Intro and TTMA Foster Care and Working Parents

[twobananas]

Hello! I'm new here, I usually hang out on GKU but last night my husband and I had a semi-serious discussion about foster care. Some background, we have two young kids (almost 3 and 1) and are trying for a third. We are planning to have 4 total, but brought up the discussion last night about maybe having 3 and then being foster parents. My husband's mom was in foster care for most of her childhood so we know first hand the good that can come out of foster care.

I haven't done much research, other than to check some of the local requirements and mark an orientation date on our calendar to learn more. 

Our biggest issue that we can see right now is that both of us work, our kids go to daycare during the week.. would it even be possible to foster a child? We would probably want to foster a child similar age to our kids (so infant to two years). Are we crazy to be thinking about this during this time in our life? Any thoughts on the matter or advice would be very appreciated! Thanks!

[ceejay]

Hi and welcome to the board!

My husband and I recently became foster parents to 2 boys, ages 2 and ~2 months. My husband wanted to be a (part time) SAHD, so he switched his hours to part time after we were officially licensed (he's a family therapist and has flexible hours) and now he only works 2 days a week. So our boys are home with him 3 days a week and at daycare 2 days a week.

As for your questions, it should be possible for you to foster with both you and your husband working. I'm not sure what state you are in, but in our state (IL) daycare costs are usually covered for foster kids. So if your state is similar, you should be able to take your foster child to the same daycare as your children, with no (or little) additional cost.

The only concern I would see with both you and your husband working is that there are a lot of appointments that foster kids need to get to. Meetings with the caseworker or GAL, weekly visits with bio parents, WIC appointments (if applicable in your state), possibly extra visits to the pediatrician, etc. As long as your and/or your husband's employers would be understanding of your need to get to these extra appointments (occasionally during work hours), you should be okay. It also might be possible for the caseworker to take your foster child to these appointments, depending on state requirements. You might want to call your local foster care agency or DCFS office and ask for more information about being foster parents, since every state is going to be slightly different and have different regulations and requirements.

Good luck! Please let me know if you have any other questions! I'm happy to help if I can.

[Deleted]

Hello!
My husband and I both work full time. Foster parenting puts you in an interesting position because you have some legal responsibilities but almost no legal rights to the children you foster. So in many ways, it is still the state's responsibility to take care of the kids. So if you guys can't take kids to appointments, the state absolutely will figure it out. For example, our FS has a sister that lives in a neighboring state and the case worker was working off the assumption that she would drive him over to do visits. We don't mind taking him and then the state also offered to reimburse us for the costs of travel. So, if you can and want to move your schedule around to take them you can, but if you can't, it is not a big deal. Also, for medical appointments, depending on the situation, the biological parents might be invited as well.

However, since we both work and don't have biological kids yet, and are still TTC, we decided that accepting infant placements would not be a good idea for us right now. But you have kids in your home already so that may be easier for you to take on.

I think you guys would benefit greatly from attending an informational meeting, even if you are mostly on the fence at this point. Most of our major concerns/questions were answered there.

[Rogue]

What everyone else said. We both work, we got to choose the daycare as long as they took payment from the state. It hasn't been an issue at all for us to work. Questions like that are great to ask at your orientation meeting.

[twobananas]

Wow, thank you all for the responses! This is a new thought and scary at the onset to think about, but I feel a pull in my heart that this would be such an incredible experience for our family and other kids in need. We are hoping to go to an informational section next month, so I will start to make a list of other questions to ask. Thanks again, really appreciate it!

[twocents6708]

Hello and welcome! My thoughts are that you might inquire about sibling groups when you go to your informational meeting. I mention that because in our state, there are more often siblings groups needing to be fostered rather than single children. There are definitely single kids needing placement as well but you might ask about stats on that. Also, most states that I know of offer daycare reimbursement for working foster parents who have placements. Our state requires that they attend a licensed facility but it's pretty typical that most of our foster parents work at least part time. Lastly, I would just echo previous posters about planning for other meetings, court hearings, appts etc. Caseworkers can often assist in a pinch in my experience but cannot transport to every single activity that might be involved with a foster child. Also, you might inquire about doing respite foster care to start out with to see if it is for you. It is basically short term care for a weekend up to a week or so when other foster parents have an obligation or need a break. That's what we are doing currently to see if it is right for us and to ease into the world of fostering. Best of luck to you in your decision!