Telling HR/Hiring Manager about Pregnancy?

[aprilz81]

I've been out of work since mid-March following a lay off.  I've had lots of interviews, including ones with my former company and their sister company (owned by the same parent company).  Yesterday I received an email from HR requesting authorization for a background check and that a final decision would be made today or tomorrow.  I don't see them wasting money on a background check if they weren't serious about making an offer.

I *just* found out I was pregnant last night and I don't even have beta confirmation yet so I may be jumping the gun entirely, but I'm torn about telling them when I accept the offer and waiting until the end of the 1st trimester.

Since this position is with the sister company of my previous employer I'm going to do my best to negotiate that they honor my original start date for all time sensitive benefits like vacation accrual, 401(k) vesting and FLMA.  If they agree then I'm in the clear as far as my maternity leave and if they don't *shrug* I'll deal with it later.

DH and I have talked about me staying home with any children so if I lose my job it isn't the end of the world.  If nothing else getting the job and having income coming in until the baby arrives will just be an extra savings cushion.

So, would you tell them up front or wait?

[Deleted]

If you're going to tell them early, don't say anything until AFTER you accept the job offer. It's none of their business if you're pregnant until you need to work out leave.

[teraiin]

I would say nothing until end of first tri at least..

If you are considering telling them earlier than that I would definitely wait until you have decided to except the offer and have worked for a couple weeks.

[Deleted]

Also, if there's a probationary "we can fire you for whatever we feel like" period, wait until after that.

[teraiin]

Sept 16, 2015 11:18:08 GMT -5 @led said:

Also, if there's a probationary "we can fire you for whatever we feel like" period, wait until after that.

Yes! That's a good point.

[k3am]

You don't say a word until you have an offer letter in hand. And then you negotiate maternity leave, since you likely won't eligible for leave under law or HR policy.

You should XP this on the working parents board, you'll get a lot of great advice from women who have doneit before.

[k3am]

Sept 16, 2015 11:18:08 GMT -5 @led said:

Also, if there's a probationary "we can fire you for whatever we feel like" period, wait until after that.

No way Jose. You have no negotiating power once you're to this point. 

You accept the job, you negotiate your maternity leave. They may technically be able to rescind your offer or fire you for whatever they feel like (most states are at will employment), but the fear of a lawsuit should be enough to keep them from doing this. 

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2015 11:44:40 GMT -5 k3am said:

Sept 16, 2015 11:18:08 GMT -5 @led said:

Also, if there's a probationary "we can fire you for whatever we feel like" period, wait until after that.

No way Jose. You have no negotiating power once you're to this point. 

You accept the job, you negotiate your maternity leave. They may technically be able to rescind your offer or fire you for whatever they feel like (most states are at will employment), but the fear of a lawsuit should be enough to keep them from doing this. 

But she doesn't have to tell them she's already pregnant to do any of that. 

[k3am]

Sept 16, 2015 11:46:57 GMT -5 @led said:

Sept 16, 2015 11:44:40 GMT -5 k3am said:

But she doesn't have to tell them she's already pregnant to do any of that. 

So.. she's supposed to negotiate a maternity leave on day 1 without telling them she's pregnant, when the only reason she'd be negotiating for a maternity leave would be because she wouldn't be there long enough to qualify for maternity leave? If she makes it past the probationary period (usually 3-6 months), she would qualify for maternity leave, so there would be on reason to negotiate maternity leave.. 

[o2girl]

My RE took me off work for 10 days following my embryo transfer and then when pregnancy was confirmed they took me off for the remainder of the 1st Tri. Because of all of this I had no choice but to let HR know. Everyone has been super supportive though, so it wasn't a bother to let them know.

ETA: O2 should read all things before posting doh! Pregnancy is protected under the Americans with Disabilities act. If you let them know about your pregnancy do it in writing. If they fire you during the probationary period (if you've notified them in writing of pregnancy) you may have a case. But honestly, I can't see them having an issue... But that might be my own naive nature.

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2015 11:51:46 GMT -5 k3am said:

Sept 16, 2015 11:46:57 GMT -5 @led said:

So.. she's supposed to negotiate a maternity leave on day 1 without telling them she's pregnant, when the only reason she'd be negotiating for a maternity leave would be because she wouldn't be there long enough to qualify for maternity leave? If she makes it past the probationary period (usually 3-6 months), she would qualify for maternity leave, so there would be on reason to negotiate maternity leave.. 

I've apparently not worked for enough companies to have experienced this. But my understanding was she was fighting for her initial hire date to transfer. I've obviously never negotiated maternity leave, but I had no idea it could be available that soon after hire. I've just always been told to treat a pregnancy like any other medical condition and don't tell them until they need to know. 

[winewinebustarhyme]

I think this really depends on the culture of the company, as well as the type of position. I've BTDT, but I work for a very small company (think, 3 people). I let them know after I accepted the position (4 months pregnant), because I wanted enough time to plan out an acceptable maternity leave plan. In my situation, my boss told me he appreciated my transparency and he was very willing to work with me on a win-win mat. leave option.

BUT, I don't think this would work in a super-corporate environment. And I definitely wouldn't tell until you formally accept the offer (and sign paperwork if that is also part of the process).

[k3am]

Sept 16, 2015 11:54:52 GMT -5 @led said:

Sept 16, 2015 11:51:46 GMT -5 k3am said:

So.. she's supposed to negotiate a maternity leave on day 1 without telling them she's pregnant, when the only reason she'd be negotiating for a maternity leave would be because she wouldn't be there long enough to qualify for maternity leave? If she makes it past the probationary period (usually 3-6 months), she would qualify for maternity leave, so there would be on reason to negotiate maternity leave.. 

I've apparently not worked for enough companies to have experienced this. But my understanding was she was fighting for her initial hire date to transfer. I've obviously never negotiated maternity leave, but I had no idea it could be available that soon after hire. I've just always been told to treat a pregnancy like any other medical condition and don't tell them until they need to know. 

There may or may not be a probationary period (we're all just speculating on that one). She is currently unemployed, and FMLA requires a 12-month period of service prior to being eligible for maternity leave. So if she wants to be guaranteed to have a job when she comes back from her maternity leave, she either needs to start her job and wait at least 3 months before getting pregnant (which isn't an option and FX continues to not be an option, since that ship has sailed), or negotiate up front for a maternity leave. 

And when I say "maternity leave" - we're not really talking paid benefits or anything, we're simply talking guaranteed job when she returns. Without getting this agreed to upfront, she can leave to have her baby, and they legally don't need to keep her position open for her. 

If you're already in a position, then yes, there is absolutely no need for you to inform your employer you're pregnant until you're ready. You also shouldn't disclose your pregnancy prior to getting a job offer, since it puts the employer in a tough spot legally. But once you've got them in a position where you've got something you want (and that something is you) - and they have a hard time saying no without the potential of legal action or really bad press, then that's the best time to negotiate your leave. 

[k3am]

And please, when you're getting ready to accept/negotiate, reach out to the Working Parents board. I swear we've got some really bright women and a few lawyers on there who have some really good advice to give regarding negotiating leave. (ETA: Most of who will do a much better job explaining than I can)

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2015 12:02:03 GMT -5 k3am said:

Sept 16, 2015 11:54:52 GMT -5 @led said:

I've apparently not worked for enough companies to have experienced this. But my understanding was she was fighting for her initial hire date to transfer. I've obviously never negotiated maternity leave, but I had no idea it could be available that soon after hire. I've just always been told to treat a pregnancy like any other medical condition and don't tell them until they need to know. 

There may or may not be a probationary period (we're all just speculating on that one). She is currently unemployed, and FMLA requires a 12-month period of service prior to being eligible for maternity leave. So if she wants to be guaranteed to have a job when she comes back from her maternity leave, she either needs to start her job and wait at least 3 months before getting pregnant (which isn't an option and FX continues to not be an option, since that ship has sailed), or negotiate up front for a maternity leave. 

And when I say "maternity leave" - we're not really talking paid benefits or anything, we're simply talking guaranteed job when she returns. Without getting this agreed to upfront, she can leave to have her baby, and they legally don't need to keep her position open for her. 

If you're already in a position, then yes, there is absolutely no need for you to inform your employer you're pregnant until you're ready. You also shouldn't disclose your pregnancy prior to getting a job offer, since it puts the employer in a tough spot legally. But once you've got them in a position where you've got something you want (and that something is you) - and they have a hard time saying no without the potential of legal action or really bad press, then that's the best time to negotiate your leave. 

That makes sense. I was misunderstanding what you were saying. 

[k3am]

@led, maternity leave and rights is seriously one of the most complicated concepts I can think of. Even our HR folks at my old company had no clue what they were doing. Even the resources online just aren't that clear. I wish I'd had TCF (mostly the working parents board, or WM on TD, at the time) to help me navigate, but I didn't really get active until after I came back to work.

I know I'll be asking a ton more questions the next time around, both of our HR and some of the gals on TCF who are knowledgeable. I work for a very rare company that allows for a maternity leave regardless of length of tenure, so I'm hoping they don't hate the fact that I timed TTC almost perfectly for qualifying for FMLA and SDI. (Started in May, pregnant in August).

[teraiin]

k3am, thanks for the explanation! I was confused too, but it makes more sense now.

[k3am]

Also, I totally missed the trying to get the new company to measure start date based on the old job (March). The company could probably do this (if they wanted to.. but it's not in their best interests, so it's not likely they would), but FMLA would probably be out of the question.

I still stick with my prior advice though.