Told my MIL

[broadwaymama]

We are staying with MIL for the weekend because we have a wedding.
She came home from work yesterday and had a really bad day, so broke out the wine right away and named me as her drinking buddy for the weekend. As soon as she left the room DH and I looked at each other and said "there is no way we can get away with this for the weekend".
So we pulled up our family pictures and let her scroll through until she got to the one of us holding the onesie.
She seems excited but keeps mentioning he worry about our finances suffering and our living situation. I'm a little bummed because I really wanted to make a bigger deal. I'm greatful for a positive reaction though.

[bgkc4]

Keep your head up. I've learned with this pregnancy that things don't always go as planned and it's probably preparing us for parenthood. I really wanted to make a big deal when I told DH about our first pregnancy. I had a big surprise planned (fancy dinner, hotel, custom t-shirt), but then I started having complications very early on an had to go to the ER within days of finding out, so not only did I have to tell him we were pregnant, but he also found out that there was an increased chance of miscarriage. It was definitely not the happy and exciting moment I'd always dreamed of. "We're pregnant...for now..." The surprise went out the window. I promise, your MIL will be excited when she meets her new grandchild.
As for her harping on the finances, I'm 35 yrs old and waited all these yrs to get pregnant partly because I wanted to be financially stable. But to be honest, I don't think I'm much more financially prepared for this than I was 5 years ago! I'm still scratching my head and trying to configure another person into our budget. I say all of this to say, you are not alone in your experiences, concerns and feelings.

[virginiaorjohn]

broadwaymama I am sorry your announcements haven't been as joyful and carefree as you had hoped. I hope your MIL was just in a bad headspace from work troubles yesterday. Maybe she'll be acting totally different by the end of the weekend?

[titania]

I'm sorry broadwaymama, It was probably cause of her bad day and she was caught off-guard. I'm sure she will get excited eventually.

[jlabbe1123]

I'm sorry you didn't get the excitement you were hoping for. Maybe in a few days when it sinks in a bit things will change. Some people seem to think of the downside before the up but they always seem to get there sooner or later. Have fun at the wedding!!

[soultrane]

I'm sorry you didn't get the reaction you were hoping for broadwaymama.

Quick story - When we told MIL that I was pregnant with DS, her exact response was "...Oh. Are you sure you're ready?" Three years later, she loves G as much as a grandma can love her grandson, but I think in the moment she was worried that we weren't prepared, despite the fact that we were both 30 years old with steady jobs. She was also a helicopter mom before that became a thing, so her baby having his own baby hit her hard. She's a worrier by nature so I guess we should have expected that reaction from her, but it still stings when that's the response you get. Give her some time and I bet she comes around!

[cattuccino]

I want to say her less excitement was also being caught off guard.
But I know how much it sucks when you expect someone to be more excited and make a bigger deal out of it, and instead they focus on one aspect that could be negative.
I think once it sinks in she'll get more excited - as well as when she meets her grand baby.
My own MIL is very "oh okay" non-chalant and non-emotional about these things. Even when I sent her a recording of the baby's heartbeat it was like "oh, neat".

I also hate when we tell people and the first response is "was it planned". It ruins the whole thing and makes me wish I didn't say anything to begin with.

I sort of took this and rambled, sorry!

Hugs mama, we're excited for you!!

[broadwaymama]

I must not have written that very well. I am bummed that WE didn't get to make a bigger deal out of it. We wanted to tell everyone on thanksgiving in a special way but this was just rushed and stupid. Oh well. I talked to DH a little today and he said she is really excited she just worries. I'm just very sensitive I guess because people were so nasty with my last pregnancy.

[titania]

Oct 30, 2015 14:13:19 GMT -5 broadwaymama said:

I must not have written that very well. I am bummed that WE didn't get to make a bigger deal out of it. We wanted to tell everyone on thanksgiving in a special way but this was just rushed and stupid. Oh well. I talked to DH a little today and he said she is really excited she just worries. I'm just very sensitive I guess because people were so nasty with my last pregnancy.

Oh I'm sorry - totally misunderstood.  Are there going to be people there at Thanksgiving that won't know yet? Or do you feel she will tell everyone?  I'm sorry you didn't get to tell her in the way you planned.  And it makes me ragey that people were nasty with your last one!  That is ridiculous and makes me want to punch them all.  

[jlabbe1123]

Oct 30, 2015 14:13:19 GMT -5 broadwaymama said:

I must not have written that very well. I am bummed that WE didn't get to make a bigger deal out of it. We wanted to tell everyone on thanksgiving in a special way but this was just rushed and stupid. Oh well. I talked to DH a little today and he said she is really excited she just worries. I'm just very sensitive I guess because people were so nasty with my last pregnancy.

Yup misunderstood that too. You could still do an "official" announcement then. As long as she hasn't told the world yet. We told a handful of people but are waiting to tell everyone later & you could make it big & have her in on the surprise somehow.

[cattuccino]

Sorry for misinterpreting!
I definitely get not making a better show of it, too!
Your MIL will keep it quiet if you ask? Did you discuss that with her? You can still plan something fun. Mil can feel special she found out sooner