Weekly Check In - 1/21 & GTKY

[thedish]

Well, since I've had a little feedback on the check in thread I figured let's just start one today!

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To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!

How have things been this week?


Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?

[thedish]

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!

I've struggled with anxiety/depression issues for 6+ years. I started with therapy and when that wasn't doing enough we started on medications about 3 years ago. Sometime in the middle of 2013, my H and I discussed me weaning off my medications (Lexapro and Xanax) so that we could start our family. I felt comfortable with it, as did my doctor, and so I very slowly started the process. When I found out I was pregnant, I still was on a very small dose of the Lexapro and stopped that the day I got my BFP. Since then I've been med-free and hope to continue after baby is born. I am optimistic but trying to stay realistic that this might not be possible with the risk of PPD/PPA.

How have things been this week?
Things are OK. I have not had to leave the house yet this week, so that is a good thing for me. My panic attacks surface when I'm in the car, especially with our cold Wisconsin winters that make me bundle up. I do have to leave to go to the bank today which I am not looking forward to. I will probably just wear a sweater and be cold.

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?
I (surprisingly) am not very anxious about not knowing when baby is coming. This is something new for me, normally I'd be freaking out about not having a plan.

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?
Yellow. Not to get hippie-dippie, but I love the sunshine-yness (new word!) of it and I smile when it's the right shade!

[runnergirl812]

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!


I have anxiety. Right now it's undiagnosed, but I have my first psychologist appointment on Wednesday for a full workup. Really looking for a solution and for her to tell me I'm not going crazy. Not on any mental health medications right now, but do take fioricet, sumatriptan, and daily synthroid for tension headache, chronic migraine, and hypothyroidism. I'm in the process of trying to get my PCP to up my thyroid meds as well since I'm on the lowest dose. Wish me luck!!

How have things been this week? Things are OK. Not great, but not bad either. I'm looking forward to the weekend and spending some time with BF and the kids. It's supposed to rain and get cold again, but at least the last two days have been beautiful and sunny (55-65 degrees).


Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share? I've been struggling lately with motivation to do my job. I LOVE my job, just really don't want to be here or do what I do. My ultimate goal is to eventually work for myself, but that's at least 1-2 years away.


GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why? Periwinkle. It's a nice blend between blue and purple, and both are my favorite colors.

[theholmanherd]

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!
I have chronic general anxiety, severe enough that I get panic attacks regularly. I have OCD as well, which becomes more severe if I'm really anxious or on the verge of panic. I also get severe social anxiety, and have issues in large crowds. I don't currently take medications, but sometimes take a sleeping pill when I have bouts of insomnia. I was given xanax after a severe panic attack landed me in the hospital, but I haven't taken it in over a year.

How have things been this week?
Frequent headaches this week, most likely because of insomnia this week. Super anxious about a big move coming up as well, which means I have to find yet another new therapist.

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?
Daily life is a struggle LOL. But seriously, just moving is my recent struggle.

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?
Cornflower blue. It's always been my favorite crayon color. I always wore that one down the fastest growing up.

[ladyannibal]

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!

I'm 22 years old, I've been suffering from untreated depression since I was 12. I still have suicidal thoughts but I stopped cutting a few months before TTC. That was one of the conditions that my husband brought to me if I wanted a child. I find myself wanting to relapse often but just end up going to bed if I can't take the stress.

How have things been this week?

This week has been terrible and really I'm just exhausted with everything. My good moods last for about an hour before I start spiraling into my depression again.

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?

My life feels like one giant struggle, so no, not really.

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?

I'd be the white crayon because nobody can see me. I exist without really existing.

[olivegoose]

I'm 29 and I have an almost 4 year old daughter and a 1 year old son. I had a severe depressive episode in 2003 when I went away to college (ended up going home). Since then I have been through every SSRI under the sun and was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, seasonal affective disorder, dysthymia, panic disorder, blah blah blah, depending on what different doctors thought when I would switch insurance/move. Currently my diagnosis is generalized anxiety disorder, seasonal affective disorder, and adult ADHD. I was just diagnosed with ADHD a month ago. I've likely battled it my entire life but since I am inattentive instead of hyperactive people just thought I was a daydreamer/spacey. I take Effexor, Strattera, and Xanax.

I recently started group therapy for adults with ADHD and I'm excited about it. The therapist who runs it is supposed to be the best in the area for adult ADHD.

I would be green because I live in a really green area and I can't imagine not being surrounded by trees!

[flcl]

Your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share:
: I've struggled with severe depression, anxiety and panic attacks for, what it seems, my entire life. I've been hospitalized, on various meds and attend therapy on a regular basis. I'm also a cutter but have worked really hard at abstaining since getting my BFP. I also worked with my psychiatrist on weaning after getting that BFP. Pregnancy was rough but, surprisingly, things have been ok since having LO.

How have things been this week?: Not bad, I'm getting a break as my most recent triggers are out of town.

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?
: An accomplishment I would like to share is that this has been my longest stable period ever!! (10 months!) I had a small set back a couple of months back due to the ILs but I'm trying to stay strong and not let them cause me to spiral.

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?: Gray...I feel like I live in a cloudy state of mind most days.

thedish: thanks for starting this.

[mrsb1008]

I'm 31 and was diagnosed with panic disorder with agoraphobia at age 22. I am pretty sure that I've had generalized anxiety since I was a kid as well. But nothing diagnosed there. I was under treatment (Klonopin mostly) for about 3 years after my diagnosis then due to insurance changes I went off my meds. I did well and stayed med free for 2 years or so. I had a huge flair up at that point and went back on meds (this time Zoloft). I did great for another 2 years and this past spring decided with my dr to start weaning and go off meds to prepare for TTC. I hope to be able to stay med free throughout pregnancy but change is a huge trigger for me so I accept that that might not be possible.

I'm doing really well this week. Thankfully I haven't had much ms since vomiting is by far my biggest trigger. I've also been having some cyclical thoughts about something being wrong with the baby because I don't have enough symptoms but I keep telling myself that that doesn't mean anything. And I think this is typical of most FTMs

No struggles right now other than what is mentioned above.

GTKY: I think I'd be Aqua. I've always loved that color and I think it shows my cheery personality.

[Deleted]

My love tits = hi and hugs.

I'm 34 and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about 1 yr after DS was born (so about 2 yrs ago). I'm on Wellbutrin and seeing a psychiatrist, looking for an individual therapist. I'm also in couples therapy (EFT) with DH and have learned a ton about my triggers there. I do yoga regularly and run when weather permits and that helps my mood a lot.

I'm trying to remember all the ?s (on mobile). This week has been kinda low. Shame is a big trigger for me and I've been depressed from having little patience with DS. Today was better.

Recently I went to a large conference out of town and I am prone to social anxiety but I managed it well. Ylang ylang oil helps relieve some anxiety, I got out of crowded rooms when I started feeling anxious, and called it a night early to make sure I had plenty of down time. Oh and I brought a little lavender candle for my room. It went really well!

I'd be forest green; I love the Redwood forest.

[venyia]

I am so glad this board is here and that you all are willing to share your experiences and support.

Your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!

I sort of ran on about some of this in the other thread, but the basics at least are, I am 29, have an 8 month old daughter with my boyfriend. I went through serious teenager depression that carried into my early 20s, and never got far with meds or therapy. I have struggled to reach a place of norms, but I believe the struggles post-pregnancy are making a hash of all my careful constructs. I am in the (slow) process of overcoming myself and getting the help I hope will assist me in righting myself.

How have things been this week?

This week has been rough. My daughter has finally cut her first tooth, but I had no idea what was going on. She hasn't been sleeping much, nor regularly, and I picked up a cold plus migraine from hell for days. I have issues sleeping even on her good nights, and even when I am healthy, so I have just about lost my mind at her. I woke my bf this morning at 6 am after no sleep for me due to restless and now wide awake baby. I was afraid I was about to start yelling at her... and it is in no way her fault. Ugh...

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?

Every day feels like a unique struggle, even when it is the same issues over and over on recycle.

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?.

I hate to admit, I can't puzzle out what GTKY means... but I would be that kitten grey. Soft, overlooked, neutral, but really can smudge everything else up. Useful if you know what you are doing, but usually no one wants you.

[alyssajones]

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!

I have generalized anxiety disorder which manifests itself in depression and panic attacks. My biggest anxiety trigger is being sick or people around me being sick. I've never been medicated but I've been in therapy since 17. I used to cut as a coping mechanism but I've been good for about 6 years now. I still want to cut all the time but I don't want to ruin my streak. My therapist said whatever works.

How have things been thus week?

Things have been good. My therapist returned from maternity leave this week so I can go back to regular sessions.

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?

I'm finding my anxiety is worse during different parts of my cycle. I'm working on figuring out how to handle this knowledge. How can I be prepared without letting it become a self fulfilling prophecy?

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?

Cerulean. It's my favorite colour in the crayon box.

[waffles]

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!
I'm 29. I had my DS when I was 23. I didn't have the instant love for him and spiraled pretty quickly into PPD/PPA. I was worried about being a terrible mother. He pretty much refused to breast feed and I felt like he rejected me, I wasn't good enough, etc. I hid these feelings for a long time. Around his first birthday and I kind of "woke up" and found a way to cope. DS and I have an amazing bond now.

Fast forward to about a year and things started to get bad again. I was sitting in a mall one day, eating pretzels with DS and I started planning where I would go and what I would do if someone opened fire in the mall. I was almost in tears with the "what ifs". That night, someone did open fire in a grocery store in my town, killing two women. If I had to pin point the start, this would be it. I started having these fears more frequently and they really kicked off when DS started K and was no longer home. I held my breath any time the phone rang, sure someone was calling to deliver the news that DS/DP had died. It was overwhelming and I finally made the calls to see a PCP and therapist.

I'm on 10mg of Celexa and have an Rx for Xanax, though I don't think the Xanax really works for me.

How have things been this week?
Things are okay. I am feeling overwhelmed with work, but I'm trying to remember the coping techniques my therapist taught me to help get me through. I do need to call my doctor and see about changing my meds. I've been on them about 3 months and I think my brain has adjusted and is not trying to push above the meds, if that makes sense.

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?
I'm struggling a lot with feeling validated at my job. I'm in a constant cycle of having to fix mistakes and it takes a toll. I'm trying really hard to realize my value and find the love I once had for my job again. The stress is really impacting my ability to function.

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?

Purple. It's my favorite color.

ETA: I have anxiety, depression and OCD

[emmaswan]

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!

I'm 34 (35 in a few months), getting divorced, now single mama to an almost 7 year old girl. Dx with dysthymia in 2010, prescribed Lexapro, did therapy, worked like a charm. Completed therapy in Nov. 2010. Went off Lexapro on a trial basis in 2011 (with doctor supervision) and promptly went off the deep end and had a panic attack that just went on and on and on for three months. Literally. Got back on the Lexapro, took Klonopin as needed for panic attacks (I don't take it anymore, I haven't had a panic attack since 2013) and returned to my therapist. I just increased my Lexapro from 10 to 20 mg a couple of months ago because it was starting to lose its effectiveness. The 20mg seems to help.

How have things been this week?

It's been an okay week. I had counseling yesterday and after talking things through with her, it seems like things are looking up. DD and I just moved out of my sister's house last month and out on our own so it's been a lot less stressful. The only thing that's been tough this week is my fatigue. I've been just completely exhausted, not getting enough sleep, falling asleep at my desk at work...but then when it's time for bed, I can't fall asleep.

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?

My big struggle right now is motivation, health-wise. I gained 40lbs last year because of the stress, depression over the pending divorce, my ex husband's cheating and lying, having to move, starting a new job...I just didn't take care of myself at all. Because of the extra weight, and the typical psychosomatic body aches that come with depression, I am always achy and sore and I use that as an excuse to not move...and then I self-medicate with food. It sucks.

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?
Periwinkle. It's a dusty blue color...and I feel like I'm kind of a dusty blue person. You can sweep the dust off and I get brighter...but I'm mostly in that grey area.

[thedish]

I'm so happy to see everyone checking in here! I think this will be a great tool for everyone. I'll continue to do these on Wednesday mornings.

ladyannibal I am sorry you are struggling so much with your depression. Have you thought of/tried seeing anyone for some extra help, or even just talked to your PCP about your struggles?

flcl I am so happy to hear about your accomplishment!! That is HUGE. Also, you're welcome! I hope it is a useful tool for everyone.

mrsb1008 I'm also a FTM and definitely went/am going thru the cycle of wondering if something is wrong with baby based off of symptoms. I'm 37w5d and most recently this week is that I'm nervous something is wrong with her because she is "too" active in my mind. Everything I've read talks about how at this point baby's movements are slowing down but my baby has stayed consistent and some days is more active than ever before. Somehow this equates to something terribly wrong in my mind. Like you said, taking that time to reassure yourself that it truly means nothing. For this particular case, I'm telling myself that she's just a badass ninja showing off her skills!

@rocknrollfriend So glad that the conference went well and you were able to avoid triggers. Also, have you been to the Redwood Forest or just like it? I have never been. I want to!

venyia GTKY means "Getting to know you"

waffles What a scary thing. I can see this being something that I would struggle with as well. I am glad DS was all OK and glad that you reached out to get help. I also found that Xanax is not very effective for me. The only time it would be is if I used it infrequently, I guess I build up a tolerance to it? Maybe this is the case for you. 

[Deleted]

Jan 22, 2015 11:35:10 GMT -5 thedish said:

@rocknrollfriend So glad that the conference went well and you were able to avoid triggers. Also, have you been to the Redwood Forest or just like it? I have never been. I want to!

I lived in Humboldt Co. for about 9 years. You should definitely go, there is nothing like it.

[cruelsound]

I've struggled with anxiety since I was a kid, one of my earliest memories was compulsively pulling my hair out. The depression started around puberty, when I was in junior high. I never did anything about it until after my oldest was born, when the anxiety was AWFUL and I was started on Prozac. After my youngest was born the Prozac just stopped working and I pretty much hit bottom. My new goal was to get into therapy and see a psychiatrist to manage my meds. My oldest is in the process of going through the diagnosis for ADHD and his struggles have really been hard on me anxiety-wise.

This is all still new, I was lucky enough to click with the first therapist I went to and have weekly appointments. I was put on 20mg of Celexa yesterday and have a follow up in a month to see how that is working. I made the mistake of looking at all of the warnings and have had to really focus on other things. I've had to stop pumping, which I am a little sad about, but my mental health is what needs to be most important right now. Bring on the formula! This week I've been working on relaxing and breathing but it's been hard, usually things go from fine to utter bullshit crazy in 2 seconds and I don't have time to stop and focus. I also ordered some essential oils for relaxation and focus, which I know are a little hippy dippy, but figured they couldn't hurt. Our next goal is to start using our family YMCA membership on a regular basis.

And if I were a crayon? I'd be red because, duh, it's the best color ever.

[snarkysparklefart]

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!
my background is quite long, but the long & short is that I have borderline personality disorder and have struggled off and on with depression, anxiety, PTSD, (and other issues that kind of don't really have a name, stemming from a crappy childhood).

I am not currently on any daily meds, but I have an anxiety pill as needed while pregnant. I'm in therapy every other week and working with my psychiatrist as well, hoping to thwart or at least have more manageable post partum experience this time!

I'm 26, and a SAHM of almost 2. My H is incredibly supportive, and without him I wouldn't have had the courage to get the treatment I needed. It may sound cliche but he is my rock- and although we had similar childhood experiences, I learn daily from his coping skills.

How have things been this week?
Decent, but I have been struggling with DD's typical 3 year old behavior, and trying to sort out everything to be ready for baby #2- I feel like anxiety is creeping in, and I'm trying to be aware and be proactive.

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?
Today I had an OB appointment and went to target and had lunch with my mom after. Although she and I don't have a perfect relationship, it is nice that she recognizes when I'm starting to be overwhelmed and she wants to help.

GTKY
My favorite color is green, but cerulean has always been my favorite crayon. Such a nice color!

sorry if my formatting doesn't work right, I'm on iPad and kind of new at using it!

[mishkaroni]

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!

Just now seeing this. I was 19 when I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder. It came on after I'd being smoking pot for a year. Apparently it causes your heart to race and can cause attacks. I didn't know. Every few years it gets so bad that I have to go on a strict schedule, even with food. I see a physiologist and psychiatrist. I haven't been on meds since before I got pregnant and only had two attacks during pregnancy. I was diagnosed with depression just within the last few years. My job was aiding it. I took medical leave for my mental health a few times. And am happier now that I quit. But I guess it's a battle I'll deal with forever.

How have things been this week?

It's been a rougher week. This time of the year gets me. I miss my uncle horribly at this time. It's been almost 8 years since he's been gone.


Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?

Uhm... I'll come back to this.


GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?

Blue. It's my favorite color. Probably says a lot

[triplea598]

My likes/lovetits=hugs

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!
My background is a lot. I was sexually abused at 10yo. Since then (I'm now 21) I've been struggling on and off with depression and anxiety. Officially dx with depression, GAD, mild ADD (can do without meds), and anorexia nervosa. Currently taking 20mg Lexapro daily, 15mg Deplin daily, and .5mg Klonopin as needed. I used to self-harm and abuse pills frequently which landed me in the hospital 3 times. I went off all meds during my pregnancy, but then PPD/PPA hit and I went back on the meds. Doing ok as of right now.

How have things been this week?
It's wavered. I've barely slept, so I know that has to be making things worse. I'm starting to sometimes get those feelings of "just getting by," not really enjoying life. I'm also overwhelmed and anxious in regards to DS' upcoming ophthalmology appt and ECI eval.


Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?
Accomplishments would be that I haven't self-harmed in over 3 months, so I'm proud of that. I also started taking a couple hours out of my day to devote it to myself, just to be alone and relax - whether it's reading, napping, or even doing my class work. Struggles would be that I've stopped eating as well/as much as I was before. Also, I want to schedule a counseling appt for me and DH but can never find the time.

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?
Probably a light blue. Still relaxing and calming to look at, but bright enough to make you happy.

[jnerd]

I have a little boy who is going to be 3 in June, and a littler girl (Squeaker) who will be 1 in June.
I'm Canadian so mat leave is a year. But I don't have a job to go back to, so I will likely go back sooner if I can find a job.

I just changed meds.
I had a mental health nurse tell me if I just stopped thinking I was anxious I wouldn't be anxious anymore.
Things are really rough right now. I'm not doing so well.
But I know I need to try for the sake of my marriage and children.
As far as accomplishments- I left the house yesterday. That's big for me right now.


I would be Midnight Blue.

[Deleted]

cruelsound The essential oils could totally help. Ylang ylang is calming for me. My sister uses a combo of bergamot and clary sage to calm, and a citrus blend to uplift (I also like lemon verbena).

jnerd Eff that nurse. What an idiot.

[flcl]

jnerd: agree with PP. That nurse is an idiot. Leaving the house is huge... Way to go! Hope things lightened up soon.

[2kiddos]

I did an intro earlier this week but I'll try to recap. I've dealt with depression which formed after my 1st child. It just never went away. I bounced around to different anti depressants only to max the doses out and function, just not well. Recently I got a new dr who recommended a low dose of lamical (a bipolar med but occasionally used for extreme depression. I'm 2 weeks from beginning it a honestly feel amazing. It's increased my quality of life and relationships with family. Which is a huge accomplishment!

If I were a color if be green cause it's my last name (shouldn't share that but I will)

[Deleted]

I just saw this board for the first time today. I'm glad it's here.
my intro might lengthy. Sorry in advance.

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!
So I am 31 yrs old currently in process of TTC #1. I've had a mental health diagnosis since age 12. Formally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, NOS and GAD at 18. I tried meds in college and I hated it. After struggling in the workforce, I returned to treatment and received a Bipolar 1 diagnosis. My psych was great and started me on Lamictal. The first couple months were great but then the extreme fatigue set in. After a year and a half of testing, it was discovered that I have Narcolepsy w/o Cataplexy.
You can only imagine how strange a sleep disorder can be for someone with a history of insomnia and manic episodes.
It took a few years of adjustments, and an unexplained blood pressure hike to get me to where I am now. My medication regimen is to take Ambien to help me sleep, Nuvigil to keep me awake and Lithium to help me be just me.

How have things been this week?
Mixed emotions while I sit in the TWW thread on TTGP. This month looked so promising but now im having very abnormal spotting. I can stop thinking about it. It's overwhelming

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share? I'm struggling with the what ifs? associated with medication changes that will have to occur if or when I get pregnant. It's scary because I finally feel pretty stable.

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why? Blue, my favorite color has been blue for as long as I can remember.


Edit: 2kiddos - I only just saw your post above mine and I didn't want to worry you. My experience with Lamictal is the exception not the rule. Ive had difficulty with sleep since pretty much birth. It turned out that type of drug exacerbated my pre-existing condition.
Lamictal is a fantastic medication for most people who take it. I wish you lots of luck with it.

[gahorseygal]

Hello! Just did an intro but here is a quick version. PPD diagnosis 4 weeks PP. Started Zoloft but weaned off it at the end of December.

I would be macaroni and cheese. Bc it's delicious and the best crayon in the box. (Found on the big box of like 120 crayons).

[lulu]

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!

Hey ladies - did an intro a few days ago but the long and short of it is....diagnosed with depression after a terrible year that practically finished me off. I was struggling to survive but knew I had to for my daughter. BF at the time (now DH) gave me the strength to seek help so I did (though mostly through fear that he would leave me if I didn't and I did not what to spoil what seemed like a good thing....ie someone who actually loved me).

Through my grieving I found a lot of comfort in the church for some reason and started going regularly to mass - it was nice to have some unconditional love and to feel wanted for who I was. I have massive self esteem issues and at church I really felt like these worries faded a wee bit, so I kept going.

I got pregnant with DS really quickly afterwards, which was a massive blessing I know, and I changed medication to amatriptaline which worked well until my son was born and I got massive anxiety issues - basically terrified something horrific would happen to him or my daughter or husband. I was scared to even hold him at one point. I know now, it was probably the miscarriage that caused these terrifying feelings that something would go wrong.

This ruined my time with "ma boy" and I knew it couldn't go on - plus I knew I was self destructing and spoiling all the wonderful things I had in my life. So I found a great therapist that I still see regularly and I changed my meds again and for now, I seem to be ok....with a few wobbles along the way.....cue next question.....

How have things been this week?

Terrible!!! My DH is back home and all we have done is fight....to the point I packed my bags and was on the verge of leaving with my kids yesterday until he went away again. I didn't in the end, but it's been hellish. It's hard because I get into a great and peaceful routine when he's away and when he's back, my house and family is in uproar, nothing is on my terms, he takes over and I have no say or control. Then I feel guilty because I miss him when he's gone, but am nothing but horrid to him when he's home. Poor guy.

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?

Just struggles...next week will be better I'm sure.

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?

Yellow - yellow is peaceful and chilled out and sunny and cheery....all of the things I aim to be but maybe aren't right now.

[2kiddos]

Jan 24, 2015 13:04:35 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

I just saw this board for the first time today. I'm glad it's here.
my intro might lengthy. Sorry in advance.

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!
So I am 31 yrs old currently in process of TTC #1. I've had a mental health diagnosis since age 12. Formally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, NOS and GAD at 18. I tried meds in college and I hated it. After struggling in the workforce, I returned to treatment and received a Bipolar 1 diagnosis. My psych was great and started me on Lamictal. The first couple months were great but then the extreme fatigue set in. After a year and a half of testing, it was discovered that I have Narcolepsy w/o Cataplexy.
You can only imagine how strange a sleep disorder can be for someone with a history of insomnia and manic episodes.
It took a few years of adjustments, and an unexplained blood pressure hike to get me to where I am now. My medication regimen is to take Ambien to help me sleep, Nuvigil to keep me awake and Lithium to help me be just me.

How have things been this week?
Mixed emotions while I sit in the TWW thread on TTGP. This month looked so promising but now im having very abnormal spotting. I can stop thinking about it. It's overwhelming

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share? I'm struggling with the what ifs? associated with medication changes that will have to occur if or when I get pregnant. It's scary because I finally feel pretty stable.

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why? Blue, my favorite color has been blue for as long as I can remember.


Edit: 2kiddos - I only just saw your post above mine and I didn't want to worry you. My experience with Lamictal is the exception not the rule. Ive had difficulty with sleep since pretty much birth. It turned out that type of drug exacerbated my pre-existing condition.
Lamictal is a fantastic medication for most people who take it. I wish you lots of luck with it.

Thanks! I was reading your post and thinking "oh crap" but then I read your other conditions. I'm not too worried because I realize it works differently for everyone. quick question though- did you feel dizzy on it? I've felt dizzy since taking it 2 weeks ago. Just curious your reaction.

[2kiddos]

Jan 24, 2015 20:25:24 GMT -5 lulu said:

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!

Hey ladies - did an intro a few days ago but the long and short of it is....diagnosed with depression after a terrible year that practically finished me off. I was struggling to survive but knew I had to for my daughter. BF at the time (now DH) gave me the strength to seek help so I did (though mostly through fear that he would leave me if I didn't and I did not what to spoil what seemed like a good thing....ie someone who actually loved me).

Through my grieving I found a lot of comfort in the church for some reason and started going regularly to mass - it was nice to have some unconditional love and to feel wanted for who I was. I have massive self esteem issues and at church I really felt like these worries faded a wee bit, so I kept going.

I got pregnant with DS really quickly afterwards, which was a massive blessing I know, and I changed medication to amatriptaline which worked well until my son was born and I got massive anxiety issues - basically terrified something horrific would happen to him or my daughter or husband. I was scared to even hold him at one point. I know now, it was probably the miscarriage that caused these terrifying feelings that something would go wrong.

This ruined my time with "ma boy" and I knew it couldn't go on - plus I knew I was self destructing and spoiling all the wonderful things I had in my life. So I found a great therapist that I still see regularly and I changed my meds again and for now, I seem to be ok....with a few wobbles along the way.....cue next question.....

How have things been this week?

Terrible!!! My DH is back home and all we have done is fight....to the point I packed my bags and was on the verge of leaving with my kids yesterday until he went away again. I didn't in the end, but it's been hellish. It's hard because I get into a great and peaceful routine when he's away and when he's back, my house and family is in uproar, nothing is on my terms, he takes over and I have no say or control. Then I feel guilty because I miss him when he's gone, but am nothing but horrid to him when he's home. Poor guy.

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share?

Just struggles...next week will be better I'm sure.

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?

Yellow - yellow is peaceful and chilled out and sunny and cheery....all of the things I aim to be but maybe aren't right now.

Hoping next week gets better for you!

[Deleted]

Jan 25, 2015 10:14:38 GMT -5 2kiddos said:

Jan 24, 2015 13:04:35 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

I just saw this board for the first time today. I'm glad it's here.
my intro might lengthy. Sorry in advance.

To start, tell us a bit about yourself: your background, medications you're on, or anything you'd like to share!
So I am 31 yrs old currently in process of TTC #1. I've had a mental health diagnosis since age 12. Formally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, NOS and GAD at 18. I tried meds in college and I hated it. After struggling in the workforce, I returned to treatment and received a Bipolar 1 diagnosis. My psych was great and started me on Lamictal. The first couple months were great but then the extreme fatigue set in. After a year and a half of testing, it was discovered that I have Narcolepsy w/o Cataplexy.
You can only imagine how strange a sleep disorder can be for someone with a history of insomnia and manic episodes.
It took a few years of adjustments, and an unexplained blood pressure hike to get me to where I am now. My medication regimen is to take Ambien to help me sleep, Nuvigil to keep me awake and Lithium to help me be just me.

How have things been this week?
Mixed emotions while I sit in the TWW thread on TTGP. This month looked so promising but now im having very abnormal spotting. I can stop thinking about it. It's overwhelming

Any struggles or accomplishments that you would like to share? I'm struggling with the what ifs? associated with medication changes that will have to occur if or when I get pregnant. It's scary because I finally feel pretty stable.

GTKY Randoms: If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why? Blue, my favorite color has been blue for as long as I can remember.


Edit: 2kiddos - I only just saw your post above mine and I didn't want to worry you. My experience with Lamictal is the exception not the rule. Ive had difficulty with sleep since pretty much birth. It turned out that type of drug exacerbated my pre-existing condition.
Lamictal is a fantastic medication for most people who take it. I wish you lots of luck with it.

Thanks! I was reading your post and thinking "oh crap" but then I read your other conditions. I'm not too worried because I realize it works differently for everyone. quick question though- did you feel dizzy on it? I've felt dizzy since taking it 2 weeks ago. Just curious your reaction.

Are you staying hydrated? Its important to get plenty of fluids when taking medications like that.
I never felt dizzy on Lamictal but I had vertigo with my initial dose of Nuvigil.

[2kiddos]

Jan 25, 2015 10:24:40 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Jan 25, 2015 10:14:38 GMT -5 2kiddos said:

Thanks! I was reading your post and thinking "oh crap" but then I read your other conditions. I'm not too worried because I realize it works differently for everyone. quick question though- did you feel dizzy on it? I've felt dizzy since taking it 2 weeks ago. Just curious your reaction.

Are you staying hydrated? Its important to get plenty of fluids when taking medications like that.
I never felt dizzy on Lamictal but I had vertigo with my initial dose of Nuvigil.

Good point! I don't drink nearly as much water as I should. Always been a battle for me. I'll try stepping that up and see if that helps this week. Thanks for the suggestion!