Managing Holiday disappointment?

[irishvodkagrl]

I am brand new to all of this so I apologize if this is a dumb question.

A March of Dimes rep brought in "Happy 1st St Patrick's Day" decorations. I know that is supposed to be festive and cute but it made me sad and a little angry. St Patrick's Day is a big holiday in my family and I got so sad about not being able to buy cute outfits and take pics and all the stereotypical 1st holiday stuff.

So my question is how did you ladies manage those "stereotypical" expectations? I don't want to be consumed by this.

[kels09]

My boys were in the NICU for their first Halloween and Thanksgiving. I still bought the outfits and bibs. The NICU nurses helped me put coordinating hats on the boys and when I came back from having lunch they had dressed the boys in their 1st Halloween onesies. They got very creative with tape and some how made the newborn onesies into preemie ones all with tape! I was able to lay a bib over them like a little blanket too. I cherish those pictures. It made me cry to see that they took time and care to make sure my boys were dressed for me.

For the babies that couldn't wear clothes the nurses made sure their bedding was themed for the holiday and they always had little hats on too match the holiday. The isolete also had those little window cling things with ghosts and bats for Halloween and turkeys and pilgrims for Thanksgiving.

I couldn't tell by your siggy how old you LO's are but maybe you can put a green hat on them and a few shamrocks on the isolete? Or maybe lay them on a blanket with little shamrocks? A bib that says Kiss Me I'm Irish laid over them? It's not the best situation but you can still celebrate with them and snap a few photos.

[irishvodkagrl]

Thanks guys. My boys are just 9 days old today so I am super new to all of this

[kels09]

Mar 5, 2015 11:35:22 GMT -5 irishvodkagrl said:

Thanks guys. My boys are just 9 days old today so I am super new to all of this

Hugs irishvodkagrl, you are still in the beginning stages.  We were all the same at that stage "deer in the headlights" We are here for you.  Like aladynevertells, said you are allowed to feel sad about it all. Hang in there I hope you find a way to celebrate with them. 

[runningmommy519]

These feelings are completely normal. I'm so sorry you going through this.

[phillygal34]

It's hard. We spent dh's first Father's Day in there. The nurses made him a special card with his foot prints that I think dh will cherish more than any gift he ever gets. Allow yourself to grieve that long with the other normal things but know that next year's celebration will be extra sweet. And enjoy a green beer. You deserve it.

[marajadeskywalker]

Like aladynevertells we were in the hospital over Christmas. DS was born on Dec 21 and we were so overwhelmed. My mom quickly made us a stocking to hang by his incubator. The nurses also found a little Santa hat that they put on him before we got into the nicu Christmas morning.

It's definitely ok to feel sad, even ripped off, but like everyone said, it's ok to let yourself feel that way. It's just time to let your creativity flow

Eta: spelling and making sense out of my sentences

[brummy14]

Mar 4, 2015 19:30:44 GMT -5 irishvodkagrl said:

I am brand new to all of this so I apologize if this is a dumb question.

A March of Dimes rep brought in "Happy 1st St Patrick's Day" decorations. I know that is supposed to be festive and cute but it made me sad and a little angry. St Patrick's Day is a big holiday in my family and I got so sad about not being able to buy cute outfits and take pics and all the stereotypical 1st holiday stuff.

So my question is how did you ladies manage those "stereotypical" expectations? I don't want to be consumed by this.

Like PPs suggested, you make it what you want it to be. I was on HBR for Halloween, and the girls arrived 2 days later -- and were then in the NICU for Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years. The hardest part for us was balancing the time with family and my super insane pump schedule and my generally full day at the NICU. We didn't do anything in terms of outfits on TGiving, but on Christmas, we brought some cute hairbows and took photos (I took a lot of photos, all the time, which I encourage you do -- even if you think you might not want to remember all of this in detail. When you're on the other side of it all, you'll be glad you have all of that to look back on -- and your LO will be SHOCKED to see how far he/she has come! I'd even go so far as bringing in a professional photographer to get some photos of you with your LO -- we did when the girls were about a month old, just off of CPAP, ~33w adjusted. Those are honestly some of our favorite photos). 

Okay, enough of a side track. I know holidays in the NICU can suck, but just celebrate it with your LO, too. The tubes and nurses don't preclude any holiday celebrating, I promise!

[theycallmekveld]

We were there for St. Patrick's, Easter, Mother's Day, and Father's Day. Easter was the hardest, because our whole family gathered for a special dinner, except we were missing my son, who was at the hospital. I wish I had a good answer for you. My best advice is to just feel what you feel. The NICU is a roller coaster and you can go from elated to mad to confused in the span of thirty seconds. I found it easiest to just try to let myself feel whatever I was feeling for a while, then try to focus on something else.

You know the phrase "One day at a time"? This was my mantra in the NICU. It helped a lot. Sometimes it would be one hour at a time. Sometimes I would look at the clock and say I was just going to get through the next sixty seconds, that that was all I needed to do right then. It helped me from becoming to overwhelmed with everything. I hope it helps you. Hugs and prayers.

[theycallmekveld]

And ditto to still buying outfits and bibs and whatever else you want to do! My little 1.5 pounder was covered by his first St. Patty's bib, but I still have the bib and he still wears it Ask if you can decorate the area around their isolettes, and bring in green sheets and blankets and do it up NICU style!

[irishvodkagrl]

@**** I did thanks! We dressed both boys up and took pics. We got good news too- James is now off the cpap too and he has hit 4 lbs, while Thomas is up to 3lbs2oz!

James


Thomas

[kels09]

irishvodkagrl, I popped in tonight hoping I would see your little guys in green! They are so adorable and look like they are doing great! I'm happy for you.

[knitnut]

I have been sad that we won't be able to attend any Easter celebrations with my family this year. Next big gathering is Thanksgiving.

[MaiTaiBeth]

I liked dressing PF up for each of the holiday's. It's hard to not be with family, we have been on lockdown and will be for the next couple of winters too. The NICU nurses did a big thing for her due date (also Isla's due date) but it made me very upset but I did not want to let them know, they were trying so hard. There are going to be triggers and sometimes we don't know what they are until they hit us right in the heart.

[theycallmekveld]

irishvodkagrl, they are adorable! And I didn't know their names until now - LOVE James and Thomas, especially together! Perfect names for perfect gentlemen