QOTD 4/17

[redfraggle]

Would you ever consider donating your eggs? Would you be ok with your H donating sperm? Would it matter if you knew the recipient or not?

[happymama]

That's a tough question. I don't think I would have any problem with DH donating sperm. And, in theory, I have no problem with any of it. However, after experiencing pregnancy and motherhood, I don't think I could ever be a gestational carrier or donate my eggs. If it were anonymous, I would always be wondering about the kids out there with my DNA. And if it were for someone I knew and loved very well, I think it would be tough for me to stay hands off and not try to be the third parent. I also am pretty certain that I could never be a gestational carrier. I bonded so strongly with DD early in my pregnancy, I just don't see how I could think of that baby as not being mine and hand them over to someone else at birth. It would just be too painful. I'll never say never, but that's how I feel now.

[Unknown]

If I had left over embryos from IVF I would donate them, but I wouldn't go out of my way to donate my eggs. Of course I don't know if anybody would want my old ass eggs anyway.

[mommabakes]

This is a really tough question for me. I would have a super hard time with it, personally, because I think I would struggle with the fact that there is a child out there with my/DHs dna. It would be really hard to not think of that child as mine or DHs. I don't think I could do it.

[Deleted]

When I know for sure that we are done building our family, I will consider donating any unused embryos (if any are left) because I rather see them get a chance at life rather than be destroyed.

However, I am NOT okay with donating my eggs (I will never again go through the stimming process - not that I had a bad experience, I just don't want to go through that again with all the injections and blood work and scans and having my ovaries feel like bowling balls). And I am NOT okay with DH donating sperm - it feels a little too much like cheating (just without the sex) to me, which is also why when his SAs were less than desirable and he mentioned using donor sperm if we needed to, I flat out told him no, that I would rather adopt than have a child who was only half of us - it was all or none for me.

I also do not think I would be strong enough to be a gestational carrier for someone either.

[sugarkissed]

Apr 17, 2015 9:35:53 GMT -5 mommabakes said:

This is a really tough question for me. I would have a super hard time with it, personally, because I think I would struggle with the fact that there is a child out there with my/DHs dna. It would be really hard to not think of that child as mine or DHs. I don't think I could do it.

This basically sums it up for me too.  I'd feel too much of a need to be a part of the child's life.  

[joi922]

I have a lot of respect for ladies willing to donate eggs or couples willing to donate embryos. It's not an easy decision (or procedure). And knowing two women with DOR who needed that kind of assistance to have a family, I know how important those donations are to some families.

But, I don't think I could do it. I just don't think I could ever stop wondering whether there were any kids with my DNA running around that I didn't know about. I would just have too much of a need to be a part of their lives, to see how they're doing, etc. Same for my husband's sperm - I'd always be wondering about the (potential) kids.

[marley629]

I donated when I was 25. I had thought long and hard about it. I was not in a position where I was ready to have children of my own yet and was not sure if I ever would to be honest. I wanted to help someone who was ready. I don't know if my egg donation resulted in pregnancy. That was part of the process. I have zero regrets and would do it again but I am too old now (almost 33). My SO is ok with me having done that in the past. I don't know how he wos feel if I was able to now. I would be ok with him donating sperm.

[junewife]

Apr 17, 2015 10:19:24 GMT -5 joi922 said:

I have a lot of respect for ladies willing to donate eggs or couples willing to donate embryos. It's not an easy decision (or procedure). And knowing two women with DOR who needed that kind of assistance to have a family, I know how important those donations are to some families.

But, I don't think I could do it. I just don't think I could ever stop wondering whether there were any kids with my DNA running around that I didn't know about. I would just have too much of a need to be a part of their lives, to see how they're doing, etc. Same for my husband's sperm - I'd always be wondering about the (potential) kids.

This.

I might consider it for my best friend or my brother if they really needed me to.

[redfraggle]

After my miscarriage, I picked up a pamphlet on egg donation but ultimately decided it wasn't the right choice for me. I'd be really uncomfortable with DH donating sperm, mostly because I'd be worried one of my kids would meet that kid and want to marry them. I don't know that it makes a difference whether we knew the recipient or not.