Bad mom days?

[ellewills618]

I'm sorry if this has been covered before but my probing time is suffering as E is testing my reflexes to see how quickly I can grab him before he crashes head first into hard objects or grabs something I thought was out of reach...every 35 seconds.  

Since coming back from our trip I feel like I can't get back on our schedule, I can't read his cues (do toddler tantrums or start this early?), he's slipping and falling and crashing around all over, and this morning he woke up with a crazy rash which is not my fault but just one more place I feel like I'm somehow screwing up.  How do you deal on days where you feel like a walking Mom Fail?

[betheliz]

I have those days a lot. I especially identify with the rather sudden loss of the ability to read any of his cues. He looks sleepy but then he cries in his crib instead of napping. He should be hungry but he bats the milk away. I think this is the hardest age yet because he almost seems capable of communication but I have no idea what he's trying to tell me.

To get through the bad mom days, I remind myself that tomorrow will probably be better, eat chocolate and fish for encouragement from my DH.

[dgs7585]

I'm having trouble with hunger cues. DS cries and cries and responds when I put him in his high chair. He bats away the food yet still cries like he's hungry. It's happened pretty suddenly too. He used to eat like a linebacker, now he barely touches food.

I remind myself that, with children, phases come and go. It's not a fail at all. It's not screwing up. We do the best we can.

[kimmerz424]

I think we all have those days, my LO got her first goose egg on her forehead a few weeks ago. I was literally sitting right there. Of course I freaked called the Pedi and he told me to calm down she'd be fine. I try to see the accidents before they come and prevent it, but you can't.

We all have those days, I just look at the smiles, and sometimes I go back and look at pictures from newborn to now, helps me see we've made it this far we're doing alight. It also doesn't hurt to ask for help if you can.

[carissalynp]

Totally sympathize. When he was littler it seemed like the bad days were less under my control I guess, like I was overwhelmed, and he wouldn't sleep or something but who the heck knew why?? Now I completely understand feeling like I'm missing his cues. He absolutely has tantrums- he even falls onto the floor now when he gets mad! Gah. I feel like I have to be on top of him because he's either getting into things or hurting himself or me (he likes to yank on my hair and laugh), but he gets mad when he wants to do things himself. Today he was super cranky at night and I didn't know why, til I put him in my lap and he fell asleep on my chest- a half hour earlier than usual, and it never occurred to me he was tired. Mom fail. Like tLex said, it's so helpful to vent here. Also make sure you have a totally baby proofed space (even if it's small), sometimes I just need to put him down, not engage, and collect myself for a bit.

[noethola]

Fist bump in solidarity. Being a parent is a tough job. There are days when nothing makes sense, everything that worked yesterday does not work today, and you are at a loss on how to respond. I hear it gets a bit easier when they can actually talk. But, raising a person who has their own personality and spacial issues (I swear he runs into things that are not even there...) is challenging. It is so helpful to be able to just vent frustrations like these here, and be reminded that you are not a bad mom.

[ellewills618]

Sorry to post & run. E's rash got worse so we ran over to urgent care. Apparently it was some kind of allergic reaction. Thank you all for your responses. I hate that anyone else is going through this but man is it reassuring to hear & cheers me up some when I was (am) a little blue.

tLex- thanks for the commiseration & kind words. I always appreciate your insight.

betheliz- yes! I couldn't have said it better. I used to read him like a book and suddenly it's in a different language. I know he's trying to tell me something but for the love- what do you want? I'd give him a pony if it meant I wasn't eating soggy Cheerios every morning interpreting his grunts and whines.

carissalynp- the tantrums are wild. I can 1000% relate to what you wrote. We need a baby jail for downstairs. I think you're right. Sometimes I need a break from being a bouncer/jumper/jungle gym. And the hair pulling. I'm ready to shave my head.

noethola- parenting really is the hardest job you'll ever love. This is just a little Tylenol for my baby fever!

[katybriggs]

Jan 22, 2015 4:36:30 GMT -5 ellewills618 said:

Sorry to post & run. E's rash got worse so we ran over to urgent care. Apparently it was some kind of allergic reaction. Thank you all for your responses. I hate that anyone else is going through this but man is it reassuring to hear & cheers me up some when I was (am) a little blue.

tLex- thanks for the commiseration & kind words. I always appreciate your insight.

betheliz- yes! I couldn't have said it better. I used to read him like a book and suddenly it's in a different language. I know he's trying to tell me something but for the love- what do you want? I'd give him a pony if it meant I wasn't eating soggy Cheerios every morning interpreting his grunts and whines.

carissalynp- the tantrums are wild. I can 1000% relate to what you wrote. We need a baby jail for downstairs. I think you're right. Sometimes I need a break from being a bouncer/jumper/jungle gym. And the hair pulling. I'm ready to shave my head.

noethola- parenting really is the hardest job you'll ever love. This is just a little Tylenol for my baby fever!

no fshit. Me too.

I have mom fail days, but I know the mom win days are just around the corner. I think that's a big part of why we love F14 so much. It reminds us that for as crappy and lost as we feel sometimes, it's completely normal to feel that way.

I feel bad for moms who legit think that everyone else has it together except them. Those poor, poor moms!

[moxy]

Oooo octopus arms!

I swear there are days that I just can't keep up!

When we tell him no he laughs.. Parent fail?
Pretty sure time out is a bit beyond our reach but how do you "discipline" other than reroute.. It's exhausting. Especially when he's mid tantrum.

[karlamo]

Hugs moms. Sounds like we all have those days.
Yesterday R ate some of the mail we got. WTF! Then today he ate dirt from our planter.
I'm 2 for 2.

[jackiep1023]

Everyone has these types of days, for sure! We are dealing with a weird schedule change here lately, too. Since we were so thrown about it, we decided it was time we ditch the bottles (except at night), and start the transition to WCM. She is doing well so far, and I hope I don't jinx myself by saying we are getting back into some sort of a routine!

A week or two ago, DD fell and banged her head really good on the hinge of a cabinet door. Immediately, her head got a big knot on it. DH never said a word, but I was right there, and I felt so awful! We put some ice on it, and it's basically gone now, but it sure got ugly for awhile.

And the tantrums! I know they are just starting, but she will scream if something isn't going her way. Toy stuck in the bottom of the toybox? Scream until someone comes and moves whatever was in the way. We use the bathroom (and close the door), she'll bang on it and screech until we open it. If both DH and I are trying to throw dinner together real quick (on days we are both working), she HAS to be held by one of us so she can help, too! I really need to figure out back carries with my woven, I know that will help with the last one.

You aren't the only one! (And yes, I've also *half seriously* contemplated shaving my head, also!)

[ellewills618]

katybriggs that's a good reminder that I needed to hear- that for every bad day there's a good day. And I'm so glad to have found this community. So many military wives/moms are amazing at putting on a show that they have the perfect life and I'm just not one of those people. If I have a problem I call it like it is. Life is too short to be anything other than your authentic self. Reading all the experiences and joys and mishaps of the women here definitely helps me keep perspective.

jackiep1023 I should bring the Ergo in out of the car. E also wants to be held when I'm doing the dishes and the whining if I don't pick him up...oy. I know tantrums are going to be the new normal but I need a few more tools to start figuring out how to navigate them.