Anyone else with non-talkers?

[mrsdonati]

Elena is in the same boat. She has speech therapy once a week for an hour. She also has about 20 or so words (most are understandable to someone other than myself and DH). The words she does say aren't perfect, but pretty close.

[summergirl1211]

Hi girlie! Good to see you around again! I'm sorry that you're going through this with Andrew. It sounds like you're getting him a lot of help and I hope it makes a difference! I don't have any suggestions but just know that I'm thinking of you guys and hope you get some answers. Have you been given other referrals or anything else to try? Sending you hugs.

Also, I don't think I knew that baby #2 was born. Congratulations on Natalie Marie! She's beautiful! How is she doing?

[jfresh]

Oliver also has a speech delay. He has therapy weekly and will be going to developmental preschool when he turns three. He also probably has about 20 words.

[jfresh]

@singingirl96 I know I am sensitive about it, but that really isn't the appropriate word to use. Speech isnt Oliver's only delay and he is considered special needs. I just urge you to not use that in the future.

[mrsrek10]

First, if you have a true concern that your child has an Intellectual Disability, the first thing you need to know is that the word retarded is not used anymore because in our society it is equivalent to a racial slur. (Truly, legally people with disabilities are a protected minority group just as people of minority races are protected.) The term Mental Retardation has been replaced by Intellectual Disabilty.

Second, you have valid concerns about your child and should advocate on his behalf to get all the possible testing you can. Early Intervention is research proven to make a big difference in later life outcomes. If you can't get anyone to listen, and are in the USA, at age 3 Child Find kicks in and your locally zoned, public school has the legal (federal) responsibility of helping you all with any delays.

jfresh, you rock and Oliver is a blessed boy to have you

[origamimommy]

I agree mrsrek10. Advocate for him.

Also, please think before you speak. You've had issues on the board before for being insensitive, and what you said was rude.

[summergirl1211]

@singingirl96, I'm sorry to hear it has been such a rough road with Natalie, along with everything you're dealing with for Andrew. I hope things start looking up for you soon. However, I agree with the ladies here. What you wrote was offensive and hurtful. Even if you didn't mean it that way, I hope you would see that what you said was wrong.

jfresh: I love you lady. And sweet Oliver is so very lucky to have you. You are one of the strongest women I know and I admire you.

[aimeefarrahfowler]

Not trying to start something here, but someone who is on here every day used the R word last week talking about this forum, and no one said one single word about it.

[summergirl1211]

Jan 23, 2015 10:48:57 GMT -5 aimeefarrahfowler said:

Not trying to start something here, but someone who is on here every day used the R word last week talking about this forum, and no one said one single word about it.

I must have missed that. It drives me nuts when anyone says it, regardless of the context. 

[mrsrek10]

Jan 23, 2015 10:48:57 GMT -5 aimeefarrahfowler said:

Not trying to start something here, but someone who is on here every day used the R word last week talking about this forum, and no one said one single word about it.

I didn't see the previous time it was used. I also wasn't trying to be ugly. I was trying to be informative. I try to believe when people use that term, they really don't know the true magnitude of it now.

[aimeefarrahfowler]

Jan 23, 2015 11:06:54 GMT -5 mrsrek10 said:

Jan 23, 2015 10:48:57 GMT -5 aimeefarrahfowler said:

Not trying to start something here, but someone who is on here every day used the R word last week talking about this forum, and no one said one single word about it.

I didn't see the previous time it was used. I also wasn't trying to be ugly. I was trying to be informative. I try to believe when people use that term, they really don't know the true magnitude of it now.

I understand that, I didn't think it was nasty. Just seemed a little unfair when the other person used it in a much more derogatory way like "Am I R- or is this not working?" kind of use and they didn't get jumped on like this.

[origamimommy]

Jan 23, 2015 10:56:01 GMT -5 summergirl1211 said:

Jan 23, 2015 10:48:57 GMT -5 aimeefarrahfowler said:

Not trying to start something here, but someone who is on here every day used the R word last week talking about this forum, and no one said one single word about it.

I must have missed that. It drives me nuts when anyone says it, regardless of the context. 

Same here.

[mrsrek10]

Jan 23, 2015 11:10:41 GMT -5 aimeefarrahfowler said:

Jan 23, 2015 11:06:54 GMT -5 mrsrek10 said:

I didn't see the previous time it was used. I also wasn't trying to be ugly. I was trying to be informative. I try to believe when people use that term, they really don't know the true magnitude of it now.

I understand that, I didn't think it was nasty. Just seemed a little unfair when the other person used it in a much more derogatory way like "Am I R- or is this not working?" kind of use and they didn't get jumped on like this.

Yeah, I definitely didn't see that but hope whoever said it lurks here to understand that it is not ok. My daily world is filled with children and adults with disabilities so I am well aware of how things like using the R word make THEM feel (bc they do have feelings too) and how their loved ones feel too. But, the flip side of that is that I realize my exposure makes me more aware than most of terms and etiquette, etc. so I do try to educate before ripping into someone. Now, if I explain it to you (general you) and you continue to use it around me, it isn't pretty. I have no patience for intolerance or ignorance after education. I will rip a new one until my message is understood. But usually I don't have to go there. ;-)

[trixi282]

Jan 23, 2015 11:10:41 GMT -5 aimeefarrahfowler said:

Jan 23, 2015 11:06:54 GMT -5 mrsrek10 said:

I didn't see the previous time it was used. I also wasn't trying to be ugly. I was trying to be informative. I try to believe when people use that term, they really don't know the true magnitude of it now.

I understand that, I didn't think it was nasty. Just seemed a little unfair when the other person used it in a much more derogatory way like "Am I R- or is this not working?" kind of use and they didn't get jumped on like this.

I definitely don't remember seeing that one... I would have said something then too.  I hate the "R" word and think it's crazy when people use in contexts like you just quoted.  There are so many other words or phrases that you can use.

[aimeefarrahfowler]

Jan 23, 2015 11:34:12 GMT -5 mrsrek10 said:

Jan 23, 2015 11:10:41 GMT -5 aimeefarrahfowler said:

I understand that, I didn't think it was nasty. Just seemed a little unfair when the other person used it in a much more derogatory way like "Am I R- or is this not working?" kind of use and they didn't get jumped on like this.

Yeah, I definitely didn't see that but hope whoever said it lurks here to understand that it is not ok. My daily world is filled with children and adults with disabilities so I am well aware of how things like using the R word make THEM feel (bc they do have feelings too) and how their loved ones feel too. But, the flip side of that is that I realize my exposure makes me more aware than most of terms and etiquette, etc. so I do try to educate before ripping into someone. Now, if I explain it to you (general you) and you continue to use it around me, it isn't pretty. I have no patience for intolerance or ignorance after education. I will rip a new one until my message is understood. But usually I don't have to go there. ;-)

I found the post and they've edited it since then, so I guess they realized it was a wrong thing to say. It was definitely up for like a good 12 hours or so.

[Deleted]

aimeefarrahfowler I also saw that post and I pm'd the person who used it and let her know. She was very gracious and appreciative and changed it immediately. I didn't call her out here because I think she is a great lady who, I would hope by now we all know, made a mistake and meant no offense. It's also not my style. Singing girl is not really an active member and has made several errors in judgement. There is a difference I think.

[jodielyn10]

Jan 23, 2015 9:42:18 GMT -5 @singingirl96 said:

I just don't want people to think he is "Intellectually Disabled" because sometimes he just whines, grunts, and moans out of frustration.

I won't speak for anyone else here, @singingirl96, but for me, the problem wasn't just that you used the above word, but that your concern seemed to be less for your son's developement and more for how other people would view him/judge him.  Considering we have J12ers who have posted regularly over the last 3 years and have totally awesome kids who are delayed in particular ways, it seems incredibly insensitive to come here and say that your fear is that people might assume your son has special needs.

[Deleted]

Jan 26, 2015 16:16:18 GMT -5 @singingirl96 said:

Jan 23, 2015 17:18:32 GMT -5 momskie said:

aimeefarrahfowler Singing girl is not really an active member and has made several errors in judgement. There is a difference I think.

Several? Really? 

I admit I used a not so nice word WELL OVER A YEAR AGO when venting about my boss.  But really?  Several?  Please check your facts before you start offending me.

I definitely did not mean to offend you, just trying to explain what I thought may be the issue. 

[mrsrek10]

Ummmm, I was not ugly to you nor do I even remember you from the past. I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt and help you not get jumped on in the future. Considering the class I am teaching tonight is called "exceptional children" and educates all education majors on the correct language plus on how awesome exceptional kids are, I try to spread knowledge and understanding. I am actually offended by your last post of being sorry kids with special needs exist. That is very polarizing and I am sure their parents appreciate your thoughts on their child's value. If you have a child who is delayed and you may be around other parents of children with disabilities, you may want to reevaluate how you talk or you will not be very welcomed in that community...and trust me, you will need the support.

[Deleted]

Jan 26, 2015 16:21:00 GMT -5 @singingirl96 said:

Jan 26, 2015 16:14:40 GMT -5 jodielyn10 said:

I won't speak for anyone else here, @singingirl96, but for me, the problem wasn't just that you used the above word, but that your concern seemed to be less for your son's developement and more for how other people would view him/judge him.  Considering we have J12ers who have posted regularly over the last 3 years and have totally awesome kids who are delayed in particular ways, it seems incredibly insensitive to come here and say that your fear is that people might assume your son has special needs.

That is also a legitimate concern. No one wants to have your child judged as special needs when they are not.  I'm sorry that special need children exist! No child should be born with any defects!  My children are special needs in other ways (Andrew has a heart defect and Natalie is severely delayed due to prematurity).  I am sensitive to criticism.  I didn't use the word to offend anyone.  I'm sorry I used the R word or offended someone because I'm concerned people will perceive my son as "intelectually disabled" 



I keep trying to form a response but all I can say is I am not sorry that special needs children exist! They are some of the most amazing people I have known! I also have no concerns how people will perceive my children, so we are just very different people. 

[heatherbee]

Jan 26, 2015 16:33:34 GMT -5 mrsrek10 said:

Ummmm, I was not ugly to you nor do I even remember you from the past. I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt and help you not get jumped on in the future. Considering the class I am teaching tonight is called "exceptional children" and educates all education majors on the correct language plus on how awesome exceptional kids are, I try to spread knowledge and understanding. I am actually offended by your last post of being sorry kids with special needs exist. That is very polarizing and I am sure their parents appreciate your thoughts on their child's value. If you have a child who is delayed and you may be around other parents of children with disabilities, you may want to reevaluate how you talk or you will not be very welcomed in that community...and trust me, you will need the support.

Very much agree with all of this. Your wording was once again very offensive, even if you didn't mean for it to be. Im not trying to "gang" up on you by agreeing with msrek10, but hope that us pointing out how offensive your words might come across will help you to not talk to someone IRL the same way ...

[mrsrek10]

Jan 26, 2015 16:42:25 GMT -5 momskie said:

Jan 26, 2015 16:21:00 GMT -5 @singingirl96 said:

That is also a legitimate concern. No one wants to have your child judged as special needs when they are not.  I'm sorry that special need children exist! No child should be born with any defects!  My children are special needs in other ways (Andrew has a heart defect and Natalie is severely delayed due to prematurity).  I am sensitive to criticism.  I didn't use the word to offend anyone.  I'm sorry I used the R word or offended someone because I'm concerned people will perceive my son as "intelectually disabled" 



I keep trying to form a response but all I can say is I am not sorry that special needs children exist! They are some of the most amazing people I have known! I also have no concerns how people will perceive my children so we are very different people. 

Amen, momskie! There is so much more I want to say but I am refraining. The fact is, both of singinggirl's, whatever her name is, children sound as though they will receive specialized services in the future. It is a shame to me that she is so worried about the impression they will give others. Thankfully, all those service providers like myself will love those babies and think they are awesome, no matter what this mom's social circle or whoever thinks.

I got to get off this thread...this and the steroids for my strep are making me irritated. I prefer to stay laid back. Lol

[jodielyn10]

Jan 26, 2015 16:21:00 GMT -5 @singingirl96 said:

Jan 26, 2015 16:14:40 GMT -5 jodielyn10 said:

I won't speak for anyone else here, @singingirl96, but for me, the problem wasn't just that you used the above word, but that your concern seemed to be less for your son's developement and more for how other people would view him/judge him.  Considering we have J12ers who have posted regularly over the last 3 years and have totally awesome kids who are delayed in particular ways, it seems incredibly insensitive to come here and say that your fear is that people might assume your son has special needs.

That is also a legitimate concern. No one wants to have your child judged as special needs when they are not.  I'm sorry that special need children exist! No child should be born with any defects!  My children are special needs in other ways (Andrew has a heart defect and Natalie is severely delayed due to prematurity).  I am sensitive to criticism.  I didn't use the word to offend anyone.  I'm sorry I used the R word or offended someone because I'm concerned people will perceive my son as "intelectually disabled" 

"Defects"? Really?
And no, no one wants their child to be judged in a negative manner REGARDLESS of if they have special needs or don't.  But if my child had special needs, what others think of him would not be my first concern.  I wouldn't go to a message board to ask for the support of other women because people assume my son special needs. I would be asking for support to give my son everything he needs to thrive and succeed.

ETA: not trying to pile on you, honestly.  But you just keep digging the hole deeper.  You should probably step back and consider your words a little more carefully before you post.

[origamimommy]

We have our first GBCB of the new GBCB!

But really, this is a support group, but we are not babycenter (or the bump, amiright?). We are honest with each other and you said something that was hurtful to our friends. The last time you made an insensitive remark it was "I'm sorry but she is..." which is not an apology. No one here was overly mean to you. You can't show up twice, say something completely rude, and then expect us to hold hands and sing camp songs with you.

To answer your first question, yes there are still non talkers. I would keep up with EI and make sure he gets all of the help he needs and starts chatting your ears off. I wouldn't worry about what other people think of him, just get him the help he needs. Good luck.

[bantyrooster]

Ya I will just go ahead and say I don't think you will fit here. We are not a support group we are friends, who have know each other for years. A simple " wow guys that was a horrible word choice, I am so sorry " would have gone miles.

[cbear]

[sunflowersummer]

Jan 26, 2015 19:44:57 GMT -5 origamimommy said:

We have our first GBCB of the new GBCB!

That's got to be some kind of record!