people that help** warning, rainbow mentioned*

[angelsnight]

I know many of us go through things after our losses and deal with people who say hurtful things, but I thought it might be nice to share some things that people have done to help, either right after your loss or in the years since.

Counting my angel and my rainbow, my inlaws have 8 grandchildren and my MIL ALWAYS counts our angel.  My dad sometimes messes up and says our rainbow is his first grandchild, but I know he considers Kayla to be his first, but my heart just smiles whenever my MIL says she has 8, or when she says she has 6 beautiful granddaughters and not just 5.

We recently celebrated our angel's 2nd angelversary, and so far both years MH's best friend has tagged us in a post on facebook about remembering Kayla and how his prayers are with us.  Now granted, he is a bit of an AW, so he has some ulterior motives for the post, BUT he remembers her every year and that's all that matters to me.

[flutterfly88]

So beautiful. I'm glad you have such thoughtful people in your life.

The doula I had when Parker was born has been such an encouragement. She wrote out his birth story, and will be sending it to me (she sent it before, but I never got it because of massive computer issues on her end). I talked with her today, and she said she had sent me a message on his due date. (same computer issues made it so I didn't get the message). Not many people remembered that day, so even knowing now a month and a half out that she was thinking of us warms my heart. Sadly she missed his funeral, although made it to the reception time afterwards. She said then that she would love to watch the video if we would let her, and just talking on the phone with her today, she asked again about the funeral video.




****pregnancy mentioned*****





I'm currently pregnant (7 weeks) and she as offered doula support to us for this pregnancy as well. She's even willing to walk with us through this pregnancy, offering to meet with us and talk about our fears, and help us through.

[heatherms]

April 1st was my daughter, Georgia's, first birthday. I was so happy to see all of the people who commented, sent messages, mailed cards, or tagged us in status updates wishing her a happy golden first birthday and letting us know they were thinking of us. We kept a blog while she was in the hospital for the 40 days she was with us and updated facebook with a lot of pictures, so I think a lot of people feel close to her, which helps them to support us.
I do think that people find it easier to support us when we are positive about things- we were celebrating her life, we bought balloons and made cake, and smiled at her memory... I worry that it won't be as well received on May 10th when we are recognizing her first angelversary and don't have a whole lot to be smiling about. Emotions make people awkward.

[mrswheelo]

My mom is just always great about Lane and Lydia. She always talks about them and made a bunch of things for them. (Outfits, blankets, etc). She was going to give them to us at the baby shower, but that didn't work out. She made it a point to make sure we got everything she bought/made for the twins. It means alot to me that she doesn't act like they didnt exist, like some ppl do.

[happyin14]

Sorry I am late to this! Especially as I love it. Most of this will be repeats:

- my best friend called me daily for a year. The rule was I only had to answer when I wanted to. And I could cry, scream or just say "hi! Tell me a funny story." It was the best. It meant so much that she called every day. And a very rarely answered.

- a good friend who had lost her sister. She never asked what I needed or whatever, she would just do. A gift certificate for Halloween so we didn't have to stay home. Sent food. Emailed me on the 9th of every month the first year. Emails on holidays to say she's thinking of me. Such a good friend.

- anybody who asks me about Jack or brings him up. Because people don't like to do that.