Wow... Nothing like a kick in the teeth while already down..

[dannigirl]

* possible triggers, talk of loss *

So tonight I got home and there was a letter addressed to me from the Cold Lake Health Care Centre. It's an Ages & Stages Questionnaire. Asking how our newborn is doing and how her development is coming along. The end of the letter stated that they hoped we were enjoying our time as new parents...

I didn't look through everything in the package, instead I called the number provided in the letter. Informed the girl on the other end that I got this letter and my baby was stillborn in Dec....

I'm not one of confrontation, and I know that people make mistakes by entering information wrong in a computer which then pulls a list of names of those who had babies... So I calmly told her what happened and that I wanted them to know that others may have gotten a letter after they lost their baby too.

The girl was very apologetic, and I know it was not her fault. But holy cow.... The other day I got a call from some guy to talk to me about some College savings thing for children, so I had to tell him too that our baby died...

Now I know how my Mom felt constantly getting calls at home and people asking to speak with my father who had died months before. It's frustrating and upsetting.

I kind of want to curl up in a ball and cry, but at the same time I know that won't change anything and it wasn't done to be malicious. Just aucks that someone screwed up and now I'm feeling crappy again.

Anyway... That's my rant. Ugh!!

[Stringy]

Ugh that is so crappy, I'm so sorry they did that. I give you complete permission to curl up in a ball and cry for a while. It was also very brave of you to call them up and tell them their error.

[luckypanda]

Hugs! I am so sorry dannigirl

[mahler5]

I'm so sorry! Hugs to you. I'm glad you called them and to them. They should be more careful. It's totally insensitive.

[RM80]

So sorry you got that crappy letter, but good for you for calling. Hopefully you just prevented other loss moms from that letter. *hugs*

[wittyandwaiting]

I am so sorry dannigirl; way to go for finding the strength to call them.

[kh826]

I'm so very sorry dannigirl. That is awful, but I agree with others that you are very brave and strong for the way that you handled it (and the way that you have handled everything in my opinion - I think you have been so very brave). Sending you hugs and support. Please rant to us here anytime!

[officerofthelaw]

Sorry you are having to deal with that.

[healz413]

sending so much love. How horrible!!!
I remember when we got the formula sample in the mail. I lost my shit.

[karlamo]

How heartbreaking for you and you wife. I'm sorry

[cetcar]

That's tough. So sorry you had to go through that.

[andstilltrying]

I'm so so sorry. It's amazing how a loss makes us look at everything differently. I remember after our loss, the exact moment we pulled into drive way after coming home from hospital our next door neighbors were also pulling in with their brand new baby girl as they welcomed her home. A deep reality set in. At that point I had registered for so much stuff on parenting sites wanting to learn and connect...then had to keep hashing out every couple days that we had lost the baby.

Life's cruel reality! Thinking of you all!

[jazibel]

I'm so sorry you had to open that bit of mail only to face heartbreak again. I hope that you're able to take the time you need to take care of yourself this weekend.

[dannigirl]

Thank you all. I find it a little odd, and kind of off putting in a way, at how calmly I deal with situations that should have brought me to my knees. But I guess everyone deals with grief in different ways. Plus I've seen how toxic being bitter and angry over things that can not be controlled effected my friend, I didn't want to be like that. She actually held a hatred towards those who got pregnant without really trying when she had failed IUI's over and over. I know I'm not at the same place as her for failed IUI's and the frustration she's gone through, but I vowed to not allow that to happen to be, no matter what.

healz413, We were both away for a month for training and when we came back there was a package waiting for us. I picked it up because it was in my name and it was a diaper bag, formula and this sample formula that was already in the bottle with a nipple to attach. That was an unexpected pickup. We gave the formula in the bottle to one of the guys at Jo's work who is expecting his baby in Sept. That day I was totally set off since I got that back a week after Baby Girls original due date.

andstilltrying, That is incredibly hard what you went through! I blocked many people on FB who were expecting babies around the same time we were, they are still blocked and I only see what's going on with them and their little ones when I know I can handle it. But there is no way to block a neighbor.

I expect there to be more random things coming our way over the months because I'm sure I singed up for all kinds of things, because I love free stuff. But I think I can handle the free things, since it will be put in the baby's room and be there for when we finally have our little one. But holy was I not expecting that questionnaire from the Health Center.