Mine might be a trigger for Anyone whose lost a child or baby so im sorry in advance if i cause any upset. I keep having nightmares about him (baby) being asleep and me thinking that he's died. To the point where i a am really thinking i wont be able to get any sleep if he is sleeping as ill need to watch him at all times just to make sure he's ok. Im not sure how im meant to get past it
I am terrified at the thought of having 2 kids. My son is 5 and pretty independent but he's also always had me to himself so I'm not sure how he's going to take having to share me. I'm scared that he's going to feel like I love him less when I can't give him 100% my attention.
I am scared at breastfeeding again. I wanted to breastfeed my son so bad but he was born tongue tied so we had latch and supply issues. I wanted to breastfeed a year and was only able to pump for 4 months. I'm afraid she will be tongue tied as well and we will have the same issues. I really want to breastfeed her a year.
I'm scared of raising a girl. I've raised a boy for 5 years and I know having a girl is going to be different. I don't know how to do all those cute braids and hairstyles lol.
I'm scared I'll have a bad birth experience in general. I really really don't want a c-section.
I'm scared of how H will adjust. He says and acts like he's confident but I don't know how he'll really react once baby is here and things are so different. I'm scared that I'll need his support and he either won't be there physically (because of job responsibilities) or emotionally. Not to mention I have no idea how he'll react to the labor experience. I've joked with him that I'm going to regret not hiring a doula but I'm only partly joking...
I'm scared that I'll be terrible at or be unable to breastfeed.
Mine might be a trigger for Anyone whose lost a child or baby so im sorry in advance if i cause any upset. I keep having nightmares about him (baby) being asleep and me thinking that he's died. To the point where i a am really thinking i wont be able to get any sleep if he is sleeping as ill need to watch him at all times just to make sure he's ok. Im not sure how im meant to get past it
Newborns have weird breathing patterns and can sometimes seem like they aren't breathing. This has led to many a scare for new parents. I bought the Snuza alarm and LOVED it. After a few scares, I wasn't getting any sleep because I kept checking on her incessantly, even with her in the side car sleeper. That's when I bought the alarm and my goodness did it make a world of difference.
Post by ashleyrh661 on Jan 24, 2015 16:15:02 GMT -5
Breastfeeding. I've read a couple books done tons of research and have been watching you tube videos. I have pretty flat nipples and it caused problems with DS. But I am determined to work through them this time. I will not exclusively pump cause I know that I won't last long doing it. I've also found some local breastfeeding groups with meetings to go to.
Breastfeeding. I've read a couple books done tons of research and have been watching you tube videos. I have pretty flat nipples and it caused problems with DS. But I am determined to work through them this time. I will not exclusively pump cause I know that I won't last long doing it. I've also found some local breastfeeding groups with meetings to go to.
This is such a tough thing to have to worry about, but I'm right there with you. With all of the problems I had last time, I feel almost certain we will have a bumpy road this time too. The best you can do is your research, be armed with information and be prepared with the things you might need (for example, I'm bringing my SNS to the hospital and am ordering a supply of domperidone in case). I hope things go well for you, mama.
Post by ladysnowblood on Jan 24, 2015 16:43:08 GMT -5
The same thing a lot of other people already said, having a toddler and a newborn.
Also I'm afraid that I will be irrationally upset if I don't get my VBAC. I'm trying to prepare myself for either outcome and remind myself that the most important thing is a healthy baby. I didn't realize how disappointed I would be with my birth experience and I'm afraid it will only be worse the second time. I know at some point I need to just let it go.
I'm debating my birth plan, do i go for a vaginal birth if B is still breech knowing he may not be able to be turned and then need an emergency c section? Or do I just schedule a c section so I don't have to go through the pain of both?
Hubby really wants me to try for a vaginal birth,which I get..but I'm so stressed about the possibility of recovering from both removal methods.
Probably what terrifies me most is having 2 people I'm responsible for. R requires so much attention as is and has really been trying lately. My patience is wearing. Obviously so does a newborn so I'm most worried about this. I will only have dh home for 2 weeks out of my 5 months of mat leave so I'm def worried about my sanity and if dh and i can keep it together.
I'm most confident though about the newborn stage as well. I was so worried I'd break R when she was born. Now I'm like i got this!
Me too! I'm almost more terrified of this than anything! I keep coming back to this in my mind and I can't shake it!
Aw like Mel said, it's really the most inconsequential thing and she's right, it does have the added perk of not having to get up to pee every five seconds!
It's really not bad! They inserted mine while I was awake without pain meds and it didn't even hurt at all. I was actually sad when they removed it because it was pretty great not having to get out of bed to pee. Removal didn't hurt either and I wasn't even sore afterwards.
This makes me feel better! I know its such a small thing to be scared of compared to all the other stuff going on!
I'm completely scared witless at the idea of being responsible for the life of another human, finances, and balancing parenting with work. I'm also terrified that I won't be able to handle the pain of birth, things will go wrong... Hell I'm worried about everything.
I'm completely scared witless at the idea of being responsible for the life of another human, finances, and balancing parenting with work. I'm also terrified that I won't be able to handle the pain of birth, things will go wrong... Hell I'm worried about everything.
Being a FTM is some scary shit.
In that case, embrace the "HOLY SHIT" and enjoy the ride!
I'm completely scared witless at the idea of being responsible for the life of another human, finances, and balancing parenting with work. I'm also terrified that I won't be able to handle the pain of birth, things will go wrong... Hell I'm worried about everything.
Being a FTM is some scary shit.
In that case, embrace the "HOLY SHIT" and enjoy the ride!
. That's the mental space I'm trying to achieve. Hold meh!
Post by snarkysparklefart on Jan 24, 2015 17:43:38 GMT -5
The things I'm positive about might seem silly, sorry.. I'm the most positive about breastfeeding and about my ability to return to my weight loss postpartum. I've lesrned a lot in therapy in the last few years about thinking positively, and I'm trying to remember those lessons and to remember to carve out time for myself every day.
Add me to the list of people who are antsy about having a newborn and a preschooler- I'm maybe too worried about how big a change this is for DD and I hope she will always know that we hoped her having a sibling would be a great part of her life, not something to upset her or mess up her routine, if that makes any sense. It may be IF brain bothering me, but I've been really bothered about it lately. I'm also nervous about our family dynamic in general & dealing with MIL. I have done so well at setting boundaries and it is really important for me to uphold them.
I'm also afraid of having another C. I'm confident-ish about my VBAC, but I'm scared too. I want the VBAC so badly, since this will probably be our last child, I'm just wanting to have the experience. And I worry and overthink my feelings a lot, so I am afraid of being resentful, and I sure as heck don't want to go through a csection recovery again.
Post by drudolph11 on Jan 24, 2015 17:46:56 GMT -5
At almost 33 weeks I'm still worrying about actually getting here. My PGAL mind will just not let me relax one bit. I had actually calmed down for a bit. I had a good 2 months but now that were in the home stretch I'm freaking the eff out about it again and using my doppler like i did at the beginning. I just have so many amazing wonderful visions in my head about our life with her that i just can't even being myself to fathom it actually not happening :/ then i have our impending 2 week hospital stay for LO which sucks and then I'm scared about not being able to BF. Since i have not gained absolutely anything in my boobs i am so scared that it is a sign that I'm not going to be able to produce. So with all of that on my mind everything else seems much less scary that i was worrying about lol but i Def have all the classic FTM fears running through my head. I mean i have yet to actually learn how to change a damn diaper. Maybe i will you tube it and find a doll to practice on lol i swear i got a little sample diaper in the mail and looked at that thing like it was a foreign language eeekkk. I'm really worried about how I'm going to handle the lack of sleep. Currently i get really really cranky when i don't have enough sleep and i really don't want that to effect my parenting skills. I hoping that the fact that i won't be working will help with that and i have a great support system if i need help and trust me i am totally fine accepting the help until i get this baby thing down lol I'm scared of my mom tbh. They is another whole story but she can be very difficult to put it lightly. She is amazing really end i know will be a huge help and wants to help but in just worried that her "my way or its wrong" personality is going to be a problem. Oh wow i have more but im gonna stop rambling there lol
I'm terrified she will get here too early and end up in the NICU. I'm worried how my furbabies will adjust to a baby in the house when they have always been the babies. I'm nervous about being a SAHM. I'm also scared that I will have no clue as to how to be a good mom.
I'm freaking out about having 3 very active kids. I am freaking out about waking in the middle of the night, how I don't miss that. I am freaking out about being a full time stay at home mom.
I am choosing not to think too much about labor or being at home with a newborn. It will be tough. I will make it through. I am a naïve FTM...
I am nervous though that my H doesn't get that babies are hard work. I told him this is one of our last weekends to sleep in and get into bed early and snuggle. He doesn't get why we won't be able to do this all the time after the baby.
I am confident in labor and figuring out the newborn thing, I'm a weird FTM.
My biggest fear is getting PPD and not having the support of my mom. H has suffered depression himself, so I don't worry about him. But my family hasn't dealt with anything like that and I feel like my mom wouldn't take it seriously and I wouldn't have the support of the second most important person in my life.
It's really not bad! They inserted mine while I was awake without pain meds and it didn't even hurt at all. I was actually sad when they removed it because it was pretty great not having to get out of bed to pee. Removal didn't hurt either and I wasn't even sore afterwards.
This makes me feel better! I know its such a small thing to be scared of compared to all the other stuff going on!
Oh i second that. I swear they are not bad at all. I have had urinary problems throughout my life and have had many many cath's and the worst you get is a little stinging and some pressure. Granted i am sorta used to them (yea crappy thing to be used to lol) but really they are not bad at all! Hopefully that helps a little lol
This makes me feel better! I know its such a small thing to be scared of compared to all the other stuff going on!
Oh i second that. I swear they are not bad at all. I have had urinary problems throughout my life and have had many many cath's and the worst you get is a little stinging and some pressure. Granted i am sorta used to them (yea crappy thing to be used to lol) but really they are not bad at all! Hopefully that helps a little lol
Even though I am not a FTM, I am terrified of going into labor on my own at home. Both previous labors were induced so I was already in the hospital with medical professionals when everything got rocking. The first time my water broke on it's on, in the hospital, but it was more like a trickle and I did't even know that is what happened at the time. The second time it was popped for me and was a gush. I'm terrified of being home with my toddler and it taking about a half hour for DH to get home (I know this isn't long compared to many of you). I'm worried about having nobody to watch my girls when I go into labor because everyone around me is either working or going through some BSC stuff right now. I'm thinking about having her portable DVD player ready to go so she has something to keep her busy until someone can get there for her. I'm nervous about having to deliver at a different hospital this time because the one I love no longer has an L&D. Now I have to go twice as far to use a hospital (and staff) that I am not fond of.
So, I can't even type this without crying, but here goes....
I am afraid that I won't love my baby, and that I am too selfish and lazy to be a good mom. My life is so nice right now, and I'm afraid that I'll resent him for changing my life. I wanted this baby so badly, and now I am dreading him actually being here.
I'm a horrible person. Feel free to judge me and kick me out of the group.
Post by chuggles1013 on Jan 24, 2015 20:01:01 GMT -5
I'm terrified of having a C section. I really really would like to avoid beig cut open. I'm worried about being out of control and feeling it and needing to be sedated. I hope they can give me something to help with my anxiety. I'm terrified of my anxiety also.
I'm so not excited about most likely tearing if I do deliver vaginally. I would really like to do a natural birth and I'm terrified it will be too bad and I won't be able to handle it.
Im also worried about my dog. He's like our baby and I hope he doesn't get too jealous.
This last week I've been terrified of coming back to work. I never thought I wanted to be a SAHM, financially we couldn't do it now anyways with SO in school, but lately I've been thinking it will be the hardest thing ever leaving my baby.
So, I can't even type this without crying, but here goes....
I am afraid that I won't love my baby, and that I am too selfish and lazy to be a good mom. My life is so nice right now, and I'm afraid that I'll resent him for changing my life. I wanted this baby so badly, and now I am dreading him actually being here.
I'm a horrible person. Feel free to judge me and kick me out of the group.
Hugs. I didn't go through my first pregnancy being "in love" with my baby. I honestly didn't get it when people would say, "I'm so in love with this baby already." I just didn't have that connection. I'm guessing that because you are so upset by this, things will be fine. Even in the hospital with my first I was more awestruck then in love. It wasn't until I got home that I really felt those first all encompassing feelings of "omg!! I love this little thing more then life itself." and if I'm honest I really don't feel a strong connection with this babe either. But I'm confident that it will happen.
So, I can't even type this without crying, but here goes....
I am afraid that I won't love my baby, and that I am too selfish and lazy to be a good mom. My life is so nice right now, and I'm afraid that I'll resent him for changing my life. I wanted this baby so badly, and now I am dreading him actually being here.
I'm a horrible person. Feel free to judge me and kick me out of the group.
This is a totally normal fear. Whether it happens right away or takes times, I'm sure you will bond and love your baby.
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