How to do it all??? Yet again

[thesportsgal]

So my 16 month old and I had probably the worst morning we've ever had.  I have been crying basically since she got up and can't stop crying at work.  At times like these, I turn into the most miserable person ever.  The thoughts going through my head are terrible and make me feel so guilty, like how in the world are we going to do this???  If I have days where I can't handle one kid, how in the hell am I going to handle 3??  Why did this happen???  It's all I can think about when we have rough days.  I hate complaining and feeling this way, especially since I know there are a lot more serious issues throughout these boards.  It is such a hard thing to try and be happily pregnant combined with actually feeling pretty miserable and being terrified of this life change.  Once again, you can't find many positive twin experiences on the internet, I don't even know why I bother looking anymore. 

Anyways, like I said, I know this is BS.  People have a lot worse things going on.  I just didn't know where else to get it out and maybe posting it here will prevent me from checking into a hotel after work and screaming at the walls (who am I kidding, that's too much work.  I would just take a long, glorious nap .   

Sorry and thank you. 

[wamom]

We all have hard days. My twins were number 3 & 4. My first two are headstrong and i question my sanity for "trying for 1 more" sometimes.

Just make sure on the hard days you make some me time and it will be ok. :-)

Here is how my day is starting out my 3 year old is whining and doesn't know why. My soon to be two year old has been climbing out of her crib and so I need to get mentally prepared to transition her to her toddler bed. And oh yeah I have 5wk old twins.... I am already feeling overwhelmed.

On the bright side I got the jest real smile from baby boy yesterday...

[thesportsgal]

wamom I know, I hate complaining when I know you have newborn twins and so much going on. Like I said, it felt good to get it out there! I don't think we were meant to have toddlers without wine, you know?

Best of luck, hang in there~!

[anotherdreamer]

Don't feel bad about posting and venting it out! Parenting is hard work, and as you prepare to add more kids it is scary, and the reality is sometimes it is really hard. It's unavoidable. But you take it one day at a time, and you get through it. These days won't last forever, they say "the nights are long but the days are short." Before you know it, they're one, then two, three, etc... and you kind of wonder how it happened.

I think you don't find more positive stories because, well... you savor those moments. We come here to vent, ask questions, sometimes share a funny story/photo, but those awesome moments are so precious we just live in them. I come on here and vent/ask about stuff from time to time, but I don't come on and share as much about how utterly amazing it is watching the three kids playing. Yes there are tiffs to break up, but watching DS play with them, show them things, watching them chase him down, is just so cool. It happens every day and it makes it all worth it. But I'm far more likely to come on here crying because DD1 thinks the crib is lava, or my 3y old DS is trying to kill me, lol. KWIM?

[wamom]

Apr 23, 2015 10:32:43 GMT -5 thesportsgal said:

wamom I know, I hate complaining when I know you have newborn twins and so much going on. Like I said, it felt good to get it out there! I don't think we were meant to have toddlers without wine, you know?

Best of luck, hang in there~!

Toddlers and wine go hand in hand for sure! ;-)

[ashb62]

Being a parent is tough. Some days I'm ready for bedtime by 9 am. Having twins is hard, but it really is so special. I love watching my boys grow together and form such a unique bond. Yesterday, C was crying and T came running over and put his hand on C's back and said, "You okay?" It absolutely melts my heart when they hold hands in the stroller or randomly give each other hugs. The double belly laughs are the best, and so are the double snuggles. They chase each other around the house and just giggle and giggle. They light up when their sister walks in the room and they'll bring her a book and climb in her lap. I mean, in between all of that, they're scaling the furniture and having knock-down, drag-outs over toys we have two of, but there really are so many precious moments.

Honestly, (please, nobody hate me for saying this) I didn't find the newborn phase to be all that difficult. At least, not nearly as difficult as the picture I had built up in my head. My boys have never been great sleepers, but they were pretty content babies. I mean, it wasn't all puppies and rainbows, but it was more manageable than I anticipated. You'll find your groove. Some days will be really hard and some days will be really great, but they'll all be 100% worth it.

[mrsp419]

thesportsgal, don't feel bad at all! This parenting stuff is hard and being pregnant with twins is terrifying sometimes. I was more anxious and nervous than excited my whole pregnancy, and ended up being pleasantly surprised by how much more peaceful it was than I imagined. I agree with ashb62 - the newborn phase with the twins was not as hard as the picture I had in my head. Maybe it is because I had experience with two other kids. Maybe I expected it to be SO terrible that it ended up not living up (or down) to that. Maybe I just had good babies. I would say in a heartbeat that my older kids (3 and 5) are harder than my twins...the twins are just more logistically challenging because there are two of them (I know I could be singing a different tune when they are running in opposite directions). So please don't beat yourself up or doubt your abilities because you are having a rough day with one kid. We ALL have those days (I have them almost daily with 3 year old boy). You can do it!! And you know what- even if you don't know HOW you will do it, know that ultimately you WILL. You just will figure it out because they are your precious kiddos and you will make it work.

[thesportsgal]

anotherdreamer, You're exactly right about the posting negative stuff and sometimes too, I think we don't post positive stories because we see others struggle and don't want to rub it in anyone's faces. Or, we know how quickly it can change so the first rule of baby sleep is DON'T TALK ABOUT BABY SLEEP!!!

ashb62, Maybe it will end up being a positive thing that I have built up the newborn phase so much in my head to be terrible that it won't seem that bad at the time?? My friends and neighbors have been so supportive and I have found the older generation to only say things to me like "what are you going to do?" and "how are you even going to do it?" and every other twin cliche that you get sick of hearing. Unfortunately, I sometimes find myself latching onto those.

mrsp419, I am VERY lucky in that most days, I DO feel like a pretty good mom! I really try not to live with the guilt (don't get me wrong, I still have it) and know deep down I am doing my best. But I also think that's why the bad days hit me SO hard and I can beat myself up over a moment I of course want back (I threw a blueberry at the kitchen wall this morning. WTF is wrong with me??

Thanks all. Hopefully in a year it will be like, what was I ever worried about??

[mrsp419]

thesportsgal, I am sure you are a great mom!!! I think we beat ourselves up because we care so much and want what is best for our kids. Thankfully, kids are SO forgiving and love us all the time, even when we mess up.
And I think the blueberry thing is a bit funny ;-). I am sure I have done much worse!

[thesportsgal]

Apr 23, 2015 18:58:49 GMT -5 mrsp419 said:

thesportsgal, I am sure you are a great mom!!! I think we beat ourselves up because we care so much and want what is best for our kids. Thankfully, kids are SO forgiving and love us all the time, even when we mess up.
And I think the blueberry thing is a bit funny ;-). I am sure I have done much worse!

And I didn't even clean up the spot on the wall, haha!! My husband said it looked like a war zone in the kitchen when he came home. Oops

[bluebonnet22]

thesportsgal - I struggle with the same feelings quite often during this pregnancy. DS is 2.5 and rather strong willed and difficult and I can't even imagine how I will handle 3 ! I feel so overwhelmed some days with just my one kid and then I think how stupid I was for thinking I could handle 2 kids (never imagined I'd get 3!).

Thanks to everyone for the encouragement posted here. Being pregnant when you already have kids is so freaking scary (especially with multiples!).

[thesportsgal]

Apr 24, 2015 5:58:15 GMT -5 bluebonnet22 said:

thesportsgal - I struggle with the same feelings quite often during this pregnancy. DS is 2.5 and rather strong willed and difficult and I can't even imagine how I will handle 3 ! I feel so overwhelmed some days with just my one kid and then I think how stupid I was for thinking I could handle 2 kids (never imagined I'd get 3!).

Thanks to everyone for the encouragement posted here. Being pregnant when you already have kids is so freaking scary (especially with multiples!).

It is TERRIFYING!!  But as I was just telling my mom, all phases end, right?   

This morning, we had a great time so it's nice that things *do* change or get back to "normal".  I appreciate everyone taking the time to respond as I do think it helps SO much to get this stuff off your chest.  Today is a new day and ALL fruit stayed in its' respective areas this morning!  

Have a great day everyone.