How are you different and alike

[Oldmomhubbard]

In what ways do you think you are different from your mother/person or people who raised you?  Do you think you are consciously different-you made the decision to be different because you didn't like being raised a certain way?  How are you like your mom/person who raised you?  

[Oldmomhubbard]

My Mom stayed home with us but taught piano a couple of afternoons a week so she was my main influence. I'm not very much like my Mom, I think it's mostly personality...she's super quiet and I'm not. I think I'm more involved with my kid's activities and helping with homework, etc. than my mom was. I ran track in high school for two years and they never came to a meet. I promised myself I wouldn't do that so I try to get to everything (this is going to be hard this spring with my 10-yr-old on two baseball teams and a baby in the house) and be supportive and interested in what they're interested in. Also, my mom's a germaphobe and my dad does not like to lose sleep. If I was sick in the night, I was on my own. I remember when I was in elementary school and I was nauseous all night waiting to get sick and no one own old stay up with me. I slept on the floor in the hall so I didn't have to be alone in my room. I'm kind of a germaphobe, too, but I won't do that to my kids.

My parents were pretty strict and I hated it at the time, but I realize that it was done for my own good and I'm grateful they made hard choices and wouldn't let me do a lot of things other kids were doing. I have a total appreciation now for how that was for them...13-yr-old girls are hard!

[redwellies]

Alike: opinionated, afraid of confrontation, strong willed, ridiculous and loud when drinking, word vomit (read: sometimes don't think before we speak), over sharer, stubborn, giving

Different:
-she takes the non confrontational route of being passive aggressive and I just shut down and stew until I blow up
-she is not involved in her kids' educations but, thinks she totally is and I plan on being extremely involved

[crawford411]

Alike: My mom and I are a lot alikein how we are. She is really strong-willed, very smart, loves to work. She's chatty and so am I. She is caring and considerate.

Different: My mom can't sit down and relax or watch TV. I love to just hang out snd do nothing. I share a lot of interests with my dad (mystery books, TV shows, movies). My mom is too busy to do a lot of this stuff. My mom is also an obsessive cleaner and I'm not. I don't like mess, but I don't mind clutter.

[amandajean12]

Alike: I want to be like her the fact that my mom made us her number one priority, when in her social circle the norm would have been leaving us with Nannys and sitters (even though the mom's weren't working). She sat in ice rinks being cold for 12 years so I could figure skate, and took me all over the country so I could do what I wanted to do.

Alike: She and my dad had high expectations for us, especially academically, and demanded complete honesty, but gave us a lot of freedom and I plan to do the same.

Different: She doesn't speak up when she's unhappy. Instead she's just passive aggressive, or freezes you out. She's NEVER confrontational. I hate that... if I'm unhappy, you know it. I'd rather deal with it and be done. I don't want to have that kind of lingering tension between me and my daughter, ever.

Different: She judges me and DH for spending too much money on traveling and doing things that she wouldn't do. But we really want our daughter to see the world, and experience fun things, and would rather spend our money that way than having fancier cars or living in a more prestigious neighborhood. Just a difference in lifestyle choices.

[purplehippo]

I am very much like my Mom, but also like my Dad. And they are so opposite. My Mom is very organized, logical, scheduled, puzzle-minded, and a worry wart. My Dad is chill, laid back, can't get somewhere on time to save his life, go with the flow, and old-fashioned.

I like to think I got the best of both of them. But sometimes the best qualities aren't the best for the moment. Like, laid back is great until your child is about to fall into hot lava. Scheduled and organized is great until your husband wants to do something random and sweet for you and you're too worried about what needs to be done to enjoy it.

But there are things about both of them that I have actively tried to become and not to become.

[MrsTinMKE]

Unlike my mother in that she is BSC and I am not Harsh but my mom is a little out there. My brothers and I never were her #1 priority. She made a lot of bad decisions and wasn't the best mother. To this day I question whether or not she really loves me. Womp womp. I will do everything I can to make sure my daughter never feels that way. Also I have much higher expectations for myself and my family than she has for herself. She just settles for whatever.

Alike: I think I am caring and sympathetic as she is (for the most part).

[syllessa]

My dad and I are nothing alike, and we barely get along.

My mom and I are almost the same person. We think alike, look alike, sound alike, and have the same parenting views. But she's a stronger, better woman than I am.

[knittymeggy]

I have my father's demeanor. That is both a good thing and a bad, I have a hell of a temper, but I at least I can take care of myself.

[mrscjmb]

Jan 22, 2015 21:46:03 GMT -5 syllessa said:

My dad and I are nothing alike, and we barely get along.

My mom and I are almost the same person. We think alike, look alike, sound alike, and have the same parenting views. But she's a stronger, better woman than I am.

syllessa FWIW, I think you're a very strong, amazing woman. I know you're facing a lot of challenges at the moment but I just want to say, you are a-fucking-mazing. You are lovable and capable.

[kaylajade]

My mum is extremely materialistic. I absolutely hate it.
I think I am pretty much terrified of becoming my mother and have made conscious decisions to be the opposite.
She has never really worked and pretty much lives off my stepdad, with nothing really to fill her time except family stuff.

It has made me want to build my qualifications. As the youngest, I was also the first to move out on my own. My family is not very self sufficient and I suppose it makes me very independent. I don't want my kids to grow up feeling the way my mother makes me feel. Which is often inadequate.
She thinks her way is best and gossips about each of her children to another of them. She criticizes my partner for his wages, because she bases everything on money.

I don't hold much faith in items or money. I am more interested in substance and being your own person, whatever makes you happy.
Sorry turned into a bit of a mother rant.

[puppyspit]

Alike:
Mom sacrificed a lot for her loved ones to be happy and fulfilled. We are prepping to move out of state for the first time so we can live in a neighborhood with fantastic schools. I hope one day LO realizes this was for her benefit
She had something about her that made people trust her from the word "go". I'm a killer on the sales floor, but I have the ethic to keep me from taking advantage of people. Instant trust is a necessity in my field.
People tell me I look like her (I don't see it, but ok) and sound like her (I could do a mean Mom impersonation over the phone)

Different:
She got sick all the time, I'm rarely sick (thanks for those genes, Dad!!)
She wanted a huge family and started young to try to make that happen. We waited 10 years longer than she did to start our family. One more LO and we will be done
She was so giving that some people took advantage of her sweetness and walked all over her. I'm more of a pit bull


Gosh... This really makes me miss her. I would say makes me miss her all over again, but it never goes away

Those of you who have your parents, or whoever raised you, alive to love and participate in the lives of your little ones: take advantage of that gift! I'd give just about anything to have my Mom here to ask her advice... See her beam when holding LO... Heck, I'd even love to hear her bad/crazy advice because that's what they did

I'm going to go snuggle my LO now...