Monday Checkin - 4/13

[eaglewife]

Hi everyone - how are you doing? how was your weekend? anything new you want to share?

[eaglewife]

Apr 13, 2015 13:03:19 GMT -5 unringthebell said:

Hello! Weekend was good. LO enjoyed the nice weather yesterday we spent a lot of time outside.
Today I went to the gym for the first time in a couple weeks (I had a sinus infection and bronchitis so I had to take it easy for a bit). My workout kicked my butt.
Tomorrow I have my beta follow up and some repeat loss blood work. Fingers crossed my level is 0 so they can schedule my saline ultrasound so I can figure out if I do have a septum or bicornuate ute.

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

I was wondering do we need to figure out culture for the board while we are still small? Like what is OK to mention, do we expect signature warnings or content warnings for anything?

Hooray for a good weekend unringthebell! Ew on the SI and Bronchitis Hopefully you are past all of that! Kudos on getting to the gym.


We had a good weekend as well. I did a ton of cleaning, an hour on the treadmill each day (walking without too much strain with a bit of running).

It's really interesting to hear how everyone's doctors are handling followup. My OB didn't draw blood at my 2 week post-op check up. He is waiting until I come in for an ultrasound after my next cycle. They haven't used the term "saline" but I wonder if they are the same thing unringthebell.

@enchanted mentioned that we can make a sticky with rules, we just have to do it and ask to have it pinned.

[fabk]

My weekend was boring. Ha.
I haven't been allowed to do much. Rest, eat, relax. Repeat.
I am doing bloodwork weekly until hCg goes back to zero. I follow up with the Dr in three or so weeks.

As for do's and don'ts of the board, nothing really bothers me. The only thing that should be big no nos are bullying/insulting etc. I want to hear about everyone's amazing children and I also want them to feel free to wonder about the ones they lost.

[leahks77]

Hi ladies. Ugh. I am not having a great day. I'm feeling pretty letdown by my MW/OB office and I'm not really sure how to proceed. Well, I am fairly sure I need to find a new practice, but I don't even know where to start. Maybe you can tell me if I'm being a crazy person? (And please do, I will take it)
So, I just experienced a chemical pregnancy. We had a MMC in November. No HB at 11wks, baby stopped growing at 8wks. This time, I had a positive HPT (actually, 5, I tested until the test line was darker than the control) on 3/28. No signs of anything wrong until I started spotting on 4/9. I should have been 5wks 2days by O date (I temp). I called and went in for betas. The nurse called with results (not my MW) and told me they couldn't say anything because they were positive, but I would have to come back in on Saturday and they would have results today (Monday). I asked for the number and she said 12. 12. There is NO WAY that HCG 12 days after a positive pregnancy test could be 12, and be a viable pregnancy. I'm glad I asked, because I would have spent Thursday to Monday just wondering and hoping? So I knew it was over, started accepting it. Still got my labs Saturday, and the nurse called me again today. Again, not an OB or my MW. And told me my numbers were at zero so I could start to try again whenever. I told her I'm still not really bleeding (spotting a little, had one day of light bleeding Thursday) and wanted to know when I should expect a period. She kept saying "in a month, when you would normally get one". I kept explaining that that would make sense if I had experienced one now? But I haven't. She kept putting me on hold and going to ask the OB, but I still never talked to anyone else. Finally she said my MW told her if I haven't had a period in a week I can call back. Am I being crazy that I just feel so ignored? That I know it was "just a chemical pregnancy" (the nurse's words) but that I spent 12 days thinking I was pregnant and I'm sad? That maybe my MW could have called me herself? This is my second loss in 6 months. I know they are different kinds and probably just shitty luck, but am I crazy to want them to be a little more proactive? If not now, then if/when we try to conceive again? Or is this the normal interaction? In other questions, is this a normal chemical pregnancy? If my levels are zero, should I maybe be bleeding more?
Blah... I'm so sorry this got so long. I'm just feeling so frustrated. In other news, the weather is gorgeous and DS and I spent so much time in the sun and that was lovely and distracting.
Thank you for reading! I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend as much as possible in our different crappy situations. I'm so impressed unringthebell and eaglewife with both of you working out I will be following in your footsteps soon. Have a nice Monday ladies!

[leahks77]

unringthebell I think I will follow this through there and then start looking. They didn't check my progesterone, which I will ask for (with an ultrasound) if nothing has happened in a week. And while I am there, I'll tell them why I'm leaving. I also realized that at no point did stupid nurse ever say "I'm sorry for your loss". Jerk. I take this extra seriously, because I am a nurse. And I love my job and my profession. Even as crappy as this weekend was, I went to work Friday and Sunday because my hospital was short and I didn't want my patients to have crappy care. It pisses me off when people give my profession a bad name. Thank you for your response!

[jmc11511]

Hi all, weekend was ok.

DH arrived home on Saturday morning while DS and I were out grocery shopping. We spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and then went to church Saturday night. I usually play on Sunday's at church but had taken this Sunday off. We went to IKEA. Aside from DS being a pill (who knew he wouldn't be entertained by IKEA) it was fine. We also bought some new frames for our walls and had some photos printed. I can't wait to get them up.

Overall I'm ok. I should be getting AF this week. I'm hoping for it because I think I will feel like my body is doing what it's supposed to do. My first period after the MC was 21 days long...

[soultrane]

I had a mostly terrible day because of some ignorance at my OBs office. Within a half hour, I was asked if I was pregnant, accidentally (I hope) hung up on, and then basically yelled at by a nurse over the phone because I didn't come for my appointment that I had already cancelled with another nurse. The bedside manner was severely lacking but up until today they have been wonderful so I don't know if I just won the shitty employee lottery today or what. This was all while I was having terrible cramps, so that's cool too.

I'm still bleeding and the cramping increased again today, so I'm not sure if I've passed everything yet or not. I have a D&C on the books for Friday in case I need it, so I'm expecting to go back to the doctor again tomorrow to check things out.

On a brighter note, it's finally a beautiful day here so DS was able to play outside with his t-ball set this afternoon and ride his tricycle for a bit. He had a lot of fun so that improved my mood considerably.

[soultrane]

Oh, and as far as culture, I personally would love it if this was a space where we can mention everything from losses to BFPs to successes to the crazy things our current LOs say and do to keep us entertained...and everything in between. I understand if others may not be as comfortable with EVERYTHING being within limits though.

[leahks77]

soultrane I'm so sorry you also experienced idiocy at your OB's office. I feel like people should be well trained in extra sensitivity for these situations, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I hope that you get answers at the dr tomorrow and don't need the d&c. Will be thinking of you!
As far as culture goes, I may be feeling extra sensitive today. I feel like a lot of the CAL rules as far as BFPs could apply. I know right now I am struggling with OPPs. That might make me a shittier person, and for that I am sorry. But maybe in the case of BFPs and pregnancies, people could move to PAL or CAR... I feel like when this board was invented it was talked about as a safe place for people with a recent loss and living children, acknowledging that PAL is full of bumps and babies and is just too hard when losses are fresh... But if people don't agree with this I can suck it up, haha. Just my two cents

[mrsred09]

We had a great weekend. Took DS to a water park for the first time and he loved every minute of it. We also went and checked out a kiddy gym place so he can get some kid socialization that he needs. Since he is not in daycare and we have not found a fun playgroup, we are going to try this out. (On a side note, anyone here home school? If so can you please explain to me why your play groups won't let anyone except home schooled children join? Like my son is not even 2, and we have tried to join 3 different play groups and told since we don't and won't home school we can't be part of the group!)

As far of the culture, I am open to everything except bullying. I would like to see this as a group that can support those when they are down and celebrate when great things happen. BFPs can sting a bit, but I'm one who wants to look beyond my personal issues and support and celebrate those who need it. I'm hopeful that I will get a BFP soon and would want my friends, Internet and real life, to help me through the loss momma brain. I get that is what PAL is for, but they would be strangers the first few weeks when I am sure I would be the craziest and want something familiar. I
Very open to the rules and just want to be apart of something that I can mention my son and not unintentionally hurt someone.

[leahks77]

mrsred09 We joined two playgroups with DS (20mos). One is through Boston Public Schools, so the public school system in your area might have something similar if you call them? The other is through a place called the Family Nurturing Center. I wasn't sure what I would think of it (just found it online) but we love it! Both are free, which is nice. We also do a Toddler Time at a local library which is more like a playgroup. They do a play time, circle time, story, and an art project. It is run by Early Intervention but open to the public. And the women who run it are INCREDIBLE. DS looooooves that one. Maybe one of those would be available in your area as well?

[mrsred09]

@leajks77 unfortunately the school system here has nothing organized for children younger than 4. Good suggestion about the library, I didn't think checking there.

[jmc11511]

Totally forgot to address the culture. I guess maybe warnings for BFP would be nice. Some days OPPs don't bother me, some days they do. Everything else aside from obvious no bullying/bashing/ganging up on is good in my book. I feel like this was created to be a place where we can talk about our LC. I don't have experience having a loss without having a LC so I can't speak to that, but it is easier to relate to people going through the same thing and being free to talk or vent about it.

[salsawifey]

Hello.  Our weekend was nice.  I didn't get the house cleaning done that I wanted to do but it was put off for good reason.  The weather was so nice, I took the boys outside to enjoy some much missed sunshine.  Just playing in the yard and riding bikes and rollerblades in the driveway - nothing too exciting but we still enjoyed every second.  My oldest had hockey both days and then on Saturday night we hung out with some friends that have 3 girls.  We had a great time. 

[fabk]

leahks77, I would follow up. My HCG had dropped significantly, but my egg/mass whatever had actually grown. Granted I wasn't dealing with a chemical pregnancy, but if I have learned anything this time around, it is to trust your gut instinct.

[eaglewife]

Guys, I'm so grumpy and irritable. I am having a really hard time even tolerating myself. I hate these mental roller coasters.

[muirmaid]

Apr 14, 2015 10:08:58 GMT -5 eaglewife said:

Guys, I'm so grumpy and irritable. I am having a really hard time even tolerating myself. I hate these mental roller coasters.

I'm sorry you're having a rough morning. Being in a bad mood is so miserable, and it's so hard to get beyond that feeling when there's the extra layer of being aware of and frustrated by the mood itself. Hope your roller coaster takes a turn for the better soon. Tackle hug.

[eaglewife]

Apr 14, 2015 10:23:56 GMT -5 muirmaid said:

Apr 14, 2015 10:08:58 GMT -5 eaglewife said:

Guys, I'm so grumpy and irritable. I am having a really hard time even tolerating myself. I hate these mental roller coasters.

I'm sorry you're having a rough morning. Being in a bad mood is so miserable, and it's so hard to get beyond that feeling when there's the extra layer of being aware of and frustrated by the mood itself. Hope your roller coaster takes a turn for the better soon. Tackle hug.

Thanks, muirmaid, It's been the last few days. I have misophonia and EVERYTHING is grating on it. I know it's me and I am doing a good job of not griping at everyone for all the noises, but I wish this ish didn't bother me. I wish I knew exactly where the hormone levels were on these bad days. It feels like I'm at the bottom of the coaster or something. Hopefully they are PMS-y type feelings and AF is on her way.

I've vaccuumed the heck out of the downstairs and started on the stairs. Successful meeting and headed back to vacuuming in a few. Furious cleaning helps fight fury, it seems.

[muirmaid]

Monday check-in, schmonday check-in. Sorry for being late to the thread.

Hi, leahks77, mrsred09, soultrane, jmc11511, and salsawifey. I think the rest of you I know already. I had an unexpected BFP when DS was 7 months old and miscarried around 8 weeks. That was over a year ago, and I'm really struggling to be around pregnant women right now because my whole body just aches to be carrying another child.

My weekend was mostly nice. We drove up to MIL's house (about two hours away) and had a good time hanging out with DH's family. Visits to her house always come with a date night and free babysitting, which is great. I feel really behind on house stuff, though, because weekends are for laundry and grocery shopping and all those other things that seem insurmountable on weekdays. It's a trade-off, I guess.

[eaglewife]

Totally fine to check in today muirmaid - I'm not sure if we should do daily check in threads, spam threads daily\weekly, or what.

[eaglewife]

And the house stuff will always wait. Let it just wait until you are ready to deal with it. I tell myself that socializing and getting out is more important than regular vacuuming and deep cleaning. Especially with the older generations. I feel morbid saying it, but they won't be with us forever. We need to spend as much time with them as we can (and want to) while they are here.