what has your SO said about pregnancy?

[Deleted]

Last night I could barely walk because lo was sitting across my hips wrong. Hb asked me why I want to go through this again. We have always said 2 kids this is number 1. He said HE doesn't want to go through it again because in his words he doesn't get sex and half my body is off limits to him. We have sex at least once a week but he is tired of figuring out logistics so I am not in pain.

[mandi195]

I'd have told my DH to go fuck himself, honestly; but that's me.
My DH is thrilled about it, but feels bad/guilty that I am in so much pain (I have some serious pelvis/pubic bone issues). We haven't had sex in a few months, and he hasn't once bitched about it. I'm sure he wishes we were, but with the pain I'm in he understands and hasn't even asked about it.
We haven't decided if we will do this again or not; we're waiting until LO is a year old before we discuss it. (We each have a son from a previous relationship, so this is #3 for us)

[pearsforpoops]

Yeah sorry OP I can't think of much besides how much of an asshole your H was being. I'll have to get back to you. I hope you slapped him. (OK not really I don't advocate violence...but I do hope you glared at him. And cussed.)

[earthian]

Jan 28, 2015 13:25:26 GMT -5 @megaugust10 said:

Last night I could barely walk because lo was sitting across my hips wrong. Hb asked me why I want to go through this again. We have always said 2 kids this is number 1. He said HE doesn't want to go through it again because in his words he doesn't get sex and half my body is off limits to him. We have sex at least once a week but he is tired of figuring out logistics so I am not in pain.

Im jealous of your once a week sexy times! Its been at least 2 months for dh and I. ::wahh:: I'm usually in too much pain and when we're actually both into it, of course that's the night that dd just won't sleep.

My dh is set on this being our last baby since he only wants two and before this pregnancy I wanted 3-4 kids. Whenever I complain about the pain he says that I need to remember this so I won't want to do it again.

It's working though, I am about 85% sure this is our last.

[jnow]

Jan 28, 2015 13:31:21 GMT -5 pearsforpoops said:

Yeah sorry OP I can't think of much besides how much of an asshole your H was being. I'll have to get back to you. I hope you slapped him. (OK not really I don't advocate violence...but I do hope you glared at him. And cussed.)

I agree.  My H has been so great I was actually trying to figure out what I could do to get him mad (not that I would actually do these things).  Whenever I ask him to pour me a glass of wine or pick me up sushi he just says ok (these things are rare).

I'm not saying that husband's aren't allowed to be cranky, but what you described is pretty crappy.

[luckystarz]

My husband has been really great, he told me yesterday I looked like death warned over and to go back to bed. I have been pretty sick the past few days, and we use that term with each other when we really feel bad.

We both knew we only wanted one more, and the stress and issues with this pregnancy have solidified that even more.

[NatashaBromanoff]

I feel you on husbands being jerks about things, especially in the beginning for me, though since the middle of the second trimester he's been more sympathetic. I know my inability to do basically everything has left him super bothered, and sometimes he will blurt out "You're never allowed to be pregnant again!" Honestly, I think he's just as frustrated as I am.

sex-wise though, I am not graceful and since the bump got added to the equation neither of us have been interested in figuring out logistics.

[mel7806]

Yeah, if my DH said something like that to me, there would definitely be cussing involved. We haven't DTD in several months, and while I feel bad/guilty about this, I also know how uncomfortable it makes me. Aside from the logistics, I get seriously paranoid that any excessive moisture is blood or fluids and I just can't get into it.

As far as stuff he has said about the pregnancy...I was talking to him about my hips shifting the other day and how I can feel them getting looser and looser. I started talking about pelvic cradle pains and baby stretching her head lower and he told me to stop talking. When I asked him why, he said I was making his penis hurt. And this is why men can't be the pregnant ones!

[kcbizme]

My H has overall been really great. He's always trying to make sure I eat well and reminding me to do my stretches and relaxation. He also encourages me to walk a lot and to keep my feet up, and consequently doesn't complain when I ask him to get me stuff.

The only thing he complains about is the fact that I take up twice as much room in the bed now. He bought me a nice fluffy body pillow for Christmas and I love to remind him that it's 50% his fault that A) my bump is in the way, and B) he bought me the damn pillow.

[NatashaBromanoff]

Oh, I will say, I make a point to let my husband know a lot of what I'm going through and I know he does a lot of his own reading out of curiosity. He just doesn't get it sometimes! It took me telling him that morning sickness was like being perpetually hungover for him to get why I couldn't make him all his favorite foods without gagging. The more I tell him what I'm dealing with, the less he's a dick about things.

[winningcolors]

OP, I'm sorry your H said that to you. That would not sit well with me.

My H has been very understanding, especially after everything I've been through with the IF treatments. He really hasn't complained about anything, although he did mention my snoring is really loud. He sleeps on the couch most nights because of it, plus he has cough that would keep me up. One funny thing he mentioned about my bump is my tattoo that is right above my hip. He swears it is creeping around to the front of my belly. No honey, it's just stretching out. lol

[coozieinmypurse]

DH has been awesome. He's usually the one begging me to slow down. We are still D-ing-TD about once a week and he's fabulous about checking that I'm comfortable and basically doing all the work himself. He is also cooking pretty much every meal and doing all the dishes. I think he'd do my laundry if I asked him. I think the most annoying thing he's done is to tell me that I was snoring on the couch as he sent me to bed. I'm a lucky girl.

[starsailor26]

Yeah that was kind of douchey of your H to say. Mine has been really great, the exception being a few barely concealed eye rolls when I start to cry over nothing. Not that I blame him. We haven't DTD in months and he hasn't complained once because he sees how uncomfortable I am just being, let alone trying to get it on. This is our second but he was just as great the first time.

[coleybug13]

My SO laughs at me a lot when I try to get off the couch, out of bed, try to get my shoes on etc. But I love it, for some odd reason. I am normally a really active person and am extremely stubborn in doing things on my own so he gets a kick out of seeing me waddle around and grunt to put my own shoes on.

He Also makes comments like my ass is huge or calls me oversized. He's honest and it's kinda cute when he tries to say "no! I meant you look like a cow in a good way! You're like a beautiful cow!" haha Idk we have a weird relationship maybe?

[ac123185]

I must say my fiancé is pretty good about everything. He's always so sweet, he has cute little nicknames for me that I think are funny. He's as helpful as I need him to be, I still like to do as much as I possibly can. He's pretty understanding considering we are barely DTD anymore.

[kcbizme]

Jan 28, 2015 14:32:02 GMT -5 coozieinmypurse said:

DH has been awesome. He's usually the one begging me to slow down. We are still D-ing-TD about once a week and he's fabulous about checking that I'm comfortable and basically doing all the work himself. He is also cooking pretty much every meal and doing all the dishes. I think he'd do my laundry if I asked him. I think the most annoying thing he's done is to tell me that I was snoring on the couch as he sent me to bed. I'm a lucky girl.

I wish my H could cook. Also, I woke myself up snoring this morning, so I'm pretty sure I've woken him up b/c he's a very light sleeper.

[mrsk]

OP sorry your H is being such a turd, that comment would've really upset me.

My H has been so amazing this whole pregnancy, with the exception of being over concerned at times. He is so in to this whole pregnancy thing and takes really good care of me. He'll occasionally read up on baby stuff and he loves to feel babies move. We're lucky, sex hasn't been a problem so far. I think he might be more baby crazed than I am, he notices and points out more babies when we're out than me. As for more kids, we are playing it by ear and seeing how we feel after these two are here.

[whitfry]

My DH has been absolutely amazing through this whole thing. But there have been a few funny things he's said.

I groan a lot when I get up off the couch and he loves to make fun of me for that.

I had a hemmarhoid bust the other day and I freaked out. DH has bad hemmarhoids and was pretty amused / smug that I finally know "what he's going through". But he waited to be snarky about it until after he calmed me down from being convinced there was a serious problem because blood.

He also was commenting that when he's using his hand and I have a big O he can feel something hard and round and he thought it was the baby. I didn't believe him, so I asked my doctor. She confirmed that it was most likely the head. Which doesn't bug DH, but I can't believe baby is low enough to feel that way!

And he hates my snoogle with a burning passion.

But it's all been funny/sarcastic stuff, never anything mean or that makes me feel bad about myself.

[luvsponies]

@megaugust10 I'm sorry your H was being such a pill. He should feel lucky. We haven't had sex in a month.

My H has actually been a saint. The first really snitty thing he said was a few nights ago when I was being worried about the nursery and he was like, "WELL, you should just help more." I had actually helped a lot that day (to the extent I could - I can't carry plywood up the stairs, stand on ladders, etc) and he apologized almost right away because it was unrealistic. But, I feel like he's allowed some leeway because he's been so great. He's already talking about baby #2 and I'm like whoaaaaaa dude. Dunno about that one.

[meowkitten]

Mine would have been sleeping on the couch!

DH has been wonderful. He does all of the cooking and cleaning and is constantly asking me if I feel okay or if I need anything. He's really supportive in making sure I keep up with my stretches and relaxation and he spends a ton of time with his face on my belly just talking to her. It's adorable.

[massiejs09]

My H keeps saying that my body is 'obviously made to be pregnant' since things have been pretty worry free/pain free throughout. Because of this, he thinks we should go on to have 4 or 5 more children. I'm going to be 35 in August. He's 33. This is our first child. I told him we should see how we do with this one and then maybe a year from now, think about another one. But I feel like after 2, the Ute Shop is going to be closed for good. We DTD about once per week or I just give him a BJ. But now that its close to the end I've lost my ability to finish and I think he's taking it personally, which I told him not to ... things just feel different.

I will say that he definitely doesn't win any tact awards when he takes my braless boobs and holds them up on my chest and says, 'Shouldn't these be up here?' Uhh...its called DDDs vs. gravity. Gravity wins.

I told him he'd be a terrible pregnant lady and he said, 'BS! I would be in beast mode 24/7." Oh, ok. Sure. A.k.a whiny bitch mode 24/7. HAHA.

[wamom]

I love my DH. I can't think of a dumb thing he's said in regards to pregnancy. But I could be fooled right now since he just surprised me with a mocha.

[rquinlin]

The worst MH has been about is my mood swings. They were pretty bad in the second trimester and he wasn't real understanding. Now they're not only hormonal, but due to being constantly tired and uncomfortable. He now tries to be really sympathetic. He knows I'm absolutely miserable and just trying to get through each day as it comes. Although I haven't had any serious health issues, this pregnancy has been really hard on me and DH knows it. He's trying to help, most of the time. I know he gets frustrated I'm not the woman I usually am, but he doesn't say anything about it. He wasn't completely sure we should be done having kids when I started this pregnancy, but he's totally on board now. He doesn't want me to go through all this again.

[lionelbtchy]

I kinda feel bad that we've had so little sex during the pregnancy, but my h just says that he can tell I'm not really feeling it, and if I'm not into it then neither is he. He's been pretty good at keeping his foot out of his mouth as far as saying stupid things. I think the worst he's done is say how pregnant I look...yeah, no shit.

Today he said that HE is starting to get hormonal. I just stared at him. He went on to explain that he just feels more protective and overall compassionate toward both me and the dog.

He means well.

[frecklesinside]

Jan 28, 2015 13:25:26 GMT -5 @megaugust10 said:

Last night I could barely walk because lo was sitting across my hips wrong. Hb asked me why I want to go through this again. We have always said 2 kids this is number 1. He said HE doesn't want to go through it again because in his words he doesn't get sex and half my body is off limits to him. We have sex at least once a week but he is tired of figuring out logistics so I am not in pain.

Sorry, but he sounds like a complete asshole. This pregnancy has been very rough on me and my husband does so much for me and I haven't had a sex drive at all, unlike last time. I finally initiated sex the other night and told him I was sorry it had been so long and he reassured me that he completely understands, would never want me to feel bad about that and that he just wants to help me in any way he can.

Now I know I sound like a bragging ass right now, but I had to say this because I'm sad to hear you're being so disrespected, and I don't think it is normal or acceptable. How can he care about sex like that while you are hurting and carrying a baby? Sex is an important part of intimacy, sure, but I think it is down right disgusting for anyone in the partnership to put on the pressure so selfishly and to say something so disgusting as it wouldn't be worth having another kid because of the lack of sex...

[saltyfins]

My husband has been wonderful this whole time. I feel like we've never been closer.

Confession: I make a point not to whine or complain in front of him because I want 3 kids (I think) and I don't want him to bring up pregnancy symptoms as an excuse not to have more kids. Honestly though, I don't have much to complain about anyway. I've had a pretty easy time with this pregnancy....aside from car accidents and dog bites

[babys2015]

Jan 28, 2015 15:14:38 GMT -5 frecklesinside said:

Jan 28, 2015 13:25:26 GMT -5 @megaugust10 said:

Last night I could barely walk because lo was sitting across my hips wrong. Hb asked me why I want to go through this again. We have always said 2 kids this is number 1. He said HE doesn't want to go through it again because in his words he doesn't get sex and half my body is off limits to him. We have sex at least once a week but he is tired of figuring out logistics so I am not in pain.

Sorry, but he sounds like a complete asshole. This pregnancy has been very rough on me and my husband does so much for me and I haven't had a sex drive at all, unlike last time. I finally initiated sex the other night and told him I was sorry it had been so long and he reassured me that he completely understands, would never want me to feel bad about that and that he just wants to help me in any way he can.

Now I know I sound like a bragging ass right now, but I had to say this because I'm sad to hear you're being so disrespected, and I don't think it is normal or acceptable. How can he care about sex like that while you are hurting and carrying a baby? Sex is an important part of intimacy, sure, but I think it is down right disgusting for anyone in the partnership to put on the pressure so selfishly and to say something so disgusting as it wouldn't be worth having another kid because of the lack of sex...

Yeah, I have to agree. Intimacy isn't just about sex. It can be giving back/foot rubs, hugging, kissing, holding hands. Even tho DH and I aren't DTD as much as either of us would like, you can find other forms of intimacy that keep you connected. Plus, it's only temporary, and the end result is a child you created together. I'm sorry your husband had an insensitive moment, I hope they are far and few between.

[amario2]

My DH has said several times that we are one and done. Neither he nor I actually want only one kid, but I think he felt so bad for me during the first half of my pregnancy (I was in bed throwing up from 5pm-midnight every night) that he doesn't want me to have to go through it again. Even though I was so sick, he was so awesome that I know I want more kids.

I would be pissed if my husband would ever say anything about us not having sex. I understand he has needs, but it is a complete asshole move for your DH to expect you (and your sex life) to stay the same while your body is completely changing.

[happymamax2]

I'm sorry about your H, that would've pissed me off.

The things that H has done this pregnancy that make me want to wring his neck are: taking bites of my food while I'm eating, trying to eat my "secret" snacks, and leaving his dirty laundry on the floor & not in the hamper, like come on I can barely bend over!!!

Otherwise, emotionally he's been supportive and I think he's just excited to be having a son that he's on cloud 9! So he always wants to make sure I'm comfortable. He knew once third tri started sex was going to be hard to do (I was super swollen last pregnancy at this point so he gets it.) Plus, he says it hurts him too! So it's not that big of a deal. I want to have more sex though, just bc I'm not sure how having 2 kids is going to change me afterwards. But he doesn't seem worried!

[chilibeansm0m]

Jan 28, 2015 13:25:26 GMT -5 @megaugust10 said:

Last night I could barely walk because lo was sitting across my hips wrong. Hb asked me why I want to go through this again. We have always said 2 kids this is number 1. He said HE doesn't want to go through it again because in his words he doesn't get sex and half my body is off limits to him. We have sex at least once a week but he is tired of figuring out logistics so I am not in pain.

Sounds like my H. I'm sorry. I pretty much ignore it. He is better this time than last but here we go.

Dumb things my H says:

1. This was your idea.
2. When are we having our third?
3. I only get sex when we are trying to make a baby.
4. Why can't we try doggy style? We don't have to go outside.
5. Are you going to work looking like that?
6. Why can the doctor finger pop your asshole but i cant?