Post by oldbaylover1024 on Mar 18, 2015 16:53:05 GMT -5
First, I'm sorry I haven't been around to keep up with everyone. I'm putting in 60+ hour weeks and have no 'fun' time anymore. I'll be back soon... promise!
I need a safe place to vent and this is it. My SIL experienced a CP in February and a m/c in March. I reached out to say she could talk to me and she did. We chatted and I felt like we connected over our losses. I felt like she finally understood where I was a few years ago, and what I still struggle with emotionally today.
To back track a bit, my ILs were completely horrid after my losses. They said it was my fault, I didn't do something right, it couldn't possibly be a 'fluke', yada yada. Then, after my second loss, my MIL suggested my SIL (a different one) be a surrogate for MH and me. She texted this to MH on the way home from the hospital after my 2nd D&C. I've been a part of that family for 12 years and was shocked, hurt, and put off to say the least.
Now, let's fast forward. This past weekend, MH's cousin/my college roommate had her baby shower. She waited until the baby was born because of her super-high risk p/g. This baby is seriously a miracle baby. She was supposed to be delivered at 24 weeks and shattered all the odds, making it to 39 weeks and only spending a week in the NICU. It's amazing! So SIL came to the shower and had a breakdown when she held the baby. I didn't realize this because I showed up late to the shower.
I texted SIL today to tell her how well she did on Saturday at the shower and how I know it can be tough to bury your own sad emotions in order to be happy for someone else. After a little back-and-forth, she said that at least her family didn't treat me poorly when I experienced my losses.
WTF.
Are you kidding me?! It made me furious. I'm still fuming and this happened this morning. I can't get over how f**ked up that comment was after all I'd been through with them. She's the one that told me to "get over it" when I lost my baby and she had her daughter 4 weeks before my angel's EDD! I went to 6 baby showers - yes, 6 - the summer I was being tested for everything under the sun trying to find out why I couldn't keep a baby. I sent her flowers when she had her m/c. I'm the only one that reached out to tell her that hating people on FB for announcing p/gs wasn't crazy. That jealousy/envy is a normal emotion. That's she's normal. I'm the one that she calls when she needs someone to vent to about her jealousy and all those things people without a loss don't get. And she wants to act like no one treated me like sh!t after my losses?!
I know I should just be supportive and give it a rest, but god damn it! W. T. F.
Meanwhile, I talked to a woman today who has had 8 m/c with no reason/explanation and is still trying. She's amazing. I'll keep her in mind when all I want to do is stab SIL/ILs in general.
Thanks for listening. I needed that. Here's some eye candy (Clint Eastwood's son) and yummy candy as a 'thank you' 
