Ask Anything (Flame Free)!

[almachs0786]

So I know we see these posts a lot in other groups, but Idk that I've really seen them utilized in BMB's.
After doing some creeping on TD And seeing questions like "can constipation cause miscarriage", and "can I have sex during first trimester", I realized that there are probably a lot of questions that we want to ask that we may be afraid to because of what responses may be.
This isn't just for first time mom's, I'm sure we all have a question or two on our mind that we would like to have answered....
I thought maybe we could keep this going throughout our time together as an informal "ask anything" thread.
(Also, sorry if this seems like a silly idea, just thought I would put it out there).

[nexttonormal]

I don't have a question just yet, but I'm just gonna put this out there:

Yes, you might poop while pushing out the baby, but the nurses (and hopefully your SO) will never tell you if you did haha. I still don't know if I did with DD1, and it's probably better that way.

[almachs0786]

Hahahaha! One reason I don't feel sad about having a repeat cs.

[awkwardturtle]

I'm scared of tearing during labor. Can anything I do before/during, or can I ask my doctor anything to help prevent this? Or is it going to happen whether I like it or not, like stretch marks.

[DanaScullyX]

Jul 30, 2015 21:29:24 GMT -5 awkwardturtle said:

I'm scared of tearing during labor. Can anything I do before/during, or can I ask my doctor anything to help prevent this? Or is it going to happen whether I like it or not, like stretch marks.

This is a legit question, but it just makes me think of the infamous fisting thread. And now I am laughing to myself.

[nexttonormal]

Jul 30, 2015 21:29:24 GMT -5 awkwardturtle said:

I'm scared of tearing during labor. Can anything I do before/during, or can I ask my doctor anything to help prevent this? Or is it going to happen whether I like it or not, like stretch marks.

Idk if there's anything you can do beforehand, with my first, the doctor did an episiotomy because the cord was wrapped around DDs neck twice and they needed to get her out.
My second, I didn't tear at all. My doctor just kept reminding me to take a break in between pushes, and while I was in between pushes, she would stretch out the opening a little. I swear it worked. Easiest recovery ever.

[awkwardturtle]

Jul 30, 2015 21:37:51 GMT -5 DanaScullyX said:

Jul 30, 2015 21:29:24 GMT -5 awkwardturtle said:

I'm scared of tearing during labor. Can anything I do before/during, or can I ask my doctor anything to help prevent this? Or is it going to happen whether I like it or not, like stretch marks.

This is a legit question, but it just makes me think of the infamous fisting thread. And now I am laughing to myself.

Oh the fisting thread.. Which makes me think of the butt baby..

[almachs0786]

Jul 30, 2015 21:29:24 GMT -5 awkwardturtle said:

I'm scared of tearing during labor. Can anything I do before/during, or can I ask my doctor anything to help prevent this? Or is it going to happen whether I like it or not, like stretch marks.

I remember reading a lot about this when I was convinced every detail of my birth plan was going to happen. Believe it or not, there may be.... I ended up with a C/S, so have no personal experience, but in all my reading I came across a lot of stuff about perineal massaging. Google it if you wish, it's been a while so I don't remember what all it involved (I didn't do it). It's said to help prevent tearing.

[FunniBunni]

Jul 30, 2015 22:04:18 GMT -5 almachs0786 said:

Jul 30, 2015 21:29:24 GMT -5 awkwardturtle said:

I'm scared of tearing during labor. Can anything I do before/during, or can I ask my doctor anything to help prevent this? Or is it going to happen whether I like it or not, like stretch marks.

I remember reading a lot about this when I was convinced every detail of my birth plan was going to happen. Believe it or not, there may be.... I ended up with a C/S, so have no personal experience, but in all my reading I came across a lot of stuff about perineal massaging. Google it if you wish, it's been a while so I don't remember what all it involved (I didn't do it). It's said to help prevent tearing.

I remember reading about perineal massage too.  I second that it's supposed to help.  I never asked for it though, because my kids always came very quickly. I've torn every time, but it just felt like a burning sensation.  There's so much drive to get the baby OUT, it didn't seem like a big deal to me.  My tears were always 2nd degree.

Fisting... butt baby... I'm DYING over here.  those were epic threads.

nexttonormal, If you didn't feel yourself poop on the table, you didn't.  

[cinnamonsmiles]

Jul 30, 2015 22:04:18 GMT -5 almachs0786 said:

Jul 30, 2015 21:29:24 GMT -5 awkwardturtle said:

I'm scared of tearing during labor. Can anything I do before/during, or can I ask my doctor anything to help prevent this? Or is it going to happen whether I like it or not, like stretch marks.

I remember reading a lot about this when I was convinced every detail of my birth plan was going to happen. Believe it or not, there may be.... I ended up with a C/S, so have no personal experience, but in all my reading I came across a lot of stuff about perineal massaging. Google it if you wish, it's been a while so I don't remember what all it involved (I didn't do it). It's said to help prevent tearing.

Definitely perineal message, if someone will help (nurse, MW, whomever knows what they're doing). I had a 2nd degree tear with DS but DH swears it was only because the MW physically grabbed him to help pull him out. So this time I plan to include that in my birth plan (let LO descend and come out naturally).

Even with tearing it wasn't that bad. I had a friend who had a butterfly tear, and even she said the recovery wasn't that bad.

[noodles84]

Perineal massage is supposed to help. Both of my kids had giant heads though so I had 2nd degree tears both times. Personally I dread the week after labor more than labor. Others may disagree but I am not looking forward to the spray bottle again. Agh! This is all still too fresh in my memory.

[erinshelley21]

Jul 31, 2015 4:43:07 GMT -5 noodles84 said:

Perineal massage is supposed to help. Both of my kids had giant heads though so I had 2nd degree tears both times. Personally I dread the week after labor more than labor. Others may disagree but I am not looking forward to the spray bottle again. Agh! This is all still too fresh in my memory.

That first week was rough. Labor was tough with pitocin induced contractions and not getting my epidural til I was pretty much ready to push. I can get that sooner this time. You can't prevent the pain of recovery though.

[Deleted]

I definitely pooped so much and my H likes to remind me. Also, no joke, my hemorrhoid that I aquired while pushing was worse than my third degree tear. That thing took 9 mo to stop bothering me.
Saving grace was sitting on a ice pack.

[almachs0786]

I've also heard that avoiding an epidural can help prevent tearing (because you're more aware of your body). Idk how true that is, but it's worth looking at.

[ironmom]

I was so worried about tearing and pooping beforehand. And then I forgot about both, because I just wanted him ooooouuuuuuttttt!

I ended up with 4 stitches. It wasn't that bad.

[rachelilly23]

With DS1 I pooped. I was in labor for 31 hours, of course it's going to happen when it's been that long. H likes to talk about how I pooped out a baby. Jerk.

[adorebel]

Jul 30, 2015 21:41:46 GMT -5 awkwardturtle said:

Jul 30, 2015 21:37:51 GMT -5 DanaScullyX said:

This is a legit question, but it just makes me think of the infamous fisting thread. And now I am laughing to myself.

Oh the fisting thread.. Which makes me think of the butt baby..

Lol I told MH about that thread and he still makes jokes about the butt baby.

[jocountry]

I had a tiny baby and so had very little tearing and didn't push very long. But the hemorrhoid! I thought those were just for middle age men, but nope. That thing is never going away completely.

[peachesncream]

Jul 31, 2015 6:55:30 GMT -5 almachs0786 said:

I've also heard that avoiding an epidural can help prevent tearing (because you're more aware of your body). Idk how true that is, but it's worth looking at.

Yup, I have heard that also.  If you have an epidural you don't feel the natural urge to push that alerts you that it is time to push baby out.

Tearing is pretty common with first babies.  I tore both labia and had a second degree internal tear.  The doc spent at least 30 minutes stitching me up.  Mine was made worse by a few things: DD was sunny side up, she was throwing decels like crazy so it was push now or have an emergency c-section, and I had an epidural.  My tears healed up beautifully.

I was terrified of tearing but if you have an epidural you don't even feel it and I think my stitches were falling out within 10 days.  They give you all sorts of sprays and hemorrhoid pads and stuff to make it as pain-free of a recovery as possible. 

[erinshelley21]

Try having your SIL, who is your nurse, asking you if you pooped the day before. Then you answer no, and you both know that she's going to watch you poop. SIL and I became a lot closer the day my son was born.

[jess9802]

I had an epidural and could feel enough that I felt myself begin spontaneously pushing which FREAKED me out. I thought the kid was just going to fly out with no one to catch him. Hahaha, nope. OB did perineal massage during labor, and I still pushed hard and fast enough (and DS has a huge head) in the end that I ended up with a second degree tear. I was pretty well healed within two weeks, although sitting on hard surfaces was uncomfortable for about a month after he was born. Fingers crossed for a smaller head this time.

[SheilaTheTank]

So on another note that doesn't involve tearing from V to A.

Anyone else's pets being super freaking affectionate? My cat has been all over me lately which is not like him at all.

[nexttonormal]

Oh and also, I think the weirdest part was having to push out the placenta. Idk why, but I was grossed out by that, after everything haha.

[miggg]

Jul 31, 2015 9:16:03 GMT -5 nexttonormal said:

Oh and also, I think the weirdest part was having to push out the placenta. Idk why, but I was grossed out by that, after everything haha.

+1 It's so....gushy...

[almachs0786]

Jul 31, 2015 9:16:03 GMT -5 nexttonormal said:

Oh and also, I think the weirdest part was having to push out the placenta. Idk why, but I was grossed out by that, after everything haha.

This is my least favorite part about doing c-sections... We actually have to pull it out and it just really grosses me out. Totally normal, routine thing, I just don't handle it well.

[FunniBunni]

Jul 31, 2015 6:55:30 GMT -5 almachs0786 said:

I've also heard that avoiding an epidural can help prevent tearing (because you're more aware of your body). Idk how true that is, but it's worth looking at.

Of my 4 kids, I've only had an epi once- the last time.  I personally didn't notice any difference in tearing.  I also felt everything.  It was definitely a help, and I was very glad I had one, but I wasn't able to talk through contractions, or anything like that.  I was also VERY aware of when it was time to push... and admit that I couldn't help put start to push before there was a doctor in the room.  

ETA: The placenta coming out was always NBD to me.

The WEIRD part was the baby sliding out after all the hard work (shoulders & head) was done.  It feels SOOOOOOO weird!!!

[mom2boxers]

I felt everything during the pushing part and I had an epi, but it didn't hurt if that makes sense. I did need a few stitches but I think that had to do with how fast LO came out. When they told me it could take up to an hour or more, I was very motivated, and 20 minutes later LO was born. My epi was wearing off when they did the stitches and I think that was the most painful part but it was over quickly.

[azurestar]

Jul 31, 2015 9:13:35 GMT -5 SheilaTheTank said:

So on another note that doesn't involve tearing from V to A.

Anyone else's pets being super freaking affectionate? My cat has been all over me lately which is not like him at all.

Yes, my cat has been all snuggly with me and purring a lot lately more than usual. He wants to make sure he is not forgotten I guess.

[OrganicRosemary]

If you can push in a position other than flat on your back with your feet in the air it can help with tearing. Even if you have an epidural there are alternative positions you can try. Also pushing when you feel the urge to push vs having someone scream at you to push to the count of 10. Ftm's tend to have higher instances of tearing bc the tissues haven't stretched like that before. I had a small first degree that didn't require stitches. I couldn't tell you when it "tore", but I was petrified of needing stitches.

[MadApple]

Jul 31, 2015 6:47:56 GMT -5 @becominggold said:

I definitely pooped so much and my H likes to remind me. Also, no joke, my hemorrhoid that I aquired while pushing was worse than my third degree tear. That thing took 9 mo to stop bothering me.
Saving grace was sitting on a ice pack.

Yes! No one told me that I might get insanely huge and uncomfortable hemorrhoids that would take forever to go away.