social media and rude family

[RedDDD]

Ok at first I was going to say just hide them from your view but she actually makes those comments on your pictures? Thats eff'd up. I might create a group with just her in it that has different security settings. I have a group that are co-workers that I dont let them see any of my pictures. If its always pictures of your child or family then change your security settings for that album to restrict her access. Just some ideas.

[happymama]

Since she obviously reads your posts, she will know right away if you delete her and that will probably create drama. I would talk to her as a first step. Let her know that you want those comments kept private and would appreciate if she would talk to you about it and leave it off facebook. If she does it again I would call her on it and if she apologizes let it go ONE time. After that I would delete her if it happened again.

[annarose]

How close is she? Is she a cousin? A sister in law? And are the comments random or do they have anything tondo with what's going on in the picture?? In always amazed by what people will post on FB.
Like PP I would adjust my security settings. You can block thing just from her without deleting.

[redfraggle]

I would personally speak to her directly because that is how I handle things. If you need a digital trail, do it in writing, via FB PM. I had a friend a few years ago make a rude comment about me sharing my grief over my MC anniversary on a FB status update; I called him on it within the comments and was actually very polite because I thought *maybe* he just didn't understand how sensitive the topic is for me. He got really upset and unfriended me. It reflects poorly on him, not me, so I got over it quickly. With a relative it is more complicated, so I would have a conversation or at least use a more private medium for the confrontation. But I do agree that hashing out your differences is inappropriate in the comments section of a picture or status update posted to FB, the digital equivalent of making snarky comments in front of a crowd.

If her points are valid, you should acknowledge that to her while sharing your expectation that she will approach you more privately with concerns or grievances in the future.

GL!

[carli]

I would definitely delete the comments so they aren't public. Then pm her and discuss them to whatever degree you deem necessary. Like PPs I'd give her the opportunity to start making her comments more privately if at all, and if she can't respect that, then I'd block her.

[redfraggle]

jnetx, knowing this (and I didn't quote in case you go back and edit), I would probably have your H talk to her. She has some boundary issues and also control issues (?). I can see her perspective, but you are also entitled to have your own life with your own plans. And I've had issues with my own family and even friends expecting me to plan in time with them when I have limited time in a visit. (It's gotten ridiculous and ugly at times because some people have no concept of others' needs or abilities.) It is 100% ok that you planned a visit that didn't devote time to this particular person, as long as you make arrangements with her at another, more reasonable time.

And hugs!

[girlonfire]

I think the others nailed it pretty good. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that this lady has no social sensibility when posting in a semi pubic forum and her posts reflect poorly on her, not you. I'm sure your other friends and family are able to see her for the knob that she is. My MIL makes the most awkward comments on the very few photos that I post of dd and it just hangs there like a 'wtf was that' kinda deal. It's so weird and annoying so I have complete sympathy for your position.

[redfraggle]

Apr 7, 2015 12:15:28 GMT -5 jnetx said:

Apr 6, 2015 19:56:34 GMT -5 girlonfire said:

I think the others nailed it pretty good. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that this lady has no social sensibility when posting in a semi pubic forum and her posts reflect poorly on her, not you. I'm sure your other friends and family are able to see her for the knob that she is. My MIL makes the most awkward comments on the very few photos that I post of dd and it just hangs there like a 'wtf was that' kinda deal. It's so weird and annoying so I have complete sympathy for your position.

You are so right...my step mom texted me yesterday to say how weird the other family members comment was. I have had friends comment on it more than once and the rest of H's family is quick to defend me as well. I think most people definitely see that she is the wacko here.

Did I mention she is the one who announced my current pregnancy on fb before I'd had a chance to tell my dad? Fun times.

Ugh! I think I remember you venting about that. At least others in the family have your back.

[girlonfire]

Apr 7, 2015 12:15:28 GMT -5 jnetx said:

Apr 6, 2015 19:56:34 GMT -5 girlonfire said:

I think the others nailed it pretty good. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that this lady has no social sensibility when posting in a semi pubic forum and her posts reflect poorly on her, not you. I'm sure your other friends and family are able to see her for the knob that she is. My MIL makes the most awkward comments on the very few photos that I post of dd and it just hangs there like a 'wtf was that' kinda deal. It's so weird and annoying so I have complete sympathy for your position.

You are so right...my step mom texted me yesterday to say how weird the other family members comment was. I have had friends comment on it more than once and the rest of H's family is quick to defend me as well. I think most people definitely see that she is the wacko here.

Did I mention she is the one who announced my current pregnancy on fb before I'd had a chance to tell my dad? Fun times.

My mil did this too to my husbands cousin. Seriously, WHO DOES THAT!!!  Ugh, some people.  I think my eyes have just rolled outta my head.