Today isn't easy.

[leahks77]

Sorry to be a total AW with this one, but ladies I'm just having a tough day. Today is my EDD for my first loss. I'm just struggling to hold it together. I worked last night, and all I could think was, I shouldn't be here right now. I should be holding my new baby. Or whining that I'm still pregnant, haha, and knowing I'll be holding a baby soon. Or I should be 14 weeks along with the next one, and at least have that to look forward to and distract me (although it wouldn't fix this hole...) Life just isn't fair sometimes. I was so angry about it all this week... And that was a little easier to handle than this grief that is creeping in... DS will be up from a nap soon and I will soak up some cuddles and cry a little and then hopefully feel a little better, but in the meantime, and spare thoughts and prayers and healing energy you could spare to send to me and my sweet angel would be so greatly appreciated. Thanks for letting me talk this out... I know you all know these emotions too well. ((Hugs)) back to whoever needs them today.

[cbowl]

I'm so sorry - hugs!

[PiradicalMaid]

No need to apologize, that's why we're here.

I'm so sorry today has been rough. It's not fair at all. Big hugs.

[soultrane]

Oh leahks77, extra hugs today. Do what you need to do to get through it and grab those cuddles when she wakes up. I'll be thinking of you.

[jmc11511]

So sorry. Big hugs.

[frenchteachermama]

EDDs are so tough. Hope you get lots of cuddles and maybe a nice glass of wine too ?

[boobacat]

I'm so sorry leahks77. No need to apologize for a hard time. We are here for you. Take care of yourself!

[leahks77]

Thanks ladies. DS woke up in a fantastic mood so it's been cuddle central. Now we are heading out into the backyard to eat watermelon.
frenchteachermama I do love wine, but I've had margaritas on my mind since your post the other day. So I think I'm going to the store for ingredients!

[littleducky]

I'm so sorry, leahks77. Anniversaries are so tough. :*(

[frenchteachermama]

Jun 5, 2015 14:21:50 GMT -5 leahks77 said:

Thanks ladies. DS woke up in a fantastic mood so it's been cuddle central. Now we are heading out into the backyard to eat watermelon.
frenchteachermama I do love wine, but I've had margaritas on my mind since your post the other day. So I think I'm going to the store for ingredients!

If you have a trader joes by you they make the BEST margarita mix!! (((HUGS)))

[soultrane]

Glad that your afternoon seems to be going better! Margaritas really are the cure for most things.

[leahks77]

I am doing better, thank you all so so much. Sadly, I was informed by my best friend that one of our mutual friends had a loss a month ago, and she asked me to reach out. Talking to her was good and therapeutic, for both of us. I realized I'm doing a lot better than I thought, and I was able to listen and support and let her talk about whatever she needed. She hadn't talked to anyone yet. Loss is so isolating. I did mention our supportive board here, so hopefully she will join when she is ready.
Thank you again ladies. You are all so appreciated.

[soultrane]

I'm sorry for your friend but I totally get what you mean about it being therapeutic to talk to someone you know IRL who actually understands. While I wouldn't wish this on anyone, being able to connect with others is huge and I'm sure it meant a lot to her for you to reach out. This feels weird to type and I hope it comes out as I mean for it to, but I'm happy that you were able to take your experience and turn it into a positive today by helping someone else.

For that, I reward you with a margarita. You deserve it!

[leahks77]

Yay margarita for me! And thank you soultrane, that didn't come out weird at all. I totally agree.
ETA margarita, nor margarine. And I haven't even had one yet...

[fabk]

Big hugs leahks77, big hugs!

[o2girl]

So many (((((hugs)))))

I'm so sorry. Loss just fucking sucks.

[ellebelle]

Sorry I'm late but more ((hugs)) EDDs are always tough. I hope you got to make those margaritas!

[txmommy14]

Oh, I am so sorry. My heart hurts for you. Such a tough milestone.