Article Writing Callout - Choosing a Donor & Queer Pregnancy

[manada]

Hi Guys,

I'm on the volunteer content writing team for TCF and I am going to put together a couple of pieces for submission.   I wanted to put a call-out to you guys to see if there's anything you think should definitely be included about these topics, because I can speak from our experience & knowledge, but I want to also be inclusive.  

One of the topics I've gotten is on Choosing A Donor -- and what goes into that, and the other will be a general experience piece about LGBTQ Pregnancy/Parenting - I think for that one I am going to focus on the being a non-gestational parent in a family when your partner is carrying - as I have experience with both sides of that coin.

In terms of choosing a donor, I'm planning to talk about the following:
- Choosing a Sperm Bank & Navigating their systems
- Open-ID vs. Non-Open ID
- Known vs. Anonymous donation
- Blood Type & CMV status considerations
- Genetic considerations (ie. genetic testing of anonymous sperm)
- Social Considerations (Physical description, racial/cultural stuff)
- Buying sperm in bulk vs. single vials.
- (choosing an egg donor?  I don't know much about this process myself, aside from the basics - but I think I will try to touch on it if there is space)

Anything else?

Otherwise, if any other non-GP want to chat about things that would be good to talk about in the other piece, I'd be happy to do so!  

[megd893]

Very cool manada Can't wait to read your submissions!

Only thing K and I talked about was nature vs. nurture with our donor. Things like:
- We know education is important. So how important is what he does for a living?
- We're athletic, so how important is it that the donor was athletic?
- I'm artsy, do I want our donor to have an appreciation for the arts?

My cousin felt VERY strongly about education especially when choosing her donor - and K and I felt that it would be something we could instill in him. So where do you fall on the spectrum of "whats important"?

[manada]

megd893 - I'm not sure for myself, I was pretty aware during the process of choosing someone that it was self-reported, so I tended to focus more on physical characteristics. I think for us, we narrowed the field pretty quickly with our physical questions, and our cultural background stuff (I am part Aboriginal so we wanted someone with some Indigenous background) - that we ended up choosing the donor we thought we would like the best if we met them in person -- the photos and the essays were a big thing for us, and voice recordings made a difference for some of them too

[megd893]

Yeah - we went with health first and foremost, then appearance. We're both olive skinned/medium complexion with brown hair brown eyes. SO we wanted to choose someone who carried those traits back generations in hopes that we'll get a boy who looks like us both After that it came down to liking his answers about family, and his essay questions. The photos are awesome to have - but I made K promise we wouldnt show anyone. Thats just for us to know.

Funny how things arent important until they are. Like their voice! "I dont care how he SOUNDS..." then you hear him and go "ummm, no. next!" haha

[RM80]

Can't wait to read the piece!

I think just in our small group we've shown how many different considerations there are and everyone ranks things differently!

[wittyandwaiting]

Hey manada, I think that is awesome. I'm looking forward to reading your submission(s). I feel like you've got it all covered! Perhaps known donor vs bank? Perhaps that's a whole different piece!

[Stringy]

I think we had a great thread on being the non-gestational and/or non-biological parent back on Tb. Or maybe it was here? Or both? But I remember everyone had very different feeling and experiences with it- both during pregnancy and once a baby was born.

[nommo77]

Our audio interview sealed the deal. My partner was concerned with physical trains (similar to hers) and I was interested in schooling and academics, as that's my field! I wanted someone academically well rounded but also high achieving. In the end the audio interviews told us what we needed to know! Some of them sounded arrogant or cocky. Our guy was so sweet and soft spoken. We immediately liked him and his demeanor did remind us of my wife, who is also quieter!