TTC Check-In (April 13)

[wittyandwaiting]

Week two of the TTC specific check-in!

Tell us where you are, milestones, big deals, small wins, gripes, whatever you want to share.

**If you have a BFP to share- start a new thread so we can all celebrate with you, please don't post it here!!**


RM80
kh826
mahler5
cetcar
wittyandwaiting
esquette
kona
Stringy
shemarie82
bmorecharming
03mrstn
luckypanda

QOTW: TTC is tough and there are lots of ups and downs; what do you do to keep sane(ish) or be kind to yourself? What does your partner (if applicable) do?

[shemarie82]

A couple of weeks ago, I had emergency surgery to have my gall bladder removed. I looked at my EOB this morning, and I have met my max out of pocket for the year. (HOLY HELL THAT SHIT IS EXPENSIVE-$25,000!!!!) So now, my mind is moving again on the RE. I didn't expect that max out of pocket to be met this year, certainly not in March. So, if we wait until Sept and get an appointment in Oct...we are def pushing things when we could have some extra services in 2015 that could be potentially totally covered by my insurance. So, the gears are grinding now...so much to talk to B about, including the $2,500 bill from the hospital that is coming our direction...

QOTW: Sane?!?! I am no where close to that... but I try to keep myself busy with planning trips, crocheting, and reading. B has no worries in the world, she is very laid back, so she just does her thing.

[Stringy]

Had IUI yesterday, as was updated in last week's thread. No trigger, it turned out. I talked to my doctor while I was there about next cycle (how's that for optimism?) and maybe adding clomid. By I have to travel to the west coast for a conference mid-cycle and it might interfere with monitoring. We only have one vial left if this one doesn't work. We can get more, but gawd, I'll have blown thru 9 at that point. Thats a lot of money.

QOTW: Well, TTC #2 is so different than #1. My wife hasn't been involved as much. I went to my IUI alone yesterday cuz otherwise we have to bring a toddler and its a 30 minute drive. We've been really busy with work and the toddler lately (who has been kind of a PITA) and so I don't think TTC is on her brain as much as mine. I've been on and off pretty depressed at times. We don't get much sleep, I'm not doing well concentrating at work, my kid has entered the terrible 2's and has a meltdown when I leave every morning, and our relationship is fine, but we never see each other or spend time together alone. I downloaded a meditation app, but the only free/alone time is on my commute and I don't know if that is the best idea to do. Anyone else meditate or anything like that? I am just starting to explore it.

[Stringy]

shemarie82, sorry insurance and money is getting in the way of things. That's the worst.

[RM80]

As most know, bfn last cycle for me. I'm feeling pretty crummy about it- I had a rough week of testing and I was feeling pretty positive this was the cycle for us. I tested out my trigger I thought, then on Wed (10dpiui) I tested and got a squinter bfp, all was followed my bfn's the rest of the week and AF arrived yesterday. So either a really late trigger positive or a chemical, not really sure.

Thanks to everyone who weighed in on my conundrum. I decided to not cycle this time so I'm taking a month off. I'm not thrilled by this but I know I only have one month left of IUI that we're fully committed to and want it to count. I'm about 90% sure I could have convinced my wife into a 4th cycle so we could try this month too, but I decided if I'm going to try to convince her into addition tries, I want to save the 4th for the hopefully new protocol.

Also trying to decide if I want to try to work on her more to try another IVF (my eggs this time), but I'm just not sure if I can get her to agree, we set a firm stop point but I'm just not ready and she is... Guess we'll see.

[kh826]

Sending lots of hugs and support to those who need it this week!

I took my last BCP yesterday, and I am still on Lupron injections (day 8). Now I wait for my "light Lupron bleed" in the next couple of days and then I go in for an u/s and bloodwork to determine when to start the Estradiol. That's about it at the moment... everything else is about the same. Still on target for an FET in Early May.

QOTW: Last time I ate and slept to relieve my TTC stress HAHA. I am trying to not stress eat (or Lupron eat!) this time, but it is hard. I also don't sleep much, and with a little one at home naps and/or plopping on the couch at the end of the work day just is not an option. So far there hasn't been much to stress about other than feeling a tad icky from the meds, though. I think J and I are in a good place, so we will provide each other support that we need as TTC#2 progresses (I hope!)

[wittyandwaiting]

So today is 1dpiui. It looks like my LH was actually surging when we did the trigger shot. So that makes me feel great about the timing. I'm trying to be uber zen but it's only day one so what knows. The RE I saw from another clinic (a partner facility) and I know somebody else who got pregnant when he did their insem so I'm calling that good mojo.

QOTW: I participate here, that definitely helps. I also try to celebrate other things that are going well in my life but seriously, I'm not sure if I am staying sane. My partner tries very hard to be supportive, and has even asked me what I need but to be honest I really don't know. She has taken me out for many BFN dinners and is a pretty good sounding board. Now that it's not miserable out, I'm going to make an effort to actually be more active which might take the edge off.

@shemarie - I don't understand what EOB means but I'm sorry that things (life, money, crap, etc.) are getting in the way. Hopefully you get a break from some of this BS soon.

Stringy - hey two week wait partner! I'm sending you all sorts of good vibes and mojo. Hopefully we get some awesome betas together. What are you testing plans?

RM80 - I am so sorry about this months BFN. Your plan sounds like a good one! I know it's tough, but enjoy your month off, drink if you want to, don't count cycle days and hopefully your meeting with your RE results in a great new protocol a future positive beta!

kh826 - happy to hear that things are going well and are on track!

[mahler5]

Our update yesterday from RE told us we have 12 eggs graded at a one and a couple at a 2 and a couple at a 3 or 4. I kind of stopped listening when she said we had 12 graded at a 1. I couldn't believe it.

So we are excited and hopeful right now. Hopefully everything will go smoothly at our fresh transfer tomorrow afternoon.

Good luck to everyone in the TWW. FX for everyone! I hope everyone taking a break or postponing things are doing ok.

QOTW--I've definitely been eating more or at least more bad food this month. At first the estrogen made me not want to eat as much. That's gone now and the progesterone is making me constipated. Has anyone had to take progesterone vaginal depositories AND IM shots?
I have to do an IM of progesterone every other day for the rest of the cycle which seems over the top to me. But I digress.

I try to take a walk with the dogs and the 1 yr old every day. I used to meditate some but like Stringy said it's hard to find time to with a toddler. I should do it when she naps but I get on the internet or study. I used to do it in a group setting through a church which was helpful because it was more guided and I could focus better. I tend to not be very disciplined when I do it myself. But it's still helpful even then.

[Stringy]

Good luck with the transfer mahler5,

wittyandwaiting, Lately I've just been waiting to see if I get my period. I told them I'd call rather than go in for a beta. I could change my tune and test, but not until pretty late in the game - I've seen enough one-liners to not get my hopes up.

You?

[wittyandwaiting]

Stringy - I'm booked for a Beta on April 26 but I might bump it up to April 25 so that I can sleep in on the Sunday. My RE doesn't let you wait it out because she wants your donor units at the clinic by CD3. C is anti-POAS so we likely won't do that even though I already want to POAS every day.

Eta:

mahler5 - those sound like amazing numbers! The amazing dozen! Good luck!

[RM80]

@mahler- awesome eggos! Hope tomorrow goes well!

Fingers crossed for you @whittyandwaiting and Stringy this cycle!!

[cetcar]

Thinking of you all where ever you are in the process. Every stage seems to be filled with such a mix of emotions.

As I think we've already mentioned, last cycle was a BFN. It was our second medicated IUI. We tested our the trigger then used the target brand stick on 11/12dpiui and it had a squinter but then when we tried the first response it was stark white where the second line would be. That brand doesn't mess around. (I think we may have already mentioned this before....I keep forgetting what we've told to who).

We spoke with our coordinator on Friday afternoon to learn more about different options to potentially improve our chances. Asked about using injectable medication, what the difference was (guess it functions similarly to clomid but improves the quality of the eggs), additional monitoring, and what they think our next steps should be. She was out on vacation yesterday but is going to check with our doctor. Hopefully we'll hear something today. Yesterday was cd1.

[wittyandwaiting]

Sorry about CD1 cetcar. Hope that your RE has a plan to increase your chances when you hear back.

[shemarie82]

Apr 13, 2015 12:41:46 GMT -5 wittyandwaiting said:

So today is 1dpiui. It looks like my LH was actually surging when we did the trigger shot. So that makes me feel great about the timing. I'm trying to be uber zen but it's only day one so what knows. The RE I saw from another clinic (a partner facility) and I know somebody else who got pregnant when he did their insem so I'm calling that good mojo.

QOTW: I participate here, that definitely helps. I also try to celebrate other things that are going well in my life but seriously, I'm not sure if I am staying sane. My partner tries very hard to be supportive, and has even asked me what I need but to be honest I really don't know. She has taken me out for many BFN dinners and is a pretty good sounding board. Now that it's not miserable out, I'm going to make an effort to actually be more active which might take the edge off.

@shemarie - I don't understand what EOB means but I'm sorry that things (life, money, crap, etc.) are getting in the way. Hopefully you get a break from some of this BS soon.

It is the explanation of benefits from the insurance company. Basically showing what they have covered and what I will still owe. We scheduled our home visit for our foster care license for next week, so that is some positive in the mess of stress...though it adds a whole other level of stress as well.

[esquette]

Not much to report this week. We had a "baby meeting" today. We've been thinking about our donor options for like a month, and even though it's gonna be expensive and maybe a little complex, we've decided to go with a sperm bank. Ultimately, we value our friendship with the couple we were going to ask, and we don't want to do anything to complicate that. Also, we worry that we'll look down and see our friend when we look at our kids, and that's not what we want.

So... On to banks! We are thinking of trying during my cycle in June. Eeeeek! That's really soon all of sudden. We need to pick a bank and pick a donor and get the paperwork done. Hooray! Forward motion feels good. And slightly terrifying? Also, I just looked up childcare costs in our area and jeebus. It's like a third of my paycheck. And I make a decent amount of money for a millennial. How does anybody afford children?

[cetcar]

esquette, How exciting that you're gearing up towards starting to try!

wittyandwaiting, Thanks! You're always so supportive. My day 3 appointment today went pretty well. We're going to try using Gonal this cycle. Will start tomorrow evening. The doctor thought it was definitely worth it- guess it improves your chances by 10-15% each time you try. We'll have some extra monitoring (ultrasounds and blood work) and use a different kind of progesterone at the end- it's a capsule that you insert in the morning and evening, has less discharge, etc and is cheaper. We'll see what happens this time around....

[wittyandwaiting]

Apr 14, 2015 22:48:00 GMT -5 esquette said:

How does anybody afford children?

Ha! I wonder this all the time and mine's 13. It gets more affordable when they are out of daycare, when they are daycare aged you're too tired/busy to have a social life so that social fund becomes the childcare fund. Some days you may consider selling a kidney.

esquette, I'm happy to hear you've figured some things out and June is so soon!

cetcar - Thanks! What's your dose of Gonal? This cycle was my first with Gonal (hopefully my last ) and injectable a were not as scary as I expected.

[esquette]

External processing ahead:

Okay, so now that we've decided to use a bank, we have to pick a bank. Sperm Bank of CA is the obvious choice, because everybody loves them, low family limits, etc. But it would be almost 1000$ a month to use them, and I feel like any money we spend getting a baby is money we don't have for the baby. Does that make sense? So I'm looking at a bank that's local to us (the only one in Colorado) and aside from the costs and family limits, I have no idea how to evaluate them. They purport to be LGBT-friendly. There aren't very many reviews online, but the one's I can find (that aren't jokes about bad yogurt, urg) are all positive. What should I ask them when I call? Help?

TLDR: How do I find out if a smaller bank is a good one?

[Stringy]

Apr 15, 2015 21:18:22 GMT -5 esquette said:

External processing ahead:

Okay, so now that we've decided to use a bank, we have to pick a bank. Sperm Bank of CA is the obvious choice, because everybody loves them, low family limits, etc. But it would be almost 1000$ a month to use them, and I feel like any money we spend getting a baby is money we don't have for the baby. Does that make sense? So I'm looking at a bank that's local to us (the only one in Colorado) and aside from the costs and family limits, I have no idea how to evaluate them. They purport to be LGBT-friendly. There aren't very many reviews online, but the one's I can find (that aren't jokes about bad yogurt, urg) are all positive. What should I ask them when I call? Help?

TLDR: How do I find out if a smaller bank is a good one?

Find out what tests they do on their donors. Genetic tests, infectious disease tests, etc. You can compare their list to other bigger places that list things online.  Find out their family limit. Find out how and if they keep in touch with donors in the future.  For examples, TSBC says that they keep contact info up to date and try to keep lines of communication open so if the donor has a health issue that would be important for donor families to know - they can be updated.  How long have the been in business? Who's running it? Do they offer willing to be known donor's (if that is what you want)?

FWIW I used TSBC, and it wasn't $1000 a month. Are you doing at home insems? Then it might if you ship every month. But we ordered a whole bunch at once (like 10) and shipped half of them and our doctors office kept them there.  Then we only had to pay shipping twice.  That said, I just used vial #9, so thats...way too much money and potentially more if it doesn't work soon.

[cetcar]

Apr 15, 2015 21:18:22 GMT -5 esquette said:

External processing ahead:

Okay, so now that we've decided to use a bank, we have to pick a bank. Sperm Bank of CA is the obvious choice, because everybody loves them, low family limits, etc. But it would be almost 1000$ a month to use them, and I feel like any money we spend getting a baby is money we don't have for the baby. Does that make sense? So I'm looking at a bank that's local to us (the only one in Colorado) and aside from the costs and family limits, I have no idea how to evaluate them. They purport to be LGBT-friendly. There aren't very many reviews online, but the one's I can find (that aren't jokes about bad yogurt, urg) are all positive. What should I ask them when I call? Help?

TLDR: How do I find out if a smaller bank is a good one?

I agree with Strings about checking and asking what testing they do to compare.  We used Pacific Reproductive Services (located in Pasadena and San Fransisco).  They're slightly smaller, but are lesbian owned and run.  We've felt good about their level of service, they do all the testing, and their prices slightly undercut some of the big banks.  Our vials so far have all been significantly above their minimums and our RE hasn't had any complaints.  They ship nationwide.

When we started looking, we looked at several places.  It also may come down to you liking a donor profile and going from there.  Good luck!

[RM80]

Apr 15, 2015 21:18:22 GMT -5 esquette said:

External processing ahead:

Okay, so now that we've decided to use a bank, we have to pick a bank. Sperm Bank of CA is the obvious choice, because everybody loves them, low family limits, etc. But it would be almost 1000$ a month to use them, and I feel like any money we spend getting a baby is money we don't have for the baby. Does that make sense? So I'm looking at a bank that's local to us (the only one in Colorado) and aside from the costs and family limits, I have no idea how to evaluate them. They purport to be LGBT-friendly. There aren't very many reviews online, but the one's I can find (that aren't jokes about bad yogurt, urg) are all positive. What should I ask them when I call? Help?

TLDR: How do I find out if a smaller bank is a good one?

Sorry- I forget, are you working with an RE? I would ask them them what they think as well, especially being a local bank I bet they have an opinion.  Ours gave us a list of banks they liked to work with.  I noticed not all the big banks were on there and when I asked why, they told us they have had issues with either quality, shipping, customer service, etc.  I didn't ask much as the one we wanted to use was on the list, but they might be a good resource to ask as well.

[cetcar]

wittyandwaiting, 150 units for 4 days. Glad to hear they weren't as scary as your anticipated. Fingers and toes crossed that this is your first and last with Gonal!

[cetcar]

wittyandwaiting, p.s. how much did you take?

[wittyandwaiting]

cetcar I was on 37.5 per day for 7 days. It's funny how every RE has their own protocol.

[cetcar]

wittyandwaiting, It is. It's so interesting. Makes me want to be an IVF coordinator, but that would require quite a bit more school.....

[esquette]

RM80, Stringy, cetcar,

Not working with an RE yet, wanting to try at home insems for a few months, before jumping into the big (see: really expensive) procedures. It won't be covered by my insurance, so we might as well try at home for a while. Plus, I think that Sweetie wants to have a more active role in the process, if she can. I'm seeing my OB in a month, to get a clean bill of health before we start.

Anyway, I sent the bank an email with lots of questions, and I'm excited to see how they respond. Maybe I'll make a post and copy/paste their answers in, to crowd-source our opinion making process. :-)

Thanks so much all! Its great to have such an amazing resource while we wade through this stuff.

[PiradicalMaid]

esquette, there was a home birth midwife in our area who worked with a sperm bank and offered counseling on at home insemination. I live in a home birth friendly, queer friendly area, so IDK if something like that might be a resource for you, but you could ask around?

[wittyandwaiting]

esquette, The system is pretty different here, (it's illegal to pay somebody for their biological donations) so the banks we have here provide samples from a few US and perhaps one European bank. We asked our RE their opinion and then looked at all the banks for a donor we liked and went with that bank.

[dannigirl]

Planning is all that's been happening this week.

AF came a few days early, so that threw us into a tailspin, so we had get a hold of our RE and decide where we were going for our follicle tracking. Turns out the place we went to last year is starting to miss info that the RE requires, so they have had to send their patients back for another ultrasound, and since I don't want to take anything to chance and I can't be taking a bunch of days off, we are going to drive the 4 hours to our RE for the 15 min ultrasound! UGH!!

Ah well!! I would rather it be done right the first time. So next week all the fun begins again.

[cetcar]

Ummm......so we can't speak from experience but a friend sent us a link to this product (don't think she's used it either) but one of its advertised uses is for at home inseminations. We've been going to a clinic so didn't look into it at all but thought I'd share.

thesemenette.com/whatis.html