Post by happymamax2 on Jan 28, 2015 15:27:26 GMT -5
I will say that the other night we were just like rubbing and kissing each other and literally that was it. Afterwards, he was like "that was like the best 3 minutes of my life!" He was semi-serious. Hahahaha.
My FI has been great. He gives me foot and back massages, constantly makes sure I feel OK. He's always making sure I eat enough. We take turns cooking, if I don't feel up to it, he cooks and he's a fabulous cook so I'm ok with that :-). He's already talking about when we're having the next one.
As far as DTD, we still do about 2-3x a week, but he doesn't pressure me or complain about it. We had a talk last night about how difficult its getting for me to have sex and he's 100% supportive of me not wanting it. He doesn't complain.
OP, I'm sorry your H said that to you. That would not sit well with me.
My H has been very understanding, especially after everything I've been through with the IF treatments. He really hasn't complained about anything, although he did mention my snoring is really loud. He sleeps on the couch most nights because of it, plus he has cough that would keep me up. One funny thing he mentioned about my bump is my tattoo that is right above my hip. He swears it is creeping around to the front of my belly. No honey, it's just stretching out. lol
I have one tattoo on my hip and another on my ribs. The one on my hip is a little stretchy, but so far my rib piece hasn't moved thank the lord. MH always does random tattoo checks "just to be sure" lol.
I am really lucky in that I have a DH that is really empathetic and kind to me. He calls me his tiny wife all the time (which makes me feel squishy inside because I'm almost 6 ft), and offers me foot massages
That does not, however, stop him from laughing at me when I'm turtled on the couch, or trying to steal my snacks. Hmph
MH likes to walk into the kitchen when he comes home and yell "Where's my pooch?" I think it's cute sometimes, but other times I'm thinking why does life have to revolve around how "poochy" I've become.
MH will occasionally ask me if I'm sure I want to do this again, typically after I hit an hour of whining about how bad my back hurts. But I think the way your husband approached the situation is really douchey. I can understand a guy getting mopey with no sex, but seriously the fact that you're willing DTD once a week makes him pretty damn lucky.
Yea your H is kinda being a whiny little bitch if he's getting it once a week and unhappy about it. Some H's haven't had any booty in months.
My H didn't get it much in the beginning because I was so nauseous and tired all the time but he didn't utter one word of complaint and overall has been amazing. Now he gets it all the time because somehow I've developed sex drive of a teenage boy. He tells me how cute my bump is and how tiny I am which makes me feel better about myself. When he comes home from work and the kitchen is a mess he doesn't say a word, he cleans it himself and them will cook dinner. He's amazing. He truly appreciates that my body is making a person and knows that any side effects are well worth the reward of a baby.
OP, I'm sorry your H said that to you. That would not sit well with me.
My H has been very understanding, especially after everything I've been through with the IF treatments. He really hasn't complained about anything, although he did mention my snoring is really loud. He sleeps on the couch most nights because of it, plus he has cough that would keep me up. One funny thing he mentioned about my bump is my tattoo that is right above my hip. He swears it is creeping around to the front of my belly. No honey, it's just stretching out. lol
I have one tattoo on my hip and another on my ribs. The one on my hip is a little stretchy, but so far my rib piece hasn't moved thank the lord. MH always does random tattoo checks "just to be sure" lol.
I have 3 tattoos on my lower abdomen, one of which is below my belly button by an inch or so (normally) and goes to my pubic bone. The top half of it has doubled in size due to stretching. However, I had that same tattoo when I was pregnant with my son, it stretched out like woah, and went right back to normal. THe other two are off to the sides (near my hips) and haven't changed a bit (that I've noticed)
Post by toastercat on Jan 28, 2015 16:22:34 GMT -5
Mine has been slacking up until lately. I think because now my belly is bigger and he realizes that I only have a little bit of time left to go he is trying to ramp up the pampering. I shamelessly plan on becoming a little more "helpless" in the next few weeks to take advantage of what is being offered. Normally I'd say I was sounding like a whiny little biotch, but I'm big, tired, hongray, and IDGAF.
That's a terrible mindset for your H to have. We haven't done it in a month and before that was about another month. It's uncomfortable and my vagina hurts all day long. Last night as a matter of fact I told H "I'm sorry we haven't really been intimate lately" and his response was "Its totally expected with what you have going on, I miss you but it's not something we can't overcome". Hopefully once the baby is here your h will see how amazing your body is to create such a beautiful being and put his selfish needs aside.
Post by ashleyrh661 on Jan 28, 2015 16:38:30 GMT -5
My H complains about not having enough sex. But he did before I was pregnant too. My sex drive is pretty low. Most of the time I ignore him cause I don't give a fuck. Something's I put him in his place and he apologizes. At 8 months pregnant I am deff not wanting to get down. He hasn't complained to much but I try to hook him up with a BJ every once in awhile. He walks on air after a little lovin and I don't mind keeping him happy. Not saying that's what you should do! Just what works for us.
OP, I'm sorry your H said that to you. That would not sit well with me.
My H has been very understanding, especially after everything I've been through with the IF treatments. He really hasn't complained about anything, although he did mention my snoring is really loud. He sleeps on the couch most nights because of it, plus he has cough that would keep me up. One funny thing he mentioned about my bump is my tattoo that is right above my hip. He swears it is creeping around to the front of my belly. No honey, it's just stretching out. lol
I have one tattoo on my hip and another on my ribs. The one on my hip is a little stretchy, but so far my rib piece hasn't moved thank the lord. MH always does random tattoo checks "just to be sure" lol.
I have one on my hip too, and it stretched comically with DD. It's not as stretched this time, but it's still a bit noticeable- fortunately it snapped back mostly after DD. The tattoo checks are cute!
my H has been pretty remarkable this entire pregnancy. This one has been better mentally & physically than my pregnancy with DD, so (as much as I hate to say it this way) we've both enjoyed this pregnancy more. Of course, I'm pretty sure I have an amazing H overall even when I'm not KU and I'm a very lucky wife. I'm always reminded of that when someone makes a post like this.
Until someone else mentioned boobs, I totally forgot that the hubs likes to grab my boobs and whisper "soon" in the creepiest voice he can manage. He's really been enjoying watching those puppies get bigger. He also jokes about milking me like a cat, as seen on Meet the Parents.
My H has been pretty great. I feel extra whale, but he always tells me I'm beautiful.
He is very accommodating and takes care of me - but is very grateful that he doesn't have to be the pregnant one. He knows he has it easy and keeps talking about having more - but I think he just does it to wind me up - he knows I can't do it again.
My H has been pretty wonderful too. We were both put through the wringer at the beginning with the severity of my prenatal depression/anxiety, and even though it all scared him so much that he recoiled a bit, he was always there. He's a little reluctant in the back rub department, but once I'm settled on the couch in the evenings, he goes upstairs to get me anything I want, sometimes multiple times. I'm usually sitting in bed when he gets home from work/school, often having done nothing all day, and he never complains. Anytime I joke about being "fat and pregnant," he corrects me and says "not fat, just pregnant". And once in awhile I'll tell him it's his turn to carry the baby for a bit and he'll come up behind me, wrap his arms under my belly, and gently lift. It feels amazing. I'm telling you girls, get your H's on this. I'm sorry OP that your H is being so selfish/insensitive. Don't get me wrong, despite all of the above, mine has had his moments too. I just hope your H's are as few and far between. Oh, and if it helps, go ahead and tell him that some H's haven't gotten ANY since conception (e.g. mine), so he should count his lucky stars.
Post by mommyofkaylin on Jan 28, 2015 18:35:59 GMT -5
I'm sorry he said that to you. DH and I are down to once a week as well. He's been great about it. Unfortunately, you may need to explain to him that postpartum, there will be no lovin for at least 6 weeks. And then after that, it's painful to get back into it. The first time DH and I had a really good night of sex after DD was born was almost 3 months after her birth. My DH asked me to give him a BJ about 1 week after my c-section and tried to guilt me into it. I about killed him.
Post by drudolph11 on Jan 28, 2015 19:26:09 GMT -5
Oh i have one and i have to preface this by saying that my SO has been amazing and he is wonderful and i love him but the other day he got the death stare from hell from me when i was huffing and puffing about getting out of bed actually i have recently resorted to the rolling off of the bed method because it is much less work and then i was complaining about carrying around the extra weight and he says "well its not like you just put that all on over night, you have had like 8 months to get used to it" oh if looks could kill, i would have been attending a baby shower and funeral around the same time!
megaugust10 It sounds like your H is being really selfish. I would hand him a bottle of lotion and tell him that he wont have to worry about "going through this again" for a very long time.
My H has been trying to be very patient. Between being sick, pelvic pain, and lack of sleep, it has been at least a month. He told me a few weeks ago that he wouldn't be into it, if I wasn't, so I should just let him know if the mood strikes.
He didn't really get what I was going through during the first tri, but he has come around since then. One day after I had been to the ER for an enema due to an impaction caused by zofran, he told me that he would like to start trying for #2 right away. I almost puked in his face out of spite.
Oh i have one and i have to preface this by saying that my SO has been amazing and he is wonderful and i love him but the other day he got the death stare from hell from me when i was huffing and puffing about getting out of bed actually i have recently resorted to the rolling off of the bed method because it is much less work and then i was complaining about carrying around the extra weight and he says "well its not like you just put that all on over night, you have had like 8 months to get used to it" oh if looks could kill, i would have been attending a baby shower and funeral around the same time!
Get used to it??? There is literally a bowling ball growing inside of you getting heavier every day, your hormones are changing week-by-week (which men really don't understand, they don't deal with it ever) AND on top of that your body has to go through massive changes to accommodate all of this.
Man if only our husbands could get that the second trimester was a cakewalk compared to the third.
Post by cwbandthenewbie on Jan 28, 2015 20:56:04 GMT -5
Sex isn't happening right now, but I'm itchy and swollen and it's just not something I care to stay up late for (I'm in bed by 830 and H likes to stay up late). He doesn't make me feel bad about it.
In general, my 3rd trimesters have been tough. It hasn't deterred my husband from wanting STILL a third child. I appreciate that I can be honest with him about how I feel and he still is up for a third if I change my mind. I'm glad he understands that this is just a phase- a moment in time that will pass.
But I'll admit, my husband has never been super nurturing and isn't even while I'm pregnant. He takes care of me, but I'm a pretty independent person and I think he doesn't blink an eye when he sees me moving the couch to clean the dog hair. I'm ok with that. If I asked him to move it, he would. So I don't get treated like a princess, but what I really want from him is to help me when I need it and to give me the flexibility to complain, whine, cry or whatever.
My DH has been absolutely amazing through this whole thing. But there have been a few funny things he's said.
I groan a lot when I get up off the couch and he loves to make fun of me for that.
I had a hemmarhoid bust the other day and I freaked out. DH has bad hemmarhoids and was pretty amused / smug that I finally know "what he's going through". But he waited to be snarky about it until after he calmed me down from being convinced there was a serious problem because blood.
He also was commenting that when he's using his hand and I have a big O he can feel something hard and round and he thought it was the baby. I didn't believe him, so I asked my doctor. She confirmed that it was most likely the head. Which doesn't bug DH, but I can't believe baby is low enough to feel that way!
And he hates my snoogle with a burning passion.
But it's all been funny/sarcastic stuff, never anything mean or that makes me feel bad about myself.
I just told my H what your doc said about being able to feel the baby and he said "yup you just sealed your fate, I'm not touching you for the next 7 weeks." Lol he's freaked out
Really the only reason he is getting sex that much is because it helps my hips. They were bad before getting pregnant. The movements help get them set back in place right or they are really bad. I saw a "specialist" before on my hips and he was amazed I could pop the one in and out of the joint at will so he was no help.
So, DH is amazing. I'm a super spoiled girl about 90% of the time, so those 10%s stick out pretty bad (maybe why I word vomit/vented all day on here about him yesterday…?) That being said, he isn't exactly a filter-what-you-say kind of guy, or one who really realizes how bad things sound when he says them out loud. A few months ago, he was on the phone with my dad and I was on the phone with my mom, and I overheard him say to my dad, "She's doing alright -- she's getting a *lot* bigger a *lot* quicker this time around, though…" My parents were (lovingly) outraged on my behalf, and my sweet dad quickly helped him see that you can't say shit about how fat your wife is getting even if she is saying it herself.
Then there was the time when he tried to make a, "I think there might be something wrong with your tummy; you should go get that checked out" comment…. but it was in front of the babysitter and it ended up coming out like, "um, that shirt makes your belly look massive." Poor babysitter -- shit got awkward real quick.
The other day we had a convo like: Me: soon, my vag will never be the same again! Him: it's already different! Me: really??! What's different?? Him: (gestures at pregnant body) just everything - our sex life is very different now.
(we have sex at least 2 times a week, down from 3-4)
Me: oh well -- yeah I know, but I mean specifically my vagina. Physically. Him: but it's all the same. Your vagina is essentially just a main player in our sex life -- I see giving birth as getting closer to normal. You won't be pregnant & we can have sex like normal. Me: NO I am talking about MY BODY being different physically, NOT our sex life one way or the other! Him: since when did your vagina become separate from our sex life? [more rambling essentially saying there's no reason to worry about my vagina independently from our sex life] Me: JUST STOP.
Arghhhh! I can worry about my vagina on its own-- fuck your sex life! (And yes I know it will be fine. It's the healing process I'm dreading...)
We haven't had sex for like 2 months. Sex has actually been pretty minimal all pregnancy :/ I'm just not into it. My H has been great and hasn't complained about it. I would be pissed if he did.
My DH has been absolutely amazing through this whole thing. But there have been a few funny things he's said.
I groan a lot when I get up off the couch and he loves to make fun of me for that.
I had a hemmarhoid bust the other day and I freaked out. DH has bad hemmarhoids and was pretty amused / smug that I finally know "what he's going through". But he waited to be snarky about it until after he calmed me down from being convinced there was a serious problem because blood.
He also was commenting that when he's using his hand and I have a big O he can feel something hard and round and he thought it was the baby. I didn't believe him, so I asked my doctor. She confirmed that it was most likely the head. Which doesn't bug DH, but I can't believe baby is low enough to feel that way!
And he hates my snoogle with a burning passion.
But it's all been funny/sarcastic stuff, never anything mean or that makes me feel bad about myself.
I told my husband about what your Dr. said, and he told me I would be lucky if I even get it when we are trying to induce. I am SOL if I want it any time soon!!!! LOL
Post by huggabugga11 on Jan 29, 2015 12:49:53 GMT -5
My H has been decent....
I say decent because he has been doing a good majority of all the work over the last 8 weeks or so because of the whole "your baby is too small, rest as much as possible and eat or you could be having an early baby" thing. Since we got that diagnoses he has been awesome about DOING everything, he just tries to guilt trip me about it all the time. He will ask me to do something, and then doesn't seem to realize that it takes me longer to get things done because I have to rest in between or else I get too winded to do anything. With DS I was very independent because he was gone all the time (Navy) and I had no other option but to do everything myself. With this baby, it has been the exact opposite. We have only been DTD maybe once every 2 weeks or so. He makes fun of me a lot, what with my size, and it seems like he has to remind me "how pregnant" I look on a daily basis, which is also something I didn't have with DS as I didn't ever show with him. He doesn't seem to have a filter. He does always remind me how beautiful he thinks I am though. So, decent.
Post by scrappypom on Jan 29, 2015 19:54:29 GMT -5
DH doesn't complain about lack of sex, thank GOD, I would probably get pretty upset. The only way that works is me on top, and I rarely feel sexy like that these days. Plus sex causes me to have contractions, so that is a mood killer for both of us. He doesn't seem worried about going weeks/ a month at a time without. He is just excited about getting a baby!
It must be preganancy brain, because I can't think of anything terribly stupid he has said recently! He does occasionally drink too much, which annoys the hell out of me!
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