I'm never being a bridesmaid again

[waffles]

This shit is way too expensive.

Our dresses were $200 and my mom just informed me alterations could be between $100-150.

WTF?!

[eyenigh]

Yuck, I know. The last wedding I stood up in had us buying $800 Badgley Mischka gowns, plus a huge amount of alterations for me to the tune of a couple hundred more. The best part: I'm not even friends with her anymore (there's a huge story behind that) so now I don't even have good memories to go with it. F that. Luckily I'm old enough now that there are fewer and fewer weddings and the ones that we do have are pretty low key, non-giant-wedding-party affairs.

[TheEleventhHour]

Yeah, I will only be a bridesmaid for my sister and cousin (who is like a sister) if/when they get married. I am so over it for anyone who is not family. The last wedding I was in cost me $1500 plus an airline ticket and now we are no longer friends so of course I have no good feelings about it. I was in another wedding for a friend who was super understanding about keeping the costs down for everyone and appreciated us for being able to be with her on her big day. So I've at least had one good wedding experience!

[violette]

That is completely unreasonable.  No one ever wears those dresses again, no matter what the bride says.

My pregnant sister is scheduled to be a bridesmaid in her sister-in-law's wedding. It's in a rural campground 3000 miles from where my sister lives, three months after her due date, and the dress the bride picked doesn't come in plus sizes.

F*** that noise. I gently encouraged her to drop out of the bridal party. We'll see if she does.

[Deleted]

I'm right there with you. Weddings aren't my thing anyway but the one time I was a bridesmaid things got way out of hand.

[BostonKisses]

Holy shit, that's a lot! No thanks. It's one thing if the dress and alterations cost $200 or less, but tacking on at least half of the cost of the actual dress? Geeze. Can you check out a local seamstress to see if you can get it done for significantly less? I did that for one of my bestie's wedding, and instead of having the bridal shop nail me almost $200 to alter a dress they totally mis-measured me for (and were snotty assholes to boot, which is hilarious because I snarkily called them out on it, saying I was engaged and just checked their rude asses off my list of shops to patronize), I got it altered for $30.

I know dresses are getting expensive, but damn some of these brides need to reign themselves in a bit with the price tags. Odds are excellent that if you really like a certain kind of bridesmaid dress, especially if it's a designer, there will be a less expensive version that is identical or at least very similar that you can get so your bridesmaids aren't breaking the bank just to be in your wedding!

[TheEleventhHour]

Jan 22, 2015 14:12:19 GMT -5 violette said:

That is completely unreasonable.  No one ever wears those dresses again, no matter what the bride says.

My pregnant sister is scheduled to be a bridesmaid in her sister-in-law's wedding. It's in a rural campground 3000 miles from where my sister lives, three months after her due date, and the dress the bride picked doesn't come in plus sizes.

F*** that noise. I gently encouraged her to drop out of the bridal party. We'll see if she does.

Shit like the bolded PISSES ME OFF. If you are going to ask someone to purchase a dress, travel to your wedding, etc. at least fucking keep them in mind when planning your wedding! I find it so rude that a bride could get so caught up in her pretty, pretty princess day that she just completely ignores the needs of her bridal party. Picking a dress available in sizes for everyone is really not asking a lot! 

[helenahhandbasket]

Uggg-- I am glad these days are behind me.

The last batch of my close friends got married in 2011-2012. I was a BM in 2 of those weddings. And I also come from the land of formal, mulit course plated meals and open bar fancy schmance weddings and the "cover your plate mentalitly" (which I do not subscribe to, BTW).

I think the cheapest wedding I was a part of I still wound up shelling out around 1600, and we did not do a destination bachelorette party.

[ontherock2012]

The cost makes me glad I've never been in a wedding party.

[skategirl128]

I'm in my SILs wedding this summer and the cost is getting to me too! The dress isn't so expensive but by the time I add up all the costs of throwing a shower etc it's crazy!

[helenahhandbasket]

Jan 22, 2015 15:05:14 GMT -5 skategirl128 said:

I'm in my SILs wedding this summer and the cost is getting to me too! The dress isn't so expensive but by the time I add up all the costs of throwing a shower etc it's crazy!

Yeah, in my experiences, this + the gifts have been what's made the costs add up quickly.

[penguin129]

Yikes! I don't even remember how much my dress and shoes cost for the wedding I was in 2 1/2 years ago.

[BostonKisses]

Jan 22, 2015 15:11:38 GMT -5 helenahhandbasket said:

Jan 22, 2015 15:05:14 GMT -5 skategirl128 said:

I'm in my SILs wedding this summer and the cost is getting to me too! The dress isn't so expensive but by the time I add up all the costs of throwing a shower etc it's crazy!

Yeah, in my experiences, this + the gifts have been what's made the costs add up quickly.

Totally agree.  Even when you get a cheaper dress and all, all of the other things could end up costing you a bundle.

And this is why I'm still grateful that my SIL didn't ask me or my other SIL to be bridesmaids for her wedding last year.  Although I fully admit I was bummed that she didn't ask Judith to be her flower girl.  She didn't have one at all, but I was kind of hoping she'd ask because dammit I wanted to get a super fancy dress for my kid, and she would've looked adorable!

[kld2014]

Ugh, I'm sorry! I've been in a few weddings and its always a pain. All I have left to be married are SIL and two of my sisters so hopefully those will go smoothly but well see.

[iforgotmylogin]

My BFF got married last year and as MOH, I probably spent upward of $2.5k on parties, trips, gifts, clothes.

I'm done.

[socomama]

I was in two weddings in 2014. One my husband was also in, one was across the country. It was so expensive- probably half the price of what we spent on our wedding!

I found a local woman who charges less than half of what the bridal shops do, and she does a much better job. Hopefully you can find a cheaper option for alterations.

[esmerelda]

I was in 2 weddings last year and I don't even speak to one of the brides any more. Its way to much crap to deal with.

[allydncr]

Yeah, those alteration costs are crazy! The alterations on my wedding dress only cost me $15. Found a local little old lady that worked out of her house just doing wedding dress alterations, and all I needed was a bustle.

But I would actually love to be a bridesmaid again. I've only been one once. I had a good experience though, and it didn't cost me that much ($130 for the dress, no alterations, MOH paid for the shower, etc).

[Deleted]

I definitely think brides should relax a little about this stuff.

I asked my bridesmaids to wear whatever they wanted that made them feel beautiful. They could already own it or buy something new, whatever. We were pretty young and most had to travel to the wedding (they also slept at my house and I helped with airfare for the most in need) and I was wearing a (non wedding) dress I already owned so it just seemed right. They all looked great and were amazingly color coordinated without planning it at all!

I've been in four weddings, and for three of those I got to pick my own dress too. The brides for two specified color and general style, the third said wear whatever you want, and we coordinated on our own so we wouldn't look too crazy. For one I spent $300 to have it made for me, for one $50 at a boutique, for the most recent I spent $32 on an unworn J Crew dress at a thrift store that was $300 new. I have reworn the dresses I picked myself (or will, I've been too pregnant to rewear the most recent one). I love those dresses. I have never reworn the one picked by the bride that matched all the other bridesmaids dresses. I finally just donated it, cringing at how much I had spent on it.

[namastebiotches]

I've only been asked to be in one wedding.. my older brother's. I kind of agreed at first. My mom got the dress for me but SIL chose a strapless dress & it ended up looking horrendous & was too small (my boobs are ginormous.) Time ran out for alterations/ordering a new one so I respectably declined which was a few weeks before the wedding (in my defense, it took her forever to choose dresses so that's when I got the damn thing, everything was last minute.) I still think they hold that against me.
Brides can be terrible. Thankfully, I'm not close to anyone really so I don't see myself being asked again. I think my brother only asked me because I'm his sister & that was the right thing to do (we're not close at all.. especially now.)

[trexbeck]

Ugh! I've been in a few weddings and the dresses were always a reasonable cost I guess, but I have never worn those dresses again...the one for my SIL was a full length, heavy ball gown....in August outside. The bride even asked me if I could get extensions since I have short hair. I was like wut? no.

[esmerelda]

I should add the last wedding I was in she wanted us to all have updoos I chopped all my hair off 2 months before the wedding. Oops