Shit my kid says and does (add yours)

[waffles]

This morning we were driving to school and the sun was rising. It was really beautiful. We read the book The Day the Crayons Quit yesterday, so we asked DS what color the sun was. After he looked directly into the sun, he said
   "What is wrong with my eyes today? They have colors coming out of them. [pause] Oh. The colors are there when I blink, too."

[TheEleventhHour]

Our dog has been shedding like crazy and last night DS picks up a bunch of hair from the floor and goes "Yuck! Mama backum (vacuum)" My kid is shaming me for not doing my household chores ...

[eyenigh]

Last night I accidentally grabbed the regular shampoo to wash his hair in the bath and some got in his eyes (which I felt horrible about). he screamed "Why would you burn my eyeballs?"

[helenahhandbasket]

Josie told me she wants to be called by her full first name-- Josephine. I think it's because her DCP calls her that mostly (at home we call her Josie 75% of the time).

"Mama-- I joe-fa-feen, not joe-fee."

She's a very formal baby.

[helenahhandbasket]

Jan 15, 2015 9:30:07 GMT -5 eyenigh said:

Last night I accidentally grabbed the regular shampoo to wash his hair in the bath and some got in his eyes (which I felt horrible about). he screamed "Why would you burn my eyeballs?"

OMG-- I have done that too! 

[eyenigh]

Jan 15, 2015 9:31:52 GMT -5 helenahhandbasket said:

Josie told me she wants to be called by her full first name-- Josephine. I think it's because her DCP calls her that mostly (at home we call her Josie 75% of the time).

"Mama-- I joe-fa-feen, not joe-fee."

She's a very formal baby.

We've only ever called Alexander by his full name and when people shorten it to Alex, it makes me a little twitchy. Some of the teachers at his school call him that and I always wonder if he answers to it. Most of the time he introduces himself by his full name-- first-middle-last-- like it's all one name.

[BostonKisses]

This morning Judith declared that farts are funny. She's a wise one!

She also likes to put the dog food bowls down, and she'll look at them and say "Bon have a teat!" instead of bon apetit. I laugh every time!

[waffles]

Jan 15, 2015 9:39:53 GMT -5 BostonKisses said:

This morning Judith declared that farts are funny. She's a wise one!

She also likes to put the dog food bowls down, and she'll look at them and say "Bon have a teat!" instead of bon apetit. I laugh every time!

lol!

DS started calling DP a "fart mosnter" last night. And then he got out of his bed, ran out to the living room and said, "Hey fart monster! I farted! HAHAHAHAHA."

[waffles]

Also, DS is fascinated by his nipples lately. He discovered them in the bath one night.

Last night we were putting DS to bed and I bumped into DP and the static electricity shocked her, specifically her nipple. She said, "Hey! You shocked my nipple!" and DS went, "NIPPLE! HAHAHAHAHA!


*we use proper body part names in our house (nipple, penis, etc), so this may be pearl clutchy to some but it's NBD at our house.

[TheEleventhHour]

Jan 15, 2015 9:47:19 GMT -5 waffles said:

Also, DS is fascinated by his nipples lately. He discovered them in the bath one night.

Last night we were putting DS to bed and I bumped into DP and the static electricity shocked her, specifically her nipple. She said, "Hey! You shocked my nipple!" and DS went, "NIPPLE! HAHAHAHAHA!


*we use proper body part names in our house (nipple, penis, etc), so this may be pearl clutchy to some but it's NBD at our house.

The other day DS ripped opened the shower curtain while I was showering, points at my crotch, and exclaims "MAMA PENIS!" so we had the you have a penis and mommy has a vagina talk. Except he isn't great with pronouncing "v" yet so he came out of the conversation with "bagina". 

[emmaswan]

Jan 15, 2015 9:31:52 GMT -5 helenahhandbasket said:

Josie told me she wants to be called by her full first name-- Josephine. I think it's because her DCP calls her that mostly (at home we call her Josie 75% of the time).

"Mama-- I joe-fa-feen, not joe-fee."

She's a very formal baby.

Oh this is so cute! It reminds me of when my DD was younger..."My name is Jel-ka Jo-fa-feen!" 

I've always called her Gellie since she was a newborn and recently she has insisted her name is NOT GELLIE. IT IS ANGELICA. We used to call her Gellie-Jo and now I can't do that anymore, either. 

[emmaswan]

Also, shit my kid says...

Last night we were driving home from the store and we passed the high school. Angelica waved to it and thought it was her elementary school. The following conversation happened:

Me: Actually, honey, that's X High School. That's where you'll go to high school some day.
Her: Oh. The high school?
Me: Yep!
Her: But mama? What if you die?
Me: ::jaw drop::

[namastebiotches]

I was putting my bra on while he was going potty a few weeks ago & he pointed to my nipple & said, "booboo?"

[waffles]

We have a plush pigeon and duckling from the Mo Willem's books. I do their voices. Duckling is sweet and soft spoken. Pigeon is loud and talks a lot. lol.

Anyway. DP will try to do their voices and she always sounds British. DS tells her she's "speaking rubbish."

[kld2014]

DD has started pulling my shirt down and laughing at my boobs. I have no idea where that came from.

It wasn't my kid, but my sister always makes fun of my boobs (I call hers porn-star mom boobs- it's a 2 way street lol). Anyway, we were at the Y with my nephew a few years back getting ready to go swimming with my nephew and getting changed nbd. I took my shirt off and my nephew starts laughing. I say "What's so funny silly boy?" Thinking he's just laughing and he says "Auntie, you have crazy bobbys!" My sister and I just about died laughing and she swears she didn't tell him to say that!

[kld2014]

We've started making her say please before giving her food (she does a modified sign or claps) because she's been just grabbing off our plates. I was eating lunch and she came up to me and went to grab something from my plate. I said "Say please" and she shook her head no.

[eyenigh]

Jan 15, 2015 11:32:43 GMT -5 namastebiotches said:

I was putting my bra on while he was going potty a few weeks ago & he pointed to my nipple & said, "booboo?"

In a similar vein, I was changing in front of him the other day, he walked up to me, pointed to my chest and said "Those are Mommy's booms," so now I've been calling them my booms, too.