Potty whisperer?

[NiteStar73]

Chris is 5 1/2 and he's STILL not potty trained.  The whole "he's not ready" flew when he was 3, maybe 4 but he's on the road to 6 and I don't know what to do anymore.

I've been told to watch his schedule.  I do and he goes every day at 6:40 so after 4 days I put him on the potty at 6:35-6:40 - nope that day he decides he's not going to pee until he's on the bus on the way to school (close to 8:00 am).  

Is there such a thing as a potty training specialist?  Where could I even start looking?

Thanks!

[dixienormous]

Have you thought about calling a meeting regarding his IEP and having it added in?

we had PF's IEP meeting a week or so ago and discussed this. She's not ready yet but when the time comes they can add personal care/toileting into her IEP.

[hopecounts]

Honestly our BCBA was key to us PTing DD, I would look into if there are any BCBA's who would work with you on this.
We used a program they had used with a lot of kids very successfully and with the exception of a poop set back (which the BCBA helped us address and fix) she was trained in 3 days.

[cam]

Do you know what driving forces are behind it? My LO is hyposensitive to a lot of things, and it seems like it is also the case with the signal that says he needs to pee. We also had resistance to wearing undies instead of a diaper because of rigid thinking. For us, I decided the first step would be to move all diaper changes into the bathroom so he had to physically move away from his activities, then work on wearing undies after that. I would periodically talk about how he was running low on diapers and soon would need to start wearing undies. He has recently become much more logically driven, which helps rationalize a deviation from a "rule" he is stuck on. I would also make both available and ask if he wanted to save his diapers since he needs them for sleeping. The other day, he was out of diapers in the little bin we keep them in in the bathroom, and I quick stuck the bag of them (usually on a low closet shelf) on a higher closet shelf out of sight. Because he couldn't find any, he agreed to wear undies. He had a lot of accidents until I figured out I had to talk him through how to get the pee flowing (I think when he had been peeing, it was because he was just so full that it would just come). We had been talking for a few weeks (after he peed on the bathroom floor following a bath) about how he needs to make sure to get the pee out in the toilet, just like we make sure to get the water out of his bath squirt toy before it comes out of the tub. When he would sit on the toilet, he would say he was out of water, then turn around and have an accident 15 minutes later. Once I figured out the issue, I instructed him to "double check" by squeezing his belly, and sure enough, he peed on the toilet. We still had accidents as we figured out his timing and what affects timing (and by how much). Every accident is still a surprise to him, which is partially why I think the hyposensitivity is at play, though I am sure hyperfocusing on something only adds to the issue. Basically, we are no where near actually having him PT'd because he can't tell us when he needs to go. Because he is getting to the age where not being PT'd is going to start being more and more of an issue, we wanted to get on it this summer (though we unexpectedly fell into last week instead), at least having us as parents (as well as his babysitters) be trained. By that I mean, we are trained to take him periodically to use the toilet (I don't consider that to be him being trained, as it can be done with an infant). The benefit is though that to his peers, it won't be one more way in which he is different (once we actually have it down - we still have accidents) because he will be wearing undies just like them. Hopefully it eventually helps him gradually try to tune in carefully to the subtle signals that he needs to pee, though that is probably a long way off. Not sure if any of those issues are common to your situation, but my point in sharing is that we are having LO use the toilet and wear undies despite the fact that he isn't ready to be actually trained for himself. My point is also that if you don't have a BCBA or someone similar who could help, it would be good to analyze the situation yourself (or with help from input from others close to him also such as caregivers, teachers, etc) to look for what reason(s) are driving it (such as the above issues my LO has, not wanting to sit on the toilet due to ___, not wanting to pee in the toilet due to ___, not wanting to step away from activities, not caring about or not realizing how others view the fact he is in diapers [<-- that would also apply to my LO], etc) and start to address them one by one. Good luck from someone in a similar boat!

[mrsbuttinski]

UGh. That's tough.

I agree that an ABA approach might make sense at this point even though I don't like the idea of this being an IEP goal. It can go badly if teachers resent this because they see it as a parenting task. But it is stigmatizing at this age, so whatever gets it done seems to be the way to go.

There are books dedicated to PT for those on spectrum; I know folks who swear by this one-

www.difflearn.com/product/494/daily_living_skills?gclid=CIzN0Lig1cQCFcxj7AodiEwASA

We PT'd DS well before his dx. We waited until he showed physical signs of readiness and until I had a window of opportunity. My MIL was very sick and we'd been taking 12 hour drives to visit. I didn't want to take the PT show on the road. I explained the new rules- 'pee and poop go in the toilet and it's your job to make it happen". And then I gave him some juice and put him in Thomas the Tank Engine undies and told him to keep Thomas dry. He had a couple "accidents" before he "got" it. TBH, bladder training took one morning. We went out in real undies that afternoon. Bowel training took a bit longer, but was the same process plus cleaning himself up as a natural consequence.

[NiteStar73]

Apr 1, 2015 8:57:56 GMT -5 mrsbuttinski said:

UGh. That's tough.

Scrote-Cat agree that an ABA approach might make sense at this point even though Scrote-Cat don't like the idea of this being an IEP goal. It can go badly if teachers resent this because they see it as a parenting task. But it is stigmatizing at this age, so whatever gets it done seems to be the way to go.

(...)

Funnily enough, today was his IEP meeting and at the end they asked if there was anything else and I said "yes but I'm not sure it's something that can be addressed at school" and they asked what it was and I said potty training.  Both the teacher and district representative jumped in to say that yes they would definitely help with this and that it would be included as part of his IEP goals.

I'm going to check out the link to see what we can get from it.  He is at an age already where one of his cousins was like "why does Christopher still wear diapers?"  His mom explained that not everybody is ready to use the toilet independently at the same time - very matter of fact-like.  Which was perfect.  Since mom didn't make a big deal out of it, cousin was just fine with the explanation.  

[mcribster]

ABA totally helped DS potty train. I'd work with school and ABA at home if you have it. When it was done right, DS really took off on it and mastered it quickly.