How to handle a boozy office?

[Deleted]

My work environment is fantastic. I work for a tech company in event planning and the company is young and fun and I love my job. My job is so fun that we have a work beer garden, beer fridges in the break rooms, beer carts come around on Fridays, and the events team keeps a wine fridge in our pod. It's a common/normal occurrence for us to pop a couple bottles on wine after 3 on any given day. Also with my role I attend a lot of dinner/reception events where there is also drinking. Up until two weeks ago I was an active participant in the wine at work and have now turned it down three times already and people are giving me the side eye and I am running out of excuses.

What can I do so that people won't know I am pregnant by next week?

[cabgirl]

First off, let me say that your description of your work environment has me re-evaluating my life choices, and I think I need to go back to school and get a degree in event planning.

Would it be feasible to say you're on a new diet or exercise regimen that requires you to limit alcohol intake? I guess that could be problematic, too, if you're eating with or around coworkers. Just the first thing that comes to mind.

[estrellas]

You're on antibiotics you can't take with wine, so sorry guys, no booze til you're off the course! Figure out why, though - UTI/bladder infection? Something you're unlikely to share. My MIL is also on something for life that has a no-wine policy, but she still has an occasional sip, but I think it's something for her rheumatoid arthritis, so not very helpful for you.

Alternatively, you can sip some wine. Not all countries have a no-alcohol policy during pregnancy, and some people do continue to drink in moderation, so you can make that decision for yourself.

[bazingaa]

My first thought was the diet angle. Maybe just say you are trying to cut out empty calories?

edit... Spelling is hard

[Deleted]

Jan 19, 2015 7:53:11 GMT -5 cabgirl said:

First off, let me say that your description of your work environment has me re-evaluating my life choices, and I think I need to go back to school and get a degree in event planning.

Would it be feasible to say you're on a new diet or exercise regimen that requires you to limit alcohol intake? I guess that could be problematic, too, if you're eating with or around coworkers. Just the first thing that comes to mind.

99% of the time the environment is amazing but it does make hiding pregnancy superrrr tough.

I don't know if they will believe I am on a diet as all I have been doing is eating carbs. Maybe I will just say I am trying to not drink for a month? Or two? Or nine? Lol.

[Deleted]

Jan 19, 2015 7:54:07 GMT -5 estrellas said:

You're on antibiotics you can't take with wine, so sorry guys, no booze til you're off the course! Figure out why, though - UTI/bladder infection? Something you're unlikely to share. My MIL is also on something for life that has a no-wine policy, but she still has an occasional sip, but I think it's something for her rheumatoid arthritis, so not very helpful for you.

Alternatively, you can sip some wine. Not all countries have a no-alcohol policy during pregnancy, and some people do continue to drink in moderation, so you can make that decision for yourself.

My husband said to sip wine too. That might be my best bet. Or really just let then pour some and have it at my desk so it isn't as eye raising.

I should tell just the girl I sit next too and make her drink my wine.

[cabgirl]

Jan 19, 2015 7:57:09 GMT -5 @preppy said:

Jan 19, 2015 7:54:07 GMT -5 estrellas said:

You're on antibiotics you can't take with wine, so sorry guys, no booze til you're off the course! Figure out why, though - UTI/bladder infection? Something you're unlikely to share. My MIL is also on something for life that has a no-wine policy, but she still has an occasional sip, but I think it's something for her rheumatoid arthritis, so not very helpful for you.

Alternatively, you can sip some wine. Not all countries have a no-alcohol policy during pregnancy, and some people do continue to drink in moderation, so you can make that decision for yourself.

My husband said to sip wine too. That might be my best bet. Or really just let then pour some and have it at my desk so it isn't as eye raising.

I should tell just the girl I sit next too and make her drink my wine.

Lucky girl who sits next to you!

I'd maybe talk to your doctor before sipping, though. I know a lot of women choose to drink beer or wine in moderation during pregnancy, but I think most doctors will tell you to avoid it during the first trimester.

[emejay]

"I'm taking a little break from alcohol for personal reasons"

[dorkymama]

I totally feel you on this. I work for a company that makes blenders and every Friday we "test" them by making margaritas. I've had to turn them down for the past few weeks by saying I'm "in a meeting" or "on a call".

Also, we do lots of social stuff after work and find a reason to celebrate every little thing. Someone's retiring? Go to the bar. Someone's back from their honeymoon? Go to the bar. We had great sales? Go to the bar. We got certified in something? Go to the bar.

I'd say 3 of the 5 work days, there's something going on at a bar after work. All business trips involve abundant alcohol consumption until the wee hours of the morning (and we can expense booze, so it's basically free drinking). I have a work trip next week and it's going to be really hard for me to convincingly be like, "Oh, I still can't drink because... uh... stomach bug?"

[allycat]

I'm in a pretty heavy drinking environment at work too, beer cart fridays, happy hours, and our holiday party is coming up. Should be interesting.

Maybe say you've been getting migraines and have found wine might be a trigger, so you're trying to avoid it for a while? That will get you out of even needing a sip here and there.

[lilo]

I am someone who believes you don't need to make up an elaborare story, but I'll fully admit that I'm an introvert and really try to keep personal things in. I would just decline, if people suspect something, it is just that a suspicion, they won't really know. If they ask why you aren't drinking I would just say "for personal reasons". IMHO, it is a rude question, maybe you're not drinking because alcholism runs in your family, maybe because you are on some type of medication, or maybe because you are pregnant. All of which are exceptionally personal which is why I find asking that question to be so rude. I 100% admit I can be an old fashioned prude when it comes to stuff like this.

Sent from my SM-G900P using proboards

[xcrissx]

I have no advice. I just want to let all of you with beer carts in your office know how jealous I am. Is anybody hiring?

[allycat]

Jan 19, 2015 9:43:05 GMT -5 xcrissx said:

I have no advice. I just want to let all of you with beer carts in your office know how jealous I am. Is anybody hiring?

You need to get into the creative industry or the tech space. We're all booze hounds. 

[Deleted]

Jan 19, 2015 8:42:50 GMT -5 dorkymama said:

I totally feel you on this. I work for a company that makes blenders and every Friday we "test" them by making margaritas. I've had to turn them down for the past few weeks by saying I'm "in a meeting" or "on a call".

Also, we do lots of social stuff after work and find a reason to celebrate every little thing. Someone's retiring? Go to the bar. Someone's back from their honeymoon? Go to the bar. We had great sales? Go to the bar. We got certified in something? Go to the bar.

I'd say 3 of the 5 work days, there's something going on at a bar after work. All business trips involve abundant alcohol consumption until the wee hours of the morning (and we can expense booze, so it's basically free drinking). I have a work trip next week and it's going to be really hard for me to convincingly be like, "Oh, I still can't drink because... uh... stomach bug?"

Yea I will be flying out to the SF office tomorrow and will be there all week for some events, eek. At least at the work events I can get a seltzer with lime and it looks like a cocktail:)

Your office sounds very similar to mine. 

[Deleted]

Jan 19, 2015 9:36:35 GMT -5 allycat said:

I'm in a pretty heavy drinking environment at work too, beer cart fridays, happy hours, and our holiday party is coming up. Should be interesting.

Maybe say you've been getting migraines and have found wine might be a trigger, so you're trying to avoid it for a while? That will get you out of even needing a sip here and there.

That is a great idea!! Then I can do "mocktails" at the events at the bar. 

[Deleted]

Umm. In about 11 months id like to come work with you please.

But you've gotten some good ideas. I like the one about just saying you're taking an alcohol break for a bit. It's really no ones business, and truthfully, people are going to talk and speculate no matter what you say. So I would just keep it short and not really give an explanation.

[ugotstarbucked]

Another excuse: you have an ulcer and can't drink. this would also explain a cutback on caffeine/coffee.

[London]

New Years Resolution is a cool one I never would have thought of, and timely!

What about holding a drink in your hand a faux-sipping? Are they astute enough to notice if your drink doesn't disappear? Wasteful, yes, but I too am all about minimal details and information.

[euphony]

Jan 19, 2015 9:38:29 GMT -5 lilo said:

I am someone who believes you don't need to make up an elaborare story, but I'll fully admit that I'm an introvert and really try to keep personal things in. I would just decline, if people suspect something, it is just that a suspicion, they won't really know. If they ask why you aren't drinking I would just say "for personal reasons". IMHO, it is a rude question, maybe you're not drinking because alcholism runs in your family, maybe because you are on some type of medication, or maybe because you are pregnant. All of which are exceptionally personal which is why I find asking that question to be so rude. I 100% admit I can be an old fashioned prude when it comes to stuff like this.

I don't think it is prudish. I hate having to explain myself and don't understand why people don't mind their own damn business. I enjoy beer and wine, but hate being in an environment where the decision not to drink is questioned. I don't ever make mental notes of people who abstain because why would I care? 

As far as viable excuses, I legitimately don't drink if I am feeling remotely sick or am on medication. But I really don't think you need one.

[soyloca]

I'm at the point where I just don't care anymore - I'm not going to tell people but if they figure it out then so be it. Most people around me have enough respect to know that I'll tell them when I'm ready - I've only had one person flat out ask if I'm pregnant, but I know a few people figured it out over the holidays when I was barely a month pregnant.

I guess work is a trickier situation if you're wanting to hold off on your boss finding out for job security issues, I have no advice for that sorry!

[rnchloe]

I'm also having the same issue as I have plans with some girlfriends this week. I will only be 5 weeks and I really don't want to share the news with many people yet. They all know about my previous m/c and know we are TTC. I think I might just tell them we are TTC and I don't want to drink while trying?

The biggest reason I don't want to tell them is because I don't want everyone reassuring me. People saying "oh this time will be ok" "everything will be fine" is not helpful to me as EVERYONE reassured me last time although I just knew something wasn't right.

Good luck with your co-workers! Hopefully they will take the hint and not pry!

[beane]

These are all good suggestions. The other one I've done (which works better for one-off use) is being hungover/drank a bunch over the past few days and want a detox. Also just saying things like "not feeling well" might work in a pinch. I've also done the thing where I carry a glass around and pour out in bathroom and/or have husband sneak sips.

But the whole fact that we have to make up these excuses bugs me. Not sure if I should be annoyed with society for being such a nosy culture or at myself for being so consistent about my wine drinking when not pregnant, lol. We have a trip with my husband's company in about 6 weeks and I'm debating just letting them all find out at that point.

[Deleted]

Jan 19, 2015 11:05:47 GMT -5 London said:

New Years Resolution is a cool one I never would have thought of, and timely!

What about holding a drink in your hand a faux-sipping? Are they astute enough to notice if your drink doesn't disappear? Wasteful, yes, but I too am all about minimal details and information.

I don't think they would notice if I wasn't truly drinking. I think I will just pour myself a little to keep them off my backs but just won't drink it.