Fake drinking

[fignewt]

What are your best fake drinking tips?? 
Here are a few of mine:
If people are drinking beer, just grab one, take it to the bathroom, empty it in the sink and fill it up with water!
If people are drinking wine, I bring along a water bottle filled with white grape juice or apple juice.  Then take the wine to the bathroom, pour it out and fill it up with juice + water**
If it is a restaurant or dinner party and it looks weird to take your drink to the bathroom, here is what we have done - sit next to DH, order the same drink, and be sure to keep them next to each other.  Keep picking up the drink, holding it while you talk, and then when you place it down on the table, switch it with DH's drink.  That way both drinks will be getting drunk (just not by you!)

**one time I did this and my friend said, "ooh what kind of wine do you have?  can I try it?"  I was like "no, I have a cold" and she goes "I don't care" and grabs it.  Then she takes a sip and goes "Oh my, that is really sweet!  It tastes more like apple juice."  Face.Palm.

What have you done to throw people off??

[jewel441]

fignewt lol on your friend drinking your juice.

I will hold an extra drink for H. Or if ppl aren't watching you order, like at a wedding, seltzer with a little cranberry, no one knows there is no vodka.

Also I know people always say other people aren't watching you as close as you think, but I feel like it depends on the people. Our good friends are definitely watching us hard core. I got called out last weekend for ordering a non-alcoholic drink (and I wasn't pregnant yet, I just wanted what I ordered).

[arbe]

Out to dinner it not unusual if i don't order a drink, i have slipped a note to a bartender to make my drinks virgin when i was pregnant with my first and my friends were still into the bar scene. I'd order a vodka tonic and he's give me tonic.
At a party i just mix my own drink, but I let DH drink enough so he cant drive and i use the DD card.

[peachesncream]

I will sip on a glass of wine all night. Or you can pull the "I'm on medication and can't drink" and when they ask what it is tell them it's a strong antibiotic for your bacterial vaginosis. That'll shut them up.

[LadyNymeria]

I'm headed to a few parties this weekend, one of which is a post-elopement party for my brother and new SIL, so people will be expecting me to have a few drinks. I was planning on getting a bottle of beer, dumping it, and filling it with water.

Or going the cranberry vodka, no vodka, route if no one is around me when I order.

[zombiesquad]

Heading to a baseball game Saturday afternoon with my SIL, her husband and some friends of theirs. It's going to be hot so I plan on just saying I did all my pre-drinking before going to the game because I don't want to spend $12 for a beer and then just drink water.

Previously, I've done the 7Up with a lime wedge or poured O'Douls into a cup or glass.

[ironmom]

For a bridezilla hen do next week, I've made a pact with another maid. I take a sip, she downs it, and then we switch. We've been practicing. There's some Oceans Eleven shit going down.

It might actually be more fun than actually wine tasting.

[isolemnlyswear]

DH will get a couple beers in him quickly so I can pull the DD card. I'm not a big drinker anyways so it's not terribly unusual for me to be the DD. The biggest give away is I stop drinking soda. That's actually what gave it away when I was pregnant last time, ordering water instead of a coke. Haha

[awkwardturtle]

I'm just going to sit in my house and rock back and forth for the next 12 weeks.. Haha jk.

We are going to the Dominican Republic next week, so I will probably make friends with the bartender at the hotel and let them know, so I will be drinking strawberry smoothies or a virgin piña colada.

If I'm one on one with a friend I'll probably say that I have a headache or I'm doing a clean eating challenge. I could definitely BS that one. If I said medication I know I would get a million more questions.

If it's a group scenario I will definitely use the suggestions in this thread.

[kendraj426]

Right now, my go-to is 'I have to pump later' since I'm still BFing DD.

With my first, I didn't get too many questions about it, but I would usually do my best to separate from the group so I could order alone and just get a cranberry juice (my usual drink is a vodka cranberry). Or I would say I was DD, and DH would get to drink a lot. He actually really liked that part of me being pregnant.

I actually had a few friends who said 'I totally knew it - you didn't have anything to drink at DH's party' when we finally told them. And here I thought I was being all slick... lol

[sdchick]

I don't do the whole fake drinking thing, mostly because I'm an exclusive red wine drinker and that's kind of hard to fake (unless you count grape juice, bleh).

Just wanted to add that Trader Joe's has a delicious blood orange soda. It's amazing! On the 4th I added it to their mango lemonade for a yummy mocktail...delicious.

[girpipley]

I'm with sdchick, I drink some beer, but 99% of the time, it's red wine. We are getting married at a winery next weekend, I'm not sure yet how I'm going to fake it. My bridesmaids all know, as well as my mom and Hs sisters, so I'm sure between all of us, we can come up with something.

***loss mentioned***

I know it sounds crazy to have told so many people, but since we lost our twins so late in pregnancy, we really will need support if we lose this one too, so we decided to tell immediate friends and family.

[adorebel]

Jul 8, 2015 23:11:05 GMT -5 girpipley said:

I'm with sdchick, I drink some beer, but 99% of the time, it's red wine. We are getting married at a winery next weekend, I'm not sure yet how I'm going to fake it. My bridesmaids all know, as well as my mom and Hs sisters, so I'm sure between all of us, we can come up with something.

***loss mentioned***

I know it sounds crazy to have told so many people, but since we lost our twins so late in pregnancy, we really will need support if we lose this one too, so we decided to tell immediate friends and family.

****loss mentioned****

I hear you, girpipley! Among total strangers and mere acquaintances, I've been fake drinking, but around any kind of friend or family member, I'm just being open. We ended up letting a lot of people know last time before we had the loss at 15.5 anyway, and their support was immeasurably helpful. 

[sdchick]

Jul 8, 2015 23:11:05 GMT -5 girpipley said:

I'm with sdchick, I drink some beer, but 99% of the time, it's red wine. We are getting married at a winery next weekend, I'm not sure yet how I'm going to fake it. My bridesmaids all know, as well as my mom and Hs sisters, so I'm sure between all of us, we can come up with something.

Congrats on your upcoming nuptials! Maybe for the wedding you can switch to "champagne"?