Shower gift question (not one of ours)

[k3am]

One of my friend's from college is pregnant with twins. She lives about 1.5 hours away, and has been trying for soooooo long to have babies, so everyone is really excited. I'd seen photos from 2-3 different showers posted online, and just assumed I didn't make the guest list for whatever reason and was okay with the decision. I ordered her a bunch of stuff (not off registry, just "fun" stuff - a book about twins, a book for the parents to keep, PB&J onesies, etc) and had it delivered and got a lovely thank you card.. and an invitation to a shower. 

So now I'm torn. I don't want to show up empty handed, but I'm pretty much already at where my budget is for spending gifts on friend's babies. I was thinking I'd just order her a pack of diapers and call it a day. But based on her registries, she's only using the super crunch organic diapers (read: expensive), and possibly has plans to cloth diaper. 

Would you show up empty handed? Blow your budget and spend on more items? Buy her diapers that are reasonably priced? Or spend more money on the diapers that are on her registry. 

[Deleted]

I would get her a card and call it good enough. You already got her a gift, no reason to buy her more just because she invited you to a shower.

[teraiin]

I'd probably get a card and something small like a pair of those warm fuzzy socks or something since it sounds like you got her some baby stuff already.

However I also don't think it would be rude if you only gave a card as you've already given her some stuff

[walkek85]

I agree with others, a card and maybe a very small gift. Pack of bibs, or a couple inexpensive onesies.

[shadesofgold]

Oct 5, 2015 12:14:30 GMT -5 @led said:

I would get her a card and call it good enough. You already got her a gift, no reason to buy her more just because she invited you to a shower.

+1. I am sure if they do a big gift opening thing, she'll be classy when she opens your card and say "and she sent me the cutest stuff!" I bet she genuinely forgot you on the invite or didn't think you were interested, rather than her trying to make a play for more gifts!

[westiemom]

I think a card is sufficient. You already sent gifts. Personally, I think that's proper etiquette anyways!

[fishbulb]

1+ on the card. I think the one gift is enough. If you did want to get her a little something, you could get her something she could use while she's in the hospital or in those first few hazy weeks of motherhood.

[k3am]

To be clear, I totally didn't think that she was doing it as a ploy for more gifts.. I just forgot along the way that she's got about 150 members in her family "near" family, and that's just counting the women... then she's got her local friends, and her non-local friends, her church friends, etc, all of which can easily fill up a person's home and necessitate multiple showers.

I just hate the idea of not having a gift to oooh and ahhh over. (although you don't really ohh or ahh over diapers, huh?)

[shadesofgold]

Oct 5, 2015 12:52:27 GMT -5 k3am said:

To be clear, I totally didn't think that she was doing it as a ploy for more gifts.. I just forgot along the way that she's got about 150 members in her family "near" family, and that's just counting the women... then she's got her local friends, and her non-local friends, her church friends, etc, all of which can easily fill up a person's home and necessitate multiple showers.

I just hate the idea of not having a gift to oooh and ahhh over. (although you don't really ohh or ahh over diapers, huh?)

I hear ya. One year I offered to help my SIL buy some things for her wedding, including her heels, as early Christmas gifts. When Christmas rolled around I did the card with some token (I think an ornament) and wrote at the end of the card "I hope you love the wedding shoes - I can't wait to celebrate with you." I wanted to jog her memory why she wasn't getting a big gift. You could find a subtle way to say something like that in the card.

[Ruca]

Another vote for the card

[snoris]

Yeaaa, it sounds like nobody would notice if there wasn't a gift from you at the shower?? You and she already know you got her some really nice stuff, so I would definitely not blow my budget for it. If you really don't want to show up empty handed, +1 on the card, cheap onesies, cheap book, or something pampering for Mom

[mrsw062610]

I would do a card and a small gift from her registry. That way you're not coming "empty handed" and you're not blowing your budget.

[mrssqueegy]

Card is good.

[Sammich_Cat]

I'd pick up a kid's book and write a note to the twins and/or her in the front cover in lieu of a card. I always think that's cute.

[starfishy]

Oct 5, 2015 13:47:46 GMT -5 Sammich_Cat said:

I'd pick up a kid's book and write a note to the twins and/or her in the front cover in lieu of a card. I always think that's cute.

I was going to say the same thing. Maybe buy 2 baby books and write a nice note in them.

[grneyes]

I think just a card is completely fine since you already sent a gift. I do like the idea of giving a book with a note in it though.

[rnmommy]

I would bring a card and maybe a small gift. Books are always wonderful. Ooh, make her some boob cookies if she's planning on breastfeeding!

Boob Cookies

INGREDIENTS

1 cup butter or margarine
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
4 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons flaxseed meal*
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2-3 tablespoons brewer’s yeast**
3 cups oats, thick cut if you can get them
1-2 cups chocolate chips


DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

2. Mix together 2 tablespoons of flaxseed meal and water, set aside for 3-5 minutes.

3. Cream (beat well) margarine and sugar. Add eggs one at a time, mix well. Stir flaxseed mixture and add with vanilla to the margarine mix. Beat until blended.

4. Sift together flour, baking soda, salt and brewer’s yeast. Add to margarine mixture.

5. Stir in oats then chips.

6. Drop by tablespoons onto baking sheet, preferably lined with parchment or silpat.
7. Bake 10-12 minutes.

Serves: 6 dozen cookies

*can be found at any local health food store, in the baking aisle
** It must be brewer’s yeast – no substitutions! Found in supplements aisle.

[birch113]

I think a card is fine! If you really feel funny not bringing a gift, I would get a gift for her to use in the hospital (cozy slippers?) or once she gets home. I love PP's suggestion for lactation cookies. I'd probably say something like, "I hope the babies enjoy their gifts. Here's something just for mana."