Baby Fever Check In

[codypup]

Lol hi TLex

[codypup]

I swing wildly from thinking were OAD and to wanting a second.

Realistically, we are in no financial position to TFAS right now. We'd have to move, and 2 kids in daycare would literally put us under water. I also feel like right now we have an ideal work/personal life/child care situation going on. I worry that adding a second would make everything so much harder.

But...babies. And a sibling for W. And fun. And love, so much love.

Right now I'm staying right where I am. I figure there will come a point where things become more clear in my mind and heart that will tip me in either direction.

FWIW, my h wants more kids like yesterday. It's totally me who is saying 'not yet.'

[caer]

Burning with the fever over here. Surgery is next week so as soon as I'm cleared, we're going to start TTC. Hopefully May?

But there are definitely moments where I remember how much being pregnant sucked. I'm terrified of going through morning sickness again, especially with a toddler!

[caer]

Mar 31, 2015 8:23:12 GMT -5 @frenchtoast said:

Mar 31, 2015 8:22:12 GMT -5 caer said:

Burning with the fever over here. Surgery is next week so as soon as I'm cleared, we're going to start TTC. Hopefully May?

But there are definitely moments where I remember how much being pregnant sucked. I'm terrified of going through morning sickness again, especially with a toddler!

This is a huge fear of mine too. How will I entertain my toddler if I can't leave the bathroom floor?

Yep, exactly. I was so, so sick. Like in tears every day. My job was awesome last time and let me work from home a lot. So I managed by spending a lot of time in bed. DS probably won't be as cooperative!

[shellbell]

Nope.

Nope nope nope.

I'd imagine after we're settled in a new house we'll discuss ttc. But it might be a year from now.

[avswolf]

You're going to think I'm crazy, but I look at Miss B and miss the baby phase so bad. DH and both agree we are done, what with 6 kids, and with how much B messed with me. But I miss being pregnant and holding babies.

So I've decided to branch into newborn photography instead. I can hold and cuddle the cutenesses and not have to do the dirty work.

But.....babies.

[ciaomama]

I think I'm ready to start TTC #2, but DH isn't ready. It would make more sense to wait until September to start trying because that will allow me to accrue enough time to take a decent ML without taking leave without pay.

I'm kind of loosely charting, but we're not really DTD so there's that.

I have all the feels when I see little squishes. Although I feel like I just got my body back and I'm not sure I want to share it yet.

[bepandnick]

The fever is strong y'all.

If MH was still working, my IUD would be out and we'd be NTNP with a TTC date of June. As of now, the plan is to wait until MH gets a job that he loves. No pressure yo.

I have a line in the sand for how old I'm willing to be with a newborn, and while it's closer than I would like we still have some time before the plan may change.

[utpony]

DH and I had mostly agreed on being OAD. But deep down, I want another. I'm thinking I can convince him in a couple years to try. That's my hope. The fever is so so strong over here...

[mosaicmoscato]

Hi another one with crazy fever here! DH and I were literally talking about this last night. We originally planned on starting TTC in June/July but with my PCOS Im afraid it will take a long time for me to get KU. Also with DH in the military things are always so uncertain. He could deploy tomorrow with no warning and be gone 6months-1 year. We talked about trying next month as in like tomorrow which is exciting and terrifying at the same time! There's a kind of selfish part of me that wants to wait because Im just now on a great exercise and nutrition program and losing weight. Also if DH got the job promotion we'd be moving across country with a baddler and me being pregnant. Sounds awful.

So many decisions!!! Thanks for giving me a thread to ramble in tLex

[suzyqq02]

Mar 31, 2015 9:07:59 GMT -5 mamosey said:

Oh and P.S. We never even talked about 3. It was always 2. I don't understand these thoughts.

We will in no way shape or form be having a third, and there's still a small part of me that's saying "but what if?" about getting the tubal done when this one comes along. I've obviously got plenty of time to resolve it and I know that 2 is and will be the right decision... but logic doesn't always prevail around this stuff!

[jessasaurus]

One more crazy fever here! We are wanting to start TTC around August, but I'm schedule to student teach full time this time next year. It makes sense to wait a bit longer... but babies!

[sjelwood]

We've tentatively decided to start TTC in June. I went to church by myself on Sunday and saw so many little bitty babies that my ute was screaming. And then I rocked DS to sleep and he took up my entire body...my ute screamed again at the thought of when I could cradle him in one arm.

I am not quite ready to give my body up yet, and while I'm not expecting to get pregnant right away, I'm glad I have a few more months to be fully ready. What I need is for one of my friends to have a baby like now that I could snuggle.

[mevaroo]

DH and I both have a bit of the fever. It would be a horrible idea, financially, so it's a good thing I goodby tubal after E. But babies. H and I have talked about maybe adopting in a couple/few years? We'd like to get some more debt paid off before we really look into that more.

[bgmom]

Anyone else getting pressure from family to not do the OAD? B is 14 months old, and already people are asking when the second is coming. When I tell them we're not sure if we want another, they put on the guilt trips about not giving her a sibling and how "weird" she could get if she were an only child. Really?!? I get bouts of baby fever BADLY, but I also remember how I hate sleep deprivation and the assorted other problems that come with a newborn. Cute and cuddly? Yes please. Pumping and constantly worrying about her milk intake? No thanks! Right now I kind of like the idea of having our happy little family as it is, and financially we're in a good position.

PS - has anyone here actually done the OAD, whether from unforeseen circumstances or by choice? How is it going for you? Because right now DH and I are leaning that way...

[jackiep1023]

I have the fever! I think DH is wanting to be OAD, but I want at least one more. We don't have a timeframe for this, but I want to be healthier going into another pregnancy than I am right now (hence part of why I'm so motivated to work at losing weight!) Also, we need to work on paying down debt and building up savings a little bit. I have been trying to get DH to nail down his specifics of what 'paying down debt' and 'building up savings' means. I have an idea in my own head, but I am betting his is much different. We are in a good position right now to have another-his work is stable, I work only part-time, and I have a lot of flexibility.

I am thinking we will evaluate where we are in the fall, after my brother's wedding (in Aug).

[squirm]

Also feverish. Dh and I are both ready but my body is not on board (still no AF). Maybe my body knows something I dont?

mamosey have you considered 4? Bc how fun* would it be if you and k were pregnant at the same time?? You could give birth on the same day! (*so, that probably is not actually fun but would make a good rom com)

[jocountry]

Mostly lurker here but you hit my stress point. We never planned on OAD but it is looking like that makes more sense. I'm so sad just reading this thread is making me cry.

H has a health prob that isn't resolving and I'm the primary breadwinner. We were TTC this winter but nada. And H doesn't feel any better and isn't ready for more baby sleep deprivation and worry. I get it and scheduled an IUD. H is 42. An IUD and waiting now till his health is better almost definitely means OAD. Sob! I wanted a second baby so bad.

[squirm]

Mar 31, 2015 9:50:48 GMT -5 mamosey said:

Mar 31, 2015 9:47:24 GMT -5 squirm said:

Also feverish. Dh and I are both ready but my body is not on board (still no AF). Maybe my body knows something I dont?

mamosey have you considered 4? Bc how fun* would it be if you and k were pregnant at the same time?? You could give birth on the same day! (*so, that probably is not actually fun but would make a good rom com)

soooo.....there is this blogger we followed. Lesbian couple who both went through reciprocal IVF (switched eggs). Transfer on the same day, and they both got pregnant. Woah.

Did they already give birth?? I want to read this blog. Is it too single white female for you guys to also do this? Is that what you are saying here?

[avswolf]

bgmom I'm an only child and I never really wanted siblings. Don't let them guilt you if you know what you want.

[squirm]

mamosey How scary but happy to see they have both their little ones now! Maybe they are lurking here??

[avswolf]

jocountry so sorry you're going through that. T&P's to you and YH.

[karlamo]

Mar 31, 2015 9:01:03 GMT -5 mamosey said:

Guise...don't tell karlamo this, but I seriously had a thought that I can't wait to try for #3. What the what? #2 hasn't even arrived yet.

You can have baby #3.  I'm sure there is a nice woman out there who would love to be your new wife.  Or a better idea is you and avswolf, can be sister wives and raise all the babies!

[karlamo]

Mar 31, 2015 11:07:20 GMT -5 tLex said:

mamosey I just googled spirit babies and I'm pretty sure I have at least 14 in my aura.

I almost choked on my chop suey from laughing so hard. 

mamosey, Add Tlex to your sister wives collection. 

[hammysmommy]

fFeverish.

DSD is 12, babyG is 1. When he starts Kindergarten, she'll be a senior in HS. So essentially all of his school years, he'll be alone. I've felt badly for DSD that, at our house anyways she's been alone so much, with no one to play with besides DH/me, so this (+squishy babies) makes me want to +1.

Getting pg with babyG was not easy/fun. Fertility woes. DTD became a chore and there weren't enough ideas to make it fun - especially since if DH didn't want to dtd that time, it inevitably was "the right time" so then I'd get upset... Being 38.5, I'm not sure I'm up for more rounds of medication, but I think I may be ovulating (today in fact) without medication, so there might be a chance without meds. I'd be up for, I guess NTNP since I think I'd have to take the meds again to call it TTC, but as codypup said, 2 in daycare would put us well under water... but, being 38.5, every day I'm getting closer to the invisible line of "how old do I want to be with a newborn"...

I had a great pregnancy, so no worries there. Delivery not so much, but I don't think it's a guarantee that the next wouldn't be better/at least as good, so I'm okay with that too. My boobs will likely still be non-functional-for-feeding (read tubular breasts), but knowing that in advance, it wouldn't be as heartbreaking, and the feeding was the hardest thing for me (well the sleep deprivation, but that's not really all better yet so wtf not do it again before I get good sleep again and am unwilling to give it back up?) so besides $$ I really can't think of a reason not to... We have the room in the house. We have the love in our hearts.

$$ sux, but babies...

[caer]

Mar 31, 2015 11:41:02 GMT -5 karlamo said:

Mar 31, 2015 11:07:20 GMT -5 tLex said:

mamosey I just googled spirit babies and I'm pretty sure I have at least 14 in my aura.

I almost choked on my chop suey from laughing so hard. 

mamosey, Add Tlex to your sister wives collection. 

Lololololololol. I want to visit. This sounds like a fun group of sister wives.

[katybriggs]

I have the fever. It's bad. I knew I wanted a second when A was like a week old. It hasn't changed one bit. DH is starting to soften from his rigid very firm no. But with our financial outlook grim, it's not in the cards right now.

But when his mom said she'd move down here, I know it's possible. We just have to wait for free childcare to make it in state. it may be a while still, I wish I was KU right now though. Babies babies babies.

[avswolf]

I'm not sure DH would give me up.....

[karlamo]

Mar 31, 2015 12:03:27 GMT -5 avswolf said:

I'm not sure DH would give me up.....

That is the sweetest thing I've heard. 

See how quick I was to drop my wife...poor thing.

[LBS2012]

Mar 31, 2015 9:41:06 GMT -5 bgmom said:

Anyone else getting pressure from family to not do the OAD? B is 14 months old, and already people are asking when the second is coming. When I tell them we're not sure if we want another, they put on the guilt trips about not giving her a sibling and how "weird" she could get if she were an only child. Really?!? I get bouts of baby fever BADLY, but I also remember how I hate sleep deprivation and the assorted other problems that come with a newborn. Cute and cuddly? Yes please. Pumping and constantly worrying about her milk intake? No thanks! Right now I kind of like the idea of having our happy little family as it is, and financially we're in a good position.

PS - has anyone here actually done the OAD, whether from unforeseen circumstances or by choice? How is it going for you? Because right now DH and I are leaning that way...

We're 99% sure we're OAD. We're just feeling content and enjoy the balance we've found. We are asked about #2 all the time. People are concerned DS won't have a sibling. DH is an only child and I've never been close to my sister. Having another just to provide a sibling doesn't make sense to us. Only children are not destined to be weird either. I think that's a baseless fear people concoct using anecdotal evidence.

You asked how is being OAD going. I'm not sure how to answer that. For us it just means there's no talk of more kiddos. It means we just feel really happy and content where we are right now and are truly okay if we never expand our family.

I do have to add that I wouldn't be as firm about our OAD status if DH and I were younger. If we were to have another child, I'd want to wait 3 or 4 more years. I know plenty of couple have babies into their late 30s and early 40s but I don't think that's us.