Thursday in law rants

[viola]

Oh fudge. I forgot about this thread and just bitched about my mom in the random thread. oops

[viola]

I'll just move this here....


My mother is so fucking passive aggressive. Probably the worst communicator ever. I happen to be an excellent communicator and hate it when things are left unsaid or unresolved. So without getting into too much detail - I brought up a topic. I prefaced with "WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT...." and she proceeded to get sulky, LIE/tell me what I want to hear, and WALK AWAY. WTF! grow a fucking spine. If I can't even have a conversation with her using the most inoffensive, unassuming language how THE FUCK am I supposed to live with her? I cannot even handle this right now! Currently researching condos to buy her so she can get the F out of my house and I might be able to like her again.

[kroads]

Jan 22, 2015 18:37:53 GMT -5 hconner3 said:

Jan 22, 2015 11:46:02 GMT -5 kroads said:

A little back story: I have never spent time alone with my MIL. My DH and I moved across country, and she insisted she come and visit to see our DS who turns one on Tuesday (GREAT! We'd be happy to have her!).

She then schedules herself a "race" while she is here in town and says "If I'm going to come 'cross country, I might as well have something to do while I'm there" (as if spending time with DS and us isn't enough). She then decides she is only staying at our house for two nights (the night she gets into town, and the following night) because it's "more convenient" for her to stay downtown (which is a good 30 minutes from where we live) so she can sight-see (Okay, that's fine...). BUT - when she gets here, she doesn't book a rental car. She expects us to drive her back and forth every where she wants to go (including stopping by the store every night so she can buy herself a bottle of wine). Then, on my DH's only day off from work, she expected him to get up at 4am, drive downtown to pick her up from her hotel, and then drive another 20 minutes to drop her off at the airport. Oh, and the icing on the cake?! She expected me to wake DS up and put him in the car so she could say "goodbye" to him at the airport. IF SEEING HIM WAS SUCH A PRIORITY - YOU WOULD HAVE SPENT MORE TIME WITH HIM!!!!

This is so rude, and bitchy of her. I agree that she should have had her priorties in order.

What is even more frustrating, is that she takes care of my niece once a week (my niece and DS are only 4 months apart) and she kept saying "Well, (insert name here) does this, and (insert name here) does that. Look at my phone, it's all pictures of (insert name here) isn't she SO CUTE?!" And all I could think was "You're supposed to be here to see us and our son...does this little amount of time you get with us not mean anything to you?" I know I shouldn't compare, but my parents are going to be here on Saturday for DS' first birthday, and have specifically told me that they do not want to sight-see. They want nothing more but to spend as much time as possible with him as possible. They also both make sure to FaceTime with him at least twice a week. Just makes me sad. 

[josim]

So my FIL generously offered to look after our two cats while we were away for the weekend.

We returned on Sunday night, to our new home - which I'm currently trying to unpack and settle into - and there is a new stack of boxes in the kitchen with a note from our MIL saying that she cleaned out her cupboards and thought we might want some of their old stuff. Soooo now I have to sort through that, and from what I've seen so far, likely make another trip to the thrift store to donate it.

No, I don't want your fruit bowl. Stop unloading your junk on to me.

[laur1020]

This isn't something that has happened to me YET, but it's a glimpse into what my future holds. Long story short, DH's parents live in another part of the country and are planning on moving near us when FIL can fully retire. They just moved to the same state as SIL so MIL could have some assistance, as she is disabled. Well, DH just spoke to SIL last night on speaker phone, and she was venting about their parents. She said that she is so annoyed with them because all the want to do is hang out and do everything with her and Her family. She's suggested to MIL to get involved with a seniors center to make friends, go to a church BIble study, etc., but she doesn't want to. FIL relies on SIL to take care of MIL and is just plain lazy. She said to DH:" just giving you a heads up as to what you'll be dealing with when they move near you". Ugh! I am so dreading the day that it becomes reality that they move here. They are going to expect me to check on and entertain MIL, take her shopping, tag along to church with us, and basically invade our lives. I just think it's unfair. I hate that MIL is disabled, it's heart breaking to see her declining. But I don't know them very well. I've only been a part of their family for 2 years. DH and I are in our 30's and we're now starting our family. When they move here DS will be about 2-3 years old and we will probably (hopefully) have another baby/one on the way. There's no way I could take care of MIL too. I don't want to sound selfish, but my kids will come first. FIL will have to hire a companion for MIL If he decides to get a job here. Sorry.. That was longer than I was hoping it would be! I'm just frustrated. I know I shouldn't stress about it now, but I keep hearing SIL complaining and if she can't handle Her own parents, I know I cant!

[hconner3]

laur1020 set boundaries early!! It's not selfish to know your limits! :-)

[pinkbarebear]

Finally broke down and told MIL the baby name we picked. Her response was "you're kidding me right?"
NO BITCH! I AIN'T JOKING! I know you're old enough to know better manners than to sit there and list all your reasons why you don't like our name choice.
By they way, the name you picked out for your daughter sucks!

[obi]

Jan 22, 2015 10:09:54 GMT -5 Starbuck128 said:

Mine is from my own family a few weeks ago. My brother, grad student and 30 this year, came to visit for a week. My parents bought him the plane ticket and he stayed at their house. My mom was so thrilled to have her baby home again. *eye roll*

I invited my brother out to lunch with DS and me, and then out to the park. My mom overheard and invited herself along. We agreed on a time, which was 30 minutes after DS's usual lunch time, but my brother likes to sleep in so it had to be later. Fine, whatever.

DS and I show up on time as planned and my mom says my brother is still asleep and come back later. We leave and come back, and by the time my brother is ready, it's an hour and a half past DS's lunch time and he's really cranky about it. As a result, I'm really cranky.

I snapped at my mom when she started dragging her feet about finally leaving the house, and she snapped back and got this defensive attitude about how we needed to be more accommodating to my brother's sleep schedule. Um, no. He's a grown man who can wake up at a reasonable hour every day. He can also be responsible enough to be ready on time for any appointments he makes. I'm tired of him acting like a child and my mom being all giddy that she still gets to baby him.

I think we have the same mom and brother.  I feel your frustration!

[obi]

MIL is amazing and is throwing our baby shower. She is great at putting together parties and really loves to go all out. I know I am very lucky to have someone like her in our lives. ...BUT! I'm feeling really annoyed. She is really quick to speak without thinking, and sometimes has trouble looking beyond herself and can come off a bit insensitive because of it. She really means well though.
I told her we are pretty positive we wont be announcing DS's name until the day he is born. We have told our parents and DH's father's parents (DS will be named after DH's father who passed away, but he wasn't his biological father, so he asked for their blessing).
She responded saying "Well I need to know like as soon as possible because it will affect the décor!" ...uhm ok. I said "Yeah no problem, we just need to make a final decision. We will let you know for sure soon." Really in my head I'm thinking I have as much time as I'd like. This is not a decision I plan on rushing due to shower décor... which isn't until the last weekend in March anyway.

She called DH two days later to talk about decorations and sent him a picture of wooden blocks that spell out DS's name, which she wants to put on a table at the shower. She then asked him if we will be announcing the name, and suggested we do it at the shower. DH said he doesn't think we will be but we still haven't decided 100%. Her response was "Well... I think you should do it at the shower. I spent a lot of time on these blocks!"

I SPENT A LOT OF TIME MAKING THIS BABY. Screw your blocks!! Ugh. But, I love that woman.

[brittneysandra]

@blackpearl08 .. You may be right. Hormones and 8 years of built up hate for this woman make it hard for me to see clearly sometimes.

[angelasashes]

Jan 22, 2015 8:14:25 GMT -5 beebe918 said:

My MIL is so overbearing sometimes. H and I work opposite work schedules so the only time we are able to spend together are Sundays (all day) and Monday evenings after I get home from work. MIL acts like she is going to die if she doesn't see us every other week or so. We are going over for dinner this Monday and I'm already dreading it, like when I have free time I want to spend it with my H, not my in-laws. This will be the first time we've seen them since Christmas so I did succeed in putting our visit off for awhile but I had to finally give in.

I hear you!! My MIL acts like she's going to die if we don't get together with them at least once a week. My parents live a state away, and I'm already feeling like my kiddo will see ILs way more than my parents. How do I even keep it remotely balanced?

[angelasashes]

Today I was informed by DH that his parents will expect audio of the birth. As in, while I'm delivering there will be a phone call to them happening so they can intrude on a very personal moment and then form an opinion about how "well" I did at handling the pain. Apparently my SIL allowed this. WTF?! NO. DH sees nothing wrong with this request. If I see a phone anywhere near me in that delivery room, I will break it with my bare hands.

[amelandre]

Jan 26, 2015 2:20:20 GMT -5 angelasashes said:

Today I was informed by DH that his parents will expect audio of the birth. As in, while I'm delivering there will be a phone call to them happening so they can intrude on a very personal moment and then form an opinion about how "well" I did at handling the pain. Apparently my SIL allowed this. WTF?! NO. DH sees nothing wrong with this request. If I see a phone anywhere near me in that delivery room, I will break it with my bare hands.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! No.

Not in a million, billion, quadrillion years would I agree to that either. You should make DH leave his phone out in plain sight somewhere so there's no chance he will sneak a dial and put the phone back in his pocket. Or get the nurses to tell everyone there is a "no phones in the room" policy and if he doesn't shut it off then he has to wait in the hallway.

[angelasashes]

Jan 26, 2015 3:02:25 GMT -5 amelandre said:

Jan 26, 2015 2:20:20 GMT -5 angelasashes said:

Today I was informed by DH that his parents will expect audio of the birth. As in, while I'm delivering there will be a phone call to them happening so they can intrude on a very personal moment and then form an opinion about how "well" I did at handling the pain. Apparently my SIL allowed this. WTF?! NO. DH sees nothing wrong with this request. If I see a phone anywhere near me in that delivery room, I will break it with my bare hands.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! No.

Not in a million, billion, quadrillion years would I agree to that either. You should make DH leave his phone out in plain sight somewhere so there's no chance he will sneak a dial and put the phone back in his pocket. Or get the nurses to tell everyone there is a "no phones in the room" policy and if he doesn't shut it off then he has to wait in the hallway.

Oooh good ideas!

[angelasashes]

Jan 26, 2015 3:44:59 GMT -5 @nevertoomanyshoes said:

Jan 26, 2015 2:20:20 GMT -5 angelasashes said:

Today I was informed by DH that his parents will expect audio of the birth. As in, while I'm delivering there will be a phone call to them happening so they can intrude on a very personal moment and then form an opinion about how "well" I did at handling the pain. Apparently my SIL allowed this. WTF?! NO. DH sees nothing wrong with this request. If I see a phone anywhere near me in that delivery room, I will break it with my bare hands.

Wow, that's a doozy. I can't believe your SIL allowed that. My H likes to stir me up and say he needs his mum there for the labour and delivery for support. He's joking but it nearly always gets me for like a second. Don't get me wrong, my MIL is great, I'm pretty lucky, but no way is she being there for the birth.

Right?? My SIL doesn't really say no to anything. I've learned a lot from watching her about how saying yes to one innocent request can lead to a host of inappropriate behavior and assumptions from the ILs. NOPE!

[angelasashes]

Jan 26, 2015 9:03:37 GMT -5 CatLady said:

Jan 26, 2015 2:20:20 GMT -5 angelasashes said:

Today I was informed by DH that his parents will expect audio of the birth. As in, while I'm delivering there will be a phone call to them happening so they can intrude on a very personal moment and then form an opinion about how "well" I did at handling the pain. Apparently my SIL allowed this. WTF?! NO. DH sees nothing wrong with this request. If I see a phone anywhere near me in that delivery room, I will break it with my bare hands.

Seriously? Just no. I don't understand why people want to be part of the birth. If I didn't have to be part of the birth, I wouldn't be. Nobody wants to see/hear that.

Exactly. They wouldn't have wanted to hear audio of us making the baby, right? So why is this any less personal?

[rocksforludo]

Jan 26, 2015 10:54:52 GMT -5 CatLady said:

Jan 26, 2015 10:41:05 GMT -5 angelasashes said:

Exactly. They wouldn't have wanted to hear audio of us making the baby, right? So why is this any less personal?

That made me giggle  

I wish someone would have warned me about how weird families get when a baby is on the way. I thought wedding planning was bad....

SO WEIRD.