Confession- feeling sorry/not sorry (SIL LC mentioned)

[mrswheelo]

As with many of you, my relationship with SIL is a difficult one. I am feeling especially hateful towards her lately and am having a hard time getting a handle on it. I'm starting to enjoy disliking her

SIL is a special kind of lying bitch. Even before we conceived,  she was plotting against us. Younger SIL made a beautiful cherry cradle with their dad when she was in high school. Older SIL used it for her DS1 who was @ the time 3yo. We announced that we were ttc and that we would love to use the cradle.  SIL assured us that would be fine, as they weren't planning to have any more children and she would get it out of storage for us.  2 weeks later, she calls younger SIL and tells her she isn't giving it up and that she now wants to have another baby. >(  Grrr! I'll never understand ppl like her. She either lied when we asked her or decided to conceive bc we were.

Wouldn't ya know it, we got pregnant at the same f ing time! She actually called DH and told him she was sorry for "stealing our thunder". Like she was somehow taking away from the excitement surrounding our pregnancy. Not to mention she thinks she is a doctor and told everyone we would probably lose 1 twin in the first trimester.  
MIL is very crafty and I asked her to make these cute hats I saw on etsy for the twins. She did and they were so cute! And of course, she had to make one for fucking bitch SIL! But bc we lost our twins, she never gave them to us. 


A few days ago SIL had DS2. It was painful for me bc our twins were supposed to be here too. Made even more painful when I saw a picture on fb of the new baby wearing one of the hats I asked  MIL to make for the twins. :''''''( 


I just don't think she should have given it to her. I was the one who asked her to make them for MY babies. It hurts that she made one for SIL & still gave it to her after our loss. This may be selfish, but I am so angry with them both! 

[wrenofthesea]

I am sorry that it is so rough with your SIL. Family can be some of the toughest people to deal with, especially since you can't distance yourself from them sometimes. I would be very hurt too by what your MIL did. Those were hats for your precious twins and they should have stayed that way. My mother made some things that she was going to give us after Lillian was born (she was running behind schedule to finish them). She worried it would be painful to give us them after, but she did because she said in her heart they were for Lillian and so she had to give them to us to keep with her stuff and put in her room. It meant a lot to us- I couldn't imagine if she had given them away to someone else and I am so sorry that those hats were given to SIL. (and now I have some tears in my eyes about it)

[happyin14]

I'm so sorry you had to see that. I would be upset too.... If I understand, MIL made three hats? Two for the twins and one for SIL? I would have wanted to at least been asked if it was okay.

Also- be sensitive, people!!! Don't put it on Facebook. I get it. People will keep having babies and people will have children that get things ours don't. But just be kind about it.

I think if SIL was someone you liked more, you would have wanted her to have the hat. For whatever that's worth. But we are so entitled to feel all of the things when it comes to stuff like this. Sigh. It's all so much. Always.

[mrswheelo]

happyin14, yes, 3 hats were made, but I have no clue where the 2 for us ended up. Seeing one on SIL's baby just felt like salt in a wound. If she were someone I liked, it may have stung less. But here's the selfish part, I can't help but feel like if all babies couldn't get the hats, then none should. Or maybe if MIL had given the hats to us anyway? I am not blind to my own faults. This is pure jealousy. I wish I didn't feel it. But I'm jealous and I'm hurt. I am not the type of person to say anything to MIL, bc she probably has no clue how hurtful it was to give SIL a hat that I had asked for. It's just a bunch of shitty shit that I can only admit to you guys! Thanks for being there for me and understanding.

[lexus]

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. If you feel comfortable, maybe ask your MIL if you could have the two hats to put them with your twin's things. Your SIL's comment about losing one of the twins was so rude.

I've hidden my SIL's feed because it was hard to watch her pregnancy online. Maybe you should consider that too.

[mrswheelo]

lexus, she really doesn't post alot on fb. And I'm not upset that she posts pics of her baby, I hope to be doing the same thing soon! The hat thing just really hurt my feel-goods I'm just stuck in the state of mind that it isn't "fair" that she's so mean and everything is going so well for her. It sounds childish when I type it out, but it's the truth. I hide alot of posts if I get sick of seeing them. I just wish ppl understood the level of trauma we suffer every day as loss moms. I mean, DH is MIL' s child as much as SIL. It upsets me that she didn't seem to consider his feelings either. I thought about  asking for the hats, but I'm worried maybe she gave them all to SIL. Or to someone else. (There were alot of pregnancies close to us all at the same time). I don't think she would do that, but I'm not sure. :/

Eta: spelling is hard. Auto correct makes it harder