H going to therapy - How do I help w/o pushing too much?

[Deleted]

Hi,
MH has finally agreed to go to therapy after avoiding it for years and the first app't is scheduled for 4/15. He has previously been diagnosed with Adjustment Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder and MI/CA, but has not received any treatment for about 8 years. He has not used in about 10 years, and has no interest in relapsing. His impulsivity and temper are the main issues that need to be addressed.
I will be going with him to his first appointment because he's anxious about the session. We will be discussing the possible use of behavioral therapy instead of medication. Due to my occupation, I have alot of clinical experience with behavioral therapy; but i'm not quite sure how to prep him without overwhelming him with information.
So my question is, how do I provide support without stepping on the clinician's toes and/or scaring the crap of my husband with way too much information?
Also in general, does anyone have any experience with having their SO in treatment at the same time as them?

ETA: Sorry for the long post.

[Deleted]

I'm no help, but I wish him luck!

[bluerainfire]

@wallflwr926, I would ask him first if he wants you in the room with him, or if he wants you to sit in the lobby. Even though you are in the field, and may know a lot. This is something your H has to do for himself. If it's couples therapy then that's a diff rent story-. Ask him how much he wants you to participate. And just be generally supportive, it's a big step for him, My Husband has gone in therapy a few times, and I just sit on the sidelines.

[Deleted]

Mar 26, 2015 18:40:23 GMT -5 bluerainfire said:

@wallflwr926, I would ask him first if he wants you in the room with him, or if he wants you to sit in the lobby. Even though you are in the field, and may know a lot. This is something your H has to do for himself. If it's couples therapy then that's a diff rent story-. Ask him how much he wants you to participate. And just be generally supportive, it's a big step for him, My Husband has gone in therapy a few times, and I just sit on the sidelines.

He just wants me to come into the initial appointment. I have no desire to attend any of the other sessions.

[lulu]

I agree with bluerainfire. Just be there, answer his questions when he asks and reassure him when he needs it. You are his wife above all else and he will appreciate more than anything that you are there for him. He's super lucky you have experience clinically and can understand what's happening to him, but the best help you can give him is to just listen, be there, support and love him. Good luck to both of you x

[icequeen]

I am so happy to read this, @wallflwr926. I'm serious. This is a really awesome and mature decision and I really think YH will benefit from this tremendously. If I were you, it would be really hard for me to restrain my own opinions and clinical speak in front of him and bring up questions about the sessions. However, if he hasn't been in therapy in 8 years, he is probably very cautious with going and opening up and I think you need to let him come to you when he feels ready to talk about how he is progressing. After a couple weeks if he hasn't said anything, then I would just ask a general question if he likes his therapist, if he feels like it's worth it to keep going, and if there is anything you could do to help him in the process. In the meantime, just praise him for the work he is putting in and tell him you are proud of him for taking this step because it's not easy! Good luck to y'all!!

[booksntea]

Great news! It sounds like a positive first step. The last time my H was in therapy, I think I may have interfered to much. I would ask him what he talked about and sometimes ask him to bring up things with his therapist. From this vantage point, I would never do that again. H is very career focused so I felt like he only talked to his therapist about his job, and I was pushing him to get into family and his past, but hopefully a good therapist would lead him there without outside guidance.

[URMySunshine77]

I don't have any advice. Just want to say that I hope everything goes positively, @wallflwr926!

[Deleted]

Thanks everyone for all the advice and well wishes.
My plan is to attend the first appointment to ensure he accurately reports information as he has a tendency to leave important details out. H and I plan to discuss with therapist what issues should be the initial focus, just to get the ball rolling. After the initial appointment, I don't care if all they talk about is balloon animals as long as he makes progress. He's been so unhappy with himself that it's affecting all aspects of life. More than anything, I want him to be happy.