Reflecting on parenting choices...

[sweetsurprise]

Reflect on things you have done right or wrong with your LO. Would you worry about the same stuff? Different stuff? Possible topics include sleep (RnP/swing/schedules/CIO), bf/formula, daycare/working, splitting responsibilities with H, solids, etc.

I figure we are all way past the halfway mark of our babes' first years. Let's reflect!

...also sorry to post 'n run. I'll be back!

[supplycloset]

Definitely splitting responsibilities with H. I slept on the couch with DD next to me in RnP for the first 6 weeks so H could 'get the sleep he needed'. He has helped MOTN four times. He gives two bottles a week. He plays baseball twice a week, poker once a week, going on float trip this weekend- complains that DD doesn't want him, but he chooses to spend his free time away from her. Nicb13 will flame me for letting him get away with all this but sometimes it's just easier without him!
Next baby- he's doing all the work and I am playing with DD!

[sweetsurprise]

I wouldn't worry so much about newborn sleeping devices. Our transition from the swing to crib was fairly easy and I spent a lot of time worrying I was effing up.

I would try my hardest to start putting the baby down sleepy but awake. I would be ok with a little crying earlier on.

I would clarify roles and responsibilities with H and stick to it. I did really well and then started doing a lot more about a month ago and am starting to have a little resentment.

I would accept more help from people who offered me help instead of insisting on doing everything.

I don't know if I would sequester myself to my home until shots the next go around since being at home drove me a little insane.

Overall, I would cuddle as much as possible and try to laugh at things that stressed me out the first time.

[kellrr]

Less worrying for sure, and better communication about what jobs DH and I would do. I would have cloth diapered from the beginning instead of waiting until 3 months. I would have been less squeamish about BF in front of people sooner. I missed out on so much because I didn't want people to look at me. Now I basically only avoid it in busy restaurants.
I would have worried less about weight gain, and more importantly trusted my gut that everything was fine.

[MrsTinMKE]

I would have worried less. Also I would have BF'd for a little longer before switching to EPing, and would have also been a little less worried about BFing in public as well.

Also would have tried to balance things better with H. It is a struggle still and I get frustrated when I am doing all of the feedings, 95% of the bedtimes, all of the baths etc. He is also one who complains that DD doesn't want him, but he doesn't jump in to do any of the day to day stuff like I do.

[MrsTinMKE]

I also wonder if I made the right choice by not putting DD in daycare earlier. I am thinking about starting now but afraid she will be freaked out

[sweetsurprise]

Jul 21, 2015 11:51:19 GMT -5 MrsTinMKE said:

I also wonder if I made the right choice by not putting DD in daycare earlier. I am thinking about starting now but afraid she will be freaked out

She'll be fine! I bet she will love looking at and interacting with the other babies. The worst part will be all of the daycare colds she will get. There are too many sicknesses!!!

[saraml13]

I would have been clearer and firmer with DH regarding expectations and how much help I needed. I kind of tried to be a martyr, but should have been more vocal in asking for help.

I would have tried to do less around the house in terms of thank you notes, cleaning, errands. I should have embraced hanging out on the couch nursing a newborn nonstop, vs feeling like I should be up and being productive.

I should have gotten help much sooner for issues I had with nipple damage that wouldn't heal.

I would have figured out a newborn carrier/wrap sooner.

I would have tried to get DS to nap more at home, versus relying on stroller and car seat naps so much. I would have put more effort into sleepy but awake sooner.

[pinkie]

I feel I made changes regarding my regrets from our older guy with our baby:

- get a good sleeping schedule going from the start. Encourage naps on the go and get him used to sleeping anywhere
- get baby in crib for over night early; establish the bedtime we want early
- feed "real" food early and lots of variety
- don't stress over a little crying
- don't stress that things aren't perfect

I don't have really any regrets this time. But I think our baby is just generally easier with things than our older one was so I'm not sure anything we did mattered

Oh I do a little regret not making more of an effort to baby wear - I think I missed the boat on getting him to take to it.

[meagpt22]

Things I'd do differently:
Just kept offering to boob instead of nursing then supplementing (however at time she ended up on NICU day 2 bc of decreased intake)

At 4 months try to wean off pacifier

Pre made dinners before baby came

Skipped purées and go right to BLW style

Things I'd do again:
Offering all foods off my plate

Created the nighttime routine early on

Giving up work full time and remain per diem

[americanninjamommy]

Next time, I will definitely:

- Try harder at nursing - more laid back early on
- Establish a bedtime routine early, like we did this time
- Teach baby to sleep anywhere
- Give myself more of a break in the first couple of weeks (I stressed myself out way more than necessary over the BF vs. FF issue)
- Still do daycare, would still work
- Try BLW if I can convince DH it's not dangerous

[sweetsurprise]

We should tell the May 15 board about our wisdom. Lol

[jeniece47]

I think the biggest thing I would change next time has more to do with balancing parenting and marriage than with actual parenting. My husband is a stereotypical only child and had a really hard time with the changes a baby brings and no longer being the most important person. Next time, I would make sure to make sure I still prioritize my marriage and make sure my husband still knows that I value him. Essentially I would make the most of non baby time especially in the beginning.

[staryb]

Use the RnP less and teach baby to sleep in the crib early on.

Establish a bedtime routine sooner.

Take structured monthly pictures.

Keep up better with the baby book stuff/document everything.

Ask for more help MOTN early on so I could get some sleep too!

I'm sure that there are many more but that's all I can think of for now.

[jellykat2]

Get out and about more in the first three months. Of course next time with a toddler running around it will probably be a necessity.

Get back into a workout routine earlier

Work on getting dd to fall asleep on her own earlier

Not worry so much about routine and structure and things being perfect

Try harder to have more me time and taking up offers to get out of the house baby free

Also, prior to getting knocked up being in better shape so pregnancy is hopefully a little easier on my body

[jellykat2]

Jul 21, 2015 11:51:19 GMT -5 MrsTinMKE said:

I also wonder if I made the right choice by not putting DD in daycare earlier. I am thinking about starting now but afraid she will be freaked out

Like sweetsurprise said, I wouldn't worry! Although I've wondered the same thing with dd, since she won't start daycare until she's 11 months. I'm sure it will take some getting used to, but I think she'll really like having other kids to play with. When we have visited some daycares she watches the other kids with such intrigue and wonder. I can tell she wants to get down and play.

[staryb]

I thought of a few more.

Follow a more structured cleaning routine and not let myself get behind on stuff like laundry and regularly dusting and vacuuming. Not letting clutter build up, etc.

Get baby in their own room sooner. We waited till 6 months with DD and that was probably at least 3 months too long.

Like jellykat said, get into better shape before getting pregnant. Also, continuing a workout routine throughout my pregnancy.

[pinkie]

Jul 23, 2015 9:36:27 GMT -5 jellykat2 said:

Jul 21, 2015 11:51:19 GMT -5 MrsTinMKE said:

I also wonder if I made the right choice by not putting DD in daycare earlier. I am thinking about starting now but afraid she will be freaked out

Like sweetsurprise said, I wouldn't worry! Although I've wondered the same thing with dd, since she won't start daycare until she's 11 months. I'm sure it will take some getting used to, but I think she'll really like having other kids to play with. When we have visited some daycares she watches the other kids with such intrigue and wonder. I can tell she wants to get down and play.

I agree with this. It's so much easier to change things up on them before they are in the 18 month age range. I'm so worried about changing daycare for our 2.5 yr old than our baby (we are moving). The baby will go with the flow still but our toddler will have such a hard time.

[pinkie]

Jul 23, 2015 10:33:56 GMT -5 staryb said:

I thought of a few more.

Follow a more structured cleaning routine and not let myself get behind on stuff like laundry and regularly dusting and vacuuming. Not letting clutter build up, etc.

Get baby in their own room sooner. We waited till 6 months with DD and that was probably at least 3 months too long.

Like jellykat said, get into better shape before getting pregnant. Also, continuing a workout routine throughout my pregnancy.

We moved our older son to his room at 5 months and started our baby in his room in his crib as soon as we came home . I'm all about minimizing transitions now. Our toddler is still in his crib but my goal is to move him directly to a real bed when it's time. My husband wants to get a toddler bed and I will have to fight my case on this when its time