Good vibes request and FU to my body
Jan 28, 2015 11:50:00 GMT -5
Post by kcrkcs on Jan 28, 2015 11:50:00 GMT -5
This is long, and at this juncture I don't even no what kind of vibes I am asking for... sorry in advance.
So Sunday night I got up to pee and found a decent amount of red blood. Of course this put me in full panic, so after checking with people who weren't losing their minds, that I wasn't being completely ridiculous I made an appointment for a check with my OB Monday. The news was not great. At 6w3d (this is an estimate as I don't temp) all they saw was a sac, and it wasn't even a real big one. The OB said based on my history (balanced translocation) that although I hadn't yet I was likely to miscarry. he wanted me to come back at my scheduled appointment 2/9 for a recheck, either to make sure I had passed all tissue or if by some chance I hadn't miscarried already to see if there was any growth. I was of course devastated, but not shocked.
The mild cramping and some minimal bleeding, mostly brown discharge continued through Monday. Tuesday I had almost no discharge/bleeding and also no cramping. Middle of Tuesday night I woke up to the most horrible cramp (like the kind I get when I have an O while pregnant) and I went to the bathroom sure I would find armageddon, but nothing and still nothing. Not even a little discharge anymore. The extreme morning sickness has died down a bit although not gone away (it didn't until three days after my D&C last time so I know this doesn't mean much).
Anyway I guess the point of all of this is I just feel lost. I don't know whether to be wishing everything is ok, or that the MC just hurries up and gets on with it. I feel like hoping everything is ok, is setting myself up for more devastation, on the other hand I hate to wish this baby away. Any insights, positive thoughts for general healing or just a swift kick in the ass are welcome. Sorry this is mostly a vent, I just don't know where else to let it all out. Thank you so much to anyone that read through all of this.
So Sunday night I got up to pee and found a decent amount of red blood. Of course this put me in full panic, so after checking with people who weren't losing their minds, that I wasn't being completely ridiculous I made an appointment for a check with my OB Monday. The news was not great. At 6w3d (this is an estimate as I don't temp) all they saw was a sac, and it wasn't even a real big one. The OB said based on my history (balanced translocation) that although I hadn't yet I was likely to miscarry. he wanted me to come back at my scheduled appointment 2/9 for a recheck, either to make sure I had passed all tissue or if by some chance I hadn't miscarried already to see if there was any growth. I was of course devastated, but not shocked.
The mild cramping and some minimal bleeding, mostly brown discharge continued through Monday. Tuesday I had almost no discharge/bleeding and also no cramping. Middle of Tuesday night I woke up to the most horrible cramp (like the kind I get when I have an O while pregnant) and I went to the bathroom sure I would find armageddon, but nothing and still nothing. Not even a little discharge anymore. The extreme morning sickness has died down a bit although not gone away (it didn't until three days after my D&C last time so I know this doesn't mean much).
Anyway I guess the point of all of this is I just feel lost. I don't know whether to be wishing everything is ok, or that the MC just hurries up and gets on with it. I feel like hoping everything is ok, is setting myself up for more devastation, on the other hand I hate to wish this baby away. Any insights, positive thoughts for general healing or just a swift kick in the ass are welcome. Sorry this is mostly a vent, I just don't know where else to let it all out. Thank you so much to anyone that read through all of this.
My Body Hates Me
