Terrified of heartbreak

[shemarie82]

I have been thinking about doing foster care for almost a decade now, but it is so much different now that I am in it than what I thought. I had this vision that I would provide a loving home for a week, month or a year, and then be able to accept it if that child had to leave. Now that we have the twins, I cannot imagine that I will not be crushed if they have to leave. I want to love them with all of my might, but I am very fearful of the big IFs of foster care.

Both my family and B's are totally in love which makes it even harder.  Should we keep reminding people that this could be temporary?  Or do we just live life as it might be permanent?

Any pointers on keeping a healthy balance?

[spooko]

Just live your life. Give the kids your heart and trust that it'll mend if it needs to. It's all you can do.

[pinkie]

I can only imagine. We were terrified for 3 days with both kids...and it was only 3 days.

I think all you can do is love the kids as if they will be with you forever. I wouldn't talk temporary because then people may hold back or the kids may start processing it if they over hear you.

Hugs!

[lizblue]

((Hugs)) we are about halfway through the 30 day revocation period and am having similar feelings, though I know it's differenf with foster care of course.

There is no way to hold back love, I don't think. This is how much we love our children- we will risk heartbreak to give them our whole hearts.

But it's so so hard to think about. Stay strong. I'll be thinking of you and B.

[ceejay]

Hugs! I don't really have any advice but I know exactly how you feel! We have only had our foster boys for a week, and it's already hard for me to even imagine what it would be like without them. I do find myself being a little reserved sometimes about getting too committed or attached, because I'm scared what it will feel like to say goodbye if we have to. I'm trying to be more intentional about loving them both as much as I can while they are with us. We hope they will be with us forever, but we don't know what will happen at this point.

[lbey]

Love them as if there was no tomorrow.

[hootiemommytobe]

I would just love them with all your might. Let them know there is love in the world. Lots of hugs your way!

[chele]

I have always loved the girls in my care freely, but have always kept in my mind the fact that they are someone else's children. I, however, have a different situation. The goal here is still reunification, and if not, there are family members who are willing to take them if the mom can't.

I do love them as if they were my own though, if that makes sense.

[getzystark]

No advice, but big hugs to you.

[shemarie82]

Thanks everyone. Talking to the boys' social worker, we can plan pretty certainly that we will have them at least until May. I always kind of knew that, but it gives me some assurance to actually here her say it.