Also my h was bangin some chick at his work, ss was conceived, and everyone tried to make him marry her. He was like I don't even know this chick! And she got pissed they weren't getting married. They dated for like 8 months and he was like nopenopenope octopus. I don't remember where I'm going with this...
Agreed. She has too much shit going on. I make the face in my profile pic when I see her.
me too but that's just my face.
I had to share something that made me EL-OH-EL I have a cousin who is beautiful and men just follow her like puppy dogs. She's tall so my SIL said she's like a beautiful amazon woman and my cousin legit was like "that's the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me". Lmao wow, it must be hard being gorgeous. Is that mean? I mean amazon? Is that really that mean??
When I hear "amazon woman", I think of Khloe Kardashian so yes, I can see how a pretty person would take offense to that! LOL
I had to share something that made me EL-OH-EL I have a cousin who is beautiful and men just follow her like puppy dogs. She's tall so my SIL said she's like a beautiful amazon woman and my cousin legit was like "that's the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me". Lmao wow, it must be hard being gorgeous. Is that mean? I mean amazon? Is that really that mean??
When I hear "amazon woman", I think of Khloe Kardashian so yes, I can see how a pretty person would take offense to that! LOL
Maybe we're past this, but re babies out of wedlock. I don't think it matters. While I think my marriage is special and all that shit, because I love my H - marriage in society really means jack shit as already pointed out w things like television marriages where people have never met and high divorce rates. Plus, there are plenty of married people that have kids "the right way" being - once married, who are shitty parents. Neglect their children or beat them or worse. So, being judgy about being married prior to knocked up doesn't make sense to me.
Now, I do think people should be responsible and if you're not in a good place to have a baby you shouldn't. But, I know whoops can happen - even if you're using birth control. For example, I recently had a bank teller tell me it was impressive my H and I had been married for so long (4 year) before we got pregnant. She said it was impressive we didn't have a "whoops". I don't get this. I think it's not very hard to not get pregnant if you don't want to.
Maybe we're past this, but re babies out of wedlock. I don't think it matters. While I think my marriage is special and all that shit, because I love my H - marriage in society really means jack shit as already pointed out w things like television marriages where people have never met and high divorce rates. Plus, there are plenty of married people that have kids "the right way" being - once married, who are shitty parents. Neglect their children or beat them or worse. So, being judgy about being married prior to knocked up doesn't make sense to me.
Now, I do think people should be responsible and if you're not in a good place to have a baby you shouldn't. But, I know whoops can happen - even if you're using birth control. For example, I recently had a bank teller tell me it was impressive my H and I had been married for so long (4 year) before we got pregnant. She said it was impressive we didn't have a "whoops". I don't get this. I think it's not very hard to not get pregnant if you don't want to.
I own what happened with us. It was poor decision making while we were drunk, and we didn't use a condom. I'm apparently fertile Myrtle, because with that single incident, and then one time we tried for #2 and we conceived Gavin. So, playing Russian roulette with birth control is clearly a poor choice for me. But, that initial lapse in judgement of not using a condom 4 years ago led to one of the best things to ever happen to me...so maybe, fateful decision making?
Edit to add I never actually left him. He was in his crib, but I was there patting his back every now and then. That was at the suggestion of my pedi as a more gentle approach. Even that was hard....
So, my pedi also said he needs to learn to self-soothe, and to start paci-popping if he wakes up MOTN.
Why do we want LO to develop a paci habit??
Though, I've been trying that, and some belly/head rubbing. It doesn't work. But I don't think I can stomach CIO. FML.
DD already has a paci habit. Sometimes popping that back in doesn't work either. But I can't just let her sit there and cry because it'll just escalate and no one in the house will be sleeping. Solidarity.
Here's a weird one. It's a UO and FFFC combined. My FIL was married to his 3rd wife for 11 years. A year ago everything seemed fine. 10 months ago, they got divorced and moved into separate houses. But. They are still best friends. They do things together. They coparent dogs. They cook at each other's houses and hang out with each other's kids. They aren't seeing other people. We are visiting right now and except that ex-step-MIL isn't living here, it is exactly the same.
UO: why waste your time and money getting divorced? Stay in it for the tax benefits! Move into separate housea or separate rooms, whatever. But getting divorced is a waste of time and money and it's confusing to all of their kids and grandkids.
FFFC: I am spending way to much time side eyeing them trying to figure out if they are still having sex.
Because they're better as friends, and they want to remarry? You described my FIL/ex-SMIL situation.
Here's a weird one. It's a UO and FFFC combined. My FIL was married to his 3rd wife for 11 years. A year ago everything seemed fine. 10 months ago, they got divorced and moved into separate houses. But. They are still best friends. They do things together. They coparent dogs. They cook at each other's houses and hang out with each other's kids. They aren't seeing other people. We are visiting right now and except that ex-step-MIL isn't living here, it is exactly the same.
UO: why waste your time and money getting divorced? Stay in it for the tax benefits! Move into separate housea or separate rooms, whatever. But getting divorced is a waste of time and money and it's confusing to all of their kids and grandkids.
FFFC: I am spending way to much time side eyeing them trying to figure out if they are still having sex.
Because they're better as friends, and they want to remarry? You described my FIL/ex-SMIL situation.
Here's a weird one. It's a UO and FFFC combined. My FIL was married to his 3rd wife for 11 years. A year ago everything seemed fine. 10 months ago, they got divorced and moved into separate houses. But. They are still best friends. They do things together. They coparent dogs. They cook at each other's houses and hang out with each other's kids. They aren't seeing other people. We are visiting right now and except that ex-step-MIL isn't living here, it is exactly the same.
UO: why waste your time and money getting divorced? Stay in it for the tax benefits! Move into separate housea or separate rooms, whatever. But getting divorced is a waste of time and money and it's confusing to all of their kids and grandkids.
FFFC: I am spending way to much time side eyeing them trying to figure out if they are still having sex.
My mom and step dad (ex step dad?) do the same thing. Living separately allows them to date other people should they choose too. They also had irritations with each other living together like taking turns cleaning or cooking or whatever and now they don't have those. Not everyone actually benefits from being married on taxes so that may not be applicable anyways.
Umm, let's talk about how Kylie is dating Tyga and he's 25 and ugly. I realize in that family that the girls were going to grow up quickly, but shit she didn't even get to be a kid.
Also my h was bangin some chick at his work, ss was conceived, and everyone tried to make him marry her. He was like I don't even know this chick! And she got pissed they weren't getting married. They dated for like 8 months and he was like nopenopenope octopus. I don't remember where I'm going with this...
People should never get married just for the children?
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
I tried to score a dino Tula this morning. I was with a customer when they went available and after only 1 minute they were gone. A girl in my local BWI group scored one and offered it to me. I really can't afford it but I want it and am seriously thinking about taking her up on her offer.
If the child is happy, and the parents are happy, why does it matter how the child was conceived, where the child was conceived, or the legal status of the parents? It's not like if a child is born out of wedlock (ugh, it even hurt to type that) it ends up living in a cage, shitting on a grate, and eating whenever a rogue wolf decides to come in and offer it food.
The only way the child would think they're abnormal is because other people make them feel that way. Stigmas end when we work to make them end, not when we perpetuate them because we like looking down on people because we think our moral compass is somehow superior to theirs.
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
Umm, let's talk about how Kylie is dating Tyga and he's 25 and ugly. I realize in that family that the girls were going to grow up quickly, but shit she didn't even get to be a kid.
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
My confession is I've started researching CIO methodologies to consider that for DS. I'm reading up on it and talking to friends and family. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of letting LO cry but I feel like DH and I are getting close to our breaking points in the way of sleep deprivation. I don't know whether we will do it but I feel guilty even considering it.
So, we were at this point a couple weeks ago. And went for it. It was awful. I honestly don't think CIO works for our dd. She had one night where after three 5 min episodes of cry/fussing she fell asleep. Every other time it escalated to full on screaming. (I think I tried 3 or 4 nights total). And each night seemed worse than the night before. Nope. It was horrible. I told my H I didn't have the stomach or heart for it. A few days back into our former routine dd started sleeping much better again. She also all of a sudden is doing new things - talking more, eating better, and rolling onto her sides (still not over - but it's getting closer). I think her poor sleeping was because she was working on a lot of developmental things. And I felt way better, even getting up a couple times at night still knowing she was comforted.
I'll also add, that then out of the blue the last few days shes let us comfort her without picking her up at night if she's not hungry and yesterday she fell asleep on her own for a nap in her crib.
I guess my point is do what works for you. It's good your reading up on CIO. I talked with other parents before we tried it to, and for some it had worked. But I honestly feel like for dd and I it wouldn't have ever worked, no matter if I would have stuck to it. Trust your gut is my big advice.
I'm totally not trying to say that's how your LO will react either. If you do try it I hope it works. But just know of it doesn't, it not necessarily a bad thing. And it doesn't make you a failure or anything.
My kid has managed to bump his head quite hard twice in the past week. No bruises or goose-eggs, but I have yet to feel any sympathy pain. Aren't FTMs supposed to cry over everything? I'm all over here, eh, grow a bigger pair kid.
I have let DD cry. Not fuss, cry. There's a confession I guess, although I don't feel bad about it.
But I agree with your post above.
I wish my kid would just do that. If I knew she was going to cry for about 10-15 minutes and pass out I would let her do that. I would probably cry too at first but I would allow it. One of my friends, her daughter is two weeks older than mine, is trying a crying bedtime because she just wakes up all night long and she hasn't slept in days. She's just been crying and crying and crying. I feel so terrible for her because this baby HATES to sleep clearly
I'm at this point. Pedi suggested interval soothing. We are going on 3 weeks of 5-6 nightly wake ups and she is still in our GD room. This may be happening next week. Something's gotta give.!
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