Vent: Hit by Unexpected Triggers (LC, not mine, mentioned)

[flutterfly88]

So tonight a group of my friends/high school acquaintances got together for a good-bye dinner, as one of our friends is moving to another country for a year.  I was looking forward to getting together and seeing everyone, but it was harder than I thought. Someone had their baby (born a few months ago) there, and it was torture. Part of it being jealousy. She has the life I wanted. They got pregnant very quickly after their wedding, and now have a healthy baby. There is a part of me screaming "That was supposed to be me!" and I felt the absence of Parker so much tonight. 

As soon as I got in my car I burst into sobbs, and cried the whole 20 min drive home. I probably should have pulled over to cry, but I just needed to get home, and wasn't in the best area to be alone in the dark in my car. I made it home, and the grief that it earlier has mostly passed. I don't even know really why I'm sharing this other than to vent. So thanks if you made it through my pity party post. 

[mosdub]

I'm so sorry. ((hugs)) It sucks when it sneaks up on you like that. Glad you got home safe.

[happyin14]

So many hugs... Sometimes it all just totally sucks. So much.

[littleowl913]

Vent all you want flutterfly88! We're here for you. So many ((hugs)). I felt the same way about my friend whose EDD was 2 weeks after me. I completely broke down when I found out she delivered her baby boy. I should be delivering my son too! I felt like I lost Ronin all over again.

[mrswheelo]

I would feel the same way. I hate when a trigger hits me unexpectedly. We had 4 ppl close to us that were due about the same time as we should have been.March and April have been tough. And I'm jealous every time I see a picture of one of thier babies and think of how uncomplicated their pregnancy was.

[mosdub]

I just had my first random trigger that hit me HARD. A woman I graduated high school with was only a couple weeks behind me and today I was scrolling through facebook and saw a ton of ultrasound pics she posted of her 20 week anatomy scan and gender reveal. I didn't even have time to consciously acknowledge it and I was already ugly crying. I felt bad for crying because I just want to be happy for her (and I am) but it hurt so bad to think that is the parallel reality I could be living. I thought I was being pretty strong when it came to other people's babies and pregnancies but damn. For some reason that one got me.

[blackbird]

May 4, 2015 19:06:25 GMT -5 mosdub said:

I just had my first random trigger that hit me HARD. A woman I graduated high school with was only a couple weeks behind me and today I was scrolling through facebook and saw a ton of ultrasound pics she posted of her 20 week anatomy scan and gender reveal. I didn't even have time to consciously acknowledge it and I was already ugly crying. I felt bad for crying because I just want to be happy for her (and I am) but it hurt so bad to think that is the parallel reality I could be living. I thought I was being pretty strong when it came to other people's babies and pregnancies but damn. For some reason that one got me.

Commenting on & bumping up older threads is frowned upon here bc of potential siggies/triggers. Two of the PPs above have gotten BFPs since commenting on this thread. Please be more mindful of this in the future.


ETA: I have no idea how I posted/got on this board. I was on CAL (mobile) and this thread was showing there. NariaDreaming  maybe some kind of glitch?

[NariaDreaming]

May 5, 2015 7:04:46 GMT -5 blackbird said:

May 4, 2015 19:06:25 GMT -5 mosdub said:

I just had my first random trigger that hit me HARD. A woman I graduated high school with was only a couple weeks behind me and today I was scrolling through facebook and saw a ton of ultrasound pics she posted of her 20 week anatomy scan and gender reveal. I didn't even have time to consciously acknowledge it and I was already ugly crying. I felt bad for crying because I just want to be happy for her (and I am) but it hurt so bad to think that is the parallel reality I could be living. I thought I was being pretty strong when it came to other people's babies and pregnancies but damn. For some reason that one got me.

Commenting on & bumping up older threads is frowned upon here bc of potential siggies/triggers. Two of the PPs above have gotten BFPs since commenting on this thread. Please be more mindful of this in the future.


ETA: I have no idea how I posted/got on this board. I was on CAL (mobile) and this thread was showing there. NariaDreaming  maybe some kind of glitch?

Let me know if it happens again