*~*-*~*Loss Check-In 11/15/15*~*-*~*

[flutterfly88]

Welcome to the Loss check-in! This is a board-wide check-in for all of us who have suffered a late term pregnancy or child loss. As this is a board-wide check-in and we are all at different stages in our grief, please remember to post warnings for any subjects related to pregnancy or living children.


I am also so sorry to have to welcome any new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.



Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately?



Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?



Rants/Raves/Anything else you want to share?


QOTW: Let's get to know each other a little better, are you sunrise, daylight, twilight, or night person? Please share why you picked your time of day?

[peaseblossom55]

Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately?
I am in therapy. I got my Molly bear this weekend and that was a comfort. I feel like each day is just a day more to heal.


Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Not really. I know the holidays and my EDD is going to be hard. I am trying to focus on the hope that I have while TTC.


Rants/Raves/Anything else you want to share?
Nope

QOTW: Let's get to know each other a little better, are you sunrise, daylight, twilight, or night person? Please share why you picked your time of day?
I love night so much more. I'd rather be up until 3am and sleep until noon. Not sure why either.

[flutterfly88]

Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately? I think I'm pretty much at a standstill, but am okay with where I'm at. Life is pretty good, I survived the first anniversary and although I know I'll always miss Parker, the grief of his loss is not overwhelming.



Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Still need to print out the cards and info about the donations made in honour of his first birthday, but I'm a little lazy and a procrastinator. One day I'll get to it.



Rants/Raves/Anything else you want to share? Today is mine and DH's second anniversary. It's strange to think how much we've been through in such a short time. This is one of my favourite pictures from the day. The church we were married in was on the same property as the cemetery where DH's mom is buried. The picture not only captures the love and joy of our wedding day, but the sorrow of DH's loss, and now I also see it as a foreshadowing of things to come. Less than a year later we would be back at that cemetery, laying our son to rest, his grave is behind us, just beyond the edge of the photo.    
 


QOTW: Let's get to know each other a little better, are you sunrise, daylight, twilight, or night person? Please share why you picked your time of day? I'm a night person, always have been. I do so much better in the evening hours.

[flutterfly88]

peaseblossom55, I'm glad you got your Molly bear. If you don't mind sharing I would love to see a photo of it. I hope you're finding the therapy helpful. My edd for Parker was harder than I was expecting, so be gentle to yourself as you find the day approaching and I know it's still a little ways off, but we'll be here if you need to vent or extra support.

[peaseblossom55]

Nov 16, 2015 23:14:24 GMT -5 flutterfly88 said:

peaseblossom55, I'm glad you got your Molly bear. If you don't mind sharing I would love to see a photo of it. I hope you're finding the therapy helpful. My edd for Parker was harder than I was expecting, so be gentle to yourself as you find the day approaching and I know it's still a little ways off, but we'll be here if you need to vent or extra support.

Thank you. Here is the picture I took on Saturday when it came I love it.

[peaseblossom55]

flutterfly88 Happy Anniversary as well!

[flutterfly88]

peaseblossom55, she's beautiful! Thanks for sharing.

[peaseblossom55]

Nov 17, 2015 14:26:21 GMT -5 flutterfly88 said:

peaseblossom55, she's beautiful! Thanks for sharing.

Thank you!

[murrt]

Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately?



Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

Honestly, I feel lost right now. I have no goals.

Rants/Raves/Anything else you want to share?

My baby's due date was December 1 - in two days. Within the last few weeks I have lost my job that i had for seven years, I had a miscarriage, and now I'm facing this due date like a ticking time bomb. I'm just feeling really sad, angry, and scared and I'm undergoing IVF at the moment which is putting much more pressure and emphasis on it all. The meds alone can make you nuts.

And honestly, I feel like I don't "belong" anywhere. Reading about your lost babies is awful. And I feel like my loss doesn't compare. But then, what we went through wasn't a miscarriage either. I just feel really alone.

I also found out that my friend is pregnant again. I found out on Facebook by a post her sister did (she wasn't supposed to). She had promised me she'd tell me when she was pregnant, but between my miscarriage, job loss, and pending due date, I get why she didn't call me. It still huts that she's pregnant though. The jealousy is thick.

QOTW: Let's get to know each other a little better, are you sunrise, daylight, twilight, or night person? Please share why you picked your time of day? I'm a daylight person. I get the most done then and feel the most productive.

[flutterfly88]

murrt, I'm so sorry you're feeling lost, but you are welcome here. Your story being different does not diminish your loss. You are going through so much right now, be gentle with yourself. I remember how hard Parker's EDD was and I wish I had done something to mark the day. So that would be my advice to you. Take the time to remember your LO and give yourself permission to grieve, to feel what you need to feel, and express whatever emotions come. If you need to vent or extra support, we're here for you. Sending you loving thoughts and lots of (((((hugs)))))).

[peaseblossom55]

murrt Sending you lots of hugs. I also TFMR. If you want to talk please let me know.

[murrt]

Thank you flutterfly88, and peaseblossom55, . I just decided I'm going to get an ornament to commemorate our child. I went on etsy to get something custom made. On one side, it will read "I carry your heart in my heart" from the EE Cummings poem. I read that a mother carries her child's DNA in her forever. The EE Cummings poem reminds me of that.

On the other side, it will read "Song for Someone 12/1/15" because that U2 song has taken on special meaning for DH and I - reminding us our our baby. We chose to not name or know our child's sex, but it is still just as much a loss. But since we don't have a name for our baby, "Song for Someone" just spoke to us - right in the beginning of going though our loss when we heard it for the first time, at the concert where we both cried when it was sung. It's just a special thing for us.

[flutterfly88]

Nov 30, 2015 14:24:29 GMT -5 murrt said:

Thank you flutterfly88 , and peaseblossom55 , . I just decided I'm going to get an ornament to commemorate our child. I went on etsy to get something custom made. On one side, it will read "I carry your heart in my heart" from the EE Cummings poem. I read that a mother carries her child's DNA in her forever. The EE Cummings poem reminds me of that.

On the other side, it will read "Song for Someone 12/1/15" because that U2 song has taken on special meaning for DH and I - reminding us our our baby. We chose to not name or know our child's sex, but it is still just as much a loss. But since we don't have a name for our baby, "Song for Someone" just spoke to us - right in the beginning of going though our loss when we heard it for the first time, at the concert where we both cried when it was sung. It's just a special thing for us.

That sounds beautiful murrt .

[peaseblossom55]

Nov 30, 2015 14:24:29 GMT -5 murrt said:

Thank you flutterfly88 , and peaseblossom55 , . I just decided I'm going to get an ornament to commemorate our child. I went on etsy to get something custom made. On one side, it will read "I carry your heart in my heart" from the EE Cummings poem. I read that a mother carries her child's DNA in her forever. The EE Cummings poem reminds me of that.

On the other side, it will read "Song for Someone 12/1/15" because that U2 song has taken on special meaning for DH and I - reminding us our our baby. We chose to not name or know our child's sex, but it is still just as much a loss. But since we don't have a name for our baby, "Song for Someone" just spoke to us - right in the beginning of going though our loss when we heard it for the first time, at the concert where we both cried when it was sung. It's just a special thing for us.

Beautiful!

[diamondsndaisies]

This will be my first check-in. I was pregnant with mono-di twin girls and they were both stillborn on Oct 27th at 26w6d due to TTTS. We named them Joseph.ine Kay and Soph.ie Ann. Joesphine technically passed 24hrs before Sophie did, but I delivered them on 10-27-15.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately? Just trying to get back to "normal" life. I am still very raw but getting by.


Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Day to day at this point.


Rants/Raves/Anything else you want to share? I am nervous for Christmas. Not so much because I know my girls should be here for it, but I am scared of getting gifts about losing the girls. I think I can get through the weekend if I can avoid everything reminding me of them.


QOTW: Let's get to know each other a little better, are you sunrise, daylight, twilight, or night person? Please share why you picked your time of day? daylight. I hate mornings and usually am my most productive in the early afternoon.

[flutterfly88]

diamondsndaisies. I'm so sorry for the loss of your Josephine and Sophie and to have to welcome you here. (((((Hugs)))))) Your daughters have beautiful names. Taking things one day at a time is the best thing to do right now.

For Christmas, do you have plans to be with family at all? Know that it is okay to put yourself first and do whatever you need to do to cope with the day.

[diamondsndaisies]

Dec 16, 2015 6:57:43 GMT -5 flutterfly88 said:

diamondsndaisies. I'm so sorry for the loss of your Josephine and Sophie and to have to welcome you here. (((((Hugs)))))) Your daughters have beautiful names. Taking things one day at a time is the best thing to do right now.

For Christmas, do you have plans to be with family at all? Know that it is okay to put yourself first and do whatever you need to do to cope with the day.

Yes. We are celebrating with both sides since we all live close to each other. Technically we don't the adults don't exchange gifts on my side but I know the my sister has already bought DH something and I am just hoping everyone else doesn't do the same.