Weekly Check-In 6.8

[soultrane]

How's everyone doing? Physically? Emotionally?


How was your weekend?


Anything new to share?


What was your best moment with your LO(s) this week?


Bonus GTKY so we can think happy thoughts:
Best summer reading recommendation?


Informal poll:
What are your thoughts on adding EDDs, loss anniversaries, pregnancy announcements, etc. in the check-in each week?

[frenchteachermama]

How's everyone doing? Physically? Emotionally?

I'm doing ok. I need to get AF today in order to keep my Friday surgery date and of course she's nowhere in site I'm feeling very down about everything, almost empty. My youngest woke up puking this morning so instead of having a day to myself to re-group (and see my therapist) I'll be trapped inside with a sick babe.

How was your weekend?

I had such a wonderful weekend at home with my parents in Chicago. Wonderful food, weather, friends, and laughter.



What was your best moment with your LO(s) this week?

I had such a wonderful time taking the girls back to Chicago for my neighborhood art fair, one of my favorite memories from my childhood. They loved it as much as i did when I was little!


Bonus GTKY so we can think happy thoughts:
Best summer reading recommendation?

I'm reading Big Little Lies and it's really great so far. I also read The Invention of Wings, All the Light We Cannot See

Informal poll:
What are your thoughts on adding EDDs, loss anniversaries, pregnancy announcements, etc. in the check-in each week?

Sure!

[soultrane]

How's everyone doing? Physically? Emotionally?
Physically, fine. Emotionally, all over the place. SIL is pregnant and I'm really put off by the way she handled telling us. She wasn't very supportive when we had our loss and she didn't acknowledge it at all when telling us - just had her LO rehearse a cutesy "I'm going to be a sister" announcement. Thankfully FIL gave us a heads up (because he knew we needed it) so we were able to kind of brace ourselves when she called. Now I have to make myself congratulate her. She only spoke to DH on the phone so I didn't have to hide my feelings at all (I very childishly sat on the other side of the room and made faces at the phone) but I should probably be the bigger person and congratulate her, right?

How was your weekend?
We went to step-bro's baby shower on Saturday which was nice and not super baby-centric so I got through that without an issue. I also made a kickass French Toast bake for it that was devoured. After finding out about SIL's news, I wanted to blow off some steam so we got some Not Your Father's Root Beer (delicious stuff, by the way!!) and played MarioKart for the first time in ages. It was a nice, fun night with DH.

Anything new to share?
Just that my SIL is still a snatch sometimes.

What was your best moment with your LO(s) this week?
I took him to DH's practice on Wednesday night and he was such a good boy. He loves to watch the "big boys" and started trying to wrestle me in the middle of it. It was nice to spend some QT with both of them and it's always nice to hear the parents compliment how well-behaved he is.

Bonus GTKY so we can think happy thoughts:
Best summer reading recommendation?
I love light reading in the summer, so I usually go for old-school Hollywood bios and stuff like that. I love anything related to Lucille Ball so I have a few books lined up on my Kindle for when work starts to slow down.

Informal poll:
What are your thoughts on adding EDDs, loss anniversaries, pregnancy announcements, etc. in the check-in each week?
My thought is that I would be happy to add those to this thread each week, or we can start a separate thread. I think that having a dedicated space to offer support for those who are having a tough week would be a good thing, whether it's here or somewhere else.

[soultrane]

frenchteachermama, fingers crossed that your body cooperates so you don't have to postpone your surgery! I hope your LO feels better quickly and that it's just a quick bug. On the plus side, it sounds like your time in Chicago was wonderful!

[Missa13]

How's everyone doing? Physically? Emotionally?
Physically I'm fine. Ready to get off of pelvic rest! Emotionally is a different story. When I'm with my boys I'm good, I'm managing to focus 99% on them and actually have fun and smile. It's after they're asleep or when I'm at work that I really really struggle. We're very open about all our losses but I still have to be professional at work so there is a lot of faking it going on. Is draining and makes me irrationally angry. I guess I'm more angry than sad right now, though I know that can change at any moment. I just want to kick things and punch people.


How was your weekend?
It was good. We had FIL's family reunion and my husband's grandma's 90th birthday party. Then yesterday we grilled with our neighbors that have a 2 year old and 4 year old girl. We set up an inflatable pool and the kids just ran and ran and ran. I almost feel guilty for having so much fun, like my mourning should make laughing or smiling not okay. I don't want to totally fall apart like I did last time because that's a whole different kind of guilt. But it's weird.


Anything new to share?
We're considering donor eggs/embryos. Something came up that makes it financially possible so we're really evaluating if it's what is right for our family.

What was your best moment with your LO(s) this week?
All of them. Truly. Even during the rough moments I kept thinking about how badly we wanted them and how truly lucky we are.


Bonus GTKY so we can think happy thoughts:
Best summer reading recommendation? I don't know if it's necessarily summer reading, but my favorite author of all times is Kim Harrison.


Informal poll:
What are your thoughts on adding EDDs, loss anniversaries, pregnancy announcements, etc. in the check-in each week? I'm good with what everyone else would like. But the pregnancy announcements turn me off a little. On one hand I want to cheer everyone along, but on another I know that right now I would likely avoid the checkin if I thought there might be one. I know it's selfish. I do lurk CAR when I'm feeling up to it so I feel like I would see intros there when I was prepared for them and could offer love that way.

[leahks77]

Hi ladies
I hope AF shows up today frenchteachermama! And u hope your LO feels better soon!
soultrane boo to your SIL. So sorry she's being snatchy. Were you close previously? I would say if so, a text to congrats and an honest explanation that it's hard is fine. If you weren't? A brief text and no squeeing is fine.
Missa13 I'm sorry things are so emotionally up and down. Don't have any guilt about feeling okay sometimes. That sounds totally normal. I'm glad your boys can put a smile on your face.
unringthebell fingers crossed for natural miracle bfp! And DS was also a super sleeper this weekend! I hope it's a trend for both of them. He slept until 652 this morning. Latest ever. Yay!

[leahks77]

AFM, physically I'm okay. 7DPO and trying to be realistic. Our timing was excellent but I don't think my body is back on track yet... Emotionally okay. But so many GD pregnancy announcements this weekend. Might need a social media break...
Weekend was good! Wedding was fun. My mom and her boyfriend (who I love) came and watched DS and he was an absolutely perfectly well behaved toddler. Didn't cry when we left or anything. I was so proud
New to share? Nope.
Best moment with LO(s)? See above And sleeping until after 630 two days in a row? Amazing.
Bonus GTKY: I'm so behind on new summer reading, so I will be following this closely!
Regarding announcements, BFPs, EDDs, etc: I think it is really nice to acknowledge loss dates and EDDs. They are ignored too much IRL and it's so hard. However I am okay with separate posts for those too. They deserve extra hugs. As far as BFPs go, I'm okay with them being posted after a warning, like on the CAL check in? So you can skip them if need be. It's easier than seeing people show up on a BMB for me. But I'm okay with whatever!

[jmc11511]

How's everyone doing? Physically? Emotionally?
Physically I am fine. I'm in my FW this week so we are trying to have lots of good, quality sexy time. I'm really trying to just relax and not stress about it, but in the back of my head I'm really scared. I'm scared that I'll get my hopes up and we won't get pregnant this month and I'm scared that we will get pregnant this month and I'll be a big ball of stress.

How was your weekend? It was good! DH took DS out on Saturday morning so I could get some work done ( I have a big project I'm working on at the moment) and then Saturday afternoon we went to Disneyland for a kid free date night with DH's cousin and her husband. It was fun! We ate at a restaurant I've wanted to eat at for over a year and the food was delicious. Sunday was just a regular day at church and then family dinner.


Anything new to share? I had a good conversation with my SIL (she's pregnant). Her shower is coming up and take out of state. My Mom is going but I just don't think I can emotionally handle it. My Mom has made comments about how I'm being ridiculous and I need to be happy for my brother and my SIL. I've tried to explain that I am happy for them, but I don't want to go and have a breakdown and take anything away from her celebration. Anyway, I told my SIL I was sorry I couldn't make it and she totally understood. She's been really supportive through this. She's due a month after I would be due, so we were really excited to be pregnant together.


What was your best moment with your LO(s) this week? He has been obsessed with chocolate ice cream. He is allergic to dairy so he gets the soy or coconut milk ice cream. He is just so cute when he asks me for "brown ice cream." It cracks me up every time.


Bonus GTKY so we can think happy thoughts:
Best summer reading recommendation? I read Big Little Lies and The Husband's Secret and really liked those. I also read The Andy Cohen Diaries and loved it. But I'm a reality TV junkie so take that for what it's worth.


Informal poll:
What are your thoughts on adding EDDs, loss anniversaries, Ipregnancy announcements, etc. in the check-in each week? I personally am ok with that, but I think there are a few people that expressed that would be painful for them. I would hate to make this an uncomfortable spot for anyone. Maybe a separate thread?

[boobacat]

How's everyone doing? Physically? Emotionally? Feeling better in both ways. I have increased my exercising to try to get healthier.


How was your weekend? We went to a support group meeting run by my RE on Friday night. It was nice and a lot of free consultation but we were the only couple there with secondary IF and I cried (talking about the loss) and I'm not sure how that was perceived. There were several couples there as success stories so they buffered us I guess. It was a nice weekend all in all.


Anything new to share? See above the exercise class I attended was a little rigorous and I'm having a hard time going up/down stairs.


What was your best moment with your LO(s) this week? DS reads some of his books and I think it's adorable hearing him retell the stories. When he reads to me he says I'm a good listener.


Bonus GTKY so we can think happy thoughts:
Best summer reading recommendation? I haven't read much lately but I really enjoyed On the Corner of Bitter and Sweet.


Informal poll:
What are your thoughts on adding EDDs, loss anniversaries, pregnancy announcements, etc. in the check-in each week? It doesn't bother me at all and I like the idea but if it bothers anyone I think it should be separate. I agree, IRL EDDs and loss dates are ignored so it would be nice to get some TLC. I would love to celebrate BFPs for those here since it's a small group and I 'know' everybody.

[littleducky]

How's everyone doing? Physically? Emotionally? No complaints. I'm a little frustrated because I've been trying to lose weight, and I've been really strict about my eating, but haven't seen much in the way of results. Hoping my body starts responding soon.


How was your weekend? It was good. Very busy and I was alone with DS a lot since DH was studying for one of his architecture licensing exams. We didn't make it to the pool this weekend so hoping to make it there this evening or another night this week.

Anything new to share? Nope.


What was your best moment with your LO(s) this week? DS tried out for the gymnastics pre-team and he was SUCH a good listener and tried very hard! Skills-wise, he just wasn't at the same place as the other kids (all of whom were at least a year older than he, and were more familiar with the boys events, whereas DS is in a coed preschool gymnastics class) but I think it was a good experience for him regardless. And I was SO proud of him for trying his best and attempting each skill.


Bonus GTKY so we can think happy thoughts:
Best summer reading recommendation? I LOVE Jennifer Weiner books. Her book Good in Bed is one of my favorites.


Informal poll:
What are your thoughts on adding EDDs, loss anniversaries, pregnancy announcements, etc. in the check-in each week? I have no strong feelings either way.

[PiradicalMaid]

frenchteachermama I'm sorry you're stuck at home with a sick kiddo and that your body isn't cooperating. I'm glad you had a good time at the art fair, though!

soultrane I don't think you need to go out of your way to congratulate her. Do what feels best for you and big hugs! I'm glad the baby shower went well. French toast bake sounds amazing. So does fancy root beer and MarioKart!

Missa13 Faking it is so draining. I'm sorry you're dealing with that right now. I know what you mean about feeling guilty for being happy. I am working on saying no to guilt and being gentle with myself. GL with your decision about donor eggs/embryos!

unringthebell I'm sorry IUI didn't work out & I'll keep my fingers crossed for you! Woo hoo to sleeping through the night and your LO sounds adorable

leahks77 FX!! I'm glad you had a good time at the wedding. Another yay for sleep!

jmc11511 I know what you mean about being scared it'll happen and scared that it won't. I'm glad you had a fun date night! And that your SIL is understanding even if her mom isn't. You can obviously be happy for her and sad for yourself and do what you need to to take care of yourself! That doesn't mean you aren't happy for them, sheesh.

boobacat I hope the support group is helpful for you. I love that your DS says you're being a good listener, ha ha.

[soultrane]

Missa13, I feel ya on the guilt but I also try to remind myself to appreciate and enjoy the good things while I'm working through my loss. It's such a tough place to be though so it's a lot easier said than done.

unringthebell, hallelujah for STTN!! Such a great feeling. And it's so adorable to see the world through little eyes. What a cutie!

leahks77, fingers crossed for you!! And yes to the influx of announcements over the past week. Some are pissing me off (like SIL) but others I'm ecstatic for. I'm finding that my excitement is directly related to the amount of support I got during my loss.

jmc11511, fingers crossed for you too!! And how funny about the brown ice cream. Whenever we ask DS what his favorite kind of ice cream is, his response is always
"cold ice cream." Me too buddy!

boobacat, I hope the support group is a good outlet for you. I wonder if they would separate the types of losses into different groups if you mentioned to them that you felt a little uncomfortable, or that you were concerned that you were making others uncomfortable/upset. Good for you for being a good listener for your DS though. How cute!

littleducky, how exciting about gymnastics. I'm sure that just being there and seeing the other kids was good exposure for him! I'm also childishly giggling that a book called Good in Bed is written by someone with the last name Weiner.

PiradicalMaid, I felt like I was back in college drinking and playing MarioKart! It was a much-needed break from real life.

And thanks everyone for the feedback on the SIL issue. She's 5 years younger than us and we've never been super close but we've always gotten along. There are a lot of weird family dynamics there that I won't get into, but suffice it to say that DH's family will talk your ear off when it comes to trivial things, but they avoid real life issues like the plague. I think I'll send her a quick note to congratulate her and leave it at that. She's visiting in 2 weeks for DS's birthday party so I'll do my best to keep the peace and then maybe DH can have a talk with her at some point. Ugh, ILs.

[leahks77]

unringthebell we have a video monitor or else I would be in there all the time, haha. And I do the same thing about waiting for wake ups. I didn't go to bed until way too late the other night because I kept saying "he'll be up soon and it will be soooooo much harder for me to get up if I've just fallen asleep". So I got very little sleep. And he STTN.

[sarcaztic10]

Thank you for the check-in soultrane!

This will be a P&T but I will be back to love tit later! But for now I am sending (((hugs))) for those that need them.

AFM, I am on day 4 of Gonal-F injects and it gets slightly easier to give myself a shot each time. It would be really easy if I didn't actually have to look at where I am sticking the needle as I poke myself but I have to aim so I have to look. I have my second monitoring appt tomorrow afternoon to see where I am at. I am hoping for some good progression and 2+ good follies.

[fabk]

Jun 8, 2015 6:34:11 GMT -5 soultrane said:

How's everyone doing? Physically? Emotionally?
Okay. Still feeling overwhelmed with life. Physically. Okay. I went for my first run of the year yesterday. Def feeling it today. But will keep on running.


How was your weekend?
Meh. Got lots done around the house. Didn't make it to the cheese festival as I found the rust on my car has gotten worse. I need to save my pennies and get it fixed. 


Anything new to share?
No. Still dealing with FIL medical problems. 


What was your best moment with your LO(s) this week?
Just getting my two days with him on the weekend. He ran the last few minutes with me yesterday?


Bonus GTKY so we can think happy thoughts:
Best summer reading recommendation?
It isn't summer without an Outlander re-read and my favourite Nora Roberts books.

Informal poll:
What are your thoughts on adding EDDs, loss anniversaries, pregnancy announcements, etc. in the check-in each week?
I have no problem with it.

[txmommy14]

How's everyone doing? Physically? Emotionally?

I'm doing okay, honestly better than I thought I would be at this point. I'm really sad, but I'm not crying all of the time or anything. We've had so many friends and family members that have been so loving and supportive. I finally stopped bleeding a few days ago. I took a pregnancy test this morning and there is still some HCG in my system, ugh. I also got my blood drawn this morning because my OB wants to monitor it back to 0, so we'll see what that is. I decided that I'm not going to take my temperature, OPKs or anything this month (even though she said we can try whenever), but it looks/seems like I'm about to ovulate? We will probably try to avoid, but I thought that was confusing, and maybe my body is just confused. Hoping that means I'll get my period back sooner rather than later, but who knows!

How was your weekend?

It was good! Friday was the last day of school-we celebrated by taking DS to the pool for the first time-he LOVED it! Saturday, I can even remember what we did-which probably means we just hung out and had a good time! It was relaxing. 

Anything new to share?

I don't think so. I need to quit my job, but I'm being a chicken. I'm planning to be a stay at home Mom this next year, and was going to resign last Wednesday, but couldn't do it will of the emotions with the loss. Grad school summer classes started today, too. It was a nice month off. 

What was your best moment with your LO(s) this week?

Just getting to spend more time with him-it was so fun being home with him today and running errands together and playing. 

Bonus GTKY so we can think happy thoughts:
Best summer reading recommendation?

Hmmmm....all I've been reading lately are books for grad school (book about Autism). 

Informal poll:
What are your thoughts on adding EDDs, loss anniversaries, pregnancy announcements, etc. in the check-in each week?

I'm okay with whatever everyone else decides!

[soultrane]

sarcaztic10, good luck with the shots and at your appointment today. Fingers crossed for good news!

fabk, hugs lady. You've had a lot going on so take it easy on yourself. And car stuff sucks. I've always had the opinion that car insurance should function like health insurance and help with the routine preventative maintenance along the way. That shit is expensive to keep up with!

txmommy14, sounds like you have a great support system in place! How much longer until you're done with school?

buttercup, glad you're in a better place re. TTC! We're in the just starting to try again phase, and it's a weird mix of emotions. Sounds like you had a lovely weekend!

[leahks77]

ellebelle how are you? How are things going?

[ellebelle]

Hey lady, thanks for asking! Sorry I've been kind of hiding this week. We got our final update and we have 5 embryos that were biopsied and frozen and waiting for genetic testing. However we are most likely doing another retrieval before testing and transfer. They like to batch send them out and don't think we have a big enough sample size to get a decent number of good embryos. Since our ideal family size is 3 and my eggs won't ever get better we are thinking they're right and it makes sense to do another retrieval now rather than maybe having to do another one years down the road. Especially since we already pre-paid for a second retrieval as part of our package. So I've just been taking a step back and trying to process all that. The lab closes for July apparently so we won't be able to do another retrieval until August/September depending on when AF shows up.

[leahks77]

ellebelle I echo what unringthebell said. I'm happy you got 5 frozen and glad they will get tested. And I'm sorry that you lost some as well. And that there is more waiting involved! The lab is closed for July?? How do I get that job... I hope AF shows up when you need so you can have good timing. You're in my thoughts!