Work sucks (vent) **loss mentioned**

[tiresiastheblond]

Sorry for the AW, but I just really need to complain.  My boss knows about the m/c and that I'm scheduled for a D&C tomorrow (he knows I'm scheduled for "surgery," anyway, but he went to med school and can probably figure it out).  He's very much one of those "I'm here to support you; just let me know what you need from me" types--until you actually do need something.  Anyway, now he's displeased that I won't be coming in tomorrow afternoon after my D&C for our regular weekly meeting.  He'd been driving me crazy with non-stop (and fairly petty, objectively) requests all week, and I just kind of lost it and e-mailed him back that I would appreciate it if he would give me a little bit of a break right now because I'm really struggling.  

Now I wish I had kept it more professional, of course.  Anyway, obviously one of us is being unreasonable.  I hope it's not me, but maybe it is and I'm in too much of a hormonal fog to notice?  Personally, I think I deserve some credit for not taking any time off (except to have surgery).  My boss is a man...

The good news is that since I think I miscarried naturally on Monday (and showed up at work bright and early Tuesday, dammit), I am scheduled for an ultrasound tomorrow am before surgery.  If it looks good I won't have to proceed with the D&C.  I would have gone in to work in that case, but now I think I'll take the day off anyway.  Suck it, boss.

[vh2014]

I think you should say home and wallow in your misery anyway... with a pint of Ben and Jerry's or a bottle of wine or whatever your guilty pleasure is. And yes... I feel this way because he should be more supportive and if he won't do it on his own we'll take care of that for him.

Hope you feel better. Hugs.

[rnmommy]

When my doctor was discussing options with me she said women should stay home after a d&c and could return to work the next day. I'm sorry your boss is fake supportive. what an ass. Take tomorrow anyway. *hugs*

[Deleted]

tiresiastheblond, agree with vh2014, definitely take the day for healing! I hope you don't need the surgery but I support you doing whatever it is you need to take care of yourself!

[zombiesquad]

Ugh! I'm sorry your boss is being a jerk. You're not being unreasonable at all. This is a difficult thing to go through.

[mom2boxers]

Since it's a regular weekly meeting, I would have assumed you wouldn't be there. You have to take care of yourself.

[summergirl1211]

Wow, what an ass. I'm so sorry he's not being more supportive of you. Definitely take the day off (FX you don't need the surgery) and he can deal. Taking care of yourself is better for you, and therefore the company, in the long run. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[flyliceandcoffee]

*** lurking ***

wtf boss?! You shouldn't even have to go to work after a MEDICAL procedure!!! Ugh, your boss is annoying me and I don't even have to work with him.

[boobacat]

I'm sorry @tiresiastgeblond.
There was no way I would have been back at work the next day. I took 'off' the whole weekend at home.

[b0710]

***lurking****


So sorry tiresiastheblond! That is so crappy of your boss. I think fake supportive might be worse than just openly not supportive. You most definitely should not have to attend that meeting, or work for that day. Many people would have been out this whole week dealing with everything that you've had to go through. Sorry! {{{Hugs}}}}

[teenybenoit]

**lurking**
I'm so sorry you have to go through this, you are braver then I am, I found out Friday about our pending mc and haven't been to work since.
I got an email from my boss "all the best during your recovery period"
Wtf does that mean? I had some choice words that I sucked up. But I also am not rushing back.
Take time out for you girl. This is a very sad time and you have every right to feel sad, overwhelmed, confused, distracted and I don't think that's due to hormones, that being human.
Hugs. And FX that you won't need a D&C but if you do, wishing you a speedy recovery.

[agpjt413]

So many ((hugs)), tiresiastheblond. Jeezus - WTF is wrong with him?! And this dude has a medical degree?! I'm with the stay home regardless camp. And why choose a particular guilty pleasure?! I say double fist it with Ben & Jerry's AND some wine!!

[PepperPottsJ]

::hugs:: tiresiastheblond and a huge GFY to your boss! You don't sound anywhere near unreasonable!

[wannabmama]

Hugs! Absolutely stay home regardless. He's being an ass!

[mazzola23]

What a jerk!

[hoopoe]

Lurking here, sorry, but I had to echo what everyone else is saying!

I just had a D&C yesterday, and there is no way I could have gone back to work right away! Putting all the emotional stuff aside, I wasn't walking or thinking straight for several hours afterward - I was in a complete Propofol fog. You aren't even supposed to drive for 24 hours after the procedure due to the anesthesia!

The expectation for you to come in to work after a procedure where anesthesia is used is completely absurd, and I got really annoyed for you.

Anyway, I hope everything goes as smoothly for you as possible, and your boss comes to his senses.

[KirstenAlecia]

I HATE YOUR BOSS........just saying.

[tiresiastheblond]

Thanks, all! I didn't actually get the D&C (yay)! I also didn't get to relax, though, because DD got sent home from daycare with pinkeye AGAIN! It's uncanny--she's been sent home pretty much every time I've had some sort of fertility-related work absence where I'm supposed to rest. I'm starting to think it's sabotage; she likes being an only child!

Then again, maybe it's just her daycare. She's seriously out about once a month, which is not ideal for my job. I had strong words with them this morning, and now I hope they don't kick her out because I'm so difficult to deal with.

[wannabmama]

Glad you didn't need the D&C. As just about the only adult on the planet who gets pinkeye and has no exposure to kids, really, I can appreciate how annoying it is!