Social Media & Our LO's

[AleWife]

I think we touched on this way back when but I wanted to bring it up again to refresh thoughts on this topic. 

As most know, I'm not on Facebook. My Twitter is anonymous and I only use it to follow a bunch of people who are smarter than me. It's how I get my news and interesting info. 

My family and IL's are plugged into everything and over-share pictures; I DO NOT want this happening with our LO. I don't plan on posting pics of him very often, if ever. 

For those of you STM+'s in the same boat or FTM's preparing for it, what is your POA as far as asking friends and family to refrain from sharing pictures on their profiles?

[wamom]

I just limit my exposure of my kids and people follow suit. If there were to be someone obnoxious I would talk with the personally about my feelings on it and tell them to back off.

[kellbell82]

I keep my FB pretty private so my daughters pics are only seen by friends and family. My mom and ex inlaws and exhusband have reposted my pics of her in the past and have posted ones of her that they took but I honestly didn't mind. I guess it depends on what your concerns are? If you feel comfortable doing so maybe just make any posts with Her pics the kind where there is no share option or add a little note in any posts with Her pics that you don't want any pics reposted without permission. It might seem silly but it's your child and your choice.

[sunset30]

I'm pretty low key on Facebook, I probably only post about once a month or less and post pictures maybe 2-3 times a year. So, I'll probably follow a similar pattern about my LO. I am not opposed to having a few photos on Facebook of him, but I definitely won't go crazy and will minimize them to only very non-embarassing photos.

I'm lucky that my family is pretty limited in their postings. My dad and husband aren't even on Facebook, my mom couldn't post a picture to save her life, and my siblings all post in similar frequency to me so I'm not too worried about it.

I guess if anyone started getting out of control, I'd just have an honest conversation with them (or have your husband do it with his family) that we are trying to limit our baby's exposure on social media to a minimum and while an occasional photo is fine (you'll have to decide how frequently) you really want to limit it to special occasions (i.e., a picture of grandma and the baby at Christmas or something). I may be in the minority and not overly paranoid, but it seems to be a bit extreme to say no pictures ever until the kid is 18. But that's just my personal opinion and every parent has a right to do what they want. Since it sounds like your family is already out of control on facebook, I'd just be upfront with them from the get go and let them know you're uncomfortable with it and they need to respect your wishes. And keep a close eye on it, and keep mentioning it over and over if it becomes a problem until they get the point.

[frecklesinside]

I would have a personal conversation with the people who might be sharing pictures of your kids. And a deliberate preemptive conversation about what is ABSOLUTELY NOT OK.

I was the one that shared the story of a friend who had an open youtube channel but only shared videos of her kids for family to see. All of the videos would have like ten or so hits, normal for family watching, then ones labeled anything to do with bath time had thousands of hits or something ridiculous. It really makes you think about what you put out there.

[frecklesinside]

Also, you don't have to worry about your content being shared since you aren't really active on such sites as FB, but for me, personally, I make it so that you can't share my photos with people who aren't already my "friends." MIL doesn't get this and shares my pictures ALL OF THE TIME on her page, which is obnoxious as it is, but she has no clue that none of her friends can even see them...

[AleWife]

My husband is on FB only for work communication and is not really active otherwise. I don't have an account at all so it will be difficult for me to monitor who is posting what or change privacy settings for those pics. That's my issue here…

So it seems that I need to have a preemptive conversation with everyone which sucks, but I'll do it.

[AleWife]

Jan 22, 2015 19:28:34 GMT -5 frecklesinside said:

I would have a personal conversation with the people who might be sharing pictures of your kids. And a deliberate preemptive conversation about what is ABSOLUTELY NOT OK.

I was the one that shared the story of a friend who had an open youtube channel but only shared videos of her kids for family to see. All of the videos would have like ten or so hits, normal for family watching, then ones labeled anything to do with bath time had thousands of hits or something ridiculous. It really makes you think about what you put out there.

::SHUDDER::

[goofygoff]

Jan 22, 2015 19:29:44 GMT -5 frecklesinside said:

Also, you don't have to worry about your content being shared since you aren't really active on such sites as FB, but for me, personally, I make it so that you can't share my photos with people who aren't already my "friends." MIL doesn't get this and shares my pictures ALL OF THE TIME on her page, which is obnoxious as it is, but she has no clue that none of her friends can even see them...

 
Haha!  This.  All of it.  

My MIL shared one of my u/s pics and never seemed to question why no one 'liked' it.  

I'm going to have D talk with her about posting any pics she might take, herself, since her FB is totally public.   

[saltyfins]

I'd really like to not post any pictures of my kid on any kind of social media, including my private FB page. But I'm worried about other family members and friends taking pictures of him and posting them. I don't want them to think I'm being a prude but I'm going to tell everyone not to post his pictures anywhere.

Maybe I'll change my mind one day, but that's how I feel now.

[xtchristiext]

Jan 22, 2015 19:28:34 GMT -5 frecklesinside said:

I would have a personal conversation with the people who might be sharing pictures of your kids. And a deliberate preemptive conversation about what is ABSOLUTELY NOT OK.

I was the one that shared the story of a friend who had an open youtube channel but only shared videos of her kids for family to see. All of the videos would have like ten or so hits, normal for family watching, then ones labeled anything to do with bath time had thousands of hits or something ridiculous. It really makes you think about what you put out there.

I've actually used your story to open up the social media conversation with my over sharing relatives! It's been a very effective method to get them on board. Thanks for sharing it then and now!

[melissat2742]

I am very careful on who is allowed to be my friend on facebook. My husband and I used to work at a prison so you never know. I also very rarely post pictures anyways as I usually e-mail or text pictures to family members if I want to share.

[kellbell82]

Jan 22, 2015 19:28:34 GMT -5 frecklesinside said:

I would have a personal conversation with the people who might be sharing pictures of your kids. And a deliberate preemptive conversation about what is ABSOLUTELY NOT OK.

I was the one that shared the story of a friend who had an open youtube channel but only shared videos of her kids for family to see. All of the videos would have like ten or so hits, normal for family watching, then ones labeled anything to do with bath time had thousands of hits or something ridiculous. It really makes you think about what you put out there.

I've used that story so many times since you posted it! I find that to be so telling and yet so shocking at the same time. I guess it's hard for non perverts to even imagine children in a sexual way so parents don't think twice about bath photos or videos. I definitely took your story to heart and will NEVER post any pics or vids of my baby in a bath or even stripped down to her diaper. It's a shame we even have to worry about this shit

[NatashaBromanoff]

I have my FB locked down pretty tight so I don't think there will be many issues there. I might make a group specifically for family and close friends to have pictures and videos go to as an added filter. More worried about my husband's FB at this point but I will probably just not tag him in things.

My instagram and twitter are also locked down and I only follow a very select handful of people.

My husband and I already discussed making a family-only blog/photo album where people can get pictures since my husband is a photography hobbyist and we're predicting a mountain of photos being taken.

[luckystarz]

My fb is on major stealth mode and locked as tight as I can due to XH. I have a huge list of blocked people, I have a lot of DS's medical stuff on there b/c we have a lot of people we connect with through there and our support groups and such. Hubs and I have had convos with both sets of parents and siblings. Honestly, I'm most worried about FIL (shocker) b/c has no privacy settings, and shares shit constantly. He also forwards 3-6 emails a day that are the most random shit. I've got him email blocked, but H will have a serious conversation about not sharing also pics in any way unless we give the ok.

[skrittens]

I have not really thought about it. I don't share much on FB, and am not on any other site - than here. My H and his family do share stuff quite frequently. I won't let them take videos - but I don't have concerns about a few pictures of my kid out there. I'm more concerned about the pictures my mother will include in her Christmas card. Her favorite pictures are always the ones that I think are the worst. And sometimes she sends photos and family news into the small town local paper.

[Koda]

IMO, this is one of those things where you need to set up boundaries beforehand with people. Let them know you're not comfortable with anyone other than yourself and SO sharing your child's photos online.

Thankfully, most of my family doesn't use social media. I have managed thus far to keep my pregnancy off Facebook. This did require conversations with the few people in my life who are heavy FB users. I'll reiterate to them once baby is here not to post any baby photos.

[earthian]

I had this issue too. My Facebook is fairly locked down but my grandmother just doesn't get how things work. She would constantly tag her friends and coworkers in my daughter's photos so I asked her to stop. She got grouchy saying her friends wanted to see too, but you just have to explain that it is your decision, not theirs.

I told my grandma that if she didn't stop I would have to delete her. That worked.

[mango]

Jan 22, 2015 22:49:27 GMT -5 earthian said:

I had this issue too. My Facebook is fairly locked down but my grandmother just doesn't get how things work. She would constantly tag her friends and coworkers in my daughter's photos so I asked her to stop. She got grouchy saying her friends wanted to see too, but you just have to explain that it is your decision, not theirs.

I told my grandma that if she didn't stop I would have to delete her. That worked.

Ugh that would drive me crazyyyyy


OP: not sure how we're handling this yet, but we have a password protected website where we plan to share photos with family. I'm sure we will post on FB, but the majority will be on our website.

[whitfry]

My family is not very active on FB, and I refuse to friend MIL. My FB profile is also very locked down, and I'll be going through my friends list in the next week or so to cut down on any bloat on my friend's list. DH and I have an agreement about the sorts of pictures we consider acceptable to share with our friends (no nudity etc) regarding our child, but we will be posting some pics of baby J to share with people on our friends list.

[jessuh]

Jan 22, 2015 19:29:44 GMT -5 frecklesinside said:

Also, you don't have to worry about your content being shared since you aren't really active on such sites as FB, but for me, personally, I make it so that you can't share my photos with people who aren't already my "friends." MIL doesn't get this and shares my pictures ALL OF THE TIME on her page, which is obnoxious as it is, but she has no clue that none of her friends can even see them...

Ooooo! Where is this setting? My brother's mom does not understand what sharing is.. She shares things I think she means to comment on and I would love to stop her from sharing pics from my page

[chilibeansm0m]

I don't have fb. We have ig though and my sis and brother do post pics of dd. But it's only when they come to visit once every 2 to 3 months so I'm not worried about it.

[issytex03]

I try and keep my FB private so pictures are only seen by family and friends, however a few months ago a family member on H's side shared a photo of DD on her Facebook which is not private, without asking me first, the week before this she was informing me that a man she had accepted as a friend was sending her cock shots on a regular basis... Needless to say i explained no you cant share photos of my child without my consent and her response was I'm family i can do what i like so i i blocked and deleted her, everyone else respects my views on it though.