UPDATE: Trigger warning (sexual abuse) Suspension and CPS (NBR)

[adinashoshana]

*UPDATE* I met with the school psychologist this morning. He spoke with the student before he went home yesterday as well as his father. The student couldn't explain what happened. Dad said he understood why he drew those things. Apparently, parents failed to mention that he was molested by the children of a man mom was dating about the year ago. CPS found nothing has had no follow up on that case. He has had NO therapy. WTAF!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Admin (the VP not the Principal who issued the suspension) sided with me and didn't understand why he was suspended at all. A meeting is being held Monday morning. I was invited but I am inviting myself. Thank god he drew that so that he can now hopefully get some much needed help.

__________________________________________

I didn't want to just drop this in the randoms.

I had figured that if anything happened today, it would be with the student who was hot off suspension and placed in my class (all of the sudden). Surprisingly, his transition was smooth and he had a fairly good day. Mom seems supportive and enthusiastic--for now. Whew.

Cut to the principal randomly walking into my room and hanging out for 30 mins, taking pictures. Once the lesson ended, she walked over towards me and showed me a book she was carrying. She asked if I knew what it was (Diary of a Wimpy Kid--of course) and if I knew whom it belonged to. I did. Then she showed me a page where he (another student of mine) had drawn a man shooting a woman to death, with the speech bubble that read "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!"

I went straight to her office at lunch (as this was in the morning) to investigate. That picture was the tip of the iceberg. He had at least a dozen of pages of explicit, graphic depictions of porn. Stick figures with breasts, nipples, penises engaging in oral sex and sex with phrases like "Let's have sex", "this is fun", "fuck yeah, I like it", etc.

She said that another parent had discovered this book at home just after winter break. Their son (another third grader) had been given this book by my student. Which means he would have made the drawings around December.

My student was immediately suspended (for a day) and CPS was called as well. 


So, why am I posting this here?

I guess aside from ranting, I am so frustrated for him and for what is about to happen. Parents are bitterly divorced and refuse to speak to each other outside of school. They have split custody and love to blame each other for everything. I'm afraid that it will be a he said/she said, no evidence will be found, no follow-up will be made. He is clearly being abused. Whether by observation of porn, sexual acts (yes, plural), or molestation. The only inclination of anything that could even remotely contribute is his father takes him on hunting trips (I'm assuming animals, not people) and mom rewards him after a stressful day with love and a cuddle. No eight year old can depict with such accuracy, detail, and language what he had without having been abused. 

Between this and my other student's violent act, I just feel sad and frustrated for these kids and the fucked up things they are exposed to/abuse. 
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Tl;dr A student of mine was suspended AND CPS was called on his behalf for his explicit and graphic depictions of sexual acts and violence.

[carseat]

Oh my God.

I'm so, so sorry to read this. I just feel really sad for everyone involved. All of these people are going to have their lives changed forever. I hope he gets the help he needs and that his parents can figure things out to make his life better.

And I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. This is so hard. (((hugs)))

ETA: And while I wish situations like this didn't exist, I'm glad that there are caring people like you to be there for these kids. But I really wish none of this ever happened and that help like this wasn't necessary. (((more hugs)))

[mevaroo]

+1 to everything Car said.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with, but happy that there is someone who cares.
I can't even imagine. DS1 is eight.... Poor kid. I don't have words for him.

[adinashoshana]

mevaroo see that's where my mind goes. At eight years old, I was aware of what sex was. As a concept and it's place. But I never knew/understood it beyond a perfunctory reproductive we-don't-talk-about-it standpoint. It seriously is unfathomable how any eight year old could comprehend these kinds of things to THAT degree. It's so utterly tragic and scary. The parents of the other kid (who read the book and saw the images) had to have a tough talk with their kid and I can only hope that he will be okay, too. This whole situation is just all kinds of fucked uo. No eight year old should have to be exposed to those kinds of things.

[carissalynp]

Oh my gosh, how horrible. I really hope they're able to help him out- I can't imagine cps would drop something like that? I'm sorry you have these horrible situations to deal with too. ((Hugs))

[blondemum]

I have no words, this is such a terrible situation for everyone involved. I'm so sorry.

[jackiep1023]

Situations like these make me so sad. My XH's son was abused as a child by his older cousins. The whole ordeal was just sickening. We (mom included) had no idea it was going on. After many hours of therapy (and court), he seems to be a well-adjusted typical teen.

[rondackhiker]

Oh my gosh. That is so horrible. I feel so, so sick for him.

[codypup]

Good lord. That poor child. I am so sorry for him, and so proud of you for being there for him. I really hope some good can come from this, even if it's just school counseling.

Hugs to you, lady. What a rough day.

[adinashoshana]

jackiep1023 That's awful. I'm glad they he has gotten some help and hope he continues to heal.

[shellbell]

What everyone else said, but also big ((((hugs)))) to you.

[vshumway]

(((Hugs))) This is a terrible situation. Does your school have good support for situations like this? We have social workers at each school that do a lot with home life and what not. Hopefully is student can get the help that is needed and he can talk to someone and open up about what is going on.


Happy to hear about the transition of the other student. I was thinking about that today!

[tec124]

That's so incredibly sad for that child. No kid knows would know that type of specific information. It has to be learned. Hopefully CPS can connect the family with a therapist to find out where he was exposed to this type of behavior. I've had cases very similar to this. It breaks my heart.

[HatTrick]

It makes me sick to know things like this happen to children. I'm glad the mom of the other boy reported it to your school and that you school reported it to CPS. Does your school have therapy available to him? ((hugs)) that you are having to deal with this all.

[rachaelmary]

Oh man, my heart. I'm so sorry you are in this situation.

I really hope that boy gets help.

[avswolf]

Jan 22, 2015 20:00:26 GMT -5 carseat said:

Oh my God.

I'm so, so sorry to read this. I just feel really sad for everyone involved. All of these people are going to have their lives changed forever. I hope he gets the help he needs and that his parents can figure things out to make his life better.

And I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. This is so hard. (((hugs)))

ETA: And while I wish situations like this didn't exist, I'm glad that there are caring people like you to be there for these kids. But I really wish none of this ever happened and that help like this wasn't necessary. (((more hugs)))

This. I'm so sad for him. No child should have to be subjected to any of this. Thank god you're involved, but at the same time I'm sorry you are. So many hugs lady.

[chiawombat]

((Hugs)) this makes me sick to my stomach and so, so angry. How responsive is CPS in situations like this?

[katybriggs]

Oh my! What a fucked up situation. That poor boy, there's absolutely no way he wasn't abused in some way. This makes my heart hurt for everyone involved. You carry an incredible burden by touching these young people's lives, possibly in the most positive way they've ever know. Gigantic hugs to you for what you went through today & my sincerest admiration at your strength and resolve that you deal with these sorts of things on the regular.

[dgs7585]

This is awful, but I see it all the time in my line of work. Something happened to this kid to make him draw and say such things, obviously. Being exposed at such as young age to such situations when the parents blame each other, the child ends up usually getting lost in the system and worse things happen down the line. This kid needs counseling and parents that work with each other and not against one another. I hope he gets the support and the help he needs.

If you didn't read my intro, I work for a juvenile detention center and we take them as young as 12. We also operate a group home that takes kids as young as 9. It's horrifying that places like these have to exist . It's beyond terrifying that children, like this one , are forced to grow up way too fast

[adinashoshana]

Thank you so much for your outpouring of support and creepy internet hugs!

CPS is fast acting. Follow-up varies on the severity of the case and willingness of the reporting parties to hound their offices. I am a mandated reporter and this is my student but the principal made the call therefore I need to follow-up through her.

He receives infrequent counseling on campus but mostly for minor behavior incidents at school. We also have a school psychologist and I think that it's time to appoint him to this case permanently (not in the as-needed basis as required before).

megash113 I also agree with your question of why this wasn't an in-school suspension when abuse is happening/has happened. I didn't consider that when they had told me their (administration's decision). I will be bringing it to their attention now, especially as this suspension carries over to the weekend.

It really is sweet of all of you to think of me. I really wish I didn't take these cases to heart like I do, but as much as I bitch, snark, and whine over these students, I really do care. A whole fucking lot. Maybe because these kids don't always have people outside of school who do, or at least have their best interests at heart. I just feel incredibly lucky that I have H, my family, and you (collective) to be my sounding board.

I've already relaxed by posting here, reading lighter stuff, playing with S (thank god she doesn't even understand the concept of having body parts other than her head, hands, feet, and belly button yet), and drinking TJ's hot chocolate.

[wildflowers]

((Hugs)). My job often involves very terrible circumstances. I know how hard this is. It is such a heavy burden to carry. Lots of hugs.

[adinashoshana]

I understand that the one day home suspension has been made, however, I am concerned about ______ being home tomorrow and through the weekend (as opposed to an in-school suspension) due to the role that abuse plays in this situation. His explicit drawings came from the home environment and sending him to that environment as part of his consequence seems dangerous. In future cases like this, could we consider in-school suspension as an option when CPS is involved?


Just sent that to admin. The only acceptable response is YES.

[tangerinetart]

Oh my gosh! What a terrible situation for everyone involved. In so glad this boy has someone one his side. Hugs to you!

[obimomkenobi]

This breaks my heart. My students are third graders, too, in a tough area. Even my most rough and tumble street smart kids wouldn't address sex that way - It's always in a more juvenile fashion. I'm so sorry you have to go through this with him - You sound like a teacher who brings everything home on her shoulders. I know the feeling. How is CPS in your area? All the hugs, mama.

[onelinedrawing]

That is heartbreaking. My first thought was also about how the suspension didn't make the most since in this situation.

How are you doing, hon? Hope you enjoyed your hot chocolate and are getting some sleep.

[squirm]

This is just so very sad and troubling. I hope this poor kid gets the help that he needs.

[caer]

This is horrible and heartbreaking. I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. I hope that poor child gets the help he needs. (((Hugs)))

[MadisonPenny]

That poor child.
I can only assume that the parents are aware that the school is aware and CPS has been called? I really hope that child is taken out of the home if this is where it's taking place. I can only assume that if the child is home and the parents are aware that this abuse is known, the child could be receiving backlash.
Please keep us updated. I hope everyone gets the help they need.

[boogerbear]

I have no words. Everyone else has replied so eloquently to this awful situation. That poor kid. I hope he gets out of that abusive home life and the help he needs.

::hugs:: for you. How heartbreaking.

[tenniscourt]

I'm so sorry. I feel awful for the boy and hope the situation gets sorted out immediately. I also feel bad that he was suspended, especially out of school!