making friends as a grownup is hard, yo.

[serunatu]

At swim lessons I would ask something about their kid to get a conversation going. "What a cute suit! Where is that from?" and then we'd talk about our kids, because that was the only thing we knew we had in common. Maybe something will get brought up so you have the opportunity to bring up that you are new to the area.

Probably don't start it with something like "so, you come here often?" hahah

[gradschoolmama]

'calvinfoster I think it's hard making friends and I've lived in my town 6 years! I second serunatu with talking about kid stuff, another one I use at stroller strides is "any big plans for the weekend ?" Sometimes this yields ideas for family activities in town too, which is a bonus. I just have to embrace the awkwardness otherwise I won't meet anyone

[rn536]

Right now I make friends with my kids parents through play dates. Do you have older kids?
You could do join a mommy and me group with baby and try to talk to the women there. If you see them every week you may become friendly with someone and can try meeting at the park or beach with the babies.

[gustierx]

I have no advice but can offer sympathy- we moved here 11 months ago and have virtually no friends, and no mom friends. I'd love to do a mommy and me class or something, but my work schedule doesn't allow it (retail pharmacist, I work lots of nights and weekends). I think you're right though, that is in part why boards like these are so popular- it's an easy place to fit in

[beevol]

Meetup is pretty big in our area and one of the best ways I know of to meet new friends. We've also made playdates with families whose kids go to daycare with our kids. They're more hit and miss though since we don't have much in common besides kids. Plus DH and I are usually a good bit younger than other parents.

[apsalartoll]

I second meetup. There's a group here for babies born in 2014. My baby is always the youngest but it doesn't matter since it's mostly about the moms.

[kookooma]

I understand your difficulty in making friends. I live in a town that is extremely clique-y. If you haven't been friends since birth you're out of luck. I've been blessed that my cousin and our mutual childhood friend had babies within months of me. Although they are younger than me by several years its nice to get out for walks and lunches. I have also met other moms through community education classes, kids sports and have rekindled friendships with some high school classmates since my older kids are friends with their kids. I guess just putting yourself out there to meet people is the first step.

[amyface813]

How about a mops group? (Mothers of pre-schoolers) my sister is pretty shy and has three kids and she's met a bunch of other moms and made a few good friends there.

[chicorojo]

I am so socially awkward it's so hard for me to make friends. I have my two best friends here that I have been friends with since jr high. I met most of my other friends through work.
Play dates scare the hell outta me because I always feel like its too much pressure for my kids to behave and for me to keep the conversation going.
Most of my friends are extremely outgoing so we balance each other out.
I also live in a very small town so their is no mommy and me classes or stroller strides or anything. Honestly if there were I would probably be too nervous to join.
Anyway, that was no help whatsoever.
But since you spend a lot of time at work I would see if you clicked with someone there. I also know you have older kids, so maybe if they play sports other moms there or moms of the friends they will make. Have you met any of your neighbors yet ?

[mlee116]

It really is hard.  Not only is making friends hard, once you do connect with people, its hard to make time to hang out because of work, family commitments, kids get sick, etc.  

DH and I really only have one couple that we hang out with regularly.  We went to HS together, but became good friends in college and then afterwards because we got married and had kids around the same time.   

I agree with PPs that talking about the kids is usually the easiest ice breaker.  People love talking about their kids, yo  DH and I have hung out with coworkers too, but I guess that depends on your workplace and your position.  And if you even like your coworkers, lol. 

[path75]

I am ftm so I signed up for a parenting group. Just got a call tonight that it starts next Tuesday. It is every other week for 12 sessions so 6 months.

[danisgossipgirl]

I hate making new friends. I love friends, I hate the awkward process. To be honest, I haven't made a new IRL friend since college. Acquaintances here and there but no one new that I'm close with. It sucks, yet apparently not so much that I get past it and do something about it. It would be really nice to have a married couple to hang out with or some moms. You might be asking the wrong group lol.

[FCtwinmom]

It is so hard! How come no one tells you how hard it is to make friends as an adult?

DH and I moved an hour away from all of our good friends last year, and while it is close enough to still see them it's not super easy especially now with the the twins here. We tried to make friends with a couple in our birthing class, but chickened out asking for their numbers (it's scarier than dating!). A couple about our age moved in across the street and we are irrationally excited about it. But we have only been able to get together once because life is crazy Andy kids had a weekend long melt down last week. Hopefully joing the parents of multiples club will help us out.

Even though after reading this I might feel more comfortable asking people to hang out/exchange info since it seems to be a pretty common struggle

[things]

I'm an introvert, and I don't really go out of my way to make friends offline. Pretty much all of my friends are people I've met in various online communities, and many I'm close with. I'm new-ish to the city I live in, and haven't made any effort to make friends. I'm sure I could via my girls' school, but I hate the awkward part of the initial process. My dd1 had a play last night and there was a mom that I'm sure I could have clicked with and share similar interests, but I don't know what to do about making a friend in that sort of situation. I also have social anxiety, so that doesn't help.