So Freaking Distracted...How to Make it Stop?!

[holdingouthope]

***Warning: pg/LC mentioned (not mine)***



Hi loves. I don't know what I'm asking for here...I think I just need to vent (maybe I should be blogging instead...oh well), so don't feel that you must respond.

With my latest EDD coming up on Friday, I am finding that I am distracted beyond comprehension! I guess I have a lot of other things piled on, but I've just been filled with this overwhelming sense of DREAD about January 30th. It's also the day that I officially close on the sale of the last property I owned with my ex-H (though I'm signing paperwork today)...a great thing to be cutting that last tie, but also emotional. It's the EDD that I shared with one of my best friends, who recently gave birth and asked me to be Godmother. Not to mention the fact that I feel like a lousy Godmother because I still haven't seen her or the baby, because I've been waiting to get myself out of panic attack mode so I can put my best self forward when I do see her.

Add to all of that, I probably made a big mistake seeing American Sniper on Sunday - fantastic movie, but it left me feeling so emotionally overwhelmed...

And that I am in my FW and trying to keep all that business going as well. (Let's not even get into *that* MF right now.)

I know that I am a perfectionist, which isn't healthy, but I realized this morning that I am SO distracted that I am making lots of little mistakes at work! I am trying to remind myself that I am going through a great deal, and to be gentle with myself...but I can't keep myself from feeling like a failure. Like I have all these little balls in the air, and I'm dropping them all. Even though I'm in the middle of a Bikram yoga challenge, I'm having a hard time finding my center.

Anyway. I don't know if I'm looking for advice, or just trying to get it off my chest... If you made it this far, thanks for listening. And your prize:



PS: not posting on main board because depressing

[lizblue]

((hugs)) HOH. I don't have much advice for you and I know that you don't really need anything specific, so I'll just say I hear you. Try and get through things one at a time and know that all the feelings you have are ok to have. I am also a perfectionist and my best friend challenged me recently to be ok with failing at something. Well, I went on a job interview and I didn't get the job and she totally congratulated me. It was ok to fail! Everyone screws things up (little things and big things) and guess what? WE WON'T DIE. I hope any of the above helps just a teeny bit. And when all else fails, girl - you follow Betty White's suggestion for a hobby in your signature.

Hang in there. We're here for you.

[elliecat17]

((HUGS)) I second lizblue. It's hard when you are distracted, and a perfectionist, but it's ok to make mistakes, and this is a difficult time. You aren't a bad Godmother, and I am pretty sure your friend understands and knows that. EDD are sucky. Perhaps some cupcakes and vodka are just what the Dr ordered!

[holdingouthope]

Thank you for your thoughts, ladies. You don't know how much I appreciate the kind words. I literally sat down to read your comments as I was wiping tears from my face after a meltdown following another mistake... I left an entire document that should have been notarized out of the closing package that I just sent via overnight package. But lizblue is right - I make much more out of my mistakes than others. The title company was able to fix it, and the lady with whom I spoke was rather amused at my panic over the situation.

Putting a little more thought into everything, I think the impending finality of this house sale is perhaps bringing up all the buried feelings I had over the failure of my first marriage? Even though I am MUCH happier now, those are still tough feelings to face, and even shittier that the day falls on my EDD, I guess.

And since all of that made me late for yoga, perhaps wine and cupcakes *are* in the forecast for the evening.

[Smootiepie]

((Hugs)) love. I feel like you are so due to "catch a break" lately. I think your own words said it perfectly - you've got a shit-ton on your plate right now. This may sound super petty, but I tell myself a lot when dealing w/ my IRL friends' issues that they are so lucky they haven't been through even half the shit I have. We've all been through hell and are trying to make our way back, w/ TTCAL and life in general, and we still hold our heads high and march on. You can't kill yourself over getting distracted by it all every once in a while.

[megrae12]

Of, my sweet friend, I'm so sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed. If you want, take a mini vacay and come up here I wish I had some sage advice or something, but I have ((hugs)) and a listening ear.

[PetSquirrel]

I've got nothing for you, but lots of (((HUGS))).

[4furrypaws]

Oh sweet lady. I get it. I do. I won't go into my sob story but I get all of it. I wish so badly I could give you a big in person hug right now.

One thing at a time. That is something I have to remind myself often.

Sending you lots of love. Please PM me any time.

(((squish)))

[menrandes]

I have nothing to say that others haven't already said. But I wanted to give you huge **hugs**

[sarcaztic10]

First I want to give you (((hugs))). I totally get it. I feel like so much is up in the air and I am scrambling to try to catch it. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming. I agree with others that it can sometimes help to take a break maybe a staycation or weekend getaway?

I am a perfectionist too and I constantly have to remind myself that I am my worst critic. I am so much harder on myself than anyone else and sometimes I have to take a step back and try to reign in all of those out of control feelings.

Sending even more (((hugs)))

[holdingouthope]

Thank you, lady loves. Just hearing that others understand, and feeling your hugs, helps immensely. I don't know what I would do without.

[rmpar29]

Oh sweetie, I totally get what you are feeling right now. I agree with everyone, just take things one step at a time. I know how hard Friday's going to be on you, so maybe try to take some time out for yourself. Get a massage, or a pedicure, something to help you relax. Then you can go home and have a bottle of wine.

Think how good you will feel after the house closing and cutting that last tie with the Ex. Don't look at your divorce as being a failure. I don't know what happened, but it's a good thing that it didn't work out because now you have your DH and are HAPPY! Being happy is definitely an achievement worth celebrating.

Making mistakes is human. Try to cut yourself some slack and know that in the end, those little mistakes don't matter. What matters is that you are getting your job done and avoiding the big mistakes.

So many (((((HUGS)))))) coming your way love. Know that I'm here for you and I'll be more than happy to have a drink with you on Friday!

[holdingouthope]

rmpar29 I'll gladly take you up on the drinking buddy offer for Friday! Unfortunately, our closing just got pushed a week or two, which isn't a huge deal, just a little disappointing as I was hoping to get this wrapped up and move on. But a week or two won't make a huge difference, just need to remind myself of that.

Also, a bit of an AW and a bright spot for Friday: I get to meet up with myfirstraspberry for happy hour! I miss her on the board, but I'll be sure to tell her hi from everyone!

[rubysi]

So many hugs. I am glad you have something fun planned for Friday.

[therealbug]

Oh sweetie ((((hugs)))). I'm so glad you get to meet up with myfirstraspberry and have something to look forward to on Friday.

Friday is going to suck. It will get here, you will make it through it and then it will be Saturday. I do want to add, for me, the build up to the anniversary of my loss and my EDD was infinitely worse than the actual day of. There was a lot of emotional dread that built up in anticipation of what that date symbolized if that makes any sense.

I'm sorry about the closing getting pushed back. It will be good to finally close that chapter but, does that mean the Amish quilt rack is gone?

[4furrypaws]

Jan 28, 2015 8:15:29 GMT -5 holdingouthope said:

*snip*

Also, a bit of an AW and a bright spot for Friday: I get to meet up with myfirstraspberry for happy hour! I miss her on the board, but I'll be sure to tell her hi from everyone!

Ah!! You ladies have fun!! I'll be honest....I'm jealous!!!

Yes please give her our love!

[holdingouthope]

Jan 28, 2015 13:06:12 GMT -5 therealbug said:

Oh sweetie ((((hugs)))). I'm so glad you get to meet up with myfirstraspberry and have something to look forward to on Friday.

Friday is going to suck. It will get here, you will make it through it and then it will be Saturday. I do want to add, for me, the build up to the anniversary of my loss and my EDD was infinitely worse than the actual day of. There was a lot of emotional dread that built up in anticipation of what that date symbolized if that makes any sense.

I'm sorry about the closing getting pushed back. It will be good to finally close that chapter but, does that mean the Amish quilt rack is gone?

Busted! The stupid quilt rack is still around. I had Salvation Army come pick up a bunch of furniture last month and I completely forgot the stupid quilt rack!!! Ahhhhhh!! You've inspired me: it's on my to-do list and I am getting rid of that thing before the house closes. Keep me accountable!!

And thank you, love.

[cavewmn]

[meredithcarole]

(((Hugs)))

[o2girl]

I have so many (((((hugs))))) for you!

[rmpar29]

Jan 28, 2015 8:15:29 GMT -5 holdingouthope said:

rmpar29 I'll gladly take you up on the drinking buddy offer for Friday! Unfortunately, our closing just got pushed a week or two, which isn't a huge deal, just a little disappointing as I was hoping to get this wrapped up and move on. But a week or two won't make a huge difference, just need to remind myself of that.

Also, a bit of an AW and a bright spot for Friday: I get to meet up with myfirstraspberry for happy hour! I miss her on the board, but I'll be sure to tell her hi from everyone!

I'm so jealous that you get to meet up with myfirstraspberry.  Give her all of the love from us!