Birthday Party Dilema

[esmerelda]

Maybe just do grandparents and then the friends.

We had around 35 at her party but my grandma hosted so all my aunts and uncles were right at home.

[helenahhandbasket]

We have yet to have a birthday party for DD , so no personal advice, but would it be possible for you to do a kids party, and then have family over for cake and coffee at another time?

[TheEleventhHour]

I would be more inclined to say friends only if friends plus family would be pushing it with cost. It is her birthday after all and it sounds like she would have more fun with friends. Though I have no personal experience because we haven't had a real party for DS yet because he has no clue what a birthday is yet. I mean, the first birthday being super exciting for family I can understand but I would personally not be offended if I were not invited to a 4 year old cousin/niece/nephew party because I feel that when kids start getting older birthdays become more about hanging with friends. I don't remember any birthdays very well before 3rd grade but I do know that from 8-forever my birthdays were always just friends.

[eyenigh]

Are you having it at home or going somewhere? Can you split it into two parties? One can just be an easy cake party with family and the friends party could be at a bounce house place or something?

[TheEleventhHour]

Jan 20, 2015 12:27:21 GMT -5 @threegiraffes said:

This would be her first friends birthday. The last 3 have been only family. We feel that with how much she likes her school friends and she "gets" birthdays now, she'd have a great time with them. She's been to 2 friend birthdays since school started and she's asked a couple times if they could come to hers.

This is exactly why I was inclined to say friends only. I feel like the natural progression of birthday parties is no party or family only party until the kid gets it and then birthdays become fun friend related events. 

[sahara78]

Jan 20, 2015 12:32:21 GMT -5 TheEleventhHour said:

Jan 20, 2015 12:27:21 GMT -5 @threegiraffes said:

This would be her first friends birthday. The last 3 have been only family. We feel that with how much she likes her school friends and she "gets" birthdays now, she'd have a great time with them. She's been to 2 friend birthdays since school started and she's asked a couple times if they could come to hers.

This is exactly why I was inclined to say friends only. I feel like the natural progression of birthday parties is no party or family only party until the kid gets it and then birthdays become fun friend related events. 

This is what I was thinking, too. Your DD is getting old enough that friend parties will be more fun & exciting than hanging with her relatives. Small cake with the grandparents & party with the friends!

[Deleted]

Jan 20, 2015 12:09:40 GMT -5 helenahhandbasket said:

We have yet to have a birthday party for DD , so no personal advice, but would it be possible for you to do a kids party, and then have family over for cake and coffee at another time?

That's what I had, growing up. I thinking i had a kids party form the first time when I turned 4 or 5.

[tonksy]

Jan 20, 2015 12:38:54 GMT -5 @threegiraffes said:

Jan 20, 2015 12:27:54 GMT -5 eyenigh said:

Are you having it at home or going somewhere? Can you split it into two parties? One can just be an easy cake party with family and the friends party could be at a bounce house place or something?

Her birthday is late March so it's indoors (thinking children's museum or zoo). I like the splitting idea and have a small gathering for family.

we have a december birthday and up until last year, we were able to host it at home with both family and friends by limiting the # of friends we invited. Now that she is in grade 1, she has so many more school friends. it didn't feel right to limit kids her age to make room for the grandparents & aunts/uncles.

so this year, we did a kids only birthday in the afternoon at a play gym, then I hosted dinner at our house for family. it went really well and I think we will do this from now on. so this would be my suggestion too

[BostonKisses]

I'd do a friends only party, or just invite grandparents if you have any family.

This past year we did just the grandparents and her godparents because of the moving sitch, and she doesn't have a lot of friends yet since she's not in preschool. Next year we'll likely do friends and the grandparents.

[namastebiotches]

I'd do a friend thing & invite the family for cake, etc.

[penguin129]

Jan 20, 2015 12:27:21 GMT -5 @threegiraffes said:

This would be her first friends birthday. The last 3 have been only family. We feel that with how much she likes her school friends and she "gets" birthdays now, she'd have a great time with them. She's been to 2 friend birthdays since school started and she's asked a couple times if they could come to hers.

This is a very special party then. Could you maybe have 2 parties? Do one for her friends and one for family. I'm sure there is a way to do both and keep the cost down.

[skategirl128]

I did the friends party and then had my parents over for cake. I did invite his cousins to the friends party.

[esmerelda]

Jan 20, 2015 12:22:19 GMT -5 @threegiraffes said:

Jan 20, 2015 12:08:08 GMT -5 esmerelda said:

Maybe just do grandparents and then the friends.

We had around 35 at her party but my grandma hosted so all my aunts and uncles were right at home.

It would only be my parents. The ILs are in FL and have never come back for her birthday. DH doesn't like that his family wouldn't be represented.

I get that but I think he's over thinking it. She's a kid shell remember her friends there not aunts and uncles. And really wtf them not inviting you to their parties I would stop inviting them.

[esmerelda]

Jan 20, 2015 22:53:53 GMT -5 @threegiraffes said:

Jan 20, 2015 18:29:23 GMT -5 esmerelda said:

I get that but I think he's over thinking it. She's a kid shell remember her friends there not aunts and uncles. And really wtf them not inviting you to their parties I would stop inviting them.

My thought is, she's turning 4. This is the earliest age that I have memories and she could, too. I hated my birthdays with a room full of grown up relatives and few kids. I want a different experience for her. I send my ILs an invite every year, they choose to not come. As for my sister's crap, in 5 years we've gotten exactly 2 invites for my niece and 1 for my nephew.

Then I'm voting for just do a kids party and let her have fun. Nop point in trying to make everyone happy.

[sandandsea]

I think parties are for the kids, so I'd do friends. I'd do a cake and separate thing for family. however, before kindergarten, we don't plan on doing any "friend" parties.

[emmaswan]

Starting with her 3rd birthday I started sending out invites to her classmates It's always fun to see her play with her friends outside of school!