Whiny crybaby LO!

[kimberpoo]

I noticed a few of you mentioned your LO's were kinda cling-y lately. I swear my kid is taking the cake! every time I put him down, he starts making his super whiny-almost-crying-loud sound. like aaaaaaaahhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh. he wants to be held 24/7. and if we close any door, even the refrigerator or cabinet doors, he melts down. constant. constant. constant. whining. always making loud almost crying noises, even when we play with him. what happened to my happy guy??

he's teething a bit but that doesn't seem to be the issue. he just seems kinda......super needy. we give him tons of attention and stay right next to him, but that's not helping. anyone else's LO's like this? how do I break this whining habit? It's driving us crazy.

[bebeski]

E is like this when teething. Her threshold for coping is significantly reduced to nothing.

[maganonymous]

My LO literally cries when I go to stand up after I finish changing her diaper and tries to grab onto my shirt. She never used to before...I'm thinking it's a phase.

[jtizzay]

Also they're testing us. They see that they get what they want when they whine. Obv there is time and place to comfort and hug etc but they also developing strong feelings and emotions and learning to deal w them.

[sanibel21]

We are definitely dealing with this also. I try to be very consistent about what I do respond to (falls, bumps, etc) and what I do not respond to (her wanting something not appropriate or her not wanting to be where she needs to be). So she learns what is acceptable to cry about and what isn't. But it is such a fine line because I worry teething or belly aches or something else physical is causing it and she's feeling ignored or uncared for

[jtizzay]

Apr 9, 2015 19:17:20 GMT -5 sanibel21 said:

We are definitely dealing with this also. I try to be very consistent about what I do respond to (falls, bumps, etc) and what I do not respond to (her wanting something not appropriate or her not wanting to be where she needs to be). So she learns what is acceptable to cry about and what isn't. But it is such a fine line because I worry teething or belly aches or something else physical is causing it and she's feeling ignored or uncared for

Omg I worry too. But my doctor put it well. "They're testing you. They're very smart. They're learning boundaries. If something is really wrong they let you know. Go with your gut mama" idk it helped me!

[nattybumppo]

Mine has been like this for awhile - so if it's a phase it's a really long phase. Or if she was testing me, I guess she's won. I don't know.

She's very insistent and determined and sometimes that is coupled with clingy and whiny. She does this weird thing when I'm holding her sometimes and sort of points at something somewhere in the room very insistently so I try to put her down next to it but she freaks out and wants to be in my arms (grabs me) but then freaks out if I leave the area she's pointing at. She can be verrrrry clingy. DD1 never was.

This baby is so different from DD1 - 180 degrees different. I feel like I've really screwed up with her. DD1 was just really, really easy. This one is opinionated and spirited and determined and loud and clingy and I just feel like I'm having a hard time balancing my spirited baby and my now very spirited 3 year old. It's like which one is being louder for my attention and I just want to escape all of it. Trying to balance them and I can't even think.

And it's really hard to ignore this one. Even when I do manage to undo her little fingers from grabbing my arm and put her down on the floor she sometimes just crawls back over, chasing me, until she's able to climb up my leg, screaming all the while. If I put her in the PnP she was just stand and scream in there - sometimes for 20 min. (Sometimes I do put her down and she'll freak for a minute but then find something else to entertain herself with, but this struggle is real.)

So no real advice, just commiserating with you.

[angelsnight]

We are dealing with this too. In the morning I go in and she is in her crib, happy happy and smiling, then I pick her up to change her diaper and she cries and cries. I get her to stop crying, I sit her down to go get her breakfast and she cries. If I take something from her she shouldn't have, she cries. She cries all the time, for any reason.

I'm sorry you're going through this, but I am glad there are others. I was worried we were doing something wrong. I keep asking people, do one year olds cry this much all the time? She was such a good newborn and infant, always content and happy. She's still happy, but she can go from smiling and laughing to crying two seconds later. I'm hoping it is a short phase.

[ellabee]

Omg so much of the whining and clingyness. DD will walk up to me and if I don't pick her up right away its like a tea kettle it starts off quiet but then just builds into a shriek.

She also sits on the floor and folds in half until her head is on the ground if she doesn't get what she wants. Which I guess is like 95% of he time now. ::sigh::

[Deleted]

E cries and is whiny but I wouldn't say it is all the time. She can be very content playing by herself as long as I'm nearby. I honestly think it's bc I have taught her to. I had to teach her to entertain herself so that my DS and I could get his schoolwork done. I was going insane bc all she did the entire time we did school was cry and shriek.

One of my parenting books suggests "playpen time." Basically it is a designated time when your baby goes in the PNP and plays independently for a set amount of time. They say no more than 2 times a day and for no longer than 45 minutes. I usually do 30-40 minutes. I bought a timer and set it and she typically (~95% of the time) plays quietly until the timer goes off. Once it goes off I immediately go get her and make a big deal about the timer. So now she knows that the timer is what ends her time not crying or fussing about it.

I had to work up to the 30-40 minutes. We started with 5 minutes until she could do that without crying. Then we moved to 10 minutes until she could do that length of time without crying, etc.

It has been one of the best things I have implemented. Otherwise, my son would be repeating this grade bc we weren't able to get any work done with all the screaming and crying.

[zandeela]

yep I have the whining too. at the end of the day when we get home she is a Velcro child. Trying to cook is damn near impossible. give her crunchies and she is fine until they are out, but I don't want to give her anymore to ruin her dinner. DH tries to help but she only wants Mama. she loves to do the bend over till her head touches the floor routine. she did it too hard onetime and actually bonked her head on the tile. she is much more careful about it now. But she will do this anytime she does not want to do something or if we tell her no. I usually move her to a safe place and sit about 5 feet away from her. If she gets up and walks to me I will cuddle her for a few minutes and she will be fine until I try to get up or heaven forbid walk away from her!!

[kimberpoo]

thanks girls! sounds like we are all going through the same thing. I wish I was a SAHM so I could be sure our 'training' was consistent.
this morning LO was pretty good for about 20 mins while I was getting ready and then he just snapped into whiny-yelling at me while holding onto my leg mode. I told him firmly 'no' and set him down about 5 feet away from me (on a few t-shirts so he didn't bonk his head when he flipped out.) he got up, crawled back to me and did it again. I moved him again and ignored him. lather rinse repeat for about 5 mins then he suddenly stopped crying and began playing with his toys. I think it's just going to take firmness and consistency. it's so hard though!! makes my days so stressful.
I was going to KILL dh this morning. he's on midnights, which sucks, but he gets home right when lo wakes up an I'm rushing to get ready. does he spend 30 mins playing with his baby so I can get ready? nope. he 'wants to lay down'. but really, he wants to go watch tv in the bedroom. and then yell from the bedroom about the baby making noise. REALLY? spend 5 freaking mins with your kid when you're not on your phone. how about that. and since you can't help me, have fun washing your own clothing and making your own meals. (this ignore the family thing is becoming a bit too routine for him). so over it. sorry 'bout the rant.

[babycaps]

M does this too! and he KNOWS when he's testing limits. It's pretty hilarious. He will throw a tantrum if he doesn't get what he wants but moves on quickly.
He also crawls to things he knows we say "no" to and stops just as he gets to it, looks back, smiles and then goes for it! it's so hard not to laugh!

[younglove316]

DD has been extra clingy lately, especially to my husband. There have been a couple of times where he walks away from her and she will almost make herself sick she gets so upset. I cannot get anything done it seems though because she's constantly on the movie.

As for your husband, night shift sucked for us too! My husband too would come home and go right to bed and if I asked him to get her so I could have a little extra sleep, it was a huge deal. I just kept reminding myself he's exhausted I'll let it slide. Hopefully things get better for you!

[g33kyg1rly]

LO has been like this too. She's been hanging onto my leg a lot, making me walk with her attached to me, and then cries/screams if I take her off. She's also been testing limits like babycaps mentioned -- going towards something she isn't supposed to touch, pauses and looks at me when I say no, does it anyway, and then freaks out when I take her away. When she doesn't want to be picked up and taken away from something, she'll curl herself into a ball with her head on the ground to make it as hard as possible for me to lift her.

I'm glad to know it isn't just me, as I've also worried at times that I've screwed something up and she has insecure attachment or behavioral issues. This is probably flame-worthy, but sometimes I've felt just a tiny bit jealous of other folks' kids who seem so much easier to handle. Of course I know outward perceptions are often deceiving.

I've been reading "Raising Your Spirited Child" before bed lately. While the first third is mainly a lot of psychology, the rest does give some ideas on how to deal with various issues. Unfortunately a lot of them are more difficult to apply at this young age as they involve a level of talking and reasoning she isn't really capable of yet, but it is a starting point.

[bennieangel]

We have a rule tester too. It's tiring! And I have a hard time being firm or ignoring the crying when he's melting down because I set him down or walked a way. We also now have crying when I leave for work for the first time. I hope this mama phase is short lived.

[human1]

nattybumppo, I feel like we have the same kids, but reversed. My 2 1/2 yo is "spirited" ( or high needs, or a diva. Whatever you wanna call it) and has been since day 1. She was an extremely difficult baby. DD2 was the easiest baby ever. Then she hit 1ish and turned into a tantrum having, whining, drama llama. I'm sure it's a phase. She's making a lot of developmental leaps, and I think some clinginess and generally being a pain in the ass goes along with it. But it is really hard. A lot of days I feel like I'm just addressing the needs of whoevers yelling loudest. And I'd buy them both a freakin pony if I could just get a few minutes of quiet and no one yelling at me.

ETA : her favorite thing to do when having a tantrum, if I walk away from her, is to screech as loudly as possible while crawling to where I am, then throw herself on the floor at my feet and sob pathetically. It's very charming.

[Deleted]

Apr 10, 2015 13:03:42 GMT -5 babycaps said:

M does this too! and he KNOWS when he's testing limits. It's pretty hilarious. He will throw a tantrum if he doesn't get what he wants but moves on quickly.
He also crawls to things he knows we say "no" to and stops just as he gets to it, looks back, smiles and then goes for it! it's so hard not to laugh!

This is exactly how DS is.

[babycaps]

Oh there is also what we call the "starfish" move. When he DOESN'T want to be picked up or moved away from something, he spreads his legs and arms wide open or up so that we can't pick him up under his arms! it's hilarious!