Thank you so much everyone for being so kind. It's definitely stress that's a trigger. I've been doing well for so long and this week has been tough and lo n behold, the negative thoughts get out of control. This group means so much to me and you are all so supportive and thoughtful - thank you x
Post by helloamanda on Mar 5, 2015 22:04:31 GMT -5
lulu I have the same thoughts sometimes, that DH could be so much happier with someone else... Someone without my issues and could have children easy. But as @rocknrollfriend said, I see a therapist and use DBT and CBT to deal with those negative thoughts. He chose me.. He wants to be with me.. Those are just my negative thoughts creeping in and trying to mess things up! Get out of here negative thoughts!
Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status. Depression and Generalized Anxiety
How is your week going? Okay. I've been off work and went and visited my family over the weekend. But I've had a major headache for the last few days. They started me on steroids for it today and I have an MRI on Tuesday. Of course, my brain thinks worst case scenario and imagines everything that could be wrong with me. I just have to keep going and push through this headache. I go back to work tomorrow, so I hope it's not too bad because I work with newborns and that crying could be bad with a headache!
Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share? I feel like I'm struggling to keep my anxiety under control. But, I am proud of myself for going to a consult for a medically supervised weight loss clinic when I felt really nervous and anxious about it. I pushed through it, and I'm really glad I did. I feel like it's something that could help me. I go back next Thursday to start testing.
Any changes in medication or recent appointments? Been taking more Ativan than usual. I had quit using it altogether while we were actively TTC but now I just feel like I can take it whenever. Sometimes it helps with the headaches.
GTKY: What is your favorite book or author? So embarrassing, but I really don't read. I have a hard time comprehending what I read sometimes, so I just get frustrated easy
@snarklysparklefart, sometimes people can be very narrow minded and hurtful. Only you and your husband know what is best for you and your family, nobody else. Thinking of you!
runnergirl812, glad work performance is looking sharp!
mrsb1008, wishing you all the best for a continued healthy pregnancy!
@sluttybigb00bz, TTC can be a personal hell. That's what it feels like for me now, too. ((HUGS))
@alleykat05, I would confront your husband about his lack of support because he needs to be more compassionate to you especially during this time. Big hugs to you, too.
lulu, you sound exactly like me, except I voice these concerns to MH all the time and that causes him to drift away from me even more. I used to be incredibly insecure about our marriage and why he would ever want to be with me, let alone start a family with me, and he has always said that it was because he chose me to love and believed in our marriage. I'm sure your husband feels the same way too. I know the thoughts are pervasive and hard to stop. The only other thing I would like to suggest other than what the other ladies have said is maybe have a night out with your husband every month or so to get on the same page and reconcile any thoughts or feelings you are going through. I wish MH and I could do that more often, but when we do, it always makes things so much better and clears the air.
Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status: GAD/Emetophobia with panic attacks and a long history of anxiety and depression
How is your week going?: It's been up and down
Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share? DD got sick again with yet another ear infection and fever. I had a lot of anxiety and a panic attack over it all. I'm feeling a bit better now but I'm in the exhausted aftermath of it all.
Any changes in medication or recent appointments? No. I really need to book one with my therapist but it keeps getting pushed aside.
GTKY: What is your favorite book or author? I don't really have one. I love to read, and I'm terrible at decision making so I can't just pick one!
@snarklysparklefart, sometimes people can be very narrow minded and hurtful. Only you and your husband know what is best for you and your family, nobody else. Thinking of you!
runnergirl812, glad work performance is looking sharp!
mrsb1008, wishing you all the best for a continued healthy pregnancy!
@sluttybigb00bz, TTC can be a personal hell. That's what it feels like for me now, too. ((HUGS))
@alleykat05, I would confront your husband about his lack of support because he needs to be more compassionate to you especially during this time. Big hugs to you, too.
lulu, you sound exactly like me, except I voice these concerns to MH all the time and that causes him to drift away from me even more. I used to be incredibly insecure about our marriage and why he would ever want to be with me, let alone start a family with me, and he has always said that it was because he chose me to love and believed in our marriage. I'm sure your husband feels the same way too. I know the thoughts are pervasive and hard to stop. The only other thing I would like to suggest other than what the other ladies have said is maybe have a night out with your husband every month or so to get on the same page and reconcile any thoughts or feelings you are going through. I wish MH and I could do that more often, but when we do, it always makes things so much better and clears the air.
Thanks icequeen I think a night out would be great - a way to remind ourselves we can still have fun and spend time together as adults and not just parents. I'm def going to try this and start to try and do some positive things relationship wise rather than stressing non stop about the negative thoughts in my mind about us.
@alleykat05 Holy cow, what an awful thing for your husband to say! Does he not understand how these types of mental health issues work? I hope it's only that and he can offer you more support after getting more educated about it. Big hugs to you. ETA: I have a lot of guilt about being depressed too. I. Think it's a common feeling. Try not to beat yourself up.
kmmd I have a lot of anxiety around DS getting sick too. I hope you and your DD are feeling better.
@alleykat05 Holy cow, what an awful thing for your husband to say! Does he not understand how these types of mental health issues work? I hope it's only that and he can offer you more support after getting more educated about it. Big hugs to you. ETA: I have a lot of guilt about being depressed too. I. Think it's a common feeling. Try not to beat yourself up.
kmmd I have a lot of anxiety around DS getting sick too. I hope you and your DD are feeling better.
Thanks @rocknrollfriend We are working on the education piece. He knew about my mental health issues before we got married but they were well controlled. No that they're not, I am seeing how little he understands. He apologized to me since then so we are making steps in the right direction!
I'm glad to see this! I was just about to say the same thing as @rocknrollfriend. I took DH with me to a few of my counseling sessions which helped him understand things better. I recommend trying that if he's willing to go.
@alleykat05, I'm so glad to read this! I was really feeling for you when I read about how YH reacted. kmmd, I hope DD feels better soon and you get an appointment in! You need to take care of you, too!
Thanks icequeen and @wallflwr926. I do feel weak these days so I think that made it hurt so much more when he said it. I try so hard NOT to be weak! He's been better the last few days so let's hope it sticks! It's going to take a long time I think but I know he can never truly understand what this feels like.
It's ok to feel weak sometimes, @alleykat05. I am pretty sure I've been weak rather than strong 90% of my life when it comes to my ED. Just be sure you are trying to be strong for yourself and because you want to feel good about yourself than for the sake of your husband. Although my husband thinks he has this whole ED thing "figured out" and tries to put words in my mouth, he is often wrong. I know he has good intentions and is worried about me and wants me to get better, but he is also very stubborn and that leads him to make insensitive comments sometimes also.
Checking in a week too late, but I don't want to not check in because that is how I start sliding!
Please briefly describe your diagnosis/status. Remaining unknown. General consensus is either way I have anxiety and depression.
How is your week going? It was not a great week... Hence the late post I suppose. Not me related: I discovered that my sister has a panic disorder. In high school, a psychologist put her on anti-anxiety medication but we never actually talked about it. I hate that my family is so tight-lipped about these things. Prayers and positive thoughts in her direction would be appreciated, she's having a tough time right now.
Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share? Last night FI said that I have to start our conversations by saying something nice about myself. Apparently I'm bursting to list off all the horrible things about myself in our daily phone calls. That's a personal struggle that I need to work on, it's actually been highlighted in my preparation of an application for the most amazingly perfect job I found.... but more on that in my next weekly update I suppose. To prevent a lengthy TMI rant, my menstrual cycle has been a big stressor of late. I suppose I should see the doctor, but without referring me to a gyno, I'm not sure how helpful they can be.
GTKY: What is your favorite book or author? My all time favourite book is Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens. The way Dickens crafts the tale and interweaves so many plots amazes me.
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