Intro to a place I don't want to intro

[sarahufl]

Sorry you find yourself here

I hope you don't have an Ectopic, that is what happened to me- hopefully they keep a very close eye on you and you can avoid the surgery.

If it is Ectopic, let me know- I just went through it a couple months ago.

[itsmeally]

Gah. Sorry I deleted this post bc I realized I didn't read stickies & wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything bad etiquette-wise. I'll be back!

[sarahufl]

May 11, 2015 11:07:52 GMT -5 itsmeally said:

Gah. Sorry I deleted this post bc I realized I didn't read stickies & wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything bad etiquette-wise. I'll be back!

hey, come back! Your post was fine

[cabgirl]

May 11, 2015 11:07:52 GMT -5 itsmeally said:

Gah. Sorry I deleted this post bc I realized I didn't read stickies & wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything bad etiquette-wise. I'll be back!

I didn't see your original post, but I bet it was fine. Whatever your specific circumstances, I'm so sorry you find yourself here. Please feel welcome to come here anytime for support or just to vent, and to post your story whenever you feel comfortable. Hugs.

[itsmeally]

Okay, I'll post it again. I felt bad bc I hadn't had time to look into the etiquette of the loss boards.

So, basically I'm in the progress of a failed pregnancy. Still determining if it's chemical pregnancy or an ectopic. I'm 5.5 weeks & my serial beta numbers are extremely low. (28, 37).

I'm having a 3rd beta tomorrow to determine course of action. Declining & I should start bleeding on my own -- as of now no bleeding. Still increasing, I'll have an US to determine if I have an ectopic or if I need a D&C.

I have all the feels about this- guilty because I do have a healthy 16 month old- although she took 12 months to conceive. We tried 8 cycles for this pregnancy.
Sad, for what could have been.
Scared, what if I don't get pregnant again? Or if I do, what if this happens again?

I know I'm fairly early in this process, in that I'm still not sure what the cause of the failed pregnancy is, but I still really felt like I needed to "go somewhere" on TCF. I had previously been a poster on GKU and then the J16 BMB.

I am sorry that anyone finds themselves on this board, it seems like you are all a great support for each other.

[soultrane]

I'm sorry that you're finding yourself here itsmeally. This is the best place that nobody wants to be. There is a wonderful group of women here to offer support and hugs whenever they're needed and to answer questions along the way. There's also a Loss after Living Child board that has been a great source of support for those who have LC.

The only thing I'll recommend is to add a trigger warning to the subject so folks expect to see an LC mentioned, and possibly remove your ticker or hide it behind a Spoiler tag if you aren't ready to edit it yet.

[hollyberry]

I am so sorry you are going through this, all your feelings are normal, and I would say most of them have felt them too. You are not alone! We are here whenever you need us, for any questions or just a ear to listen if you need it. I am sending you as much strength as I can to get though these next few days, with you appointments and what not. *hugs*

[itsmeally]

May 12, 2015 11:54:21 GMT -5 soultrane said:

The only thing I'll recommend is to add a trigger warning to the subject so folks expect to see an LC mentioned, and possibly remove your ticker or hide it behind a Spoiler tag if you aren't ready to edit it yet.

Thank you, those are the etiquette things I wasn't sure about. I'm on the Tapatalk app & can't figure out how to do those things on here but I will edit as soon as I get to my computer.

[sarahufl]

itsmeally, any news from your doctor?

[itsmeally]

sarahufl talked to him this morning. beta again tomorrow. If still slowly rising, will have an ultrasound to rule out ectopic. If decreasing, according to him I will just start to bleed.

[PiradicalMaid]

I'm so sorry you find yourself here, itsmeally. I hope that your beta will help you find a course of action that you're comfortable with in the awful circumstances you find yourself in.

A loss is a loss no matter the circumstances and I think it is really normal to feel worried. Try to be gentle with yourself and take care of yourself during this process. And please feel welcome in any of the loss boards. We're here if you need us.

[sarahufl]

May 12, 2015 14:44:52 GMT -5 itsmeally said:

sarahufl talked to him this morning. beta again tomorrow. If still slowly rising, will have an ultrasound to rule out ectopic. If decreasing, according to him I will just start to bleed.

Yeah, that same thing happened to me. Only they were never able to diagnose it as an Ectopic, even after a few ultrasounds. I got Methotrexate, but then ended up in the ER with internal bleeding and had to have the tube removed.

I am sure they will outline your options to you, but keep an eye on cramping- that is what clued me in and sent me to the ER. My doctors were all very confident that it would clear itself up and it didn't. I will be thinking of you

[muscari]

Welcome! I'm sorry that you find yourself here but am glad you found this board and I hope you will find this place to be really supportive and helpful. Having all the feels is normal in this situation I think! Wishing you strenght those days to come, and we're here for you if you need us. ((hugs))

[nikolie93]

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. *hug*

Waiting is so very hard and I hope it passes quickly for you.

Right now your fears are normal about thinking of getting pregnant again. I recommend waiting for everything to pass so you can heal mentally as well as physically. Then you can start thinking about moving forward. It's all so raw and overwhelming right now.

We understand what you're going through so use us to vent if you need. More *hugs*

[ls2012]

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you're here. The ladies here are really great and supportive. I can't speak to the ectopic, but I hope whatever your road is it's as painless as possible. Huge hugs to you.

[itsmeally]

I feel like a total asshole. My doctor is now apparently "cautiously optimistic". I guess I won't know until my betas are ever high enough for an ultrasound, but they are still rising. Although, I don't know what to believe anymore because this is coming from the OB who told me less than a week ago that he was "POSITIVE" I was having a chemical pregnancy. I felt the need to update you guys, because you were so welcoming and kind to me. I guess I will still be in limbo for a few more weeks....

[sarahufl]

May 15, 2015 13:20:38 GMT -5 itsmeally said:

I feel like a total asshole. My doctor is now apparently "cautiously optimistic". I guess I won't know until my betas are ever high enough for an ultrasound, but they are still rising. Although, I don't know what to believe anymore because this is coming from the OB who told me less than a week ago that he was "POSITIVE" I was having a chemical pregnancy. I felt the need to update you guys, because you were so welcoming and kind to me. I guess I will still be in limbo for a few more weeks....

itsmeally, that is frustrating! DISCLOSURE: I am NOT a doctor. So this is just sharing, not medical advice. But this similar thing happened to me. My betas were rising, but not at the rate they should. Nothing on an ultrasound, they said it could be chemical, which didn't make sense to me because of the timing (I am also SUPER regular). I went a week with no answers and it was so nerve-wracking. Finally, they gave me methotrexate since they couldn't find the pregnancy but knew there was something wrong because of the beta levels.

Don't feel like an idiot or an asshole. You are having a hard time and you need support! But I will say- pay attention to your body and advocate for yourself. I kept calling my doctor with every symptom and I am sure I annoyed them, but I didn't buy what they were selling. Turns out I was right and I needed surgery. I will hope for the best for you, but please continue to advocate for yourself.

Also, thanks for the update.

[itsmeally]

sarahufl thank you so much for your personal experience. Being in limbo totally sucks.

[sarahufl]

May 15, 2015 15:58:10 GMT -5 itsmeally said:

sarahufl thank you so much for your personal experience. Being in limbo totally sucks.

yeah, it was a tough week. Hopefully they have answers for you soon.

[PiradicalMaid]

I'm so sorry to hear that you're in limbo. That was the worst part of the loss for me, and I wasn't even waiting for definite news as long as you were. The not knowing is so hard. I hope you're able to take care of yourself during this time and I wish for the best outcome for you.

[hollyberry]

I am so sorry you are in limbo. I hope for you, you will have a good outcome! *hugs*

[sarahufl]

hey, itsmeally, any news? Been thinking about you!

[itsmeally]

May 19, 2015 11:18:02 GMT -5 sarahufl said:

hey, itsmeally, any news? Been thinking about you!

Beta today was 585. Doc is still concerned, another beta on Thurs. Lots of being in limbo, not a lot of answers...
Thanks for thinking of me!

[sarahufl]

May 19, 2015 13:02:24 GMT -5 itsmeally said:

May 19, 2015 11:18:02 GMT -5 sarahufl said:

hey, itsmeally, any news? Been thinking about you!

Beta today was 585. Doc is still concerned, another beta on Thurs. Lots of being in limbo, not a lot of answers...
Thanks for thinking of me!

Yikes! I know how it feels. It really sucks. Hopefully they get you answer soon (either good or bad, but I will hope for good!!) You just need to know.

[hollyberry]

itsmeally, keep us posted, we are all rooting you on and sending good thoughts!
I can't imagine not knowing whats going to happen. FX