I've seen this story in a few articles lately. What does everyone think? Is it responsible parenting or no? If you don't agree with what the parents did, do you think that police/CPS involvement was warranted? Situations like this seem to be in the news a lot lately, so I wondered what everyone's take was.
Personally, I think this is the type of thing where you have to know your kids and your community, but I don't understand why this has become something that people freak out about. I started walking to school at probably age seven and it was at least half a mile. By that age I used to ride my bike around town with my friends and was out for hours playing around the neighborhood. So were all my friends. I started babysitting my little sister when we were about nine and three and started babysitting for other families in fifth grade. None of that was strange at all. And statistically, kids are safer today (all types of violent crime are down nationally) than when I was a kid. So why have attitudes changed so dramatically in 20 years?
I tend to hover over my kids. I just don't think there is any situation that is worth putting them at risk. Certain communities are okay with kids having more independence. Growing up, we lived in a small town and kids were out by themselves all the time. I couldn't imagine someone calling the cops unless they saw real danger. It isn't for me to let my kids walk places by themselves.
Post by redhorizon343 on Jan 20, 2015 8:41:37 GMT -5
I'm all about free range within reason. 1 mile isn't asking a whole lot of an 8 yo if he knows the route. I feel like hovering is a parental decision made out of largely irrational fear. I mean, would I let my 8 yo walk a mile away alone? As long as it wasn't past a prison and there were sidewalks.
I actually left the baby in the car with the car running the other day. I went into UPS to drop off a package. It was already pre-labeled and the car was parked within view of the place, so I could see everything the whole time and I literally just walked in, put a box on the counter, and walked out. I was never more than 20 yards from the baby. But I was so worried. Not that the baby wouldn't be OK in the car for 1 minute. But that in that time some psycho would take a tire iron to my window to "save" the baby.
Post by prairiegirl on Jan 20, 2015 11:12:30 GMT -5
I can't even handle this stuff these days. It's mind boggling to me the amount of paranoia and how involved everyone feels the need to be in everyone else's business. Do bad things happen? Absolutely. Did bad things happen 60 years ago? Absolutely. There just wasn't social media and the Internet to blow it up. We talk about how kids need to be more active and get outside and play, and then parents are getting investigated for doing just that. If it was -40 and the kids are walking around in tshirts, that warrants an investigation. Walking home, adequately dressed, from playing in the park does not require an investigation. IMO.
Post by minervamae on Jan 20, 2015 11:30:15 GMT -5
My oldest is only 4 and flighty, so I'm not sure how I'll handle things as she ages. I do hate feeling like I have to worry more about other people's perceptions than the real dangers my kids may be facing.
Post by those3words on Jan 20, 2015 11:47:42 GMT -5
I wonder if there is more to the story than what the parents are saying. On its face, I don't have a problem with a responsible 10 year old and 6 year old walking a mile in which they are familiar. CPS can't disclose anything - so this is a very one sided story.
I also would never put tags on my kids that explain that they are "free range". If you have to literally label your kids and put instructions on them, your parenting style may be a little crazy.
Controversy?Jan 20, 2015 13:04:48 GMT -5via mobile
Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 13:04:48 GMT -5
I agree that it's crazy this even made news and CPS got involved. Since when is it illegal to let kids walk home? Like many of you I lived maybe a mile from my elementary and rode my bike all the time. I personally won't feel comfortable letting my daughter walk home alone, but that's just me. I don't think it's wrong if another parent isn't as paranoid as I am. If something happens to the child, than thats a risk they knew they were taking. No reason for everyone else to get involved.
Kids today seem to have far less responsibility, so they are less able to handle situations, let alone know they way home. When I was teaching 2nd grade, I had parents who would come to school to feed them lunch. Like literally spoon feed them. No way in hell could that kid even find his way out of a paper bag, let alone all the way home. I mean, if you don't even trust them enough to feed themselves without you present at the age of 8, what else can't they do?
Kids today seem to have far less responsibility, so they are less able to handle situations, let alone know they way home. When I was teaching 2nd grade, I had parents who would come to school to feed them lunch. Like literally spoon feed them. No way in hell could that kid even find his way out of a paper bag, let alone all the way home. I mean, if you don't even trust them enough to feed themselves without you present at the age of 8, what else can't they do?
Please tell me you're joking? Please? That is taking the umbilical cord WAAAAAY too far. These parents do know that thing was cut off at birth, right? Don't they realize how they are handicapping their children-- not helping?
I really, really wish I was. It made instilling any kind of responsibility in them extremely difficult. It was partially a cultural thing. The school had a large Vietnamese population and it started with only the Vietnamese kids getting brought/fed lunch. Then it slowly extended to the rest of the school having their parents come eat with them. So they lost out on solo peer interactions and the opportunity to be responsible enough to remember their lunch every morning and not lose it by noon.
Kids today seem to have far less responsibility, so they are less able to handle situations, let alone know they way home. When I was teaching 2nd grade, I had parents who would come to school to feed them lunch. Like literally spoon feed them. No way in hell could that kid even find his way out of a paper bag, let alone all the way home. I mean, if you don't even trust them enough to feed themselves without you present at the age of 8, what else can't they do?
I saw a lot of this as a teacher, too. A LOT of kindergarten parents would be upset that no one at school would physically feed their child. It's sad, because if six is too young to put food in your own mouth and ten is too young to walk to the park, how are kids going to go from being hovered over and doing nothing for themselves to being able to fully function as independent adults in a few short years? I heard a story about some sixteen and seventeenth year old boys who missed the bus for their sports team during a McDonald's stop and their parents freaked out that they were left alone. In 1-2 years they could be sent to war but they can't handle a mcdonalds?
Kids today seem to have far less responsibility, so they are less able to handle situations, let alone know they way home. When I was teaching 2nd grade, I had parents who would come to school to feed them lunch. Like literally spoon feed them. No way in hell could that kid even find his way out of a paper bag, let alone all the way home. I mean, if you don't even trust them enough to feed themselves without you present at the age of 8, what else can't they do?
I saw a lot of this as a teacher, too. A LOT of kindergarten parents would be upset that no one at school would physically feed their child. It's sad, because if six is too young to put food in your own mouth and ten is too young to walk to the park, how are kids going to go from being hovered over and doing nothing for themselves to being able to fully function as independent adults in a few short years? I heard a story about some sixteen and seventeenth year old boys who missed the bus for their sports team during a McDonald's stop and their parents freaked out that they were left alone. In 1-2 years they could be sent to war but they can't handle a mcdonalds?
That's the problem, they can't function. I've heard some colleges basically won't speak to parents because they're doing too much. They would rather speak directly to the students so that there is at least some accountability. The best parenting/teaching quote I ever heard was "The worst thing you can do for your child is everything."
That's the problem, they can't function. I've heard some colleges basically won't speak to parents because they're doing too much. They would rather speak directly to the students so that there is at least some accountability.
I've heard this, too. Of course, privacy laws mean that professors CAN'T deal with parents which gives them a nice out, but the idea that the latest batch of new adults is so used to being coddled that their parents will actually call their professors and bosses does not bode well.
Quote continued:
The best parenting/teaching quote I ever heard was "The worst thing you can do for your child is everything."
I used to walk home from school everyday starting in the first grade. So I was ~7 and walked about a mile all by myself. Most of the walk was through my neighborhood, but part of it was on a busy street. I survived.
Post by fyoubumpmay on Jan 21, 2015 15:03:23 GMT -5
I know I'm a day late to this, but I too think this is absurd.
In the end, I think it all comes down to knowing your child and knowing your community. Some children are ahead maturity wise and some are behind. Some communities are safer than others. Would I ever let my child walk around South Florida? Heck no. But would I let her walk around Cape Cod, where I used to summer as a kid? Absolutely; once I felt that she was responsible enough.
Honestly, I think there are few things you can do for your child that are better than allowing them a little freedom and autonomy in their youth. Of course, that freedom and autonomy needs to be given within reason, but I see nothing wrong with what little we know about what the parents in this article (and many others like it) did. We had much more freedom when we were growing up and, contrary to popular opinion, the world was not a safer place back then.
I could go on for days about this. I think humans as a whole are getting dumber and have no accountability anymore. Just watch Idiocracy.
There was a study a while back that found that the average IQ is getting lower as time goes on. Human survival is too easy / convenient, and the dumb ones aren't being weeded out before they get knocked up and produce more dumb ones.
I could go on for days about this. I think humans as a whole are getting dumber and have no accountability anymore. Just watch Idiocracy.
There was a study a while back that found that the average IQ is getting lower as time goes on. Human survival is too easy / convenient, and the dumb ones aren't being weeded out before they get knocked up and produce more dumb ones.
I could go on for days about this. I think humans as a whole are getting dumber and have no accountability anymore. Just watch Idiocracy.
There was a study a while back that found that the average IQ is getting lower as time goes on. Human survival is too easy / convenient, and the dumb ones aren't being weeded out before they get knocked up and produce more dumb ones.
I'm almost certain I read about that same study. My takeaway was that if we were all dropped off in ancient Athens we'd be more knowledgable but way dumber than the average person there. And that now, with access to google at our fingertips 24/7 even the "knowledgeable" part may go away because no one will bother to know things because they can always access the info whenever they need it.
I saw a lot of this as a teacher, too. A LOT of kindergarten parents would be upset that no one at school would physically feed their child. It's sad, because if six is too young to put food in your own mouth and ten is too young to walk to the park, how are kids going to go from being hovered over and doing nothing for themselves to being able to fully function as independent adults in a few short years? I heard a story about some sixteen and seventeenth year old boys who missed the bus for their sports team during a McDonald's stop and their parents freaked out that they were left alone. In 1-2 years they could be sent to war but they can't handle a mcdonalds?
That's the problem, they can't function. I've heard some colleges basically won't speak to parents because they're doing too much. They would rather speak directly to the students so that there is at least some accountability. The best parenting/teaching quote I ever heard was "The worst thing you can do for your child is everything."
My SIL is a professor at a Nursing School and teaches the 4th year students. In her 12 years she has had 3 parents try to fight her for a better grade for their children.
Not only would it be illegal for her to speak with them about their ADULT children's private information but these ADULT's could be administering drugs/helping with surgeries/providing patient care within a couple of months! I wish she could've automatically failed them for their parents' lack of intelligence. New. Nurse. Please.
I know I'm a day late to this, but I too think this is absurd.
In the end, I think it all comes down to knowing your child and knowing your community. Some children are ahead maturity wise and some are behind. Some communities are safer than others. Would I ever let my child walk around South Florida? Heck no. But would I let her walk around Cape Cod, where I used to summer as a kid? Absolutely; once I felt that she was responsible enough.
Honestly, I think there are few things you can do for your child that are better than allowing them a little freedom and autonomy in their youth. Of course, that freedom and autonomy needs to be given within reason, but I see nothing wrong with what little we know about what the parents in this article (and many others like it) did. We had much more freedom when we were growing up and, contrary to popular opinion, the world was not a safer place back then.
I would say pretty much the same thing! Except exchange South Florida with Chicago and Cape Cod with a small town in Northern Michigan.
I am also a teacher and I had one of my kindergarteners being walked home by her 1st grade brother. If the brother wasn't ADHD and they didn't have to cross a MAJOR street and go close to a mile home it might have been okay. But all those circumstances lead to me having a serious talk with the mother.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.