New to site with a legal question :-)

[hmsosie]

Hello All!

Let me start by saying HI! My name is Sophie I'm 27 and my partner is Sasha she's 26 and we're working on conceiving! We will be using a known donor to ttc. We have decided to use her brother, and he has agreed, obviously I will be carrying. We're in the process of drawing up the donor agreement and we want to find the best way to phrase his relationship. He will have no part in parenting/parenting responsibilities etc. however he will still be uncle. Is there any way that you all have used to phrase this in the past?

Thanks!

[wittyandwaiting]

Welcome. I have no experience or insights to offer on that but I'd talk to a lawyer for the sake of protecting you both.

[RM80]

Welcome! I second the recommendation from wittyandwaiting, get a lawyer to help draw up a contract. It's not something I would attempt on my own!

[officerofthelaw]

Welcome to the site. Def consult an attorney. Something could go sour later on down the road.

[megd893]

Everything PP's (previous posters) have said. Definitely have a lawyer draw up or review before you have him sign. This is your family, and you never know what could happen.

That being said, I think everyone's relationship with their known donors is different. Some people have them involved, some dont, and many are somewhere in between with 'visits'. Something to consider as well is the relationship between his kids and yours (cousins/siblings) and how you'll broach that subject when/if they ask.

There's a book called "The Ultimate Guide to Lesbian Pregnancy" and it has some examples of known donor contracts in it. May be worth having a read for you, your partner AND her brother.

Good luck!

[karlamo]

I'll add that he can't surrender his parental rights/responsiblities until after the birth. So while the wording is nice to have down beforehand, his rights are not terminated until he signs them over after a live birth.

[healz413]

Mar 26, 2015 13:44:55 GMT -5 karlamo said:

I'll add that he can't surrender his parental rights/responsiblities until after the birth. So while the wording is nice to have down beforehand, his rights are not terminated until he signs them over after a live birth.

This is what I was going to say. I can only speak for Canada, but here any documents drawn up before birth can offer guidance to a judge but are not legally binding. Unfortunately, as a known donor, your partner's brother will be recognized as the legal father of the child until he terminates those rights/responsibilities after the baby is born. I do think it's worth going to a lawyer, even though it won't be legally binding, if for no other reason than so that every one is full informed about the situation. The legal realities of him being legally the father (until he terminates those rights after birth) may be tough to wrap your brains around and are worth having clearly out in the open.

Welcome to our board and best of luck!